Not My Type, But Things Happenbyuticanyrick©
Sandy just isn't the type of woman that I usually chase. I like heavy women the heavier the better. Sandy is thin as a rail, flat chested, has no butt at all, and to top it all off is ugly as sin. I'm not good looking by any means, no one has ever confused me with Tom Hanks. Sandy's face is just awful! She has a huge Roman nose, Small beady eyes that are set to far apart, she has almost no upper lip and her lower lip is huge, her teeth point in all directions except down, in short her face looks as if it were made up of spare parts.
She must cut her own salt and pepper hair using a mirror and dull scissors. The first time I saw her, at work, I thought she was a guy and paid no attention to her. I had to go to her desk for some information one day, she is an accountant and I'm in public relations. It was the first time I spoke to her. She had a pleasant enough voice and she checked what I needed to know quickly enough. I hadn't given her any more thought since then.
Several weeks later, on a Friday, Carol, Sandy's supervisor came to my office. "Rick would you help one of my people after work?"
"Sure, I said, what do you need?"
"One of the girls bought a gas grill for her back yard and needs someone to help her put it together. She didn't realize that it came unassembled and they delivered it during her lunch hour and is upset."
I laughed and said, "no problem I've done that before. Who is it?"
"Sandy in accounting," Carol said.
"Ok I said I'll call her and make arrangements."
"Thank you, Carol said she is all in a tizzy about it."
I looked up her extension in the company phone listing and called her. She told me where she lived, I was impressed it was a very nice neighborhood, I told her I would be there at 5:30 because I had to get my tools. She said that would be fine and that she had no tools her ex-husband had all of them.
"I hope you I'm not messing up a date for you." Sandy said.
"no I had no plans for tonight."
"That's good she said I won't feel guilty then." Sandy said.
I thought to myself if she was married I hoped they had no children or that they took after the father!
I arrived at her house just before 5:30. I had changed into jeans and a T-shirt and brought all the tools that I thought I would need. It was a huge house at least four bedrooms on a large lot I was impressed.
I rang her doorbell, Sandy opened it with a Martini in her hand. "Thank you for helping she said I'm no good at all with mechanical things."
"No problem I said."
"The thing is on the patio in the back." She said and showed me the way through the house to the back. There was a large patio and a nice sized in ground pool.
She pointed to the box and said "there it is! Would you like a drink? I make a killer martini!"
"Not just yet I said I don't drink when I work with tools, I just don't think it's a good idea."
She thought for a couple of seconds and then shook her head in agreement. "If you would like after you get that thing together I'll cook us a couple of nice steaks!"
"That would be great I said."
She sat down and asked if it was OK if she watched. "I like to watch people do mechanical things, I'm so bad with tools!" She giggled and I suspected that she was working on her second or third martini.
It was a very nice grill all stainless steel with two side burners and a rotisserie with an infrared burner. It took me an hour to get it together and working. Sandy was working on another martini by then. I heated the grill up and told her that we had to have it hot to burn off all the packing oils. "We can use it in a couple of minutes every thing seems to be working fine." I said.
"I'll get the steaks and a martini for you." Sandy said.
I said. "I could live with out the martini I said I have to drive home. A cola would be nice."
Sandy looked puzzled but said. "Ok a cola and a couple of porterhouse steaks, I like mine rare!"
"So do I." I replied.
"I'll be right back." She said and disappeared.
I checked the grill for gas leaks and to be sure all the nuts and bolts were tight. Everything was fine I wondered what was taking her so long.
She finally returned in a very small bikini with my cola and the steaks and, of course yet another martini. "I was warm she said and so I changed." She handed me the cola and the steaks.
"It is warm tonight." I said. "We can take a swim after dinner." She said.. Since it was late spring here in upstate N.Y. 70 is warm. I cooked the steaks and brought them into the kitchen. Sandy had some potato salad on the kitchen table along with place settings.
There was a picture on the wall of Sandy at what was obviously her wedding she was very pregnant, at least seven months. The groom didn't look thrilled and I recognized him as a wealthy business owner. That explained the huge house. She saw me looking at her picture.
"I loved the son of a bitch but after three children he left me for a big titted bimbo." She said almost spilling her martini. "I never complained about all his girl friends, I know I'm not great looking but his new wife is a third his age! I hope he's happy because he's paying through his nose!"
She was wound up now, all the booze was having it's effect. "The kids are all married and don't even call me, I was the best piece of ass he ever had, he just uses people."
"Some people are like that." I said.
"lets have dinner." She said changing the subject.
We talked about the office and the unusually warm weather for late May. Then she told me all about her children and showed me their pictures, they did look a lot like their father. She also told me that the only reason she worked was because she had been bored at home. Her ex paid her a lot of money every month so she didn't need the money.
It was dark before we finished dinner.
I wondered if she bought her clothes in the children's department because she was thin as a rail and had almost no tits they, weren't even an A-cup . She was only 4'10" so I suspect that she could wear children's clothes. I could see through the top of her bikini and her nipples were hard.
"Lets go swimming!" She said almost knocking her chair over when she stood up. "Oops! I need another drink!" She said and poured herself another from the picture on the kitchen counter.
I said. "I don't have any swimming trunks."
"No problem!" She said. "We'll skinny dip!" She took her top off and then pulled the bottom off as well. She had a hairy pussy and naked she looked like she had just gotten out of a world war II concentration camp. I doubt she weighed 90 pounds. I have dated women who's ass weighed more than Sandy did.
"Strip, she said, it's only fair I'm naked so you have to be too!" She took another gulp of her drink.
I decided that I would play along, what the hell, any woman is better than none. I stripped and Sandy giggled and said. "I don't want to swim I want to fuck and suck! I haven't had any sex in ten years!"
"You've been divorced for ten years?" I asked? "Twenty years!" Sandy said. "I'm 58 years old and ten years ago I was fucking the neighbors son but he went to college" She grinned and said. "I gave him his first blow job and was the first fuck he had! I'm proud of that! I taught him to eat cunt too!"
Sandy lead me to her family room there was a huge sofa and a big screen TV. "Lets put a porno on to get in the mood." She said.
I had never heard a porno movie on a home theater system before it was quite impressive. Sandy was fingering her pussy and playing with her tiny nipples. She reached into a drawer of the end table and took out a dildo and started to fuck herself with it.
I took the dildo from her and said. "Let me help you with that." Her pussy was already quite wet. I turned on the dildos vibrator and slipped it in her cunt and licked her clit as I stroked the dildo in and out slowly.
"Oh! Shit! That feels great! Don't stop!"
I sucked hard on her clit as I licked it! Sandy came hard!
"Holly fuck!" She shouted. "You know what you are doing! Keep it up!"
I laughed and sucked even harder on her clit and stroked the dildo faster, and reached up and pinched her right nipple. She came so hard that she kicked my back with the heals of her feet and screamed like a wild woman! It took her over a minute to stop shaking.
"That was great!" She said.
"I may not be cute I said but I can eat pussy as well as anyone!"
"You can say that again!" Sandy said breathlessly.
I said. "I don't have any condoms do you?"
She smiled and said. "A drawer full of them!" She opened the drawer to her end table and took out a box of ribbed condoms. "I bought them yesterday just before I bought the grill just in case the guy that delivered it was horny. But two women delivered it. They have some sort of delay cream in them so you won't cum to fast." Sandy said pointing to the notice on the box.
"Cool." I said. I opened the box and put a condom on.
Sandy said. "Lay on the floor I'll get on top I love that." I got on the floor and she straddled me and slid me cock in her soaking wet cunt. She started to bounce up and down like a porno star. I reached up and twisted both of her tiny hard nipples.
"Yes! That feels great!" Sandy screamed. She fingered her clit with one hand and fingered her ass hole with the other. Sandy came a couple of times in the first few seconds. I was moving my hips in sync with her movements. Sandy was screaming and coming every few seconds. Suddenly she stopped and fell forward. I panicked at first but realized that she had just passed out from to much drinking.
I finished fucking her until I came. Then I picked her up and brought her upstairs and found her bedroom and put her in bed.
I took a shower and got in bed with her and went to sleep.
The next morning she woke up at about 6. She shook me awake and said. "Did we have fun last night?"
I laughed and said. "Yes we did and you are on hell of a piece of ass."
She frowned and asked if she had passed out. "
Yes you did I think you may have had way to much to drink."
She looked pale and said. "I'm going to be sick." She ran to the bathroom and was very ill for a while.
When she had showered and brushed her teeth she cam back to the bed. "Sorry about that but I was horny and nervous last night it's been ten years since I had sex with anything other than my toys."
"Well you haven't forgotten anything you were great."
"The last thing I remember was you sucking on my clit and I came it's all a blur after that. How did we get here? I don't remember coming up stairs."
"I carried you up and found your room."
Sandy smiled and pulled the cover off of me and grabbed my cock and started to suck it. She licked around the head and gently squeezed my balls. I was fingering her pussy while she was sucking on my cock. Then she deep throated my cock and sucked hard until I came. She swallowed every last drop.
"Wow!" I said. "You haven't forgotten a thing!
She was moaning and said. "Finger my ass I love anal!"
I reached over and slipped a finger in her ass and she came almost as soon as I had stroked her ass a couple of times. My cock was hard again.
Sandy said. "Fuck my ass please!"
I said. "The condoms are still down stairs."
"Shit!" She said then she smiled and opened the drawer of her night table and took out another dildo and another box of pre-lubed ribbed condoms. "I had forgotten about them."
I put a condom on and Sandy put the dildo in her cunt and turned it on.
She bent over and said. "Fuck my ass please!" She was stroking the dildo already. I slowly pushed my cock in her ass. It went in easily.
"Oh Fuck Yes!" Sandy said. "faster! Please!"
I stroked as fast and as hard as I could. We both came at the same time. I pulled my limp cock out of her ass.
"Thank you I needed that!" Sandy said.
"So did I" I replied.
"Not a bad fuck for an ugly old broad!" Sandy said.
I looked at her and said. "You sure know what you want and you are a great piece of ass!" I said with a grin.