All Comments on '"Oh" Submission Town: A Mother Falls'

you are a great writer and can not wait to read your next story

During the story,you have the daughter bad mouth the father and act like he is just like the mother. yet on page two,you have her state that she is just like her dad, a dominant personality. It is also hard to believe that the mother would not have been informed of the new security or that the daughter would have such easy access to the tapes. The other thing that kills the story is that you fall into the same pattern of not only making the prey give in too easy,but also have the Dom already seduced and broken other females. Generally,your characters are too mary sue in how you treat them(the Mistress and Masters), it's not believable and actually makes me hate how weak everyone else in the story comes off as. It makes me feel as if the story should have been tossed aside for all that it feels like a Dom characters will get who they want while sub finds out that the dom somehow runs the show(be that the town,school, or whatever) despite there being no realistic reason for why or how they do so or how they keep it hidden. Most of your stories seem to fellow this pattern,so it has gotten stale. A person can still get off to it,but it fails as a story.

Wow! Lot's of good stuff in this, lady! Enough content for half a dozen stories...Thankyou!

Based on the daughter's comments about Daddy's size it would seem that horse has already left the barn. Ben appears ready to be made into the 'Master of the House'. Any of the story ideas would be interesting reading!

I am voting for all 3 to happen in upcoming chapters, and since Ben is already there, it only stands to reason that he is next!!

Thanks, Jasmine - you tick all the boxes. Go for Ben as the Dom - maybe a showdown between him and Tommy. Then there's the father; he must have some deeply buried secrets - maybe he secretly wants Cinthia - maybe he's even in the closet and Tommy or Ben - or one of the other husbands can "drag" him out. Maybe he's a closet transvestite. Ooh yes, lots of possibilities. So thanks again, Jasmine - you never let us down.

Jasmine - you really are the best and my stories seem very average beside yours

Hmmmm, well Tommy did tell her what was coming next and Cinthia did give her a preview of things to come. As such, as long as Kimberley goes "full circle" in the next installments, she eventually has a predetermined date with Tommy.

You should definitely get Ben in the picture but make him the dominate one. Thus far the daughter has been submissive to every male we have encountered the Father and the Boyfriend. Her characters psychology seems to be headed in the direction of only dominating through blackmail and profiling being only successful at ruling over women I recommend keeping her position consistent and letting Big Brother take the lead between the two. Please however add a bit more character to the Ben like you have in other stories like "what mom doesn't know series" the boyfriend apart from being an abject tool doesn't really offer any real grips to the situation. I very much enjoy your writing so I hope this gives you some helpful feedback on at least one of your audience members.

the next should be "oh" submission town cum cum lesbian fun

Nice touches all over the story. The Christmas Party and serving punch to the good wives, while 'suffering' the vibrating egg. Well done. A very good story, hugely erotic and just nasty enough without the jarring edge of degrading humiliation. Please keep going.

Amazing story, very well written. Would love to see it continued with Kimberly going to the Housewives' Club.

IF YOUR STORIES GET ANY HOTTER THEY WILL BURN THE PAGE.

From the gunny.

Hope you add to this Story

amazing job!

What a wonderful idea for a Christmas or anytime series. You forgot the most natural chapter to follow. Cinthia and Tommy have to seduce his mother. Of course Ben will join the fun he walked in on. Then it is time to bring Tommy's mother to her knees alongside Kimberly. All listed possibly chapters work for me. Keep up the good work.

Best incest D/s story I've read here. Looking forward to a new chapter.

I loved it - more, please and have five stars while you're here!

Masterful contribution to a potential 'Pulitzer prize-winning' literotica submission! IE: A stunning combination of original plot, + those material results demands further written investigation?

I want to read them all as part of this series! Can't wait!

I love to read about people who lose control to their own lust. Very hot and sexy. I would love to see the husband brought down and made a submissive pet of the daughter as well.

1st time posting an glad I waited. Keep up the great work.

I would love to read the next part - Best friends - cant wait to see what lucy does with her