Oil of Roses Ch. 07

Carol realized that she was in the middle of a ritual, a joyous celebration of… something… that had not occurred in such a long time. All the employees within hearing were out of their offices or up in their cubicles, watching and smiling and laughing.

"All right galley slaves," Harry said, "back to the oars. Don't forget, the company picnic is loosely scheduled for the first weekend we can reasonably expect a high of only about 80 degrees. Once again for your entertainment I will be risking my life to wrestle Karen and this year, I just know I'm going to… lose again."

He turned to look at the short woman supporting him effortlessly.

"Hi, snookums. Love me? Miss me? Wanna throw me out a window?"

Karen looked at him, her eyes filling with moisture. She kissed him on the cheek tenderly.

"Yes, yes, not today."

"Oh good, it would've spoiled my dinner plans. Karen Pinard, Carol Riley. Carol, go let Karen threaten you while I dig through my Rolodex."

Karen let him down to the floor. He threw his arms around her neck and whispered, "It's ok, Sappho, I'm going to be alright. I'm sorry you had to carry me."

"It's okay Harry, if I hadn't been so worried I'd of happily carried you for a lot longer than 6 short months."

"I love you too, Sappho."

He headed into his office.

"Come in Carol, let's talk."

Carol followed Karen into her office.

A wall of art from various ad campaigns, a full bookshelf, a rack with chrome free weights, and a desk covered with paperwork.

"Have a seat, Carol."

"So Karen, this is when you threaten me if I hurt Harry, right?"

"Pretty much."

"Then I'll go you one better. If I hurt Harry maliciously, with intent," Carol said, standing up and leaning on Karen's desk, locking eyes with her, "I expect you to take me out where my body will never be found and hurt me as badly as you can for as long as you can keep me alive. I don't much care what you do to my body after I leave it."

Staring into her eyes, Karen could see that Carol was serious.

"Now Karen, if I hurt him unintentionally, without malice, I'll ask you to get the full story before you hurt me, and let the full story determine how much you hurt me. Notice, I didn't say whether you hurt me, merely how much. Fair enough?"

"Fair enough."

"Karen, how open-minded are you?"

"Reasonably, I'm a liberal Democrat lesbian business owner."

"Hmm, interesting mix… you know Harry's friend Margo?"

"Yeah, one of the one's Angie had him dump. Why?"

"Well, Harry and I aren't so much a couple as we're two-thirds of a trio."

Karen sat back and Carol began to fill her in.

* * * * *

By the time she finished, Harry had joined them.

Karen came around her desk and hugged the two of them.

"It's about goddamn time. And the same as far as Margo's concerned. I mean, it's not exactly my cup of tea, but look at my track record and tell me I know anything about relationships."

"Patricia gone?"

"Yeah Harry, it was bound to happen sooner or later. With this job and my own personal obsessions, I just don't have time for a real person. I wonder, do they make inflatable lesbians?"

"Karen, you wanted to talk to me about cutting back my schedule so I could have a life outside of this office. So I wouldn't neglect it like I did with Angie. Well pot, kettle calling, check your damn skin tone."

"But Harry, we have so much to do-"

"Then let's sit down and figure out how much it will take for us to keep everybody and provide for ourselves comfortably and take on not much more business than that would require, or let's hire some executive level help. Lord knows we have the business to justify it now. If we expand anymore, we'll have to hire someone at that level anyway. Let's just go ahead and do it and have lives."

He took Karen by the shoulders and looked deep into her eyes.

"Sappho, please believe me, I'm re-discovering how important a life is. Don't wait any longer to do the same. We'll turn the headhunters loose tomorrow, hell, get on the phone and turn them loose this afternoon. Then get the fuck out of here, go find Patricia, ask her to give you another chance and tell her how things are going to be different and make them different. Please, don't wait another day to be happy, not another hour, not another minute."

"This her doing?" she asked, nodding towards Carol.

"Yep, it is."

"Then I not only owe her dinner anywhere she wants, I owe her much more. Okay Harry, I'll call the headhunters."

Harry hugged his old friend tightly to him.

"Okay, I've got business to tend to and then we need to jet."

He went to Carol, "Play along with me, angel" and put an envelope in each sleeve, one in the front of her pants and one in each boot.

"Come with me."

As they exited Karen's office he began yelling.

"OH, THE CARSON COOTIES ACCOUNT! I'VE GOT IT, I'VE GOT THE ANGLE! I KNOW WHAT WE'RE GOING TO DO!"

Carol heard a woman tell someone on the phone, "I've got to go, the boss is inspired, big office brainstorming meeting and you'll have to call back."

"CARSON COOTIES, THE BANE OF OUR EXISTENCE, I'VE GOT IT, THE ACCOUNT FROM HELL, I'VE SEEN IT, OUR WHOLE AD CAMPAIGN."

From another cube, Carol heard a man's voice, "No, really, you don't understand, I've got to let you go, right now, the boss is in a very creative space and we've got to strike while the iron is hot. Goodbye."

"SINGING COOTIES, DANCING ACROSS THE STAGE, BUSBY BERKLEY MUSICAL NUMBER, SEQUINS, TOP HATS AND TAILS!"

From an office, "No, I mean right now. No, I won't put you on hold, it could be hours, you'll have to call back, it's vital that we get in there while he's in this mood. Goodbye."

"CARSON'S COOTIES ON YOUR BUTTS

CARSON'S COOTIES NOT FOR SLUTS,

CARSON'S COOTIES GOOD WITH NUTS,

CARSON'S COOTIES IN YOUR GUTS."

The whole of the office, Karen included, was laughing, following Harry as he headed to the break room.

Once every one was inside and the laughter had died down, he looked at them all.

"Alright, I hope all of you got off the phones in time. If you didn't, you know to tell them I was having another fit."

"I've been AWOL for awhile and I know that it's been hard to put up with having the emotional black hole in the offices. Thank all of you for that. And because this happy task has traditionally fallen to me, it hasn't been performed since I went into a slump. Therefore I'm pretty sure we're guaranteed an interesting time today."

"I'd like you all to meet my lady, Carol, the one responsible for me being the happy man you see today."

A chorus of greetings washed over Carol from the smiling employees.

"And she has graciously agreed to be my assistant for today's drawing. You know the rules, elect your representative and although it's been a long time since we did one of these, Karen and I would really appreciate it if you chose someone unlucky."

The thirty or forty employees talked among themselves and after about ten minutes had elected a thin man with a receding hairline.

"Ah, damn, you had to go pick Dan. Dan, how many times have you beaten the system?"

"Eight, Mr. Grimes."

"How many times has the system beaten you?"

"Never, Mr. Grimes."

"Damn… well, alright, point to an envelope, same locations as always, arms, legs, body."

"That's easy Mr. Grimes, she has it all, so the body."

Harry smiled, "You're right, she does have it all" and he pulled the envelope from her front.

"Today's semi-whenever, just cause we love each and every one of you hardworking galley slaves, bonus du jour is…"

The breakroom was roaring as it seemed everyone was beating a drumroll on whatever they could.

He opened the envelope with a flourish, but not so smooth of one that Carol didn't see him slip more money into the envelope.

"Oh Dan, you've wounded our bank account again, twelve hundred dollars!"

The employees cheered, whooped, hollered, whistled; gathered around Dan and gave him hugs and handshakes.

"Oh God, oh, I can't stand it, I'm going to have to get out of here and go moan in peace somewhere, Karen will give you your bonuses but before I go, let's check the other envelopes."

One held three hundred, one four fifty, one six hundred, one nine.

"My first day back, so to speak, and you thirty-three vultures pick our bones for twelve hundred apiece. Oh, I may be sick."

And grinning madly, Harry headed for the door.

* * * * *

"Harry, do they ever get the lowest amount?"

"Huh?"

"I saw your sleight-of-hand."

"Oh… well, never the lowest, but sometimes the second lowest, most often the second highest, with Dan always one of the two highest."

"Why?"

"He's not real socially adept and now he's sort of a good luck charm. It's helped him fit in. Really a nice guy once you get to know him."

"How'd they pick him in the first place?"

"They didn't. We reserve the right to choose the volunteer when we so choose. We just don't do it very often."

"Have I told you lately that I love you?"

"With every touch."

* * * * *

"Sir, before we decide on a bidet or hot tub, we need to see Antoinette."

"Who's Antoinette?"

"Well, originally she was the person in the 'underground' to see for anything involving water sports, medical play, catheters, enemas; but then she realized that there was a market in custom bathroom equipment and such, ostensibly for the 'serious fetishist' but in reality, just some fantastic equipment and very reasonably priced for custom work."

"Uh huh… is there anything about Antoinette you think you should warn me about?"

"Well, she is a bit of an exhibitionist and a bit of a voyeur."

"How much is a bit?"

"She'll expect us to try out our selections."

"You mean sit on the bidet?"

"No sir, I mean use it. And she'll probably demonstrate it for us as well."

* * * * *

In a semi-abandoned industrial park on the east side of town, they rolled up to Antoinette's. The warehouse looked much like any other, it's only distinguishing characteristic the yellow neon "A" perched on a neon toilet. As the display was only about five feet high and not visible from the street, it would be hard to find unless you knew what you were looking for.

They parked behind some trucks that screened their car from view.

Entering through a non-descript door they found themselves in a mass of piping, all hissing and gurgling and churning and flushing.

"Jesus Christ! What's in all of them?"

"I asked her that once. She told me it's really just all for show. It creates the ambiance that some of her more extreme customers enjoy. If you're into bodily functions, I could see how this place could turn you on."

They saw a young man in a vinyl set of doctor's scrubs approaching.

"Yes," Carol said, "Mr. Grimes and pet, we called ahead."

"Right this way, Antoinette is expecting you."

He led them through the burbling and pumping industrial nightmare to the showroom, which seemed to be in the heart of the building.

Antoinette was a very tall, statuesque, platinum blonde, perhaps 6'3". It was obvious to look at her that she had had extensive cosmetic surgery done to augment… everything. Her cartoonish physique was crammed into a vinyl nurses outfit. She extended her hand.

"Mr. Grimes, how lovely to make your acquaintance."

Harry used skills honed by years in the ad business to show no reaction to her appearance except pleasure, took her hand and kissed it.

"Antoinette, your beauty, your radiance; the pleasure is all mine, I assure you."

"Mr. Grimes, how sweet of you to say so. How may I help you today?"

"First, a bidet. My pet tells me you have contacts with a craftsman who does custom work of the highest quality."

"And she'd be correct. Come this way."

She walked a few steps over, sat down on a commode and began to urinate. After a brief time, she shook herself slightly, and then stood up, walked over to what appeared to be a transparent toilet and, grabbing a set of hand rails attached to a low pipe, straddled the seat. She reached down to a control panel and a spray of water began to rinse her crotch.

"Mr. Grimes, have you ever used a bidet? Marvelous tool for cleanliness no matter your sex. Refreshing, cleansing, invigorating. I swear to you sir, there are days I could happily spend all my time atop this heaven-sent device. And this, a custom unit loosely modeled on the Daelim Dobidos Electronic, is absolutely the top of the line. Multiple spray heads, all self cleaning. Easily adjustable temperature control, just the thing for disciplining recalcitrant young girls, adjustable spray force, but with a maximum pressure well within safety guidelines, no chance of accidents, heated seat comes standard, warm air drying system, comfortable seating options, including backrests. I know the craftsman personally and believe me, no matter how extreme or unusual your request could possibly be, he could craft just the bidet for you."

"Knowing some of her clientele I don't want to think how extreme some of the requests have been," Carol murmured under the gurgling of a nearby pipe.

"Now Mr. Grimes, I insist you try it for yourself or I shall be very cross with you. Indeed I might refuse to do business with you altogether."

"Heaven forfend, Antoinette."

He took a deep breath, took off his loafers and socks, shucked his pants and boxers, took the requisite piss and then mounted the bidet like he was getting on a Harley.

"You should try numbers two, three and four, Mr. Grimes."

Harry hit '2'. A warm spray of water oscillated around his cock. It felt quite good. Then he hit '3'. Three warmer sprays of water fanned back and forth across his asshole. As he was still a little tender from the day before, he found that delightful. After hitting '4', both the previous were going at once. It felt wonderful… and stimulating… Harry realized he was getting a hard-on in a transparent bowl. He punched '4' again quickly.

Antoinette was smiling at him indulgently. "Exactly the effect it's supposed to have Mr. Grimes. Nothing in the world is better than getting clean in preparation for getting messy again immediately thereafter. Now hit 'dry'."

He did so and warm air caressed him from front to back. It was decadent, it was hedonistic and he was going to get one. Two was not out of the realm of possibility as it was a two-woman house.

"Alright Antoinette," he said as he got up and began to get dressed, "I'm sold. Now on to the hot tubs."

"Mr. Grimes, if you're going to be looking at hot tubs, why are you dressing?"

He saw her point.

They walked even further into the bowels of the building.

They approached possibly the most incongruous sight Harry had seen in a long time. In the midst of the warehouse's industrial gastrointestinal ambiance was a hot tub showroom, complete with lattice fencing behind the models covered in plastic flowering plants.

"Mr. Grimes, I can tell that you're a man of quality, a man of distinction, a man with impeccable tastes and for such a man as you, I wouldn't offer anything less than our very best."

She led them over to a huge hot tub that looked large enough to hold twenty comfortably.

"Mr. Grimes, I present to you the most advanced hot tub of all time. Sir, this tub has over 200 individually programmable water jets, computer controlled, voice activated, flow modulated, temperature regulated. All of the jets nozzles are recessed and when they're not in action you hardly know they're there, especially sir, if some other jet is distracting you with its gentle soothing ministrations."

"Mr. Grimes, I insist you and your companion try it. I will of course leave you to yourselves, although you won't be able to fully experience the programmability, I will leave you with a list of code words that activate some of our set ups. I tell you Mr. Grimes, I have the hardest time keeping the staff out of that tub. Why, you can have at least eight women in there, all at once, all of them with their vaginas, rectums and both breasts being stimulated by separate water jets as they sit in comfort. It might take awhile to set up, but trust the girls and me, it was worth every second. And because of the variability of the jet flows, you can program it to caress your penis as gently as that sweet young thing, and do so for as long as you wish. I assure you sir, this is not just a hot tub, this is the greatest gift to relaxation ever created."

"Antoinette, we will not try it unless you consent to get in with us. What kind of a saleswoman leaves without demonstrating all that the product is capable of?"

"A good point indeed, Mr. Grimes."

A short time later, the three of them were in the tub. Antoinette had positioned Carol in a sweet spot so she was receiving full stimulation from four jets at once.

"Oh God… sir… she's going… to love… this."

She had also put Harry where a highly aerated jet of water was gently massaging the underside of his cock. She sat next to him, a little too close for Harry's comfort. But, having become more open-minded and tolerant in the past several days, he put his head back and relaxed.

He wondered at the psychology behind a woman making herself into a Barbie doll nightmare. She reminded him of someone, some comic strip character, ah, he remembered, 'Little Annie Fanny' from 'Playboy'. It was really kind of sad.

"So Mr. Grimes, what do you think?"

A hand grasped his cock and started to sinuously jerk him off.

"I think that feels… interesting." He cut his eyes over to Carol quickly. She was watching out of the corner of her eye and shook her head slightly.

"Sometimes Mr. Grimes you have to create a personal connection with a client to close a deal, don't you think?"

"Indeed, sometimes you do."

She got up from her seat and came around in front of him.

"So Mr. Grimes, how personal a connection would you like to forge?"

"Antoinette, you're a lovely, exotic and almost irresistible woman but I must remain true to my partner-"

"Surely you don't mean her," Antoinette said, looking at Carol.

"-no, not my pet, my partner. She, alas, could not be with us this evening. But I certainly have no problems with forging as firm a connection with you as you've begun to forge with me."

Antoinette returned to where she'd been sitting in the tub, hand still caressing his cock.

"Why no, Mr. Grimes, that won't be necessary. You're faithful to your partner? How perfectly enchanting! I hope she realizes what a lucky woman she is."

"You flatter me. I know better. I know that the luck is all mine."

He sat back as she continued to fondle him. He wondered if even in Madame Cornelius' wide sexual spectrum there was someone who could love what this woman had turned herself into. Not lust after her, he was sure there were fetishists and freaks aplenty who wanted to use her, but would any of them look past her erotic grotesquerie? He hoped so. He got the feeling she was a very lonely person.

Between the water jet and Antoinette's skills, he was on the edge of orgasm. He turned to look at her.

"I… wouldn't want… to make… a mess."

"Don't worry Mr. Grimes, hardly the first, won't be the last."

His head sank back and as he relaxed he felt his tension release and his spasms began as a set of lips wrapped themselves around the tip of his cock and he didn't care that Antoinette was stepping over the line because it felt so good and then he was finishing and the warm mouth was sucking out every last drop and letting loose his dick.

He opened his eyes to see Carol surface from his lap. She smiled.

"No need to make a mess if we could avoid one."

He hugged her to him and in a burst of affection hugged Antoinette's arm as well since he was reasonably sure he couldn't get his arms around her chest.

"Alright Antoinette, you've helped me spend a lot of money today. Let's go talk about options on the bidet."