Out Of My Mind

“Hey. How are you?” Buffy hurries over to hug Joyce.

“Oh… embarrassed, mostly. I’m sorry to put you through this. But, no more tests, so you can take this pincushion home.”

“Yes.” Michael came forward. “Let’s, uh, get outta here.”

He held the door for Joyce and Dawn. Buffy gave him a concerned look, then exited as well. Michael followed.

Joyce was lying on the sofa, sipping from a mug, with Buffy and Dawn sitting by her. Willow stood beside the sofa.

“What about a crossword? Some people say feed a cold, I say puzzle it.” Willow said.

“Oh, no thanks, Willow.”

“I like chicken fingers with mustard when I’m sick.” Dawn said.

Joyce put her mug on the coffee table, “I know you do, sweetie. I can make us some later.”

“Oh, uh-uh. You are sitting right here on this couch today.”

“I feel silly lying here like a lump!”

“You could make a game out of it. A-a very quiet game, about being a lump.” Willow said.

“I feel fine. Honestly, I’m more concerned about Michael than I am about me.”

“You shouldn’t even be thinking about that. He’s not worried, so I don’t think we should be.” Buffy said.

Buffy was pacing in her room. Willow lay on the bed while

Dawn sat on the floor, leaning against the bed.

“I don’t get what he’s thinking.” Buffy stepped over Dawn as she paced around the bed. “Why isn’t he worried?”

“Maybe he thinks his body can handle it. He is in really good shape.” Willow said.

“Nobody’s body can handle a heart attack.” Buffy stepped over Dawn to pace the other way again.

“I know. I’m sorry, Buffy. I’m trying too hard to make it okay.”

Buffy sighed, “I just keep coming back to magic, he used to be in that Luna Cult. I mean what if he found some spell that like made him strong or something.”

Dawn watched her pace back and forth.

“Well, there are spells like that, but Buffy, I’ve never heard of one making someone’s heart go haywire.” Willow said.

“But what if Michael wasn’t ready for it? What if it worked too well…”

“Buffy, if you think this has something to do with magic, and the Lunar Cult then maybe you should go talk to Kaz.”

“I gotta go. Uh, see you guys later.” Buffy grabbed her bag and left.

Buffy entered Michael’s room. There was a punching bag hanging from the ceiling. It was dark.

“Michael?” Buffy called.

No one was there. Buffy walked in, closing the door behind her.

Buffy began searching Michael’s room, looking for something that might indicate that he’d been doing magic to make him strong, after several minutes of searching she found a magic book and some magic supplies. Buffy put the stuff on the bed and was about to start looking in the book when the door opened. Buffy looked up startled and saw Kaz come into the room.

Buffy crossed the room quickly and slammed Kaz against the wall.

“Ow, Buffy, what…”

“Magic.”

“What?”

“What magic did you do in the Luna Cult?”

“We only did levitation, summoning the four elements, glamours, hexes, curses and stuff like that.”

Buffy shook Kaz.

“There’s more.”

“Ow! No, that’s all.”

“WHAT ELSE.” Buffy slammed Kaz against the wall again.

“Uh, I think I’m gonna boot.”

“Kaz!”

“I swear that’s all we did. Will you let go of me now?”

Buffy reluctantly let go of Kaz.

“Something’s wrong with Michael.” Buffy said.

“What?”

“I don’t know. He has had a lot more strength and stamina lately, and when we were at the hospital Dawn kinda discovered a pulse rate of a hundred and fifty.”

Kaz raised her eyebrows, “And you think this has something to do with the magic we did in the Luna Cult?”

“I-I don’t know. I just found this spell book.” Buffy picked up the book. “Do you think there’s a spell in here that could increase his strength?”

“Possibly, but… I’ve not seen that book before.”

Kaz took the book and began to flick through it. After several minutes of searching she stopped on a page and read more thoroughly.

“Here this spell matches Michael’s ‘symptoms.’ Damn it.”

“What?”

“It’s an advanced spell, it may be too advanced for Michael, that could explain the heart rate. Shit, I thought Michael would have more sense than that.”

“Can you help him?”

“I don’t know this kind of magic.”

“You have to help him.” Buffy was getting very agitated.

“However, I do know of a guy who’s still part of the Luna Cult, he might be able to help.”

Michael was playing basketball with a bunch of his friends. They were all yelling. Michael was clearly playing very well. His friends shook their heads as the game ended.

“No way, man.” Twigs said.

“I’m out.” Michael said.

He threw the ball to Twigs. He was very sweaty. He turned and walked off.

Michael walked past a bench where a girl was sitting. He glanced at the girl, then away.

“Kaz.” Michael said and kept walking.

“Michael.” Kaz was sitting on the bench, talking over her shoulder. “Can we talk?”

Michael bent over a water fountain and drank. Kaz got up.

Michael walked toward Kaz.

“So talk.” Michael said.

“What’s goin’ on, man?” Michael shrugged. “You gotta get this taken care of immediately. We gotta get you into a warlock.

“Very convincing Kaz.”

Kaz stared Michael down.

“Michael, I’m tellin’ you, you need help.”

Michael shook his head, “I’m fine. Never felt better.”

“You don’t want this.”

“You’re sure you got the fix for it?” Michael said, “If I want it?”

“Yeah. I know a guy, still on the inside of the Luna Cult. He’s gonna take care of you, and we’re going to him now.” Kaz said and Michael nodded. “I’m not givin’ you a choice.”

“I guess you’re not.”

Suddenly Michael punched Kaz in the face and ran off.

Buffy was talking to Kaz amid a crowd of students in the middle of a UC Sunnydale building. Kaz’s face was bruised.

“So you messed up and now he’s gone and when are you even gonna tell me what’s exactly is wrong with him?”

“He did this spell called Vires Amplificare, basically it means is he was way stronger than he oughta be and feeling no pain. His heart can’t take it.”

Buffy sighed.

“The warlock’s waiting at Sunnydale General, fourth floor neurology. Get Michael there. If you don’t…”

“I’ll get him there.”

Kaz nodded, “I’ll tell the warlock.”

Buffy turned to walk off. Kaz watched her go.

“Buffy.”

She turned back.

“If you tell me to hurry… I’ll kick your ass.”

Buffy walked off as Kaz watched.

That evening Michael walked through the Sunnydale woods, approaching the entrance to a cave and entered it.

In the magic shop Willow and Tara were sitting at the round table Giles stood behind them.

“Poor Michael.” Willow said.

“Could he have simply gone back to his apartment?” Giles walked toward them, Buffy was standing beside the table. Xander and Anya were sitting across from Willow and Tara.

“No, he’s not at his apartment, he’s not at the gym, he’s not at the library… he’s gone somewhere where he doesn’t wanna be found.”

“So basically he’s gone AWOL.” Anya said.

“Basically exactly.” Buffy said.

“Poor Buffy.” Willow said.

“Maybe he just needs some time alone. Like, I had this friend once, who really liked this girl, and… he got all worried that maybe she didn’t like him back…” Xander said, Buffy and Giles look confused, “and maybe that made him act like a total jerk. Maybe Michael reminds me of that friend.”

Anya smiled.

“What are you talking about?” Willow asked.

“Then again, maybe not. Maybe he just wants attention.”

“Well, here’s a hot tip, if you want attention? Be there so people can give it to you.”

Softly, Anya said, “I care about you, Xander.”

Xander smiled confusedly, “Thanks.”

“Don’t be insecure.” Anya said smiling.

Xander shrugged, and shook his head, “Thanks… I won’t.”

“And, I also have this ‘friend’” Anya said making air-quotes, “and, uh, I have it on really good authority that she really likes that guy, your ‘friend’” air-quotes, “… and, by the by, my friend…”

“You guys, enough!” Buffy said.

Anya and Xander look embarrassed.

“Okay, Michael is in real danger here.” Buffy sighed. “Anya, Xander, why don’t you guys check the docks.”

Anya and Xander nodded.

“Aye aye.” Xander said as a kinda joke.

They got up and left.

“Tara and I can scope out the burned-out school. Michael hid there once. Maybe he… feels it’s homey or something.” Willow said.

Thoughtfully, Buffy said, “Homey. You know what else he might find homey in a… dank, unpleasant evil sort of way?” Giles sat in Xander’s vacated seat. “The Luna Cult caves.”

Giles looked confused, “The Luna Cult caves?”

“They did magic there… I don’t know them too well.”

Sipping his tea, Giles said, “We do have an associate who knows those caves like the back of his… melanin-deprived hand.”

Buffy sighed, “I so don’t want to deal with Spike right now. That guy is really starting to bug me in that special ‘I wanna shove something wooden through his heart’ kinda way.”

“He does seem extra twitchy lately. Maybe the whole not killing is gettin’ to him.” Willow said.

“Plus hanging out all day in that mouldy crypt, you just know he’s doing something nasty.”

Spike sat with Harmony in his crypt.

“Okay, is it bigger than a breadbox?” Spike asked.

Smiling, Harmony said, “No. Four left.”

“So it’s smaller than a breadbox.” Spike said.

Giggling, Harmony said, “No! Only three!”

Quietly annoyed Spike said, “Harmony… is it a sodding breadbox?”

Harmony clapped and laughed, “Yes! Oh my god! Someone’s blondie bear is a twenty-question genius!”

Suddenly there was a loud banging on the door. Harmony stopped laughing and looked scared.

“She’s found me!”

She jumped up and ran over to a coffin, and climbed into it. Spike followed and slid the lid onto the coffin, and then he sat on top of it trying to look casual.

Buffy busted the door open and strode in.

“I’ve got a proposition for you.” Buffy said.

Jumping off the coffin, Spike said, “Funny, I’ve got a proposition for you, what about knocking?”

Buffy ignored him, pulled out a wad of cash and unfolded it.

“Seems only fair since we vamps can’t enter your flat without an invite, you could at least… say, look at those pretty pieces of paper.”

“Michael’s sick with some magic thing and he’s missing. I think he might be in the Luna Cult caves. You find him, bring him to the fourth floor of the hospital, the warlock gets to him in time…” Buffy held up the money, “…you get the cash.”

“Oh, dear, is that androgynite sick? Tell me, is he gonna die?”

Buffy slapped him across the face.

“He is not the only person that can die.”

“Hey. I’m just saying, if it’s really that important to you, I think I’ll get half now.”

Buffy looked at the money in her hand. She ripped the bills in half, slammed one half against Spike’s chest, and strode out.

Spike watched her go, then looks down at the half-bills in his hand.

Harmony pushed the coffin lid aside and peeked out.

“So? What’d she say about me?”

In a hospital corridor the double-doors opened and Kaz walked through, she walked down the hallway, past a security guard who nodded at her. Kaz went through another set of double-doors and enters a lab. The warlock Otega was there.

“Any word?” Otega asked.

“They’ll be here any minute.” Kaz said.

Otega looked at a book in his hand.

“That’s soon enough, right? I mean, if we bring him in now?” Kaz asked.

“I’ll be honest. I’m not sure it’s soon enough if you brought him in yesterday.”

There was a knock on the door, Kaz turned.

“Finally.”

She opened the door to see the security guard apparently standing there. Then the guard jerked forward, his head hitting Kaz’s. Kaz fell back and the guard fell on top of her, Harmony walked in behind the dead guard. Otega looked up in alarm. Spike followed Harmony in, carrying a crossbow. He tossed it to Harmony, who caught it and pointed it at the warlock, letting the tip of the arrow touch his cheek.

“You got yourself a new patient.” Spike said.

Buffy walked into the woods, holding a flashlight. It was dark. She found the cave entrance that Michael used earlier, and walked in.

The door to a college building room, with several tiers of chairs, opened. Spike entered, followed by Otega and then Harmony with the crossbow.

“Look, you don’t understand. This is a complicated neurological procedure and I’ve never performed it before. I do healing spells, it’s too advanced for me to reverse.”

They walked down the steps, past rows of seats, into a surgical theatre.

“Little performance anxiety, eh?” Spike asked as he took off his jacket, sat on the operating table. “Butterflies in the old belly? Harm, do us a favour. Shoot the nasty butterflies for the good warlock.”

Otega looked from Harmony to Spike and moved toward the operating table.

“There you go. It’s not so complicated. Just do whatever those warlock monkeys did, only backwards.”

Harmony sat on a nearby counter.

“This is a medical school, not a proper operating facility, these instruments…” Otega gestured at the tray of instruments.

Spike sighed, “They look pointy enough. They’ll do.”

He lay back on the table with his hands behind his head.

“You’re not listening. That chip is deeply imbedded in your cerebral cortex. Removing it could leave you a vegetable.”

“That’s not gonna happen, mate. Besides I’m sure you could remove it with magic… if you really wanted. See, I have faith in your survival instinct.”

He looked significantly over at Harmony. Otega looked too. Harmony smiled and lifted the crossbow.

Spike smiled, “Yeah. You’ll have me up and killing before the night’s over.”

Otega looked apprehensive. Spike continued to grin.

“Come on!” Spike nudged the doctor with his foot. “You’ll do me right. Nothing bad’ll happen to you.”

Suddenly an arrow flew across the room, narrowly missing the warlock, and lodging in the wall opposite. Spike and Otega looked at it, startled, then looked over at Harmony.

“Oops.” She grinned apologetically. “String was slippy.”

“Michael!” Willow called.

Willow and Tara walking through the rubble of the burned-out old Sunnydale High School building.

“This place kinda creeps me out.” Tara said.

“You shoulda been here when it was a school.” Then she called. “Michael!”

They walked on, very slowly, looking nervous.

“Oof. Darkness.” Willow said.

“Piles of it. We shoulda brought a flashlight.” Tara said.

“Ooh! I know!” Willow reached into her bag. “Better to light a candle than curse the damn darkness.” She smiled and pulled a small bottle out of her bag. “A little spell.” Willow showed it to Tara. “Fiat lux!”

Willow threw the bottle at the ground. There was a big burst of flame and then the entire area was lit with a soft diffuse light.

“Wow!” Tara exclaimed

“There, that’s better.”

Tara stared at her in amazement.

Calling, Willow said, “Michael! Come on out!”

She began to walk again. Tara followed, still staring.

“How’d you do that? With the light?”

“Oh, you know. You taught me.”

“I taught you teeny Tinkerbell light.”

“Okay, so I… tinkered with the Tinkerbell. It was easy. And besides, isn’t this better than… using a flashlight like some kind of doofus?”

Buffy was walking through the caves, with a flashlight, calling out.

“Michael? Michael, answer me.” She muttered softly. “Please.”

Buffy walked on, she looked at the rocks, with vines growing on them. Buffy heard a repetitive knocking noise.

“Michael?”

Buffy rounded a corner and found Michael punching the rock wall. There was a large cavity in the wall where he had clearly been punching for some time. He was shiny with sweat and looked tired.

Without looking at Buffy, he said, “You know, this doesn’t even hurt.”

“Your hand is bleeding.”

Michael looked at her, “Don’t feel a thing.”

He moved to punch the wall again but Buffy stopped him.

Buffy said, “This stops now. I’m taking you to the warlock.”

“I don’t trust him.” Michael backed away.

Buffy moved toward him, “He’s the only one that understands what’s wrong with you. He’s the only one that can help.”

“What’s wrong with me? I’m more powerful than I’ve ever been, Buffy. Most people would kill to feel this way.”

“Yeah, and this feeling is going to kill you. Michael, your body was not built for this kind of strength…”

“I can handle it. This is my deal, Buffy, just… back off.”

Michael walked past Buffy. She turned to watch him.

“What is this?” Buffy asked.

Michael stopped walking, and turned back to her.

“What’s happening to you?”

“I go back… let this warlock get whimsical with my innards… He could do anything that… Best-case scenario, they turn me into Joe Normal, just…” Michael sighed. “Just another guy.”

“And that’s not enough for you?” Buffy asked.

“It’s not enough for you.”

“Why would you say that?”

“Come on. Your last boyfriend wasn’t exactly a civilian.”

“So that’s what this is about? You’re going to die, all over some macho pissing contest.”

Michael shook his head, “It’s not about him. It’s about us.”

Buffy shook her head, not understanding.

“You’re getting stronger every day, more powerful. I can’t touch you. Every day, you’re just… a little further out of my reach.”

“You wanna touch me?” Buffy walked toward him. “I’m right here. I’m not the one running away.”

“Not yet.”

“So you have this all figured out? I’m bailing because you’re not in the super club.”

Michael shrugged, “It’s human nature.”

Buffy spoke angrily, “Don’t Psych 101 me.”

Michael looked away

“Not now. Not after everything that… Nobody has ever known me the way you do. Nobody.”

Michael didn’t look at her.

“I’ve opened up to you in ways that I’ve never opened up to… God, you’re just sitting back there thinking that none of this means anything to me.”

Still not looking at her Michael said, “I never said that.”

Teary-eyed, Buffy said, “Because it obviously doesn’t mean anything to you. Do you really think so little of me…”

“Buffy.”

“No! No. Do you think that I spent the last year with you because you had super powers? If that’s what I wanted, then I’d be dating Spike.” Quietly, Buffy said. “Michael, I need you.”

He looked at her, he looked apprehensive.

“I need you with me… and I need you healthy. But if you wanna throw it all away because you don’t trust me, then…” more firmly, “…then I’m still gonna make you go to that warlock.”

Michael looked at her, then looked away. He sighed.

“Take me to him.”

Buffy nodded.

“We have to hurry.”

She strode past him, but he grabbed her arm and turned her to face him.

“Loving you is the scariest thing I’ve ever done, Buffy.”

“I don’t know why. With your lifestyle that’s hard to imagine.”

She gave a small smile and put her hand over his heart.

“The warlock said we didn’t have much time.”

They walked off.

Spike lay on the operating table. A sheet lay vertically over the top of his head, and his eyes were closed. The warlock was wearing rubber gloves, working on Spike’s head. Harmony walked behind Otega.

“I read in a magazine that some women think a man’s real sex organ is his brain.”

She lent next to the warlock and looked at Spikes brain.

“Yecch! No contest. I mean, look at it. It’s so… grey and wriggly-looking.” She grinned suddenly. “Can I touch it?”

Spike’s eyes snapped open.

“No!” Spike and Otega said in unison.

Looking over at Spike’s face, Harmony said, “Oh my God, you’re awake?”

“Local anaesthetic.” Otega said.

“Wow, Spikey, how does it feel?”

“Like someone’s cutting into my brain with a knife, you silly bint.”

Harmony looked back at Spike’s brain.

To the doctor Harmony said, “You know what it means that he can’t hurt any living thing? It means he can’t even pick flowers.”