Paddlin' Madelyne Home Ch. 02

Ummm, Mr. Edwards, Sir… you realize of course Sir, that Madelyne and I are not technically in any sort of 'relationship', and that I doubt very much that she considers me to be her 'boyfriend', and that we are absolutely not lovers."

He chuckled. "Well, perhaps… but this is just a part of some other related issues that I would very much like to discuss with you. If necessary then, would you accept this invitation as a 'big personal favor' in returned the consideration from when you invited Madelyne to your own family's Thanksgiving?"

Faced with that I knew I was fucked. How could I refuse? My head was begging "No", but my stupid sense of duty overrode my mouth and I said "Yes". Very and obviously reluctantly.

A few minutes later his secretary send sent a couple of faxes to me, one with driving directions to the ranch and a confirmation that I was expected to arrive mid-afternoon of Thursday the 23rd. Another fax followed with a listing of suggested 'small but suitable token gifts' for each family member that was expected for be there for Christmas.

Most of the suggested items were indeed inexpensive and easily obtained that afternoon and evening, even with all of the late Christmas season shopping rush. The notation for a gift for Mr. Edwards himself was a bit confusing to me at first, it said simply 'model train stuff (HO scale)'. I knew nothing about model trains, but I thought I knew of a shop in the Rice University Village shopping area that carried those, so that became my final stop.

The shop owner knew of Mr. Edwards (who was apparently a very good customer) and his tastes and picked out a 'scarce vintage item that had just come in' that he knew he would love. I wrapped my purchases on Wednesday and packed an overnight bag with a couple of day's worth of clothes and was all set to go to the ranch.

***********

I thought I would dread the trip up there, as I knew I was going to be the anointed sacrificial lamb, but instead I just seemed to get more excited the closer I got to the ranch. The weather was good for the season, crisp and cool, but clear.

It was great weather to be out on a ranch, and it had been nearly eight years since Mom had sold the family ranch after Dads death. It was way too much for her to keep up with after his death and after I signed my professional football contract and left home for good she sold it for a good price and bought her small house in Houston (she always had been a city girl at heart anyway).

I missed the smells and the animals, and most of all missed riding on a horse. Maybe that was something that I could share with Madelyne, or better yet Maddie.

Everyone was glad to see me arrive at the ranch, and I was flooded with a group of strange names and faces that I could barely keep track of. There were two 'Mr. Edwards', Nathan and his slightly younger brother Isaac. Both brothers were married to a pair of identical twins named Erma and Etta, naturally both wore identical clothes and had identical hair and accessories and I never had a prayer of ever telling them apart.

I asked Madelyne's youngest teenaged cousin, Diana, how the brothers could tell their wives apart - it could make for an embarrassing moment if giving a pinch from behind. She just laughed and laughed until I thought she was going to entirely lose bladder control, and she said "You really don't want to know".

I think I got the idea then, that the twins sleeping arrangements with the brothers might be just a bit 'flexible'. Diana was right... I really didn't want to know.

Madelyne, who hadn't yet made an appearance to greet me, was Nathan and Erma's only surviving child. Isaac and Etta had three children, Phyllis (about twenty-four and married to a rising young petroleum engineer), Randolph (twenty, was going to my alma mater A&M and was studying his passion Ranch Management), and the charmingly young Diana (eighteen and just starting UT and seemed to be majoring in 'Boys'). Her cell phone went off every ten minutes all day long and her list of 'boyfriends and girlfriends' seemed to be endless. She had been recently accepted at the number #1 "party sorority" on campus Sigma Lamda Tau (aka "Slut House" according to a joke made by Randolph). That pretty much comprised the entire horde.

They were a noisy salubrious bunch and I must say they were all a lot of fun, and I was just settling in when I received the word that my "presence was requested at the Roundhouse", wherever that was. Diana was glad to take me to her 'Uncles shed' where he kept all of his toy trains.

The word 'shed' implies a not very large, or sturdy for that matter, structure. This shed was huge; I think I've seen smaller airplane hangers. It was like a giant round greenhouse with multiple huge tables filled with faux miniature cities, forests, mountains, rivers and of course trains, with miles and miles of track. Men never outgrow their toys, they just get more expensive!

I found Nathan working on a section of track in a part of a rural city that looked like a cattle stockyard. Indeed, he was hard at work repainting a collection of plastic cows that didn't quite look 'life-like' enough to suit him.

"I'm glad you came." He said simply and offered me his hand, and then handed me a paintbrush and another bag of cows that needed painting. We did get a lot of cows painted and when they were dry he placeed them into the rail cattle cars and into the fenced holding area of the small scaled stockyard. We also got a lot of direct 'man talk' done where nothing got sugar coated in the slightest.

"What exactly is your relationship with Madelyne right now, you think?" He asked after awhile.

"As far as I know we have no relationship, and just thinking about it makes my head hurt." I replied. "I think I love her, but then again I think I also want to kill her. Maybe I would just love to kill her instead, and just save time. She would be absolutely impossible to live with… you ought to be aware of that. Why do you want me for a son-in-law anyway."

He shrugged. "You knew the job was dangerous when you took it, and I think I know a good bit about you. Maddie's not the only Edwards around here with private investigators on speed dial. I've talked to a few folks who remembered your Pa up near Lampasas, and they all remembered him well. 'A man of his word' everyone said. If you're from that same tree he sprung from, a man could hardly possibly do better for any prospective son-in-law. You know she's got a good bit of her own money, and through her you'd someday be running my entire company… but frankly none of that is of any importance to you. I don't even think I've got enough money to bribe you to marry her, if you really don't want to. You are very much your own man, and maybe the only man strong enough to manage her."

He continued. "You've been with her for three months now and haven't attempted to kill her just yet, or even yourself. That shows that you have either the patience of a saint, or you just aren't too bright - you are a Texas A&M 'Aggie' Engineer after all. For purposes of argument, I'll assume the former for now. You've also remained on speaking terms with her about three times longer now than any other previous man she's ever been around, and that includes most of her co-workers at work. If you find that you need to hide her bludgeoned body suddenly, they would be the first persons I would call on for help. You're also the first 'boyfriend' that she has ever requested a separate bedroom for. That's probably the single best indication that she actually does intend on behaving this holiday and she might even be trying to straighten herself out. That means she does care about you… a lot… and she's actually trying not to do her usual act to fuck things up too badly. Cut her some extra slack for that alone."

I described our 'working relationship" and the events of the last three months, and gave him a very frank account of the events since the Christmas Party. Then for good measure, I also pulled out my Date Book and read off a few of the sample entries of her recent behavior.

"Hmmmm, worse than I thought, and much worse than her Mother has told me. Figures." He said with a grunt and then resumed his work in silence until we were called for dinner a few minutes later.

"Just try and enjoy the weekend. She should be back from town by now - I sent her off to run some errands for me to keep her out of our hair long enough for us to have this little chat. Tomorrow, you're on your own. Her Mother says she'll be on her best behavior, but that just means we don't actually have to hide all of the kitchen knives. Oh, and stop calling me Mr. Edwards, or even Sir... 'Nathan' will do just fine... unless you're ready to call me Dad."

With those joyous portents for my happy near future, we went in for dinner. Madelyne seemed very happy to see me and greeted me at the door to the house with kiss on each cheek and a light one on my lips as she escorted me to the dinner table. She sat next to me all through dinner and to everyone's delight, behaved, although she didn't eat much and seemed as nervous as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

Everyone seemed to melt away right after dinner, supposedly to give Madelyne and myself some privacy, but we didn't take much advantage of it. She kept trying to sort of apologize for her meltdown last Saturday, but she could never quite get herself to admit that she had made a complete and total ass of herself, or that she had been particularly in the wrong right from the start. She did regret however, the 'inconvenience' she had caused me. Well I guess that was a start, but frankly I had hoped for a bit more.

Saying 'goodnight' became very awkward. We kissed goodnight downstairs and again upstairs at her bedroom door. She changed into her nightclothes and put on her robe and came into my room (nearly instantly after a very brief knock) and sat down on my bed and started to try and more conversation. We talked a bit about nothing and then she wanted to be held close, which I did for a long time until she fell fast asleep on top of my bed. I debated going to sleep in her bed, but decided against it and instead curled up for the night with a blanket on the big leather sofa downstairs.

I didn't sleep especially well and started off the day just a tad grumpy. Too bad, this not-quite saint needed all the patience he could get, and by early afternoon I was plumb out of it.

Breakfast started off fairly bad with Madelyne making our 'plans for the day' without ever asking my opinion or pausing for breath long enough to ever let me get a word in edgewise. She also kept making little insinuating comments all throughout the meal about how much she enjoyed 'sleeping in my bed' and 'what fun it was', to which I would sardonically tell the others, "True, but too bad I wasn't in it at the same time."

She then took me on an extended tour of the ranch and talked about everything as if I was a city slicker who had never even seen manure before. I politely reminded her at least a dozen times that I had grown up on a small working ranch in Central Texas, but she would never listen.

When the tour came to a small lake in the river on the edge of their property, she slyly suggested that we could 'take a little swim and have some fun' but I wasn't really feeling amorous at that moment, which was definitely her intention. I fended her off with a 'maybe later after lunch' and that seemed to satisfy her for now.

'Madelyne the Bitch' stayed with us all throughout lunch.

"Maddie, why don't you both take some horse out for a ride this afternoon?" Her mother hopefully suggested, with an edge to her voice that suggested that this was closer to an order.

"Oh no!" Madelyne replied. "Harry probably wouldn't enjoy that at all… being from the city and all. Besides, they might not like ex-football players and he might be too rough on them anyway."

"Actually," I snapped as I glared at her, "I'd love an afternoon ride! I used to have my own horse, Roamer, on my father's ranch and the worst thing about school football practice was it meant that I had less time to ride him."

Madelyne wasn't paying the slightest bit of attention. "Don't be silly, you wouldn't know how to properly ride a horse and undoubtedly wouldn't enjoy an afternoon's ride anyway".

Both of her parents were visibly cringing. By now I'd had quite enough and I threw my napkin down upon my half-eaten lunch and stood up from the table.

"I'm actually a damned good rider and I'd love to take an afternoon ride with anyone who would appreciate my company."

With that I left the dining room and the room was more or less filled with silence. I could feel everyone glaring daggers at Madelyne and I was certain some fresh hell was about to break out the minute I was gone.

Diana met me on the porch a few minutes later to show me the horses and help pick out a fun one for me to ride and we left the house together. Diane picked a horse named Star for me and watched me expertly saddle her up.

"My cousin is a complete clueless idiot as well as being an utter bitch!" She remarked to me. "If she decides she doesn't want you, hell I'll definitely take you. You're the nicest guy she's ever brought home, and I'm certain I can fill in some gaps in your sexual education… you certainly won't learn anything from her."

From the stories I heard hinted about Diana's new Sorority, she probably could have taught me quite a number of interesting things, but I'm very much a one woman man. For now I'd stay with the one that brought me to the dance, or rather this family visit, so I nicely turned down her offer… although I did regret it soon afterwards.

I had barely left the stable on Star when Madelyne came running out of the house, yelling for me to wait and that she would join me. Fine, we pulled up and waited for her, but nearly immediately I regretted it. Madelyne was still in full bitch mode and she began to complain incessantly. She wasn't really in the mood for a ride, the weather looked 'iffy', it was going to be too cold and the wind would certainly mess up her hair.

Huh?

"Like taking a swim together in the pond earlier wouldn't have been colder and wouldn't also have messed your hair up even more?" I exclaimed back. "I would like to take a ride! I love riding horses and supposedly so do you. Or are you now just scared that I'll now fall off my horse and kill myself like Tyler did!"

I admit I was shouting at her by this point, but she had stepped on my last nerve, which snapped nearly immediately afterwards.

"You probably will, it's just the sort of inconsiderate thing that you would do just to spite me. I don't know why you came here... you're no fun at all really." With that she rode off, without me.

Diana and I exchanged sad looks and I turned around and lead Star straight back into the barn to unsaddle her. I had really wanted this horse ride but Madelyne's antics had spoiled the mood. My horse seemed confused and I think she had wanted our ride just as much as I had, but I brushed her a little bit, which helped me calm myself down just a tiny little bit. Even a half hour later I was quite mad enough to spit nails.

I couldn't leave without saying goodbye, but couldn't think of any acceptable excuse that I probably couldn't be talked out of, and then I'd just end up staying and being her doormat for the rest of my visit. Besides, I clearly wasn't 'welcome' anymore by my alleged girlfriend. Fortunately, I had one semi-legitimate excuse card I could play and I used it.

I found her mother Erma (at least I think it was her mother, those twin sisters were very identical even at the age of their late 50's), and gave her a very condensed version of our conversation on horseback, and I thanked her for their hospitality but I thought that I should be heading back home. My Mom had slipped in the bath that Wednesday, and she was fine - nothing broken, but I should be helping her out as she was supposed to stay off of her feet for a few days. All very true statements. Mom had indeed fallen, but she was quite ok with nothing broken, and Heather was tending after her, but I thought on the way home I would stop and visit her anyway.

After my goodbye's were said, I was driving out on the ranch road heading to the County road when I saw Madelyne still on horseback trying to ride and catch up with me. A little bit of extra acceleration soon left her behind, and I soon made it to the main road and was doing the speed limit and then some the whole way back into Houston. It was early Christmas Eve now and there was virtually no traffic anywhere.