Porsha Ch. 02a

"No, Jack, I'll pay my own way from now on."

"Porsha, the ticket is non-returnable. Please take it. Let's remain friends, shall we? It's for two people I thought you might want to take someone with you. Sheila perhaps?"

That did it. "There's only one person I would ever want to share a cruise with, Jack, but I had my chance to do that and I blew it."

I snatched the ticket from Jack's hand, and ran out of the room before he had the chance to say anything more. I didn't stop running until I reached my car where Sheila was waiting for me. I had run out so fast, I had forgotten my coat. When she saw me crying again, Sheila looked a little confused and then she went back into the office for my coat. She was gone quite a long time; I assumed that she'd been talking with Jack. At one time I would have been annoyed about that, but that was the old Porsha. I patiently sat and waited. As Sheila drove me home, I asked her if she had told Jack I was thinking of going away for a while.

She thought for a moment before she said, "Of course I did. I even helped Jack pick that cruise for you. I told you, I went on a cruise after my divorce. Jack agreed with me that you would need to get away from everything for a while. He brought the ticket; it's his parting present to you. I think he's trying to tell you that there are no bad feelings."

"There are bad feelings, Sheila. I have bad feelings about myself. I think I hate myself."

"Well, a few weeks at sea will give you a chance to forgive yourself then, won't it?"

"This ticket is for two, Sheila. Will you come with me?" Sheila was obviously taken by surprise.

"I'll see if I can get the time off, Porsha. But that could be tricky at this time of year."

Another two weeks passed and I boarded the liner at Southampton alone. Sheila could not get the time off. I spent most of the day exploring the great ship. My cabin was a stateroom with every modern conveyance. Strangely Jack had booked a double stateroom but it had a gigantic king-size bed. If Jack had thought Sheila was coming with me; why hadn't he booked a cabin with two single beds? The bathroom and Jacuzzi were luxuries like I'd never expected to see on a ship. I sat in the stateroom and realised I couldn't do this. Three months on my own, I just couldn't face it.

Picking up the phone I asked them to call the Central Hotel for me. They put me through on what must have been a satellite phone because, when Sheila came on the line, she sounded quite funny.

"Sheila, I really can't do this! I'm so lonely. Look, isn't there any way you could come with me. The cabin is gigantic, there's only one bed but it is enormous. It wouldn't be the first time we shared a bed. Couldn't you possibly get some time off and come with me? I need you."

"Take it easy, Porsha; I'll see what I can arrange." Sheila appeared to be stalling. Perhaps she was trying to work out a way to get the time off. "But I doubt I could get to Southampton before you sail. But if I can swing it I suppose I could join the ship in Portugal."

"That would be great. Do you think you could possibly swing it?"

"I'll try. Look, I'll call you back later, okay."

"Thanks, Sheila, You're the best friend I've ever had."

"What about Jack? Wasn't he your best friend?"

"Don't remind me, Sheila. You don't know what you got until you've lost it."

Sheila hung up and I went back to my self-pity.

The hours dragged by as I waited for Sheila's call but it didn't come. I felt the ship began to move so I rushed up on deck to watch the band playing and hear everyone cheering.

People were so happy, throwing streamers and waving to friends on the quay. I watched in silence as the gap between the ship and dock slowly increased. For a fleeting moment I saw myself jumping over the rail and into that cold water. But I managed to bring myself back to reality.

As the ship moved out of Southampton docks, I went down to the dining room for my evening meal. A steward met me and I told him I wished to dine alone, he showed me to a small table. Jack had spared no expense; my stateroom was one of the best and my dining room one of the smaller quiet ones. If the ship had been segregated I would have had the equivalent of a first class ticket. Several other people were eating at the same time as me, although some of them smiled and nodded, I wasn't in the mood to socialise. As I neared the end of my meal the steward came over.

"Mrs. Morris, I've just had a message that your guest has come aboard on the pilot boat. They are waiting in your stateroom for you. Would you like me to ask them to come down?"

I didn't know how she had achieved it but Sheila had done it. That was probably why she hadn't called me back. She hadn't had the time if she had had to rush all the way down to Southampton.

"No, thank you I'll go up," I said to him as I almost ran out of the dining room. The damn lift seemed to take forever. Why is it when you are in a hurry, someone wants to get in or out of the lift on every damn floor?

I forced myself out of the door before it was fully open and ran down the corridor to my cabin throwing the door open I rushed into the empty room. I saw two suitcases lying on the bed and I could hear someone moving about in the bathroom. Going over to it I knocked on the bathroom door. "Sheila, God, am I glad you made it!" I called through the door. "I really think I would have gone mad, spending three months alone on this ship. Would you like some tea? Oh, that's silly of me. You'll want some dinner won't you. I've had mine already but we can go down for yours whenever you're finished in there." I sat myself in one of the armchairs and continued talking nonsense to the closed door but Sheila didn't reply.

Then I suddenly noticed a large brown envelope laying on the coffee table. I picked it up and looked inside. It appeared to have my divorce documents inside. I was still staring at them when the bathroom door opened.

"I hope you're not going to be disappointed but Sheila couldn't make it. Is there any chance that I would do instead?" Jack asked.

I looked at him in shock.

"Well, if you like, I can take those back and register them with the court. But I got the impression you would prefer it if we buried them at sea. Porsha, I had changed my mind about the divorce when I saw the difference in you at that meeting. But you wouldn't let me get a word in edgeways. You're very quiet, Porsha; I hope you haven't had a change of heart."

I couldn't reply because I was crying again. But with joy this time! I stood up and the love of my life took me in his arms.

Life goes on.

My thanks go to Harddaysnight for not objecting to me steeling his wife abandoning the husband in the restaurant scene, I liked that scene in "She's a Woman so I just had to use it.