Postcards

Amy looked away. "Kevin at first it was because I did not want to hurt you. We had been together since grade school, you were my best friend. I kept telling myself I was just going thru a phase. It would end soon. You would never know, never be hurt-we would live happily ever after. But it was hard! All that stuff I never had before made me feel like royalty-that feeling, that power was a drug. For the first time I was not the kid on the outside of the candy store window looking in. I kept putting off ending the ....my ..time with Troy. I was a fly drowning in honey." Amy dabbed at the drool seeping from the corner of her mouth again. "That day you found me in Troy's bedroom stunned me, I was in a state of panic. I was pretty sure you would never take me back after what I had done. What choice did I have, I had passed the point of no return! Half a loaf with Troy was better than nothing."

"Amy how about the choice of the truth?" I said with sarcasm. "We may have been able to get over if you had come to me after the first time."

"Kevin I know you will find this hard to believe, but in two days I was going to end it. Even if you had not found out I was going to quit my job and stop the whole sordid affair that Friday-cold turkey. I was determined to dedicate myself to you-to us, to our marriage, and our future. My letter of resignation was already printed out, signed and dated. It was in the drawer of my desk at work."

"Nice try Amy. Now you make me sad I broke in on you and Troy. If only I had waited two more days all this could have been avoided! It's all my fault, I was such a fool!" My voice was dripping with irony. "I bet you just happen to have that letter with you right now?"

"No Kevin. I can't prove it, can't disprove it. It doesn't help any now, but after I moved in with Troy it got boring, it was all about Troy. I had more enjoyment alone or with my vibrator."

"OK Amy that brings up the standard guy question. Was any of it because Troy was better than me in the sack?"

I saw Amy hesitate trying to think of an answer. "Amy come on-If I want someone to lie to me about my sexual abilities I'll hire a hooker. If your' not a hooker no need to lie. Let's have the truth."

"Kevin." Amy started. "Troy was a bit larger then you ...um down there. But not by much, that was no big deal. You and I were our firsts and up to Troy you were the only man I ever even kissed. I knew your body as well as I knew my own. What you liked, when you liked it, how you liked it. And I knew you had the same knowledge about me. We were always good together that way, no complaints. But Troy was ...um ..older ..um experienced ..Troy had been with lots of partners over time. He knew lots of different a ..stuff. He got a thrill out of getting me to do.. things. Some I did not like, others I did like.."

"Like anal you never gave me." I interrupted her.

"Yes, well no not really Kevin." Amy countered. "No doubt Troy was really into sticking his dick up my ass. I never got off on the butt fucking part. I tolerated getting my ass pounded, even pretended to like it –just to turn him on, get him to finish faster. I just felt like I ..um ..owed it to Troy. You know for all the things he was doing for me and giving me."

"You mean payment for services rendered." I asked.

"Kevin I was not a prostitute, or whore if that is what you are implying. Amy said briskly.

"Amy what do you call someone who performs sex acts for goods or services?"

"It was different." Amy claimed stiffly.

"If it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck.. a hooker by any other name.." I began. "No matter -you even fuck in my now house? In our bed?"

"NO Kevin never!" Amy blurted out. "Troy wanted to, but to me it was not about the sex, or an affair, or Troy or even you. It was all about the lifestyle, the things, people, places. Doing it up first class for once in my life. I wanted to get away from, um.. rise above this." Amy pointed around the dining room. "Not go back to it."

"Amy, it seemed Troy had no problem sharing you during the year and a half you were cheating on me. Did he continue to be as generous to his friends or others with your mouth, ass and crotch after you moved in with him?"

"Troy was very jealous Kevin. Troy wanted me to cut you off after he and I started...you know. But I ignored him on that. I never had ..relations with both of you on the same day. Troy loved to show me off, but hated me even talking to other men, and was always accusing me of screwing around on him. Ironic as I now know he had girls all over. Not to mention the escorts and call girls he had when out of town. However Troy was always after me to do a three way with another female. I finally gave in one time. It was with his 2nd wife, Troy was still on good terms with her. I did not really get into it, she was a trophy wife right out of a Hollywood movie central casting- just a dense bubble headed bleach blond."

"The difference between you and her was what exactly?" I asked.

"Touché." Amy winced. "Sad as it sounds I thought then that the bimbo had it all-money, looks, the seat at the front of the plane, a lifestyle I wanted. I used to make fun of vapid fools like that, than I became one of them." Amy hefted her breasts. "I started to turn into plastic Barbie."

"Did I pay for the whole Barbie make-over? Or did Troy chip in for a silicone boob?"

Amy winced again. "Kevin it was not the money from you. Troy hid the surgery cost in some budget for a project he had going on. I am afraid the auditors are going to want the money back."

"You were always good at bargaining Amy. Maybe you can talk the bankers into accepting only one breast. You can use some of the bedroom tricks Troy taught you to seal the deal."

"Kevin I can't live like this. I just want to shrivel up and die."

"Well Amy if you want to take Troy's route out of this life I cannot help you. I mean I got a garage-but at present I do not own a car-Sorry."

I really shouldn't have kept taking cheap shots at Amy. It was like beating a bunny. But I could not help myself, a deep anger kept coming to the surface. I thought I was over Amy-but was I? They say love and hate were two sides of the same coin. I could not tell if it was disgust I felt at the physical creature Amy had turned herself into, or anger at what she had done to me, to us, to our relationship.

"Kevin." Amy started. "I know a lot has happened, but before this mess we were always there for each other. I really need you now. We have been together most of our lives. We have both grown and changed. Can't we try to build on what we once had?"

I stood up. "Amy I would rather chew on tin foil and shave my head with a cheese grater." I finished my now cold coffee. "I don't know who you are anymore, and just don't trust you. How can I be sure you have not hidden away tons of cash and jewelry? You might just be waiting for the dust to die down before laughing at the clueless fool Kevin again. Then leaving me holding my dick in my hand."

Amy slumped back in the chair dejected. "I never laughed at you Kevin. You can put your dick in my hand or anyplace else you want in me. I will never leave you again. Please I need your help now."

"Sorry Amy I am unable to afford that risk anymore. The stakes are too high. I can't help you."

"Can't or Won't?" Amy asked.

"Does it make a difference?" I answered.

Just then the door opened and Lourdes walked in. She was in her flowered scrubs returning from her afternoon 3-11 rotation at the nursing home. I could not believe Amy and I had been talking so long. It was almost midnight.

"Oh Hello." Lourdes said, surveying the scene, and then walking right up to Amy, bending slightly to extend out her right hand. "I 'm Lourdes, and you are?"

With an effort Amy raised her hand to grip Lourdes's hand. "I'm Amy."

Lourdes stood up in shock, but quickly recovered, giving Amy the once over. Taking in Amy's large chest, cane, factoring in the limp grip and facial features.

"Bell Palsy?" Lourdes asked pointing to Amy's face.

"Beg your pardon?" Amy responded.

"Bell Palsy." Lourdes stated professionally, looking at Amy's face. "The nerve that controls the facial muscle is damaged resulting in paralysis. Real common with herpes."

"I do not have herpes." Amy said defensively putting her hand up to her face. She then soften. "But I can see how you would think that after what I did to Kevin." Amy sighed. "I had a stroke..." Amy went on to explain the whole story to Lourdes. After Amy finished her tale, Lourdes asked if she could speak to me in the kitchen.

"Kevin." Lourdes started. "We cannot just throw Amy out into the street."

"Fine." I said. "Let me call one of Jose sons. They can drop Amy off at the shelter."

Lourdes gripped my arm so tight I felt her nails dig into my skin. "Kevin you can't be serious. You can't leave a female in that condition at one of those places. They will eat her alive."

"What do you want from me Lourdes? Should we have Amy join us in bed? Do a three way? You heard her -it would not the first time with another babe for Amy. Or maybe you get into that now?" I lifted an eyebrow at Lourdes and gave her a mock leer.

Lourdes released her grip and swatted at me. "You men are all the same. Put away your fantasies."

"More like my nightmare." I replied. "Losing you to Amy would drive me suck on an exhaust pipe."

"Whatever." Lourdes rolled her eyes. "Amy can crash on the couch tonight. We will figure out the rest in the morning."

"What is this Lourdes? Some Latin version of the Italian mafia godfather's Keep Your Friends Close- But Your Enemies Closer? I saw you jab at Amy with that Bell Palsy-herpes remark."

Lourdes looked down. "Yea I should have done that, it was bitchy of me kicking someone when they are down." Lourdes took a breath. "Then I remembered WWJD? It's only one night."

"You better count the silverware when you wake up." I countered.

"Kevin we don't have any silverware worth taking." Lourdes answered.

"Lourdes you're not worried about my Ex-wife given her reputation -sleeping in this house?" I questioned.

Lourdes looked at me seriously for a moment. "I know you and more important I trust you. Besides if you leave me for plastic and trout lips-you were never really mine anyway."

"Lourdes it's never going to happen. Guess you are stuck with me then." I gave her a kiss.

+++++++++

I was in the kitchen the next morning at 6 AM dressed in my maintenance coveralls. I was not flying today –but had three houses to clean today for Jose's wife Maria's company.

"Morning Kevin." It was Amy standing in the kitchen entrance with a blanket wrapped around her. She had bed hair from sleeping on the couch.

I just grunted, turning away to attend to my cup of coffee.

"Kevin do you still have our boxes of postcards?" Amy asked and yawned.

"They were your postcards Amy. And no I do not have your postcards anymore."

"Where are they?" Amy persisted.

"I burned them Amy. In fact I roasted marshmallows over them-sort of flames of our past."

"Oh." Amy said looking crestfallen. I sat down and stirred my coffee. We were both silent for a few minutes.

"Kevin, I just want to thank you for letting me stay overnight." Amy said.

"Don't thank me Amy, I was not in favor of the idea. Thank Lourdes." I replied.

"Yes Lourdes." Amy paused. "You and her...." She trailed off. I said nothing. My relationship with Lourdes was none of Amy's business.

"Kevin." Amy began wiping some drool on her downturned lip. "I don't know if I said it last night but I am so very sorry."

"Sorry for what Amy? Cheating? Walking out? Taking all the money? Destroying our marriage? Lying? Trying to take more money after bankrupting me? Coming back to disrupt my life? Or are you sorry you do not have all the toys in your life Troy gave you anymore? You need to be more specific."

"I am sorry I ever wanted anything more then you." Amy said softly.

"Sounds more like buyer's remorse to me." I got up and threw the rest of my coffee in the sink. "Tell me Amy –if the house of cards had not come falling down and you still had all the perks of the past three years. Would you still be here today?"

"Kevin I am sorry I ever left you." I heard Amy say as I rinsed out my coffee cup. I felt a touch on my shoulder. I turned around. Amy was standing before me completely nude. The blanket was pooled around her feet.

Even with fake breasts, and the ½ frozen face -a nearly six foot tall naked bleach blond with double D's is a sight to behold.

"I see someone is happy I stayed the night." Amy said pointing at the tent in my crotch. "That is quite a early morning greeting."

"Don't flatter yourself Amy." I reached down to pick up the blanket at her feet. "I went a long time without. I get an erection now by just reading ladies golf scores." I handed Amy her blanket.

"Kevin I meant it last night. I'm yours, and only for you. You can do anything with me -anytime anyplace anywhere." Amy reached out with her good hand.

"I read that text once already Amy. I'll pass." I walked out the door.

+++++++

Figures my first big fight with Lourdes would be over Amy. I just wanted Amy to be out of my life-someone else problem. Both Lourdes and Maria ganged up on me (Jose the husband of Maria wisely made himself scarce-I wish I could have done the same.) All the talk about Christian charity, forgiveness and turning the other cheek was great in theory-but sucked in practice. However two catholic latin ladies who believe God is on their side are a force of nature. Both were adamant it was our duty to help those in need if we could. Bread cast upon the waters and all that. They tried to explain how forgiveness does not mean I had to forgot what Amy had done to me. Those two argued that saints throughout time had forgiven sinners who had done them wrong. Even Jesus had forgiven Judas who had made the ultimate betrayal.

I pointed out I was no saint, that any resemblance between Jesus and I was purely cosmetic at best. Amy and Maria were not fazed, claiming I had once loved Amy enough to marry her. Amy's history of devotion to me-the recent past not withstanding -earned her some right to a helping hand now.

Good God I would rather have tangled with a couple of rabid badgers then Lourdes and Maria!

Lourdes rationalized and laughed away Amy's recent seduction attempt as a result of stress, PTSD at the sudden turn of events, an attempt to reconnect with the safe secure past. Lourdes is a better person then me-I could not swallow such baloney.

Maria got Amy a job cleaning houses. The farthest I could get Amy away was the "Mother In Law apartment" above my garage that Lourdes set Amy up in. Amy paid a meager rent which did help us out. Lourdes and Amy would sometimes sit on our front porch and talk together. I tried to avoid Amy at all costs. Who wants to be reminded of a train wreck? Lourdes said Amy just worked and went to church, never leaving the garage apartment to go anyplace. I had a real warm place I wanted Amy to go, but I kept it to myself -OK I said it under my breath a few times. In truth I must admit that Amy never came on, or made a suggestive move on me again.

Things finally settled down after a few months. I was walking up the porch stairs returning from my flights. Lourdes was standing on the porch talking with an older lady with silver hair who looked vaguely familiar. I held out my hand to introduce myself when the silver hair lady grabbed me in a big hug.

"Kevin you remember Mrs. Tallen" Lourdes said. "From the golf course."

Then it clicked. This was the wife of the heart attack victim that day on the golf course! I now had a name to go with the face. I had run her off that day to go for help while Jose and I did CPR on her husband.

"Come, come." The silver haired Mrs. Tallen exclaimed, pulling me into the house. "He has been waiting all day for you and is cranky as an old bear."

"Who is waiting for me?" I asked as I entered our dining room.

The man we had saved from the golf course was sitting at my dining room table. The table was littered with official looking papers. The man was silver haired like his wife. He was of medium build and height with an air of authority about him. A walking cane was propped again his chair.

"Damn Boy get in here!" The silver haired man boomed. "I'm Boone Tallen, and I been waiting a mighty long time to meet you again!" The silver head Boone Tallen picked up his cane and pounded it on the chair next to him. "Sit your happy ass down right here!"

Boone Tallen was a man used to others following his orders. I took a seat next to him. Boone slapped me on the back so hard I almost fell out of the chair.

"Damn boy!-Mind if I call you Kevin?" Boone Tallen said without waiting for an answer. "I owe you my life! Now Boone Tallen always pays his debts!" He picked up a sheet of papers from the table, then tossed them in my lap.

"Now listen up Kevin that there is a personal services contract. I got a Learjet 60 and you are going to be one of my personal pilots once you get rated on it. The contract is good for 15 years with yearly increases and bonus. Renewable every year by you. Don't matter if I am dead or alive. Only way you screw this up is if you crash the damn plane. You do that, you're dead so you won't get paid anyhow. Doc says I can't pilot no more but I got to be places. The Lear stays here, I call-you-haul. Understand?"

I looked at the salary, my eyes popped out. It was stupid money, lotto winning money.

"Mr. Tallen" I started. "This is most generous, but.."

"But what Kevin!" the silver haired Boone Tallen interrupted me. "You saying my life ain't worth a few measly bucks? Hell damn life insurance company should pay you that much to thank you for saving my sorry ass that day at the golf course. Keeping me alive got them life Insurance bastards outta paying off my policy."

I was speechless, but the energetic silver haired Boone Tallen was not.

"Next Kevin is this bunch of papers. They are the deed to this house, showing it paid in full. Consider it a signing bonus. Can't have my pilots worrying about some friggin mortgage when they fly my butt around. I want their full attention in the cockpit. There is also a title to a new F250 powerstroke pickup truck-you can get it tomorrow at the dealer. When I call I do not want you waiting at some damn bus stop-Got it!"

Boone Tallen's sliver hair moved a bit as he banged his cane on the table before he continued. "This Bullshit with them pantywaists at Nine Rivers Country Club. Trying to get you for a ¼ million because you messed up some grass getting me to the hospital? Forget about it. I got more lawyers in my cell phone directory then there are in this whole town. I sic'd my New York shyster boys on them Nine River fools. Greedy pricks at Nine Rivers were trying to double dip. Collecting the insurance on the damage and getting you too. Them A holes from that Nine Rivers Place should be sending you a letter of apology sometime this week, along with a paid up full membership."

"Now you young lady" The silver haired Boone Tallen pointed his cane at Lourdes. "We need to get you that RN license. I got two instructors from the Kaplan Testing center holed up in a hotel downtown. They are going to be your personal tutors. I want you to take and pass that test in 90 days. After that All Saint Hospital is going to hire you for Pediatric and Cardiac. After a year you are going to get trained to be my flying nurse to satisfy the damn insurance pricks. There is a contract for you too in this mass of paper on the table. Your student loan debts are now history-paid in full. Also I do a lot of Angel flights on my jet with kids so you study hard!"

Lourdes rushed up and gave Boone Tallen a big hug. "Careful honey." Boone Tallen teased Lourdes. "A young babe touching me like that is going freak out my pace maker."