Promises

That relief and that warmth scared me, leaving me to wonder if I meant 'love' in the deepest, purest sense. Was I in love with Rory? Was I in love with the boy who swam with me in the shallow end of the lake, who played on my team for everything from beach soccer to Halo? The boy who saved me from my parents fights and picked me up when I got lost? I thought of prom, how good everyone said we looked together and how comfortable I felt on the dance floor with him. All those nights by the fire suddenly had so much more significance in my memory than they had to me when they happened. The answer I had come to in the weeks after that kiss on the forehead was yes, I was in love with Rory.

The answer I had also come to was no, I couldn't be in love with Rory. The number of times he called me "punk" or "kid" or introduced me as his surrogate little sister ensured that. Surely, to him, I was still that twelve year old girl he threw in the lake fully clothed. Being with Devon ensured that I kept some distance from Rory, and that distance kept me sane, and kept me from falling any deeper than I already had. I couldn't risk Rory breaking my heart and changing everything.

Rich had already left for work, and let Rory come over to watch the previous night's game which he had recorded on our TV. We were the only ones in the house, and though I knew Devon was on his way to pick me up, and getting caught would be a continuation of the endless argument, I needed to take advantage of the few minutes I had to talk to the boy on my couch, the boy I couldn't be in love with.

Moving as slowly as I could off the last step and across the back of the room, I snuck up behind him. "Whatcha watching?" His whole body shifted as he jumped in surprise, whipping his head around to look at me.

"Shit! Vikki, that's not very nice you know. You're lucky I'm nice or you'd be in trouble."

"Oh yeah, what would you do, Mr. Police Academy Graduate? Arrest me?" I held my hands out in front of me with a playful pout on my face, as if waiting to be cuffed.

"Actually, I would do something more along the lines of this," before I realized that he was reaching for me, he had leaned backwards over the back of the couch, grabbed me around the middle and flipped me forward over him. With me halfway in his lap, he started to tickle me. For as long as Rory had known me, he had no problem finding the sweet spots.

I was thrashing around in seconds, but he was strong enough to hold me down -- preventing himself from getting injured -- and keep a steady jab at my ribs and stomach. "Rory, ah! No not again with the tickling!" My laughter was uncontrollable. It bounced off the walls of the empty house and traveled through the open windows on either side of the front door. Shrieks of obvious amusement went with it. Desperately, I tried to push his hands away. "Riley! Stop," more laughter, "this is not fair!" I tried to tickle him back, but it was useless. His body was far too solid for such things. "Okay, okay! I suck, I'm sorry. I'll never never never never never ever ever sneak up on you again."

"Promise?" He spoke through gritted teeth, not allowing his hands to slow.

"Yes. Ah! Yes, yes I promise. I promise!" With a shrug, he let me go. I collapsed across him on the couch, trying to catch my breath while he laughed at me solidly. I gave him a playful scowl and stuck out my tongue.

Returning the gesture, Rory made no move to get me off of him. It had been a while since we had been so close in contact, but it was nothing strange for either of us. He was comfortable; I was euphoric. "So, what are you up to tonight?"

There was a slight hesitation before I answered. "I'm hanging out with..."

"Got it." Even the name was an annoyance to him. "Have I told you yet this week how much I don't like that guy?" I shook my head. It'd been almost two weeks since he'd last said this. "Well, in that case, you deserve so much better than that creep, Vik. I don't know how you've tolerated him for this long, to be honest. He and his friends are constantly getting brought into the police station for every possible stupid thing out there. Not to mention the way that he treats you."

"Rory, please."

His expression softened, and he offered me his hand, pulling me up to a seated position; I was sitting in his lap. He wrapped his hands around my waist, linking them at my side, to help keep me up at my weird angle. My heart jumped. "Okay. I know you don't like it when I talk about him like that, but I told you before that I don't like you dating him, and I never will." His green eyes were looking straight into mine, making my stomach flip. "I don't want you getting hurt."

I jabbed him in the ribs, "So far today, you're the only one who's brought me any harm." My expression was playful.

"Hey, don't give me that, chick, you started it."

"It's not my fault a grown man, a police officer, is so easily spooked. I just wanted to say 'hi'." It was easy to see I was mocking him, teasing him, feigning absolute innocence.

Rory chuckled, giving me a shake. "Who are you calling a 'grown man'? Are you kidding? How much have I honestly changed since I was in high school?"

In terms of physical stature, he had changed a lot. Rory looked like a man, a well built, desirable man with all the sex appeal any guy could hope for. "Oh, and what, I'm still that twelve year old girl who used to follow behind you guys all the time?"

"No," he answered quickly, a corner of his lip raising the smallest degree. "You're definitely not twelve years old anymore."

Before I could let my brain give meaning to that statement that it didn't have, I sent it in a different direction. "You're right, twelve year old me would have been able to this," without further warning, I wrapped my arms around him and started grabbing at a spot on his lower back, just above the line of his jeans. I t was the single ticklish spot on his body, one that, I was almost positive, no one knew about but me.

His body bucked as he mixed a surprised yell with a laugh, almost throwing me off of him. Still, I kept myself attached and continued my attack while I still could. Too soon, he began to retaliate, and I was losing ground.

Ready to admit defeat, I stopped tickling him and started to push myself away. "Oh no you don't. You don't get to run away after that cheap shot." Ensuring that this was true, he pulled me close and wrapped his arms all the way around my body, tickling my ribs on the opposite side. There was nowhere to go, and he wasn't about to let me move. Our bodies were pressed as closed together as they could be, with me almost straddling him. Had I been able to breath, I may have been overcome by the sensation.

Still not giving up, he flipped him around and dropped us down onto the couch, turning so that we were lying with me between him and the backrest. Movement instantly became impossible, and it was all I could do to laugh and shriek pleading words at him louder than before.

"Get your fucking hands off of her." Dean was only a few feet away, looking at me in disgust. The new rush of air told me the front door stood open behind him. "Victoria, let's go." Rory stopped tickling me immediately and looked up with a similar expression of disgust.

I pushed myself away from him quickly and stood to move over toward my boyfriend, self-consciously straightening my hair. My attempt to kiss him on the cheek was interrupted when he dodged away from me. "I don't want any sloppy seconds."

"Devon, come on, we were just playing."

"Just shut up, Victoria, and get in the fucking car."

Rory was getting to his feet, looking more displeased. "Yo, you better watch how you talk to her."

"Rory." I wanted to avoid any confrontation between the two as best as possible, my heart was rising to my throat from the looks of pure hatred they both gave. "Don't worry about it, okay? Let's go, Devon."

I tried leading him out the door, but he resisted, dodging away from my hand as if it were something foul. "Don't touch me, you slut."

"Devon, you think I'm playing?"

"Riley, please." I tried again, but it was useless.

Devon pushed me out of the way, keeping himself between me and Rory. "You got something to say to me?"

Though Rory normally stood up straight, he somehow managed to raise himself in such a way that he grew even taller. Something dark seemed to gleam in his eye as Devon moved me, and he stepped forward. "Don't talk to her like that and you better never put your fucking hands on her crazy again."

"I'll touch her whenever I damn well please. Don't get in my face just because you're jealous that you don't get to fuck her."

"Neither do you from what I hear."

Before I understood what was happening, Devon grabbed me and pulled me against him, pinning my arms down. My heart raced in my chest, things moving too quickly to make sense. "I guess there isn't much to be jealous of, anyway."

"Get off her!" His voice was pure venom, but he stopped moving forward.

Devon's hand dropped to the base of my skirt. "I mean, she's pretty, but other than that, look at her." He was lifting my skirt up, his hand sliding roughly along my bare skin. "Who would want her?"

Rory started forward, but caught himself, not yet blind enough in his hatred to risk getting that close with me in the middle. "Let her go now!"

"Fuck you, Rory." Devon's voice was terrifyingly calm. "You're going to tell me what I should do with my girlfriend. I don't think so."

"Only a complete pussy would use a girl as a shield. Let her go and fight me like the man you think you are." The second Devon threw me to the floor; Rory had him by the throat, slamming him into the wall next to the door. "I'm going to fucking kill you, you worthless piece of shit." The words came out as little more than a growl, but were not lacking in ferocity.

"Rory, stop." I stood quickly and latched myself onto his free arm. The look in his eye was terrifying, and I wasn't sure how far he was going to go. "Please."

Breathing heavily, eyes wild, Rory looked down at me, "Give me one good reason not to kill him, Vik."

"Because you're better than that." I reasoned as best I could, fighting my own desire to see exactly what Rory was hoping to do to Devon. But I know, deep down, once they start hitting it would be hard for either of them to stop. "You guys don't need to fight, okay? I'm fine. Everything's fine." He wasn't convinced. "I'm asking you to please not do this." Hesitantly, Rory released his grip and began to step away.

Too quickly, Devon's arms were around me again, pinning me to him around the middle, but purposely facing me towards Rory. "I knew you'd be on my side, baby." His lips scratched behind my ear.

I pushed against him, annoyed more than afraid. "Devon, stop."

"I think it's time to go, Victoria." He started walking us towards the door. "As much as I'd love to stay and play with Rory a little more, I have a date with my girlfriend."

"She's not going with you!" We were halfway out the door, Rory matching our steps inch for inch.

Finally raising the edge of fear in me, Devon chuckled, a deep short chuckle that said he knew exactly how much trouble he was causing, and only planned to cause more. It said he was in control, and he knew it. "I think she is, and I think, if you know what's good for her, you'll wait here like a good little dog for me to decide when it's time for her to come home." The sidewalk was underneath us now, his car getting closer and closer.

Rory hesitated, taking in Devon's words and conflicted on how to react; his face said he was pained and sorry. It was exactly what Devon wanted. "I'll be okay, Rory." I wanted desperately to reassure him. "Don't worry. I'm just going to go with him for now, and then I'll be back. I'll be fine."

"Shut up!" Devon shook me, making Rory take a quick step forward, but only one. "You know what you're problem is? Your problem is that she's always just out of reach, and you can't save someone you just can't get to." The driver's side door was open and he pushed me inside, keeping a hold on my wrist. "If you weren't so worried about hurting her, you might have actually helped her." He shoved me to the side and sat down, slamming the door.

Just as he turned the key, Rory ran for the passenger door and grabbed at the handle, not knowing the door was broken and couldn't open from the outside. "Vikki!" Dean had me pinned against him, and I there was nothing I could do to fight against his weight.

"Don't worry; I'll have her home by midnight." Departing words. He slammed his foot down on the accelerator, leaving Rory behind on the sidewalk, his hand stretched out as if he were still trying to pull open the door.

"He'll follow us."

"Don't be a fucking moron. Did you see his car at your house?" I knew the answer without having to think about it. Rory's apartment was only a little over a mile away from our house. With the weather still nice, he would have walked or biked over, but not have taken out his car. "And don't go thinking that he knows where I live. I never tell anyone that."

"You have a criminal record."

"With my mommy and daddy's address on it. That apartment isn't in my name, so don't worry, we'll have plenty of alone time." The words weren't even teasingly sarcastic. They were bitter with an underlying promise of 'alone time' being anything but good.

Before I knew it, a retort crossed my lips. "You don't have to be such an ass hole."

Pushing me away from him, he whacked me in the back of the head. "Watch how you talk to me, you useless, bitch."

I looked to the floor of the car, trying to keep my breathing under control. "Devon, take me home."

"Stupid fucking slut."

"Devon, take me home." Despite the tears rising in my eyes, I managed to push the words out with confidence.

"No, I don't think I will. We had a date tonight and I want to keep it." Just then, my phone rang. The tone told me exactly who it was, but I could have guessed anyway. "Don't even think about answering that." From his tone, he had been able to guess too. For the absolute first time, despite all the yelling matches and fights we had had before, I was completely scared of him.

Within minutes, we pulled into the dark parking lot to the apartment that was completely off the radar of anyone who would try looking for me. Before I could grab the handle of my own door, he wrapped his hand around my arm and dragged me out the driver door. "We have lots and lots to talk about."

The second we were inside, he pulled me to his bedroom and threw me to the wall, planting himself inches away. He started yelling. Slut. Whore. Bitch. Skank. Useless. The words flew from his mouth. I had let Rory put his hands all over me. I was rolling around on the couch with him. I would have let him fuck me and gave him my cherry that I refused to give him if he hadn't showed up. I was ungrateful. Easy. Cheap.

My heart beat rapidly, but I put forth all effort to keeping myself calm, relatively speaking. Talking back was always a mistake, but his rage showed how much more than a mistake it would actually be. Angered mixed with my fear. I held it in.

When my phone rang again, he slapped me. The third time he slammed me into the wall. Finally, he ripped my phone from my pocket and threw it to the other side of the room. "Don't." It came out before I could stop myself.

"What was that?" He slammed me against the wall. "What did you say?" He slapped me across the face. "Maybe I should remind you who your boyfriend is. What do you think about that?" Grabbing me solidly by the arm, he whipped me backwards, making me trip and fall onto his bed. He was walking toward me.

"No." Disoriented, my attempted to roll away from him only got me wrapped in the sheets. "No, Devon!" He clasped a hand over my mouth and lowered the weight of his body against mine. "Stop it!" I screamed against his palm, pounding my hands against his chest. My efforts did nothing.

Once I realized there was no way I could fight him off, I closed my eyes and willed myself away. Every few minutes, the muffled tone of my phone broke through to my thoughts making Rory's face come in to view. Why had I pushed him away?

There was no concept of time in that room, leaving me unable to even grasp how much time had passed between the fight at my house and when I was left lying there, naked, trying desperately not to cry. Dean sat near his window, smoking a cigarette. "Get the fuck out you stupid little bitch. I wouldn't fucking rape you. Not when I have bitches throwing pussy at me. GET THE FUCK OUT!" He finally said, not even looking at me. "We're done." Just like that. I got up slowly and pulled on my clothes, feeling sore all over. He had been extraordinarily rough. I would no doubt have bruises before morning if they hadn't already begun to form.

A foul taste hung in my mouth as I realized how filthy I felt vile and disgusting. He didn't rape me but he forced me to suck him off and he had cum all over me. Finally grabbing my phone from the corner of his room, I rushed from the room, out the apartment and into the air.

It was dark, making me not want to walk the three miles home by myself, but I also had no money and didn't want Rory or Rich to see me as I was. There was no doubt in my mind as to how I looked, and no doubt what them seeing me would bring about. Instead, I walked to a bar a few blocks over where I had been several times with the boys. If I remembered correctly, one of them even worked there, though it was unlikely he would see me.

Walking in the door, I bumped into someone. Looking up, I saw he was a larger guy with a lot of facial hair. Even so, he didn't look too much older than my brother. "Sorry," I mumbled, keeping my head down and continuing on my way. The first thing I did was slip into the bathroom to fix myself up as best I could, splashing cold water on my face and running my fingers through my tangled hair, ripping more than untangling. Fifteen minutes later, I was satisfied and headed back out to the bar. Tim stood behind the counter. I was about to call out to him, but stopped myself, suddenly afraid of how I still looked and who Rory might have called trying to find me.

Instead, I roamed into the crowd, trying to find a quiet place to call Rich so that he would come pick me up. Finding a relatively free spot, I flipped open my phone. Before I could even begin dialing Rich's number, I saw the message on my phone. "21 Missed Class: Rory". It was all I needed to make me realize Rich was not the one I wanted to pick me up. Despite my fear of Rory's reaction, I needed it to be him.

I cleared the message and started typing in Rory's number. Just before I hit the green call button, someone stepped closer to me. "Hey there, kitty. All on your own tonight?" It was the same guy I had knocked into on my way in. In a strange way, he had an air of familiarity about him.

"N-no." My voice was shaky, and I focused on keeping my thoughts singular and not slipping back to any of the events from the night. "My brother is around her somewhere." Before waiting for a response from him, I hit the call button and started moving away. It only rang once.

"Hey, Vikki. Are you okay?" His voice was instantly concerned.

I took a deep breath and hoped my words would come out clearly. "I'm fine."

"Come on, cutie, don't be like that. I think I know someone who would love to see you." His hand was on my arm pulling me back towards him.

"Let me go." I pulled away sharply and remembered my phone. "Rory?"

His voice changed to a deeper concern with an edge of anger. "Who is that? Who's there with you?"

The guy leaned toward me so that his face was very near the microphone of my cell, almost as if he were trying to speak straight into it. "Let's have some fun, baby. Put that phone away." He was grabbing at me, trying to wrap an arm around my waist.