Punished at St Sade's

When the formal lesson began Fortitude had the whole group doing PT exercises such as star jumps and sit ups then we moved on to mat work and vaulting over the box. She kept us working at full speed and, whenever I went over the horse, she made sure she was on hand to grab my bare body and give me an extra push as I grunted into my steel gag and was very aware of how damp I was down there. In fact, to my horror, I knew that little droplets of moisture were forming between my legs for all to see.

In short it was nothing more than ninety minutes of pure torture mixed with sexual overtones between Fortitude and myself of which I am fairly sure the other girls were totally unaware. Twice I lay on the floor panting and feeling I could not move a muscle and she stood over me blowing her whistle and berating me until I stood up to face even more mistreatment.

When the bell rang for Lunch the other girls went to change and Fortitude ordered me to go to the refectory to report to Reverend Mother. I was not happy about this at all but what could I do but obey?

As soon as I entered the refectory Reverend Mother grabbed my forearm in a painful grip which caused my face inside its little cage to crease up. With the few girls who were at lunch early watching she dragged me to a place behind the top table where a heating pipe ran down the wall and she threaded a length of string around the pipe and around the front of the bridle so that my head was tied to the pipe. Then she left me so that I was obliged to stand there displaying my naked bottom to the whole room with my face up against the wall.

I stood there for the whole of lunch and I am ashamed to say that I could not keep my hands from going to the soft tender area between my legs. I told myself that, as my back was to the room, no-one could see what I was doing between my body and the wall but now I realise that I was fooling myself. I was hopping from foot to foot and my breathing was irregular and forced and accompanied by little moans and gasps as my questing fingers rubbed with increasing vigour and became wet with my juices. And I was doing all of this a few feet from the staff dining table with the whole school watching me. My mind was so flooded by treacherous endorphins that it had no control and I was unable to think about what I was doing but now it seems that my morning of bitter humiliation had somehow triggered something deep within me and all my sexual responses, so long suppressed, had now exploded.

Lunch finished and the school filed out into the playground to spend the remainder of the lunch hour in socialising leaving me still tied to my pipe with my mouth dry and my stomach rumbling. Sister Fortitude came to me and, without warning, her hand landed in a stinging slap across my left buttock making me yelp. Two more stingers landed causing me to hop vigorously from foot to foot then she put her head very close to the ironwork around my head and whispered so that no-one else could hear.

"That was for the disgusting display which you were giving during lunch. Everyone knew exactly what you were doing."

Then she returned to her normal voice.

"Now it is time for the little animal to be fed."

She cut the string binding me to the pipe then reached between the bars around my caged head and gripped my ear which she used as a handle to drag me out of the room, along the corridor and out into the yard where the school was milling around. I was dragged to the back door of the kitchen where the pig bin, containing the scraps from everyone's meal had been tipped into an earthenware trough. Producing a key from her pocket Fortitude unlocked the horrible bridle and pressed down on my shoulders so that I was kneeling at the trough. Then she grabbed a hank of my hair and pressed my face down into the trough with its mixture of cold soup, squashed vegetables and rice pudding.

My bottom was in the air and I knew that the fleshy lips between my buttocks were on view as I lapped up the cold mixture with my hair falling over my face into the trough. Fortitude stood over me as I ate with a little ring of girls standing around at a safe distance to enjoy the show. When Fortitude felt I had eaten sufficient my hair was painfully grabbed and I was hauled to my feet with my face, hair and even my boobs covered in bits of food. She dragged me to an outside tap which she turned on full blast and forced my head under the freezing flow then picked up a rag and began to vigorously rub my breasts. To the watching, giggling girls she appeared to be just washing me but both Fortitude and I knew exactly what was being done to my tender nipples which were now standing to attention and throbbing very uncomfortably.

After what seemed a very long time I was hauled to my feet and turned around with my soaking hair sticking to my face and cold water running down my naked body and I beheld the huge, black-clad bulk of Father Worthy who must have been standing watching my being washed. I tried to shrink back from the forbidding man. Could he have been there when I was face down in the trough showing my most secret part? I desperately hoped that he had not witnessed my debasement but I think I knew that he had seen everything.

I had expected to have all day going to lessons in my nakedness before being taken to the annex but it seemed that he had come for me now. The horror of the morning had taken me to my limit and beyond and now it felt that the devil himself had come to take me. I just could not face any more and I hugged Sister Fortitude with my face pressed to her bosom as I begged her in floods of hysterical tears not to let him take me. His huge hand closed over my forearm and I saw the big emerald ring which he always wore. For some reason my eyes locked on the ring and I noticed that the jewel had been swung to one side exposing a tiny silver needle. He lifted his hand from my arm and I felt a scratch on the back of my hand.

A childish voice deep inside my mind spoke in a very calm, matter of fact way,

"He has scratched my hand."

There was a whooshing sound in my ears and I sank to my knees feeling that I was shrinking and a horrible black cloud was gathering around me and blocking out all the faces looking down at me. They were moving their lips but I could not hear what they were saying. My arms were weightless and I was falling into a deep, dark pit.

Even in unconsciousness I was not to be allowed any rest. I don't know what the drug in the ring had been but it unlocked that dark place deep within my mind to which I had consigned my most shameful fantasies. I saw myself naked and stretched over Mr Turner's desk with him taking me by force; then I was on my bed in the dorm with my legs splayed wide apart and every girl in the dorm taking turns to play with my sensitive flesh. I had long had a secret crush on Alycia who slept in my dorm and had huge rounded breasts and now I saw myself caressing her naked breasts while Reverend Mother stood by with her cane ready to punish me for what I was doing.

After an age of the most arousing and debasing visions I found myself floating and feeling a gentle stroking between my legs. I opened my eyes and looked up to see Sister Fortitude sitting on the bed beside me and stroking my most private and tingly part. For a while I thought this yet another fantasy but then I looked around and saw that I was on a narrow wooden bed in a bare stone room which had an iron grille instead of a door. I knew that I was in the dreaded annex.

Fortitude spoke.

"I have come to help Father Worthy. Sister Patience is taking my Gym class."

With one hand she continued her lovely gentle stroking and with the other she unzipped the front of her tracksuit top to allow her neat white breasts to spill out into my view. She was smiling and making soothing sounds as her working between my legs increased in vigour and her naughty fingers began to dip between my secret lips aided by the lubrication of the increasing moisture which I was supplying.

My body began to writhe and deep sighs were issuing from my throat. Fortitude leaned down to me and her free hand caressed my tender breast. Automatically my hands came up to return the gesture to her and I was feeling the smooth warmth of her flesh then, our actions choreographed by ancient instincts, our lips met and I felt her tongue exploring my mouth and slipping around my own tongue.

Our bodies were entwined now and she had pushed down her trousers and stripped off her most un - nunlike tiny purple panties allowing my slender fingers to run through her thick pubic hair and find her intimate depths where her vaginal muscles gripped my hand as if they would never let go. I have no idea of how long we coupled and the cell filled with our gasps and moans but it caused me to slip into a deep sleep.

I awoke to find Fortitude sitting beside me gently stroking my hair. She was back in her navy tracksuit but I enjoyed a thrill at the knowledge that she was almost certainly completely naked beneath her one layer of clothing. I looked up and beheld the frightening form of Sister Penitence standing behind Fortitude. Penitence was the ugliest woman I had ever seen; her face was wrinkled and dominated by her huge nose and she was big. I don't mean that she was fat but she was thick set, like a man, and abnormally tall. She was in her full nun's habit. The combined presence of Fortitude who had so recently made love to me and Penitence who had a fearsome reputation had a very unbalancing effect upon me.

Fortitude spoke quietly and gently as she explained that I had a dark seed of evil set deep within me.

"You enjoyed what we did didn't you?"

I confessed that I had very much enjoyed it and Fortitude said that my dark needs had to be given vent at times but I had to learn that pleasure must always be balanced with punishment so that my soul could be cleansed. She told me that I now had to go with Sister Penitence and I had to obey her for my own good. Fortitude stood up and moved to one side so that Penitence could advance upon me; the woman grabbed my hair and yanked me off the bed. She held my hair at about level with her own waist so that I was obliged to walk while bent double with a searing pain in my head as I felt she was pulling my hair out by the roots.

We went out through the grille and into the next door room which was lit by a single dim, naked bulb hanging from the ceiling. It was a large room with peeling plaster and bare floorboards; I was vaguely aware of sundry items dumped around the room as if this were a junkroom. An old mattress lay in one corner but at the centre of the room was a large oblong table the top of which was a thick dark plank of old wood. Ugly black painted slabs of wood rested against the side of the table and I noticed a line of metal fitments near to either end of the table top.

Penitence released my hair and ordered me to lay face down on the table. Alone here naked and vulnerable with this monster there was no possibility that I would refuse to obey. I climbed onto the hard table and she told me to place my wrists on top of the metal fixings to either side of my neck then she lifted one of the wooden stocks from the floor and fitted it over my neck and wrists bolting it in place with metal bolts which were out of my reach. She then buckled onto my wrists thick leather cuffs so that my wrists were now too wide to be pulled free. All I could do was to look straight ahead and my vision was filled by a bucket of water which stood on the floor with two long birch rods protruding from it.

My jailor had now moved out of my sight and I felt her locking the other stock over my ankles and strapping leather cuffs around my ankles to fix them in place. My legs were held very wide apart. She moved back into view carrying a tin beaker which she placed to my lips and I gulped down the water. I had been very thirsty and was also hungry as I had eaten nothing apart from what I could lap up from the slop trough at lunchtime but I knew that naughty girls did not deserve to be fed. Without a word Penitence left me alone and I heard her locking the door.

I was in great discomfort with my tender nipples pressing into the table and my limbs being held fast in such an unnatural position. I found that it was best if I lay with my head on one side but that was not very comfortable and my eyes kept going to those two birch rods. My stomach was rumbling and I felt acid in my throat. I was also increasingly cold and, apart from the physical discomfort which was very great, I was being tortured by my own thoughts. Since breakfast this morning – was it still the same day – I had been subjected to terrible humiliation and abuse and I had no idea of what lay ahead although the presence of the birch rods were a big clue. I knew that they could do whatever they liked to me in this terrible place and I was tormented by the fear that I could become one of those girls who went to the annex never to return.

It seemed that for hour after hour I lay there moving my head from one side to the other and wriggling my limbs as much as I could then my heart stopped as I heard the door unlocked and then locked again and the huge bulk of Father Worthy appeared before me. He looked down at me as if I were the most disgusting creature he had ever beheld and then he grinned and moved out of my vision. I heard him turning a handle underneath the table and to my horror the table began to hinge in the middle so that my buttocks rose while my head and feet dropped. This pulled my body taught in the stocks so I was now held very firmly with the restraints biting into my ankles, neck and wrists.

He moved in front of me and slowly removed one of the rods from the bucket flexing it in his hands as the water dripped from it. I wanted to beg for mercy but I found that my voice did not work.

Now he was behind me and hidden from my view. I heard the whoosh in the air at exactly the same moment as the rod landed searing agony across my bottom and I screamed as if my lungs would burst. He had only struck once and I was sure I could stand no more but the second stroke landed almost immediately. I was fighting against the stocks but not moving an inch; he had an easy and unprotected target which was being held firmly in place for his torture. It needs to be understood that being birched bears no relation at all to feeling the cane; I was in extreme torture. I wanted to lose consciousness but that did not happen so all I could do was to lie there as he struck me again and again and I felt my warm blood run down my buttocks and between my legs. All rational thought had ended.

There came a point when I realised that I was no longer being struck and I lay on the table gasping for air and sobbing as if I would never stop. I was only dimly aware that he was releasing me from my cruel imprisonment and carrying me as if I had no weight at all to the mattress on the floor. I did not perceive things in a rational way so it was like a nightmare as I registered a huge black shape like a vampire looming over me and descending upon me. All his weight descended upon me as if to squeeze the life from my body and my legs were forced wide apart as if he wanted to tear me asunder like pulling a wishbone.

The world seemed to be full of his loud voice but then I ceased to be aware of anything which happened outside of my own body as my whole consciousness was consumed by the tearing agony deep within my belly. It seemed my whole lower body was being stuffed with something much larger than the space available and I saw in my mind's eye a picture of myself with the whole front of my body torn open and my innards bursting out like the stuffing from an old teddy bear. As the rape went on and on he was bouncing about on top of me crushing me into the damp mattress with his saliva soaking my hair and my face.

I was not even properly aware when he raised himself from me and yanked my face to his groin. I remember the whole world going pink and a vast fat cylinder which seemed to me as large as a tree trunk moving to my mouth. I smelt his sweat and the reek of his semen (although I did not recognise the smell as I had never smelt it before) and I was choking as it seemed my whole mouth and throat were filled with solid flesh. I was totally convinced that this was death and I found that I yearned for the final peace.

I have no memory at all of the ending of his assault upon me and I am haunted by the thought that I do not know what he did to me during the period when I had ceased to keep a record of events. All I know is that at some point Fortitude was there. She was naked and lying on the mattress beside me bathing my face. I turned to her and tried to reach up to bury my face in her breasts but I could not move; all I could do was to sob and sob. She held me and, some time later, she gently bathed my body in warm water as she made soothing sounds. As I was lying in her warm embrace I felt I was truly in Nirvana; I could not have been happier and the pleasure which I was feeling was worth every minute of my ordeal. I felt a great pride that I had endured as if I had done it for her. Now I understood about the balance between pain and pleasure; they are two sides of the same coin and I wanted to endure even more punishment so that I could enjoy more of this happiness.

I am a bit muddled about time and about the course of events but I know that at some point I was in a warm bed with proper bedding and at some point Penitence brought me a meal on a tray but I have no idea of what it was. I remember Penitence telling me that it was time to return to school. She said it in that strict voice which was the only way that she ever spoke and she said that I had to see something before I left. My school uniform had appeared on the small table in the room and Penitence watched my every move as I dressed. Moving still caused an ache between my legs and I had ugly sore welts on my buttocks so pulling up my knickers was painful. I now saw the almost paranoid modesty amongst the girls in a new light and I wondered how many of them had to hide their bodies to conceal their own scars.

When I was dressed Penitence took me along a corridor to a small room whose walls were the ancient bare stonework of the original building. The room was dimly lit and from the ceiling hung a large iron hook. Suspended from this hook and spinning slowly was a naked and bound woman.

Despite the leather blindfold and the huge iron gag which was distorting her face I recognised Fortitude. Her wrists were chained to the back of her heavy iron collar so that her arms were straining up behind her back and ropes ran from the hook above her and under her arms where one could see how the bindings were cutting into her flesh. Metal clips were biting into her nipples and hanging from the clips were heavy lead balls which were swaying as she moved. The delicate petals of skin which formed her vaginal lips were being stretched downwards by more lead weights which were suspended from these little folds of sensitive flesh and I wondered how any woman could stand such a keen and intimate pain. When she had her back to me I saw a large lump of plastic protruding from between her buttocks which was stretching her back passage to its limit and must have been hurting her greatly. The front and rear of her body showed the livid scarlet wheals of a severe caning which had included her breasts themselves. A bar was fixed between her ankles keeping her legs wide apart as they hung about three feet above the stone floor. Fortitude was not simply spinning around but was also writhing against her bonds as if trying to ease her pain but it was clear that her struggles were futile.

My first reaction to this scene was horror but, to my shame, I have to confess that all the muscles between my legs tightened and, if I had not been under the eyes of Penitence, I would certainly have dipped my hand between my own legs to ease the tension which was being aroused there.