Putting Pants on PaulabyBarnaby©
Knock. Knock. Knock! "Hey! Are you decent in there?" I called into Paula's bedroom.
"Ow! What the…fuck are you…ouch!… talking about? Am I decent? What kind of…ugh…question is that?"
"I meant ‘Are you dressed yet?'" I said with a familiar, frustrated sigh.
"Then just SAY that, dammit! Say "Are you…unnngh …dressed yet?"' she grunted again.
"Aaaaallrighty, then. Here we go. Are…you…dressed…yet?"
"No! Dammitt! I am…NOT dressed yet! Okay? What's your damage?"
I chuckled a bit. Paula can be a real trip. People never seem to understand what I see in her. You know, sometimes in life you have no control. Have you ever found yourself inexplicably drawn to someone? There's no rhyme or reason to it; it just is. That's what love is like. You just can't control it. I loved Paula and as much as I knew Paula loved me, too, we had an unspoken agreement never to admit it and never to let things progress any further at the risk of hurting our friendship. Sometimes, though, I was more than willing to take that risk.
Paula's new job allowed her to wear jeans. In fact they encouraged it. It was one of the main selling points of the position. The problem came when Paula's only pair of jeans had apparently shrunken in the wash. That was her story, anyway. As her best friend, I had agreed to finance a new pair with the agreement that I at least got a fashion show out of the deal. Any excuse to look at her ass, you know? In the next room, Paula was bravely squeezing into the now ultra-tight jeans she loved as we prepared to go out on a shopping expedition. After a few more painful sounding moans of frustration, the door finally jerked open.
"You okay?" I asked.
"I'm here. Let's go."
As she pushed on ahead of me toward the door of her apartment, I stifled a laugh. The pants gave life to the old cliché of looking like they were painted on. Paula's legs could barely bend and I could tell she was having to suck in her sexy, curvy little belly just to get them pulled all the way up. "I have just one question," I said as she locked the door in the hallway.
"Don't say it!"
"No, I just wanna know…"
"Don't you dare…!"
"…how're you gonna get in the car? If you can't bend your knees, maybe we should just lay you out in the trunk."
"AAARRRGGHH!!!!" she yelled as she threw her apartment keys hard at my chest!
"Ouch! That hurt." I picked up the keys and tossed them back.
"It was supposed to, stupid! That was extremely rude!"
"Sorry, sorry, sorry,' I offered with my hands up in surrender mode.
Still, I couldn't help but feel like Ygor leading the lumbering Frankenstein monster down the three flights of stairs with nearly unbending legs. Eventually, we reached the parking lot and climbed into my little red Corolla. It wasn't easy but somehow Paula actually did manage to sit up without really bending her knees much.
"Okay, now where are we going?" I asked as we buckled up. I started the car and turned out onto the road. "Well?"
"To the Mall, dummy!" was her exasperated reply.
"The Mall. I see. Does "the Mall" sell jeans? I glanced over to see her glaring at me with tiny, metaphorical icy daggers shooting my way. When I looked back to the road, I realized that we were on a five mile an hour collision course with a little pink Volkswagen stopped at the light so I slammed on my brakes. This immediately caused the driver behind me to slam on his brakes which, in turn, caused him to lean on his horn.
Breathing hard, I looked to see Paula smiling a smug little smile. "Dear heart," I said, "you nearly got us fucking killed!"
"Serves you right for being such a dumbass all the time. Everybody knows you go to the Mall when you need to buy clothes and Wal-Mart for everything else. Go! The light's changed!"
"Beeeeeeep!!" from behind again.
"Shut up!" I yelled.
"Don't you tell me to shut up, Daniel Troy Green or I'll…"
"I wasn't yelling at you! I was yelling at that fuckin' idiot behind us that can't keep his fricking hand off the horn for five seconds, okay?"
"Oh." She wrinkled her nose like Samantha on Bewitched and then stuck out her tongue at me.
I took a deep breath and started laughing, diffusing the tenseness. Paula laughed, too. "All right, you temptress, let's try this again. Where in the Mall are we going? Where do I need to park? What exactly is our itinerary?"
"You know, sometimes you need to be a little more specific with your questions."
"GRRRRRRRR!!!!!" I growled, reducing her to laughter again. She slapped my thigh. "Last chance. Who the fuck am I gonna be making this check out to at the Mall? Is THAT specific enough."
"Just park in the usual place so we can find the car." That didn't really answer my question but when we got to the Mall, that's exactly what I did. She kind of slid out of the passenger seat and the two of us lumbered slowly inside.
"Thanks for doing this," she said softly.
"No prob. What're friends for, y'know?"
"Hey! What about that store right there?" I asked as we entered the center court.
"What is wrong with you? No!"
"Look, maybe it's just me but the sign that says ‘Big Jeans Sale. 50% off' would seem to fit what we're looking for here."
"I refuse to buy things at that store because they were rude to me when I shopped there in Senior Year."
I stopped walking and stared incredulously at her. "First of all, Senior Year was 3 years ago now. I'm sure they've had some turnover since then. Second of all, YOU'RE not buying anything in there. I am, remember?" With that I grabbed her arm and dragged her into the brightly lit store. Needless to say, she took offense.
"Jeans, remember? Now stop pouting and…well, just shop, dammitt!! You know you do it better than anybody! Go!" She looked around and her eyes eagerly lit up. Then she was off.
Now watching Paula shop was actually kind of a treat. I had been on a number of these shopping expeditions with her and she was good. If there were really a way to make a living as a professional shopper, she'd be rich. She could spot a bargain, sniff out a sale and effortlessly tell the difference between quality merchandise and shoddy rip-offs. Having turned her loose, I simply followed like a puppy, watching her slide her delicate fingers along the denim as she walked past racks and spinners, noting her eyes checking every sale sign and price tag. She hovered around for several minutes, oblivious to other customers that came and went. Finally, she settled on one rack, stacked with dark blue lowrider jeans. I saw her lean over and sniff the denim, then, like a hunting dog that had found its prey, she smiled brightly and motioned me over.
"Uh-huh! I need to try these on but they're the right size."
"And half price at that," I added thankfully as I noted the label.
She wrinkled her nose at me again. "There's the fitting rooms. I'll be right back."
"Okay." I watched her tight butt hobble into the changing room with her new prize. The doors of the little, closet sized dressing room only went about halfway to the floor, giving a surprisingly clear view of her legs once she was inside. Even though I stayed about ten feet away, I could hear Paula straining and struggling with the pants she had on again, this time in an effort to get them off. Underneath the door, I could see her trying vainly to make progress in the tiny room. She had kicked off her shoes and had one white-socked foot up in the air when suddenly, she yelped and fell backwards. Then she called for me.
"Look, could you maybe get one of the clerks to help me a bit here?"
"Uhhh…Sure. Hold on!" There were several women working in the store and I ran and grabbed the first one I could find, a tall thirty-something blonde lady. "Excuse me, Miss? My friend seems to be having some trouble in the fitting room and asked if maybe you could help her."
"I'm sorry, sir. I'm finishing up with another customer right now. It's been crazy here today with this sale. I'll be there in just a few minutes, though, okay? I promise."
"Well, okay, I guess."
I hurried back over to the little booth and knocked lightly. I guess Paula thought it was the clerk because she unlatched the door and opened it slightly.
"Uh, hi there," I said with embarrassment.
"OH! What the…?!"
"Look, I'm sorry. The clerk was busy. Said she'd get here in a minute. Is there anything I can do to help?"
"No! Get out!" She stood in front of me with one completely bare leg and the other had her jeans bunched up tightly around the ankle and apparently stuck. She was wearing a deep red lace thong and her left butt cheek was clearly visible as she sat down on the little seat. It was also obvious that she wasn't even wearing a bra as two nice little points poked out of her tight pink spaghetti-strapped top.
I took a deep breath and tried to concentrate on the moment. "Hey, look. We're very close. Just let me pull this…" I slipped all the way into the little cubicle closing the door and grabbing at her pants leg only to have her kick me away.
"I said ‘No!'" Unfortunately, the kick sent me tumbling to the floor and Paula sliding right after me with my face ending up buried directly in the fragrant arch between her legs. I inhaled deeply and enjoyed the musky aroma of my friend's sex. I thought she'd be ready to kill me but I was surprised to look up at her eyes and see something else there. Was it…? "Danny, I…"
Just then, though, the door opened. "Oh, no. Not again!" It was the blonde clerk. "This is the third time this month that some couple just HAS to make out in one of MY changing rooms."
We both stumbled quickly over each other's words in an effort to explain. "Wait a minute! We weren't…"
"Hold on, it's not what you…!"
The older woman, however, instead of being angry, began unbuttoning her dark blue blouse! I barely had time to be amazed at the turn of events before she also unfastened her front loading bra, allowing two of the juiciest looking mounds I've ever seen to wiggle and plop free right in front of me! Paula had climbed back onto the seat in the tiny but now crowded room and accidentally pushed my face directly into the clerk's chest.
"Well, hi there!" she laughed. "My name's Lacey. Don't be afraid. Suck ‘em for me, cutie." My heart was beating fast and I still couldn't believe this was happening but I was a man after all so I did as I was told and stuffed this stranger's tasty tit as deep into my mouth as I could. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see that Lacey was rubbing Paula's pussy through the panties I had just sniffed moments earlier. What I smelled then was becoming more noticeable by the second in the confined space. Paula finally kicked off the last of her jeans and our new friend crawled between her legs. "Don't go anywhere, handsome. I'll get back to you in a second but I have to lick this beautiful girl first, okay?"
"Uhh…yeah." What the fuck was happening here? Paula and I had never been sexually involved outside of my best wet dreams and yet here I was witnessing a woman I'd never seen before pulling aside the front panel of her obviously sopping underwear and running her long tongue through Paula's tight, hairless wetness! And what's more, I was seeing it double thanks to the full-length mirror. Instead of Paula's typical wisecracking and complaining, all I heard were moans of unexpected desire. Lacey rose and offered her breasts to my friend and I was surprised to see her grab and squeeze the woman's left tit and nibble on the nipple as if she'd been a lesbian her entire life.
"Ummmmmm! Ummmmmmmmmmm!!!" Paula's delighted moaning, mixed with Lacey's heavy breathing, had its effect, giving me the biggest hard-on I'd had in ages. This fact didn't go unnoticed by Lacey who reached behind her and rubbed it through my pants.
"Ooooo! Take ‘em off, boy," she cooed. "How did you plan on fucking her with all those clothes on anyway?"
"Now just wait one fuckin' minute here!" complained Paula, pulling away from Lacey's bouncy boobs. "We really weren't going to…" By that point, though, Lacey had unzipped my pants and pulled my throbbing cock through the hole in my boxers. Paula froze briefly and then followed with a deadpan "Oh, my gosh!"
The older woman pulled on me, causing a few drops to moisten my tip. "Here. For you, sweetie, " she said as she gently pulled Paula's head down next to my dick.
My friend looked at me with a mixture of confusion and long surpressed lust. "Danny…?" she questioned.
It was all happening so fast but I couldn't deny it was turning me on big time. After all, the evidence of that was sticking out about 7 inches in front of me. There was no real soul-searching needed on my part. "Suck me," was my only response as I looked my confused friend right in the eyes.
"Theeeeere you go," said our hostess in a self-satisfied tone Again she gently pushed Paula on the back of her head until her lips did something I thought they would never do. They opened readily to allow my lonely cock inside Paula's beautiful mouth to meet the tongue I had long imagined and desired. My eyes rolled back in my head for a moment but upon reopening, I saw Lacey's hand working feverishly under her own little blue skirt. The smell of their two pussies was absolutely intoxicating to me!
Paula moved her head up on down on me, tightening her lips each time as she pulled back. Slick with my own natural lube, my dick made juicy, wet sounds in combination with her mouth and I heard myself moaning rather loudly.
Lacey kept talking through it all and I found myself wishing it were Paula's voice instead. "Mmmmmm! Oh, baby! That's just luscious! Awesome! Mmmmmmm! Beautiful! We don't have a lot of time in here, though, folks and this sweet pussy feels ready!" Her hand had several fingers sawing in and out of Paula. "Come on. I wanna watch!" she smiled.
Suddenly, Paula's familiar personality resurfaced. She plopped my organ out of her mouth to say, "Lady, will you please shut the fuck up. We're trying to screw, here!" Lacey laughed and moved out of the way as best as she could so Paula could lean over the little seat. She wiggled her butt and said, "Fuck me, Danny."
"But we don't have any protection, sweetie," I protested in a rare moment of sanity.
"Do you think I fucking care at a time like this? Just jam it up me, now, understand?"
"Oooooo!" whispered Lacey.
"Stay out of this!" we both barked at exactly the same time. I pulled aside the sticky, soaking string of her underwear and slipped effortlessly into her slit from behind. I held her shapely hips as she rocked them back at me in the classic fashion. I wasted no time in ramming myself back and forth to her rhythm, fucking her doggie-style both in real life and again in the full-length mirror. I was still dressed although my pants were down around my ankles but I had a clear view of my rigid prick invading her pussy from behind as she moaned incessantly. It felt right. Snug, perfect and natural. I stopped for a second to look at Lacey.
"Keep at it, stud! This was your idea. I just want to watch."
"Listen, this wasn't our idea either. You see…"
"Shut up and pump, dumbass!" growled Paula, her face flushed and her eyes aflame. We stared hard into each other's eyes reflected in the mirror. "After all, this WAS your idea, remember?" At first I couldn't believe my ears but then again, maybe I could. Maybe she really had wanted me all this time just as I had wanted her. Now circumstances had literally forced us into this position. We'd gone way too far to pretend there was nothing there. I broke the stare when I pushed forward hard, filling her completely. I could feel her clamping her muscles down intently trying to squeeze me out just so I could ram back in.
"Nice. Niiiiice!" I could still hear Lacey out of the corner of my mind but I didn't care anymore. For all intents and purposes, Paula and I were alone …at least until our manipulative hostess pushed up against me from behind. She reached around me and began helping Paula stroke her prominent clit, causing her to yelp with each new breath. Lacey's hand also brushed against my erection on the upstrokes and she slipped her hand inside my boxers to rub and squeeze my ass cheeks. In the confined space, we had no choice but to be pressed tightly together.
Building rapidly toward climax already, I was breathing fewer but deeper breaths, each one bringing the mixed, smoky, sweaty scent of our adventures back to me. We were all three getting loud and I briefly noted that surely someone must hear us and see our legs under the edge of the door. I didn't care at that point, you understand. Just noted it. I was ready to come and, in time honored fashion, grunted out "Gonna…Gonna come!"
"Pull out! Pull out!" commanded Lacey!
"Will you stay outa this, bitch? Push in deep, Danny. Shoot inside me! I'm about ready, too! I'm…I'm….OH! OH MY STARS!!!! YesyesyesyesYES!!!!" Goosebumps rose on her ass and her knees buckled. She looked absolutely beautiful.
Behind me, Lacey's fingers had succeeded in getting her to the point of no return at about the same time. She just moaned softly in my ear as she obviously enjoyed the familiar feeling between her own legs.
That set me off. It wasn't easy with Lacey squeezing up against me but I did manage to be rational enough to pull out in spite of Paula's pleas. The moment I did, I fired off several long, white, stringy bursts that coated the Led Zeppelin tattoo on her lower back. Luckily, her skirt was bunched higher up on her back. Lacey scooped up the cream and sucked it off her fingers.
"I can't believe you listened to HER!" said Paula as her breathing tried to return to normal. Lacey slipped a finger into Paula's mouth and she sucked off my come. "Oh, wow! Tasty! But anyway…"
"Hush! I wasn't listening to her, I was trying to think of NOT getting you pregnant, dammit!"
"Look, guys," interrupted our blonde muse, "It's been fun but I have to get back to work now. Thanks for the break." Her skirt already replaced, she was buttoning her shirt while Paula shakily made her way to her feet. Before we knew it, she had slipped out the door and we were alone again.
Paula stood next to me with a twisted, soaking thong partially covering her pussy. My own semi-hard rod was still dripping as it hung out between my legs. We looked at each other as if we were returning to normal. My friend's face blushed and I had trouble making eye contact with her as I asked, What the hell just happened?"
"I can't believe you!" she said with an angry tone rising in her voice.
"I can NOT believe you, Daniel Troy Green!"
"Wait a minute! This was not MY…"
"I sucked you and you fucked me and you never ONCE tried to kiss me!"
"In all the time we've known each other you have NEVER even tried to kiss me and now this! What the FUCK is wrong with you to think…"
I chuckled and grabbed her head, pulling it to me. She stopped in mid-sentence. We spoke three years of unspoken passion with our eyes in a few long seconds. Then my friend closed those beautiful eyes and pursed her lips. I leaned in and our mouths touched lightly, then harder. My head seemed to swim as I tasted the sweetest kiss I had ever tasted. I could feel Paula tremble in my arms.
"Hi, yourself." We just held each other.
"Hey. Why don't we pay for these jeans and go get a cup of coffee or something? I think we've got a lot to talk about."
"I don't know if they fit. I haven't tried ‘em on yet, remember?"
"So. We can try ‘em on back at the apartment. Look at it this way. If they don't fit, we'll have to come back to exchange them."
"Hey! That's right!" Her eyes glowed like she had just had a brilliant idea. "I wonder when Lacey's working again!"