R: The Second Installment

Finally he pulls me back into the room and pushes his jacket off my shoulders. He lets me peel his sweater over his head. We work our way towards the bed. My back is to him and he unzips my dress, one hand pulling the zipper and the other trailing along my spine as it's exposed, feeling where no one has ever touched me before. I stop abruptly and clench my eyes and my fists and my toes in my shoes and all I can do is mumble a little in obscene pleasure before my mouth clenches too and I'm biting my lip. He slides his hands inside and rubs up and down the length of my back. Each stroke starts just below my waist, his hands are big enough to wrap around me tickling my sides as they go up over my ribs, mostly it's just very warm and every time he reaches the top he fans out over my shoulders reaching along my collarbone, pushing the dress a little further off my shoulders. Finally it falls and he steps around me and sits on the bed in front of me. I'm standing in the middle of my dress with my eyes still shut. He's holding my hands lightly. I start to shiver as I feel him looking at me. When I open my eyes and look down at myself it still doesn't seem like my body in the underwear he's bought me. Then he's reaching up and swirling over the mounds of my breasts pushed up above the bra. He inhales deeply. I reach for his jeans and he pulls away again. He runs his fingers down over my stomach, along the line where my panties start, around the sides of my waist. He catches my downcast eyes and tells me that I'm beautiful. Then he unhooks the bra and slides it off and pulls down the panties and holds me steady as I step out of them and my shoes and we kick all of it to the side. He keeps telling me that I'm beautiful when he puts one hand against the center of my chest for me to lean on and runs the other between my legs. It feels even odder without hair there. He keeps telling me that I'm beautiful when he reaches inside me, bringing some wet forward over my clit. More seeps around my lips and I have to put my hands on his shoulders to keep from falling over. He slides one finger in and out and it feels very good. Then two and it's tight but I sigh and start to beg softly for him. He tucks in a third fingertip and starts to just twist at my entrance while dropping his other hand down to rub my clit and distract me from the stretching. I think about how silly I've been all those nights when I thought I couldn't want anything as much as him but then I realize how much that pales to right now.

He lays me down and I'm not even thinking about how I'm naked or how I look or if I'm nervous. It's all there somewhere at the back of my mind but all I can do is reach for him. Finally I catch his belt and he's reached into his pocket and pulled out a condom. And then his belt is off and I've undone his jeans and I'm trying frantically to push them down and off him with my feet and I'm completely unable to undo his shirt buttons. He helps and we're both naked. And I can run my hands over the width of his chest but always I'm tugging at his sides trying to get him over me, or reaching down to stroke his shaft and feel how hard it is but how soft his skin is there and thinking for the umpteenth time what I've been thinking all evening, which is surely this—he—shouldn't be happening to me. I open the condom wrapper and find him and put it on him, but then I realize that I've done it wrong. It breaks my frenzy. I feel stupid and try to fix it.

"It's alright. You're alright. Shh, wait." He gets up and grabs another from his bag. He places it on the head of his cock and when I reach for him he guides my hand as I unroll it. His fingers are back inside me spreading me, with my hands in his hair and his mouth all over his face and neck and breasts. He slips one arm under me, cradling my neck. With the other hand he guides his cock against my pussy, rubbing my wetness against both of us, rubbing the head of his cock in circles around my clit. Finally he places himself at my entrance, pushing a little inside me, and pushes my legs open and flat. Then he strokes my side and kisses me again. I bury my head in his neck as he slowly sinks inside me. At first he doesn't get very far and I think we're both nervous that I'm intact and he'll have to break me. But he's able to slowly sink in. There's a lot of pressure and it doesn't quite feel like I thought it would. He pauses deep inside me, gasping a little. "Fuck you're tight." He works his thumb in between us and starts to rub my clit again. My pussy clenches hard. It burns a lot and I whimper lightly. He moans too. "Are you ok?" I look up at him. His jaw is clenched tight.

"Uh huh," is all I can manage. It doesn't feel good at all but I still want it to be happening.

He moves his hips back slightly, and it burns again. Then he pushes back and the pressure builds. I dig my nails into his back. Slowly it stops burning, and the pressure becomes less unpleasant. Eventually he stops rubbing me, putting both arms around me so that he can lengthen his strokes. For a while it's still uncomfortable, but then gradually it starts to feel sort of okay, and I break my grip on his sides. I look up from his neck just long enough to see him look down at me and mash one more kiss into my lips before his head goes back and he strains and pumps a few times deeply into me. As he comes he grunts out "Mine." When he pulls out it burns once more, but soon he's back next to me, stroking my tummy and laying the gentlest kisses on my face. While it surprised me as much as my earlier outburst must have surprised him, I think about how much I do want to be his.

We get up and he leads me into the bathroom. We step into the shower together and rinse each other. I feel dazed, lightheaded and blown open between my legs. I only want to be close to him and feel like I need him touching me. We don't speak until I'm wrapped in a huge white towel and he's wearing a fluffy robe and we've walked back into the bedroom. He picks up his bag and places it on the bed.

"I think we should try this now. While you're like this. I think it will make it easier." He looks down at me. I'm standing next to him. The fear comes back and all I can do is take his arm with both my hands. He unzips the main compartment of the bag. I see flashes of light colored dress shirts a he pushes them aside, but then it's all dark. He withdraws his promises: a rolled up silk tie, a riding crop, a whip, the graduated butt plug that I had told him excited me when he showed me an online store, two small candles. He takes out dopp kit and pulls out a matchbook and a new tube of lubricant and more condoms. I sigh loudly when he place the lube next to the plug. "I know darling. I know you want it. We will." Lastly he lays and airline sleep mask out on the bedside table next to everything else.

He goes to the closet and gets a heavy wooden trouser hanger, with its two gold clips. Then he tells me to go look at it all. I run my fingers through the flogger tails. I remove the butt plug from its case and hold it up. The first bulb is oblong, then there are three more rings, each getting wider and more doughnut-like, with a slight indentation after each and then a deep slope to a flared base. When I saw it online, I had fantasized about being fucked with the first bulb. It didn't seem very intimidating. I was curious about what it would feel like. But then I had wanted the challenge of being asked to take larger and larger. I had once told him that, while I was sure I would never do it, pictures of women bound in slings and hugely opened turned me on. Lastly I felt the seams of the clips on the hangers. They were currently impossibly tight. Much tighter than the clothespins I had used on myself or the flat, plastic hangers I had tried a few times at home. The whole time he is behind me, stroking my shoulders comfortingly.

"I wasn't sure about these as clamps earlier. Was it too much?"

"It hurt." I mumbled.

"I want to clamp your nipples. It will be worse than your pussy lips."

"I know." I looked up at him. I had trouble explaining even to him why this was what I wanted.

"Off or on?" Earlier he had removed the clips from the hanger.

"On."

"You know you can stop it whenever you want." He gestured towards the tie and mask, together on the table. "What about those?" I didn't understand why I was letting—almost asking—him to inflict extreme levels of pain on me, pain that I knew would quite possibly be unbearable for me, but at the same time what I was really scared of was being tied and blindfolded.

"Umm."

"That's alright. I won't even use everything tonight. We have all weekend. Let me know when you decide, either way." I was so happy that he had decided to stay the weekend. We had never even discussed it. Even before, when he was inside me, I was worried that it wasn't very good and that he would surely leave tomorrow morning.

I responded by laying down, still wrapped in the towel, my knees bent up. "I know I didn't mean anything, but...you know. Anything."

"I know." He said back. And then we had started. First he picked up the flogger. He opened my towel and ran the tails all over my front, over my breasts, even over my face, letting me smell the leather. Then the crop. He tapped me with it, flicking my nipples, never hard, never hurting. He stood at the bottom of the bed and spread my legs, running the crop over my pussy, up and down between my legs. The black triangular leather head looked interesting against my very white skin. He flipped it around. There was a silver cap on top, smooth and rounded, which he rubbed around my clit until I was soaking again and mewling for him not to stop. "You won't get that for a long time," he said. Then he quickly flicked the crop around and delivered my first—and only—serious blow of the night. A quick, sharp smack to the top of my pussy, right where my lips met, that completely broke my arousal. My eyes jolted open and I lay stunned and rigid. "Do you want to stop?"

I was silent for a long time. He put the crop down and sat on the bed near me, petting me. Stroking the skin he had pinkened. I hadn't liked the smack. It didn't feel good. I suppose I knew it would hurt, but I also thought that it would be like other things we had tried, where it hurt but it had also made want for more. This didn't. But I didn't want to stop, either. I shook my head. "Come over my lap."

Gingerly getting up, I arranged myself over his terryclothed lap, butt in the air. The blood rushed to my head and I might have preferred another position, but I wasn't sure how to say anything so I didn't. He started by running his hand over my bottom. Before I could even think of the things that I really wanted, I heard the lube pop open and felt coldness against my hole. I tightened up instinctively. "You have to relax." He wound one finger around and around my hole. I tried to focus on easing my clenching, and soon he had slid in. This too burned and I tightened once more. He continuously murmured at me to relax under his breath. It never completely stopped burning, but soon there was a delicious tingling going all up and down from my clit and spreading out. He was also starting to harden underneath me. He picked up the plug and I felt the first bulb against my slippery hole. While it went in easily, this was bigger, and as it descended into me I felt myself close up around it. I wiggled my bottom, trying to get him to pump the plug in and out of me. Instead he slapped me lightly across my bottom until I felt flushed from the top of my thighs to my lower back. Then he removed the plug and helped me stand. I stumbled to my knees in front of him and started to stroke his cock. He threw me a pillow to slide under my knees, "Just a little bit."

This time he guided me more, telling me when to suck and when to relax my mouth and let him thrust into me. He showed me how hard to grip and where to touch and lick him. Then he pulled my head away and pulled me up. I sat down next to him. I was getting tired and let my head fall against his shoulder. "Will you hurt me?" I had tried to think of a better way of putting it, but ultimately that's what it was. He started tenderly stroking and kissing my neck and face, and I handed him the blindfold and tie. He nodded, smiled a half smile, reminded me that I could stop or slow things down for the last time, and then covered my eyes and tied my hands above my head. He also told me to be completely silent no matter what, that the only noise I was allowed to make was to say yellow or red. He went back to touching me lightly. He even let me suck him, reaching up and leaving my mouth slack as he stood next to the bed and moved my head against him by the back of my hair. He pulled away and next I felt him below me, with his fingers in me, everywhere in me. Then he stopped and took a deep breath and quickly he had pinched one of my already hard nipples and began slowly, slowly allowing the tight vise of the hanger to close around it. I knew from trying it myself that the only thing worse than this would be if he had allowed the clip to quickly snap close. I almost screamed out but the pain was so intense that even my scream stuck in my throat. Then I felt him twisting and pulling as he aligned the second clamp, and I was sure my nipple was being crushed. When he grasped the second and slowly closed the other clamp on it, the pain exploded again, but tenfold. I could only gasp for breath and wait for the horrible crashing pain to subside to what I hoped would come. Then it did; instead of hammering around me the pain just seeped through me. Everything became fuzzy and I couldn't think. I vaguely felt him touching me. I heard him leave my side, and worried briefly until I felt him return and then felt something being very gently rubbed into me. He went up over my chest, being careful not to disturb the clips, and then more firmly down over my stomach and over my pussy. When he began to circle my clit I allowed my eyes to slip closed behind the blindfold and there wasn't anymore pain at all. All I felt was a lovely tingly heat coming from the clamps.

Instantly it stopped and was replaced by a sharp stinging on my stomach. When I tried to move away from it the weight of the hanger connected to the clips sent further waves of pain through me. The stings were unevenly spaced, sometimes brief and intense and spaced out, other times more continuous. They moved from my stomach up over my chest. I gasped each time I was stung near where the clamps gripped my nipples. It took a while to realize that it was the wax. Then as soon as I understood what was happening a second source of the stinging hit the top of my pussy and down over my pussy lips. I jerked hard and then stars erupted behind the blindfold as the hanger on my nipples jarred again. Remembering the second candle, it registered that he was using both on me at the same time.

The stings slowly turned to a warming feeling and then stopped. Left with just the clips on my nipples and no other distractions, I started to become extremely uncomfortable. Richard had returned to gently touching me, but even so my discomfort became evident from my whimpering and trying to shift away from the feeling of the clamps, which at this point was mostly a dull, almost numb but ultimately profound aching. I tried to take it; a part of me even wanted more. I liked that I had become completely paralyzed, completely unable to think straight or at all. But another part of me started to panic and could only focus on the livid tentacles of pain that were shooting throughout my body.

"Maybe...maybe...I think yellow."

"Off?"

"Yeah..." I could barely choke it out. When he took them off, they clung stickily to my skin and pinched where the wax had dripped over them. I squeaked and squirmed and finally quieted under his gentle kneading. Thankfully I had a break while he went about peeling the wax from me. I could feel him lifting it off in large sections; my skin underneath felt cold and a bit raw. For the first time I realized that I was clutching tightly to the knots that bound my wrists, my toes were curled, and my head was tilted back, pressed firmly into the pillows. I hadn't taken a solid breath since the clamps had cut into me. Allowing myself to relax for the first time since he had bound me, I crumpled into the sheets and closed my eyes again beneath the blindfold. I'd never describe myself as a terribly introspective person, but it struck me that, even though being bound had frightened me at first, I now loved the way it made me feel. I loved the way the night had progressed. I had been afraid that all the things that I had fantasized about for years would never come true, and now they were. But I hadn't had to take responsibility for wanting them. By tying me, he had made it simply happen. Behind the blindfold I even worried less about what I looked like; I was unable to try to read his face, and when I would feel him touching me I was less scared, and really only grateful that he wasn't not touching me.

"Do you need a break?"

I grunted affirmatively, and felt my wrists being untied. He lifted the blindfold from my eyes and I realized the lights had been turned off, leaving only the spotlights on the terrace and the bathroom lights to illuminate the room.

Again we were on our sides, facing each other, as we had been earlier in the day. This time, though, I had none of the desire for distance that I had had earlier. I slid over into his arms, burying my head under his chin. My nipples still hurt when they rubbed up against his chest. We stayed like that for a while.

"Did you like that?"

I nodded languidly and lifted my leg over his hip, entwining my other foot with his calf, but I started to worry about doing that, about feeling like I wanted to be close to him, about my belief that that was a relationship-y thing to do and he wasn't into that and maybe it would annoy him. I stopped worrying when I felt the head of his hardening cock pushing into my stomach. He wrapped his arm around me and pulled me closer to him, and dropped his hand between my legs and pulled some of the moisture from inside of me out, spreading it around the entrance to my pussy and rubbing over my clit until I had settled even more tightly into the space under his neck and was rubbing my hips back into his fingers. Then he stopped, reaching for another condom from the bedside table. He pushed me flat on my back and covered me, pushing slowly into me and starting to thrust. This time it was only a little uncomfortable at first, and soon it merely felt good. I wrapped my legs around his hips and tried to find a rhythm with him. Just as I felt I was figuring it out, though, he had pulled out of me completely and was sitting up between my legs. I wanted him back inside me so badly, but as I tried to pull him back down to me he reached for the lube and his fingers started rubbing around my ass again. I tried to relax and his finger slipped in easily. Then he added another and I grabbed the pillow to muffle myself. When I began to push back he added a third.

"Be helpful and pass me that pillow, darling." I peeked out at him from behind the pillow and he reach out to grab it, smiling slightly. "A few more, please." I handed him two more pillows from behind me, the movement making his fingers twist inside me and sending chilly, delightful feelings all throughout my pelvis while at the same time aggravating my still sore nipples. I pulled the last pillow down and underneath my head as he withdrew his fingers from me. Quickly wiping them on the discarded towel, he lifted my hips and stacked the pillows under me. I watched him grab the lube again and for the first time in a while that night all my nervousness returned to me. He spread lube over his cock. Seeing it now, hugely hard, glistening, standing away from his body, made me want him even more. I felt the coolness of the lube tip against my butt and then even more gel being spread around me and squirted inside of me. He kneeled in front of me and pulled my calves up over his shoulders. I felt the head of his cock at my hole and bit my bottom lip as I looked up at him. I tried to reach him but couldn't, so I left my hands flat at my sides. He grabbed my hips and slowly started to open me. At first it felt amazing. My whole pussy throbbed with the feeling of being opened, and seeing his long body hover above me, imagining what we looked like, me smaller and prone in front of him as he lurched over me, sliding himself into me, controlling my body for his pleasure, clouded my mind with lust. Then it felt like I was being stabbed. It hurt deep inside of me, sharp and localized and while I was trying to remain silent I couldn't help but grunt a little. He stopped abruptly and told me to relax, letting my body accommodate him. He reached around my legs and rubbed my clit a little, and slid a thumb absentmindedly into my pussy. "You want this."