Rewind

Terry and I left that final interview with the police arm in arm to happily spend the rest of our lives together.

***

TEN YEARS LATER

A lot happened to us in those intervening years. Our beautiful daughter Mia was conceived the first weekend after I was released by the police. I informed Terry, when she found out she was pregnant for the first time, that I would give up my work in the lab and devote my life solely to looking after her. I became her personal assistant. It was a logical move, I was good with fine details, with logging results, scheduling meetings and lectures, keeping her diary up to the mark, yet shielding her from the excessive demands of those around her.

I helped her with her research, checking details, consulting other experts on her behalf while tracking down and obtaining permissions to include photographs of artefacts and confirmations of opinions on supporting areas of expertise. I researched images for inclusion in her latest books. I proof read them, correlated references and footnotes, suggested alternative wording and order of setting out the information to the extent that Terry insisted these researches were now collaborations and the next book was therefore co-authored.

That first effort, "Shining Light on The Dark", a popular history of the medieval period, was a best seller acclaimed both academically and by popular demand. The framework of that book had already been penned by Terry, then during her pregnancy confinement and Mia's first year, we filled it out with references and illustrations and contributed supporting arguments from the leading experts. The hardback was published in October and reprinted three times before Christmas to satisfy demand. The paperback scheduled for the following year was rushed through before mid-December and was immediately stripped from the shelves.

The Open University signed us up as a team and we filmed a six-part series racing through the enormous breadth of the subject matter of the book. By then Mia was two and appeared in a good proportion of the shots as her beautiful mother mesmerised audiences with her looks, voice, charm and easy comfortable way of explaining the complexity of the language and life of our ancestors.

She won the Nobel Prize for Literature that year, which opened further possibilities and opportunities which were discussed from time to time over the next couple of years.

A second TV series followed, still covering "Shining" as we came to call it, by which time Terry was carrying our second child Daniel. Our second coffee table book, "Field and Feudal", was not recognised as outstanding by Nobel, as the literature prize that year was shared by a French poet and Swedish playwright. But that second book was once again critically acclaimed and led to Hollywood scrambling for the documentary rights. In the end we settled for a small British-based company with backing by Lottery funding. We waved any upfront signing fee or appearance money for a good share of the profits, which kept the production costs down. The filmed documentary included playacted scenes of certain events, starring short cameos by many top-line British and European actors, who also gave their services free or for small shares of the cut. When it was released, about nine months ago, cinemas were inundated, leading to a resurgence in book sales and repeats of "Shining" on the box. Translations of all books and videos were now popping up all over the place.

Terry's academic reputation was never higher, I was even given an honorary doctorate by, of all places, Yale. Mia accompanied me and accepted the scroll on my behalf, especially joyous to my little family as our nine-year-old is already much brighter than I'll ever be.

The "Field" was nominated for an Oscar in the documentary division and the ceremony was just three weeks away when Terry's waters broke. As arranged, nine-year-old Mia and five-year-old Daniel were collected by Mum and Dad while Terry and I hot-footed it to Oxford's maternity wing.

The midwife did a couple more checks, timed the latest contractions and expressed delight with the ways things were going for Terry, saying casually that she would be back in twenty minutes or so to check again. I was hardly sanguine, even our third time and I still had the same palpitations as I had at the first.

So tempting to fast forward and get it all over, wasn't it? But Terry couldn't come with me and avoid the pain if I did that, so I wouldn't, I couldn't.

She was having another pain spasm, which she took in her stride, grasping my hand for a minute or two. She looked at me afterwards, as we sat there, smiling at each other. We always seemed to be smiling. I liked our life, I liked it a bundle.

"Do you ever wish, darling," she said, shaking my hand, her beautiful face concerned, "That you could have your life over and not spend all your time looking after me so well as you do?"

"Never," I said, "My life with you and the kids is nothing short of perfect, I wouldn't change a breath or a hair, not a dot or a comma. What about you, would you have liked to do over your life, perhaps rewind and go down a different path?"

"Of course not! As you said, life for us is perfect. It's just that this baby seems to be bigger than the other two combined, my skin isn't as supple as it was and I think I'm going to have hideous stretch marks."

"Honey, those tiny marks you may or may not end up with are badges of honour, like your Nobel prize or PhD. I promise you that I will kiss every mark until it's better every time I see it, nothing will give me more pleasure."

"So long as that doesn't lead to more babies, I know you far too well!" Terry laughed as she pretended to punch me on the chin. I kissed her knuckles and then her stomach.

***

Terry was exhausted, 16 hours later. Our third child, Jake, short for Jacob Henry Donaldson, the young challenger in the blue corner, weighed in at a whopping 8lbs 12ozs. He had completed his very first feed and had just been wheeled off to the baby care unit for a few short hours while the mother rested.

We were alone for a few moments. Enough time to settle her down before I scooted home for a shower and a couple of hours' sleep. Then I'd collect our other two kids and grandparents and get back for visiting time. Terry had been dozing heavy eye lidded while the nurse fussed around, but now she looked alert and gave me that look. You know the one, where she's about to quiz you while slapping a rolling pin in the palm of her hand?

"Honey," she opened the conversation. At least, I thought, that's a promising opening. "It's been ten years. Ten years last week."

"Yes, I know."

No point in beating about the bush of course. I was more than aware it had been ten years and several newspapers had reported the fact. One had even published a three-page article with another mind-boggingly outrageous theory expounded. I had only bothered to read the headline, which was enough to confirm it was complete rubbish.

"I didn't want to say anything with Jake's arrival so close. I know I have never asked and you've never volunteered, but ..."

"But?"

"It is, as far as I know, the only secret between us, plus, I suspect, one other secondary secret which I believe is very closely related to the first, am I correct?"

"Absolutely, my dear," I agreed, "We have no other secrets on my part other than those two. Although I have got you an anniversary present hidden away for two weeks' time, if you can count that?"

"I think for the present I can ignore that one. There are no secrets at all on my part, but then ..." she smiled and gripped my hand, "I do not have the same burden on me of feeling the need to be as protective of my spouse as you are."

"I think it comes with the job, darling."

"Jobs, more like, honey. Let's see, loving husband, perfectly considerate lover, very best friend, doting father, efficient personal secretary, driven researcher and co-author, family protector and all round shining white knight."

"Just the one fault, then, sweetheart, in the shape of a couple of er ... secrets."

"I wouldn't call them faults, as I believe they are being kept for my own wellbeing."

"They were, but as you say, ten years is a long time." I agreed, "Even so, I really have no idea what passage of time would ever make us completely safe."

"Well, I have no idea what the danger is or where it would come from. I do know that you have borne the burden totally and protected me and the children from whatever it is, but I have no idea what I need protecting from, although I do believe from whom. Would it make a difference what I do or don't know?"

"I have no problem telling you anything and everything," I said, "But you may not like me very much when I tell you. I'm quite afraid that you will hate me, Terry - and if you did ... I wouldn't blame you."

"I love you," she said holding my hand in an iron grip, "My love for you is unshakeable. Trust me, hon, I know you, everything you have ever done has been for our babies and me. Tell me everything."

"You never asked before, but now you are, I can't deny you, of course, but you will think my story fantastic and implausible."

"Sweetheart, don't forget, I saw you in the mall earlier that day, wet, frozen, wearing your ruined tux. I remember getting you a change of clothing and we stuffed your tux in a waste bin. Then you left on the train. When I got home, your one and only tux was still hanging in our wardrobe. Whatever your story is, I am rather expecting it to be fantastic and implausible. I might even be disappointed if it's not." Terry managed to smile, she was alert now, tired but alive and, as ever, quite beautiful.

How could I ever refuse her anything?

"Who was this Doctor Curtis, and what was he to us, the man who disappeared immediately after you struck him, and why did you hit him in the first place?"

"To explain that I need to tell you about deja vu."

"I am aware of that phenomenon, and have imagined I'd experienced it a couple of times, myself."

"Then you know that lots of people have been aware of the same scene playing out, one that they thought they had seen before, like rewinding a video tape or movie file."

"Yes, lots of people experience deja vu."

"I think all humans have an inbuilt but latent ability to replay a scene in reality, with only a vague memory of the first experience. Most people have done it, I suspect, without realising, like the war hero doing the bravest thing and ending up without a scratch; he may have been chewed up in the rehearsal but succeeded in the retake."

"What?!"

"Answer me this, Terry; you know how sometimes you do or say something you regret and, you think, if you could just rewind time a few seconds or minutes and undo that stupid thing, you would?"

"It depends on the mistake to put right and I have thought about it, but whether such a thing is possible, we are in the realms of science fiction now."

"We appear to be. If we assume that rewinding and redoing a period of time is possible, what if your loved one was, without his or her knowledge, seduced both by drugs and by trial and error time manipulation, used by someone with evil intent, and done so subtly that it was months before it became apparent, by which time the abuse of the partner was so advanced that it was impossible to salvage the situation? How far would you go to try and put things right?"

"I don't know," Terry bit her lip, "you are worrying me, Bobby."

"OK, that was a complicated and unfair question, honey, because of course you don't know. You would never know how you would react. Imagine a situation where we were married before the children arrived and we had a stand-up row that you engineered about something and I walked out and we were apart for five months without even a single word between us?"

"That would never happen, Bobby, you are my life, I would find you wherever you ran off to and knock some sense into you."

"You wouldn't if you were being mind controlled by a new lover, not here, but in an alternative universe."

"Oh!" She looked shocked. "When is the timeframe of this alternative universe?"

"About a year after the tux incident. We didn't have Mia, our children didn't exist in that world, in fact they never would as I had lost you to a rival."

"This Curtis chap was my new lover?"

"Yes, I just knew him as Clinton, I met him for the first time at a dinner party a couple of hours before the tux incident."

"Hence the tux ..."

"Yes. I had discovered that I could rewind time a few days earlier, when I was living at Mum's. I had lost my job six months earlier -"

"- But Professor Josephs promised -"

"I think Clinton and Chantelle engineered my dismissal."

"Wondered when Chantelle would come into it," she smiled, her face tired, concerned, but not unhappy.

"Secret number two, I'm afraid."

"So it was you who ... shopped her to the police?"

"Even without Clinton she was still preying on innocent young men."

"Including you, honey?" she teased as she patted her still-distended belly, "Fond of the fuller-figured woman, are we?"

"Only you, sweetheart, only you." I kissed her hand as it rested on her stomach. "I was never in her clutches, but apparently she had designs of that nature on me."

"I can't blame her, you are quite a catch, but you're MY catch, remember," Terry pulled my hand from her belly to her lips. "Go on, honey."

"I thought at the time I was the only one who could do this time rewind business. I had been feeling at my lowest after we split and descended into being a sad poor drunk."

"Honey!"

"Well, my parents were at the end of their tether with me, so I cheered them up with a little help from time reworking. Then I got a job, using this power and thought about getting us together again. Before I could even ring you, though ... well, not you exactly, but the Terry from the alternative universe ... I got a call from the other Terry out of the blue inviting me to this dinner party."

"Mmm, you hate dinner parties."

"Once upon a time I didn't mind them, we met at a dinner party."

"True." she smirked, "Did you use this ... power ... on me, sorry the other Terry?"

"I have never used this power on you, never have and never would. It is a power that is so dangerous I have resolved never to use it again, I was prepared to go to prison rather than risk losing you again. Yes, I did use it on that Terry almost as soon as I saw her at the door of the apartment. She treated me like dirt, chucking my flowers on the hall table."

"So sorry, my dearest Bobby, I ... she ... couldn't have been in her right mind."

"She wasn't, although the extent of her alienation wasn't apparent at that time, I just assumed she was still pissed off at me, that this was just between us as a couple. I didn't have to stand for that attitude anymore, so I wound back time a bit and knocked on the door again and this time I took charge."

"I bet you bossed her about!" she laughed, "That's the Bobby I know! In a nice way though, I'd be lost without you organising everything for me."

I laughed with her.

"You know me so well! Yes, I took that other Terry in my arms and kissed her. At that time I wasn't aware of conflicting timelines, so I thought of her as 'you'. Then I marched past her and put the flowers properly in water. She was a bit pissed off!"

"Did she pout like this?" She theatrically twisted her lips.

"Almost exactly like that, sweetheart. But Clinton's version of Terry wasn't you. I had lost her forever, she was his and I later found out she was carrying his child. That was the reason for inviting me to the party. They both lured me there and wanted to boast about it and rub it in my face. They were so vindictive. Then he was going to use her as a sex object for his friends, in front of me, while he in turn subjected me to Chantelle's attentions. He had even arranged for me to be sodomised in front of you by a guy name Manuel."

"God! How evil was he?"

"Totally consumed by the power of time manipulation. He had been doing it for 30 years ... actually, he squeezed that thirty years into less than three years of our conception of time."

"That's why his parents said he was only twelve!"

We both remembered the faces of Clinton's parents who came over to find out what happened to their son.

"Thirteen, actually, but you've got it." I said quietly, full of admiration for the intelligence of my wife, my one true love.

"My god! It is so fantastic, but it all fits, it is actually possible!"

"It is and it isn't. You cannot mess with time. It messed with Clinton big time, he was corrupted by the power."

"He must've thought he could do anything, didn't he? Thought he was all-powerful and didn't realise that you could do it as well!" she exclaimed, everything falling into place for her. "Only he wasn't as strong as you, darling. He needed the power to enforce his evil intent. You were strong enough to resist using it, you limited it just to try and put things right for others and were prepared to pay the price for it."

"I love you, sweetheart, I would do anything for you, you know that."

"I love you too, you were always my hero, even before this. I knew you had done something noble, I just didn't have the details."

"It was hardly noble, I thought I was powerless. He was lording his mastery of it in front of me. I hadn't even grasped the concept that you could pause and fast forward as well as rewind."

"Wow!"

"I had to think fast. The other Terry was virtually out of it on a cocktail of Chantelle's sex drugs and was about to be raped. Clinton was naked so I hit him and we fast forwarded into the future, where I dumped him, and left him for dead ... twice." I looked Terry in the eye. "You've been living with a murderer for ten years, my love."

"You can never call yourself that, sweetheart," she held out both arms and I was drawn to her breast. She kissed my head. "You were protecting your family, and I am so proud of you. So, you left the other Terry where she was and came to find me?"

"I did. Before I left her I kissed my fingers and put them on her lips, but she wasn't aware of what was going on. I could only hope that the shock of Clinton and I disappearing without trace would bring them all to their senses. It meant that my other parents had lost their son and the other Terry would at least be left with the choice of being a single mum or terminating Clinton's child. I was already out of the picture as far as she was concerned. I didn't even know if I would be able to return on that timeline anyway."

"So you came back for me?"

"I went back to exactly one year before and reappeared in that shopping centre. I was in the middle of a blizzard one minute, running through trees to put distance between Clinton and myself before coming back."

"How do you do it, this time travel thingy?"

"It was as simple as thinking about it and wanting it so badly that ... it happens. Once I had checked that I hadn't brought Clinton back with me in Oxford, I couldn't be sure if he hadn't come back to my time within his existing body, which was then residing in Cambridge. As soon as I saw you back in the mall I was aware that I must have gone with you there earlier and you had left me at the cafe, so the way the timeline rewind works means you occupy the same body in that timeline. It prevents there being two of you. However you return not as you were in the past but how you are at the time of rewinding."

"Hence the tux you were wearing and the snow and ice, where did you come from, honey?"

"I think it was an ice age, in thirty thousand years. There were wolves the second time I went there."

"From Cambridge?"

"Yes. If he was the same Clinton that had come back, like me in my tux, I think he would have recognised me as I walked towards him, holding out my hand in greeting. He looked ten years younger -"