Sandalwood

My jaw dropped as I felt his erection growing against mine. My cheeks coloured and my breath caught. Chris carried on staring back at me, his eyelids now halfway closed. Another jerk and I felt us rub intimately against each other. I had to grit my teeth to keep silent. My jaw was flexing hard under my skin whilst my heart raced.

He looked so aroused, his face passive and almost half asleep until you noticed the burning eyes.

His hard on rubbed through our trousers reaching mine and the friction was almost unbearable. I found my breath getting hotter and more urgent. To an outsider I might have just looked hot and irritated but I was struggling to control myself with the very last threads of my dignity. Another hard jerk and he had almost fallen onto me, his gasp making its way into my open mouth. We were so close now we tasted the exchange of our breath in short little whispers.

Then the train took off again. The faster it ran along the track the more rhythmic the motion was. I found myself rubbing up against Chris in smooth regular intervals, which was driving me further and further out of control. His eyes grew very dark. I was so close to cumming. I really couldn't be doing this in a train. I felt his fingers reach out to touch mine. I looked about and noticed that no one was able to see this exchange.

He placed my hand on his hip and cupped my backside, pulling me a fraction closer. I was about to blow when a loud announcement came over the train speaker.

'WE WILL BE ARRIVING SHORTLY AT-'

Then the sound drowned out as I ground against Chris slowly. His hand squeezed my ass closer as he closed his eyes. He shuddered. I felt his dick getting huge then wet against mine. My mouth trembled as I shot my load into my trousers, feeling his body pressed tight against mine. My hand griped his ass back. I ground into him one last time.

My head fell forward a little slowly taking in air and recovering from the mind-blowing orgasm. My wet dick felt so sensitive against the material of my pants.

I woke up sharply from the dream. What had we just done and on public transport? Shit! Soon the police would be taking down our details and people would be shouting 'pervert'. I looked around wildly and couldn't believe my eyes. No one had bothered to look up. People were reading or sleeping or looking bored as if nothing had happened.

'STAND BACK FROM THE DOORS WHEN THIS TRAIN...'

That's right, I realised- the announcement. It had been loud and had drowned out our illicit affair. I looked back at Chris and he returned my gaze lazily.

His hand let go of my ass and found their way to my hand and clasped my fingers gently. His expression remained stony but his eyes turned liquid. I swallowed hard.

I quickly withdrew my hand. What had I done? Again? With this man! I looked back at him, ashamed and confused. What had he done to me?

The doors opened and I left almost pushing a woman over. I used my jacket to cover my wet crotch and walked hurriedly home, never looking back.

When I got back home I was relieved to find myself alone. I sat down on the couch, where I had been sleeping for a week now. My head fell into my hands and I cried. After an indeterminable time I fell asleep from exhaustion.

In the mists of my dreams I felt sweat lips tenderly kiss mine. I was lying in the sunshine being showered with patient, tender kisses. I felt myself respond. Slowly at first but the desire built steadily. My kisses became hungry and I was met with the same response. My breath quickened and my eyes fluttered open.

It was dark and she was so very near. My arms came up and cradled her. My head ducked down and started kissing her neck. She moaned softly, in her delicious way. My hands slide up over her breasts and I grabbed them hungrily.

Her shift came off and my shirt and trousers were lost in the pink fog that continued to drive me on. I was on top of her and eager to enter. I saw her lean back, aching with need. I needed to fill her now. I drove forward hard and I heard Hilary moan in response. She was so wet. I buried my face in her neck pumping into her with dire need. But her moans were distracting me.

I turned her over and entered her again. Her moans were muffled and I watched her squirming back as I drove rhythmically into her again and again. A lean white snake-like back came dancing into my vision and I shook my head hard, trying to get it out. My eyes refocused on my wife's back and I tried to continue to make love to her. But her loud moan made me freeze. I put my hand around and clasped her mouth, trying to pump harder, trying to drive the need that was failing in me. I needed to do this; I just needed to get this done. If I couldn't, I felt I would be lost forever.

She pushed back against me and my vigour renewed. I was screwing my wife. It was the most natural thing in the world. Everything would be ok. I just needed to...

A flash in my mind's eye and scrunched up my face trying to block it out. My desire was flickering on and off and every part of me was trying desperately hard to resurrect it. I pumped harder into her and she cried out a moan. That was it. I had lost it. The veil had fallen between us and I stilled. Her body flexed realising the change in me. I pulled out of her, soft.

'Baby?' She murmured. I got up and went to the bathroom. I locked the door and took a shower. I heard her moving around the apartment hesitantly. I felt so empty. There was nothing of me there for her. I prayed that she had gone to bed and that I wouldn't have to face her.

I just needed some time to figure things out. She needed to leave me alone.

I walked out and she was sitting there facing me.

Oh god, I couldn't be dealing with this now.

'What's wrong baby, you've been acting strange all week?'

God I hated when she called me that. It had never got on my nerves as much as now.

'It's work Hillary, I just am a little tired.' I mumbled in reply. But she continued to give me that irritating searching look. Just stop looking at me! I was screaming inside. If she looked hard enough maybe she would see what I had done.

'I need to sleep.' I mumbled apologetically. I went into the bedroom and lay down on our bed. She was a least a little happier that I had rejoined her now in our bed after sleeping so long on the couch. For her this was a little victory. For me it was signalling the end.

As I thought about our marriage, I wondered what it was that had first attracted me to her. She was very sweet and loving. She did everything I wanted. It was so perfect. And yet somehow I felt so little for her. I was afraid I would hurt her like I had Chris. I didn't want to hurt her. But if I continued I would, over days and months, break her down. There was love there. Not passion or desire but a need to protect her.

My life was being wrecked from the inside out. I lay there in the dark holding myself accountable for everything. I couldn't blame Chris; it had also been my reaction to him. I had discovered a side of me that I felt repulsive about. I had used force; I had been exactly all that I hated.

Depravity and violence appalled me.

In the early hours of the dawn I managed to consider a solution. I would have to go away.