Secrets

The only upsets were when once in a long time something would come up about that one night, then Dana would go into a sulk or become angry.

Angry enough that she would stay at the school even though she could have been home with him for a day or so.

Several times, around once or twice a year she would use that as an excuse to go visit her folks, who now lived over a thousand miles away.

Dan actually did not mind the few days alone, and he knew that would end soon since Dana only had a few months to go.

When she was home, she was always eager to be close to him, it was like they would have a few days of wonderful times, then right back to being apart as much as they were together.

Then one day while Dana was gone he happened to run into one of the guys that had been a part of the party crowd back in the wild and crazy days. His name was Ben, a round faced but happy go lucky type of guy that somehow managed to snag more good looking women than even the jock types could manage to do.

Dana was off to her Mom's place, so Dan readily accepted Ben's idea of having a few snorts. The bar was one he knew very well, he spent quite a bit of time there, but he never really drank much.

They were on their second beer, just talking about all of the mayhem of the earlier days when Ben asked about Dana.

"How are you two getting along, you lucky bastard?" Ben asked with a grin.

"Fine. She takes streaks of being moody but she keeps a good house and takes good care of me." Dan answered, not really wanting to mention that most of the household chores fell to himself.

"I'll just bet!" Ben grinned.

"What do you mean by that?"

"All the guys wanted a crack at Dana, she is a stone fox." Ben said, reaching for his beer.

"Yes, that is for sure."

"I took her out a couple of times a month or so after you guys broke up, you know." Ben said.

"Oh? I didn't know that." Dan felt himself tense up. Ben picked up on his body language instantly.

"Relax, we didn't do anything, not really."

"What do you mean by "not really"? Dan asked.

"Just neck a little bit, no big deal. She wouldn't let anybody...you know..but she sure would give a hand job that would blow your mind." He laughed.

Then Ben caught the look on Dan's face.

"But hey, none of us were virgins. Most of the gals would take care of their date, just the way things were. Then later when I saw she was knocked up, I figured it was you anyway...." His voice broke off.

Dan stared at Ben.

"Knocked up? You mean pregnant?"

"Yea, you knew about that, didn't you?"

"No. I didn't." Dan stood up.

"Oh, fuck! Hey, I'm sorry, man. I guess I should have kept my big mouth shut. That stuff is no big deal, I mean, everybody did everybody back then, one way or another. I was sure it was you, all she ever did was talk about you anyway."

"I guess so. But what happened? You mean she had a baby?"

"I don't know. A couple of days later she was gone, I heard she went to nursing school is all. Hell, we all were sure it was you."

Dan stared at Ben for a moment, then left and went home.

He sat in his chair and thought about what Ben had said.

"Knocked up?" What in the hell was Ben talking about?

+++

Dana had been home for two full days, Dan had thought of the conversation he wanted to have with her 50 different ways by then.

"I ran into Ben the other day." He said to her finally.

"Who?" She asked, her expression blank.

"You remember Ben, he was around a lot back when we were kids."

"Ben? Oh, Ben Carlton? How is he doing?" She asked. Dan saw the question in her eyes.

"OK, I guess. He told me that you and he dated a few times."

"Yes, we did. I dated several guys after you and I...." Dana looked at Dan carefully.

"We never did anything! What did he tell you?" She asked.

"He said that, but he also said that you...you gave him hand jobs." Ben said.

Dana blushed furiously.

"Yes, I did. You know how boys are, they pester all the time, it was just...easier. I did it with you, too."

"You told me you never did." Dan said flatly. Dana blushed at that, and got a painful look on her face.

"I'm sorry, Danny. I didn't want to...upset you, is all. We weren't together then. I didn't think we ever would be. I guess I was just...looking? Are you mad about that?"

"No. Not really. But he said a funny thing."

"Like what?"

"He told me you were knocked up."

Dana flushed bright red.

"Oh, God!" She broke down into tears, turned and went into the bedroom.

"Dana, we need to talk about that." Dan called out through the door.

She didn't answer.

After a half hour of trying with no response, Dan blew his stack, went out and got into his car and left. Finding a motel room, he rented it and spent a fitful night.

+++

There was no answer when he called their house the next morning, and no one there when he pulled into their driveway.

Checking the closets, nearly everything appeared to be there.

A call to her Mother's house just started more fuss, her Mother said rather coldly that she had no idea where Dana was.

Then her Dad came on the phone.

"What did you do this time?" The man demanded loudly.

"I didn't do anything." Dan told him.

"I have about had it with you, I told her not to marry you, that sure as hell you would cheat again. So help me, if you have hurt my Dana again I will...."

Dan hung up on him.

There was no choice but to go on in to work, at least if he wanted his job. But his mind was not on work at all.

"Knocked up?" Ben had told him.

There was nearly a full year in there where he had not seen Dana at all. What in the world had happened? If that were true, how could she keep something like that from him?

If Dana did have a child, where was it? And it most certainly could not be his?

Searching everywhere he could think of over the rest of the week came up with nothing. Dan called everyone he could think of, no one knew where she was.

By Saturday morning he was about to hire a private detective, then Dana's car pulled into the driveway.

+++

"Where have you been?" He demanded.

"I was staying...with friends." She answered.

"Who?" He asked.

"I will get to that. Right now we need to talk." She appeared to be determined.

She sat down on the couch, Dan went over to his chair and sat, waiting.

"I had a baby, a baby girl." She told him.

"That part I have figured out."

"I should have told you, but I was afraid of how you would react." She said. Dan could see she was struggling to keep herself composed.

"Honey, We weren't together, things happen. If you had just told me..." Dan began.

"It's worse than that, Danny." She looked down.

"How can it be much worse? You should have just told me, that's the part I don't get."

"She is....Doug's." She blurted out.

"Doug?" Dan felt shock pour over him.

"It was that night, the party? You were gone, I asked and no one was saying anything and then finally one of the girls told me you left with...Sherry." She looked up at him.

"Oh, God." Dan muttered.

"I had made up my mind, I had decided to let you...I was ready, I had even bought some..condoms, and you..." She started to cry.

Dan just looked at her.

"Doug...he and I..I don't know what happened, really. He gave me a ride home, then he kissed me and one thing led to another. I even..forgot the condoms I had in my purse." Dana now looked like she was about to cry.

"Doug? For God's sakes, anyone on the planet but him!" Dan said.

"I know. I know, honey. That's why I never told you, I was terrified."

"Damn it, I am your husband!"

"Yes, I know. But let me finish. When I called and found out that you and Sherry...?" Dana paused for a moment.

"I was mad at you and feeling awful at the same time and we broke up. Then I found out I was....I didn't know what to do. Doug was nice to me and took care of everything. Mom and Dad sent me away to Grandma's, I had little Danielle. Doug was upset because I named her that but I wanted to."

"Where is she?" Dan asked.

"Doug has custody. You know, he really is not a bad guy, he just has a cocky attitude and has always gotten his way. But he treats her well, and he took over bringing her up so I could go back to school."

"I see. But it's been four years, and I have to find all this out this way? How were you carrying on with him?"

"It was just for a little while. I moved away when I started to...to show. Doug paid for everything. He was even there when Danielle was born, and he asked me to marry him. I was..I decided I would since it would be best for Danielle. But then I ran into you when I changed schools and I knew I didn't love Doug, I loved you!"

That was when it registered on Dan.

"You said you stayed with friends? You meant Doug, didn't you?"

"Yes."

Dan was already on his feet.

"Danny, no! We didn't, I wouldn't. I just got to be with Danielle, and I told you Doug is actually an OK guy."

"Sure he is. I can just imagine..all of those times you were gone? Were you off fucking that guy?."

"No! He is getting married, my daughter will have a good life! It's what is best for her." Dana told him.

"Married? Who is he marrying?"

"Sherry. She has changed, she is grown up now and they are happy. Danielle will be happy and they say I can come to visit whenever I want to."

"Visit? It's been four years, how do you...?"

Then he knew. Every time the subject of Sherry came up, Dan would go to her folks. Over a thousand miles away, she said. Then all of those overly long shifts at school?

"You used all the crap about Sherry as an excuse to go visit your daughter, didn't you?"

"Yes."

"At Doug's place, right?"

"Yes, but we didn't..nothing ever happened, I was just visiting."

"I don't think I believe you."

"It's the truth. After I found you again, Doug and I never...not even once. I'm really sorry, Danny." Now she was weeping quietly.

"I think I need you to leave. I have to think, this is a lot, Dana." Dan told her.

Dana got up and walked to the door. Then she turned back.

"I really am sorry, Danny. I really do love you, I will never keep any secrets from you ever again."

Dan just sat there as she walked out to her car and left.

+++

Dana refused to accept anything except for her car, even though at the final meeting with the lawyers her attorney argued with her about that.

Dan finally looked at the man and told him in no uncertain terms to shut the fuck up. The lawyer flushed but didn't say much more. Dana signed the papers, looked at Dan, then got up and left without a word.

Dan simply returned to his job, for several months that was all he did.

Finally he did begin to date some, a couple of women he met were interesting enough that he took them home. Both turned out to be uneventful, and he went right back to working long hours, coming home at night and fixing dinner. He would watch some TV, go to bed, then get up and do it all over again.

Sick of solo sexuality, one evening he was scanning some ads, he spotted one for rubdowns. The woman that arrived at his door was a pretty thing named Carla. The $60 fee became $120 and she happily used her hands to take care of him.

That worked, no need for efforts at a relationship. She came to see him once a week, Dan could then get lost in his own mind. Without fail those thoughts drifted to Dana and how she felt in his arms.

A couple of times Carla asked him if he would like her to be topless, or perhaps even nude?

He just shook his head no. Carla appeared to be surprised at that, but accepted things the way they were.

A few months passed, then on one of his trips he met a receptionist named Michelle. Interested again, he dated her a few times, finally ending up in her apartment. There was a long but disconcerting session where nothing Michelle did had any effect.

Embarrassed and miserable, he finally left. That was his very last date.

At home a week or so later, Carla came by for his weekly appointment. By then he felt totally comfortable with her, so he asked her point blank if she was still willing to do "more" as he put it.

Carla grinned and was quickly naked, actually somewhat excited at the prospect. Once again, there was no response. Later that evening she used her hands like always, Dan finally relaxed and drifted off into his own world of fantasy, his thoughts were of Dana and how it had been.

His life settled into just that, work, home, the weekly session with Carla. There was almost nothing else.

+++

Buried in work, Dan's efforts got noticed and he was promoted to regional manager. This came with a very large pay increase, all sorts of perks and stock options, and regular travel.

He was well into the fifth year of that when he walked into a meeting room in Dallas. Normally everything went smoothly, this time it did not. With no other choice, he had to stay for a couple of days.

He got a hotel room, and rented a car. The next morning he had breakfast at the hotel restaurant, got into the tiny little rental machine and headed for the plant.

Going through an intersection, he never even saw the large white van that missed a stop sign and hit him broadside.

+++

Lights. They were bright, in his face. He squeezed them shut, then slowly opened them again, adjusting to the brightness.

"Good morning, sir. Awake, I see." An older woman in all white clothing stood there smiling down at him.

"Where am I?" He asked.

"You are in the hospital, you had an accident. They had to do some surgery, things were a bit shaky for a while but you will be fine."

"Great. I need to get out of here, I have to be at the office."

"You aren't going anywhere, besides, you have already been here for ten days, sweetie."

"Ten days!" Dan tried to sit up but couldn't.

"Just lie still, honey. I will get the Doctor." With that she left. Dan felt himself falling asleep again.

An older man came in and woke him, then spoke with him at great length, explaining how he had been in a coma, swelling on the brain.

As the man was talking, he felt his left ankle throbbing. He reached down to rub it, nothing was there!

"What?" Dan felt a shock pour though him.

"Yes, we could not save your left leg, we installed a pin so when they fit the prosthesis you will be able to walk." The Doctor said.

"Jesus Christ!" Dan exclaimed.

"I'm sorry." The man said. That sounded almost automatic.

For most of the day Dan was feeling upset, sorry for himself. Here he was in a hospital in a strange city, over a thousand miles from home, his life now a total disaster.

Miserable, he wondered what else could possibly go wrong? He even thought about ending it all, there really was no point anyway.

By evening he was resigned to it, there was nothing he could do about it. He was also feeling better, the fog that had seemed to be in his mind had cleared.

"Hello, Danny." A familiar voice said.

He looked up, Dana walked in, carrying a tray with some food. Dan felt a flush pour over him, it had been so long. He had thought of her so many times, now here she was.

"Dana! What are you doing here?" He asked her.

"I work here, I have been here for several years now. I am your night nurse." She smiled.

"Well I'll be damned." He said.

"I was here when they brought you in, that was a surprise. I have been here every night since." She set up the tray, then carefully tilted his bed up so he could eat.

"What brought you way down here?" Dan asked her.

"I saw an ad for nursing staff, so I applied. I wanted to get away from all of the..memories and start life over."

"I see." Dan looked her over as he ate. She had put on weight, quite a bit actually. The slender young woman was now an early 30's more matronly figure. He saw her blush at his inspection.

"Married?" He asked, to shift the subject.

"No."

"Really? I would have thought...?"

"Well, work and Danielle takes up all of my time." She said.

"Danielle? I thought that...Doug and Sherry had custody?"

"Doug returned custody to me when I asked, I told him I was moving here and wanted her with me. He didn't argue. She is fourteen now."

"Wow. That is hard to believe, I guess it has been a decade."

Dana took his tray, left and then came back with a small pan and some towels.

"I need to bathe you, plus I need to turn you. We need to move your...legs...and keep circulation, OK?"

"OK." Dan watched as she worked his legs, lifting the half missing left leg and massaging the muscles. That did hurt a bit but not badly. Then she began to wash him, completely business like. She slid a towel over his genitals when she slid his gown back.

Dan managed to not laugh when she did that.

"So why haven't you remarried?" Dana asked him.

"I never met anyone I wanted to." He answered.

Dana just nodded. She finished up quickly and lay fresh blankets over him.

"Just push that buzzer if you need anything." She told him.

Dan dreamed that night of times long past.

The rest of his stay was similar, finally he was in a wheelchair and sent to a specialist. It only took a day or so to get used to the artificial leg, the only real troubles he had was the constant weight shifting to stay upright.

He soon learned to use his right leg to maintain a steady upright posture, after a week or two of practice it was hard for anyone to tell he had it on.

The last day Dana was there as he was wheeled out to the taxicab. Dan stood up looked at Dana and reached out to give her a hug. She hugged him back.

On the airplane ride home, all he could think of was the tear he had spotted slide down her cheek before she quickly turned away.

Back at work, he found himself thinking of Dana quite a bit. After just three days, he could no longer stand it.

+++

"Hello?" A young girl's voice answered on the second ring.

"Is Dana there?" He asked. Dan was reasonably sure the person answering was Danielle.

"Mom! Phone is for you!" He heard her call out.

"Mom is upstairs, she will be down in a minute, OK?" She came back to the phone.

"You are Danielle, right?" Dan asked her.

"Yes. Who are you?" She asked.

"My name is Dan. Your Mother and I were married once."

There was stone silence on the line.

"Who is it?" Dan heard Dana's voice in the background.

"It's him!" Danielle's voice whispered.

"Who?"

"Danny!" She said more loudly. Then there were some muffled voices like she put her hand over the receiver.

"Hello?" Dana's voice sounded shaky.

"Hi. This is Dan. I was wondering if I could take you out to dinner?"

There was a brief silence.

"Yes. I would like that very much." She answered quietly.

"Could you pick me up at the airport? I get in at six tonight."

"Yes. I will."

"OK, see you then." Dan heard giggling in the background as he hung up.

+++

Dan walked over to the tram that took him to the exit, Dana was standing there waiting when it arrived. Beside her stood a taller and slightly darker skinned version of what Dana had looked like when she was in her teens.

The girl had a huge grin on her face. Dan gave Dana a hug, she hugged back but was mildly reserved about it.

Dana drove expertly through the mayhem of traffic. At their apartment, they went inside and visited.

Danielle was quiet at first but soon she was talking about school and everything under the Sun. He had thought that might be a concern, what with her being Doug's child but it wasn't. Danielle proved to be bubbly, bright and a healthy and happy young lady.

Dan saw a look pass between her and her mother, in short order Danielle excused herself to go study.

Dana looked at her watch.

"Why don't I just fix something to eat here?" She asked.

"I wanted to take you out." Dan said.

"I would rather just...visit." She smiled.

"Well, OK. But I have a room reserved downtown, I can just get a taxi there later."