Seeking

I couldn't help it, my voice started shaking.

"Sir, I haven't been faithful in keeping up with my journal as both you and Sir told me to do."

There was a silence and then he asked if I could offer good reason. I knew that my excuses were feeble at best and that offering them would likely bring me more trouble. It might have seemed that I was not taking responsibility for what I'd done.

"No Sir, Master James I have no good excuse." I finally whispered.

"It is good that you have told me. Your honesty builds my trust in you. You still must be punished though. Prepare yourself mentally to take it and it will go better."

I closed my eyes tight in acceptance and tried not to let him see my fear. He stepped behind me and trailed something that felt like leather of some kind down my back.

"How many days is it that you have let your journal fall behind?"

I counted 5 days in my mind.

"Five days, Master James."

"Then you will receive five lashes on your inner thighs with my crop. One for each day and one more for disobeying me and one beyond that for disobeying your Dom. Spread yourself wider and count as you have been told. Girl you will learn that your only choice is to obey and the sooner you accept that, the easier it will be on you."

With that he stepped back and I spread my knees as wide apart as I could. My hips ached with the strain as I waited with closed eyes. Tense and filled with fear and dread. When the first strike came, it came hard and I heard the crop displace the air an instant before I felt it. I screamed out with the pain. It was the worst yet. It bit into the softest part of my inner thigh, near my cunt. My body jerked forward and my eyes welled up.

"One......aghhhh! Thank you, Master James. Please give me another." I forced the words from myself.

The second stroke came and then the third, so hard, so fucking hard that I thought I would die with the pain. They were all delivered on the same thigh, the left one, it was beyond agony. The last four came on my right thigh. A searing, burning, pain beyond pain. Although I was thanking him, counting the strokes and asking for more, my words were meaningless sounds in my mind.

"Remember this lesson," was all that he said.

It was strange; it was almost as if there was sadness in him when he said it. There was a deep sadness in me also. I felt unworthy for having been so lazy and willful regarding my journals. I was sorry, so sorry. I wanted to do better. I wanted to please these men and Sir. I want to be proud of who I am.

They allowed me to rest for a few minutes like that and then I was helped up to my knees by Master Michael and given cool water to drink. My voice was still hoarse and raspy from laryngitis and I'd suffered with over the past week. Twice Master Michael asked me if I was ok or if I felt ill. He even put his hand on my forehead once, as if to check for a fever. It was an insignificant gesture and yet to me it made me feel that they really did care.

"If you feel ill we will not continue." He said

Suddenly, I had a choice. A temporary reprieve if I chose to take it. It made it all the harder for me to stay and endure. The weak me wanted desperately to take the out I was being offered but in the end it was the needy me that finally answered.

"No, Master Michael. Thank you, I'm really ok."

"Are you prepared to receive your discipline, girl?"

I nodded and was helped to my feet and led to the far wall. Walking was hard with the larger plug inside my ass and the angry red welts on my thighs burning. I was forced to move in an ugly embarrassing waddle to ease the hurt.

When we reached the wall, Master Michael backed me up against it and told me to present my wrists to him to be cuffed. With my eyes lowered, I held my arms out in front of me and watched as he placed leather cuffs on each wrist. One at a time he stretched my arms out to the side and fastened the cuffs to big heavy rings mounted into the wall above me. My shoulders ached with the strain. My arms were stretched very tight and I was lifted up almost onto my tiptoes. It gave an uncomfortable arch to my back and my chest was thrust out more than normal.

He knelt down in front of me and attached ankle cuffs to each ankle and one at a time moved each leg wide to the side and attached the cuffs to large rings near the floor. His large hands with their thick fingers were gentle as they secured me. The mix of power and gentleness in his touch somehow calmed me. As he stood up his hands caressed up my body. The mere grazing of his fingers over the welts on my inner thighs drew a groan from me before I could stop it. I made a guttural noise when his finger moved up thru my slit, stopping to make a small circle over my hard, hungry clit. With eyes still lowered I watched his hand move over the flat of my belly and felt a tightening deep inside when he touched me there. Both hands were on me then, cupping under each breast and lifting them as if weighing them, squeezing and kneading them. His huge thumbs teased my nipples at the base of my rings. My head went back to the wall and I arched out as much as I could when he lowered his head and began sucking each one.

"Ohhhh god, Master Michael."

I was panting as he moved from one to the other and back sucking and licking and gently biting. Then it became a slow steady suction, his mouth wide open, almost engulfing my whole breast. He was intent upon the left one at first. Working it, sucking it harder and harder till the nipple felt huge. When he pulled away my breast was shiny and wet from his mouth. He moved to the right one, repeating the process, all the while still pinching and tugging the left nipple with his right hand. My moans became continuous, my ass ground back hard to the wall and I thrust my chest out to him till my shoulders were screaming from the stress.

Just as quickly as it all started it stopped. He stepped back and Master James moved to me, bringing one hand up to cup my right breast, and before it registered what he had in his hand, he had closed a clover clamp over my nipple. It bit in with more pleasure than pain. Next he clamped the right one. He reached behind him and pulled a strip of material out of his pocket. He tied it over my eyes and my world became black velvet darkness.

"No, please..."

There was no reply. I felt unbalanced in the dark and I pressed back to the security of the wall.

"Ahhhhhhhh."

Someone was hanging weights from the clamps and now they were biting in harder and tugging my breasts down. My frantic twitching only served to further stretch my poor nipples and increase my pain. Every nerve in my body seemed centered in my abused nipples. Master James was still there. I smelled him and felt the heat from his body. At last the numbness set in and there was some relief. It was short lived. He must have sensed my relief. He flicked the weights or tugged on the clamps and the agony started allover again.

Then I felt the strikes, light taps at first, stinging taps on my nipples of each tortured, hot breast. Leather, it was leather again, strands of it, smacking, striking down over each breast. This was torture, agony; the leather came down harder faster, again and again. The weights were swinging and pulling the clamps which bit so hard it seemed they would cut through my nipples. I screamed and then begged and pleaded.

"Unnnnghhh. No more pleaseeeeeeeee. I can't take anymore."

But it didn't stop, there was no easing up and I was bucking and thrashing. I strained futilely against the thick rings holding me to the wall. Then the voice, Master James' voice, filtered through the red haze of my agony.

"Accept it, slut, go with the pain. Welcome the gift of your discipline."

It went on and on, till my breasts felt like they were being whipped and pulled off my chest.

Then something changed. After that it got misty. It was like I was in some other place. A place with cool breezes, a cool soothing ocean. I was flying, drifting, soaring, so warm and so free. Maybe I fainted, I couldn't be sure but the next thing I was really aware of was my mouth being opened and something that felt like a round plastic ball being pushed back onto my tongue. I felt it being fastened behind my head.

"We are leaving you here, girl, to think about who you are."

Footsteps disappearing, fleeting panic, brief struggle, then blessed total acceptance. Giving up, giving in, and welcoming the heat, the gift of the pain. It was like I was outside looking in on myself, seeing so clearly the woman I could become. My breasts were throbbing with every beat of my heart. My ass felt on fire, as if the plug had expanded inside me. My thighs burned even hotter as my slippery juices and sweat oozed over them, heating the welts up even more. So alive...I felt so incredibly alive. I knew with crystal clarity that these sensations were the lesson. A voice within chanted to me... accept it, welcome it, see who you are, acknowledge the beauty and the power of your submission. There is no greater purpose than serving, than giving pleasure, than offering up every wonderful, special part of your being, heart, body, mind and soul, as a gift to be cherished and used, no greater purpose than pleasing.

Time passed but I was not aware of its passing. I felt hands removing the gag, then the weights and the clamps. Vivid flashes of white hot pain in my unseeing eyes as the blood filled my nipples again, shocking me from my trance. At last the blindfold came off, it was Master James and he cupped my chin in his hand, while my eyes struggled to focus.

"You may look at me, girl.... Who are you? Answer me!"

His eyes are deep green like my own and I looked into them, searching for myself in their reflection. Held by his dark, unwavering gaze, I answered him from my heart.

"I am a submissive. I am a slut, to be used."

My heart filled with the deepest joy when the trace of a smile passed over his face. I saw his approval in the way his eyes lightened and his gaze relaxed.

Once again a cool glass of water was held to my lips and I drank and drank till the big glass was nearly empty. Master Robert and Master James released the wrist and ankle cuffs. They lifted me between them and carried me to a wide padded table and laid me on it. Master Robert eased a soft pillow under my head. I winced when he brushed over my nipples and gave my rings a gentle tug. The cuffs were still on me and once again my arms were secured to the sides of the table. Looking up there was a track in the ceiling with three pulleys spaced evenly over the table, and Master Michael stepped up to my feet and began lowering ropes. He held a thick metal bar with rings on each end to which he attached the ankle cuffs. This spread my legs wide apart again. He slipped the big hook at the end of the rope over the bar and began raising my legs up off the table. Higher and higher till my legs were straight up and my ass was lifted up off the table.

"Time for you endure the fire and ice, girl." Master Michael said.

My heart nearly stopped beating. I knew what that meant and I opened my mouth to beg but his look stopped me cold. My thoughts were racing and my heart was pounding out of my chest. I hate ice. I hate being cold. It was one of the limits I had set and they knew that. How could they do this? I thought that was the purpose of filling out the check list they had given me at the very beginning. I felt the anger welling up in me. I felt betrayed after thinking I could trust them not to force me beyond the limits we had set. It had been hard enough to go as far as I had. The longer I lay there, watching the three of them gather equipment, thick candles, lighters and a whole cooler filled with ice, the more angry I became. The words poured out of me,

"You bastards! Let me up! Untie me right now. I want out of here! This isn't fair. You promised when we did the check list. I told you I wouldn't do this! LET ME GO!"

This was a deal breaker. It wasn't fair. All those floating feelings of sweet submission were gone in the flash of my anger. Struggling and yanking at the cuffs, I clamped my mouth shut when Master Robert pressed the ball gag to my mouth again. The bastard pinched my nose shut and no matter how I tossed my head side to side he didn't let go. The second my mouth opened to gasp for air, that awful gag went into my mouth, and I was furious because he was laughing. They were all laughing.

"That shut the bitch up," He said to Master James.

He leaned over me and put his face just inches from mine.

"Girl, when we're finished your sweet ass is gonna feel the palm of my hand. Now you just think about that before you EVER call any of us a bastard again."

His hand closed over my breast and he squeezed hard. I wanted to scream. He meant it to hurt and it did. God, it did. Even with all the anger it was obvious that there was no use in struggling. All I was succeeding in doing was making it worse for myself. All the fight just went out of me and I sank back down on the table, resigned, knowing that if they wanted it, it would happen. I would be better off preparing myself than dwelling on the injustice of it.

I closed my eyes and tried to take my mind to a place of acceptance. My eyes flew open though when I felt the cock plug being pulled out of my ass. It came out with a wet, slurping sound against the suction of my clenching muscles. My groan was muffled behind the fat gag and my jaw ached from being held open. My tight hole didn't feel very tight anymore. It felt very open. Master Michael had his finger in my hole, slipping in and out easily now. I heard the clinking of ice and he began slipping ice into my gaping anus. One, then two, three, four, five, round balls of ice down into my raised ass. Oh sweet holy Christ. I was freezing inside and my gut was clutching and clenching. My suspended ass bucked in the air above the table. My frantic movements only caused the melting ice to slide deeper. He slipped two more in and the freezing cold was turning into fire as it froze me inside. Because of the angle of my body, with my legs lifted up, the cold water from the melting ice flowed down through my belly. It was an ice water enema, the cramping was starting.

Master Michael was massaging my labia and my clit with chunks of the ice. Having packed my ass, Master Robert began rubbing a ball of it over my nipples. Master James had been lighting a tray of many colored candles. He picked up a red one. Master Michael spread more ice up thru my labia. He started pushing them deep into my cunt, one at a time, working them in deep with two fingers. I lost count of how many; all I know is that I felt full. I was completely stuffed with nuggets of freezing cold. The burning sensation started and grew until it was deep in my womb.

"Aghhhh,"

I bucked up as the first drop of burning hot wax splashed on my nipple. It felt hotter than it was in contrast to the extreme cold within me. How I wished now that I had opted out when they had offered me the chance. One drop after the other dripped over my breasts. He kept changing candles, first one color and then another. Painting me with the molten wax. Holding them closer, then higher, warm and then hotter and then searing heat. Having iced down my cunt, Master Michael picked up a candle and let the wax drip on my clit. He covered my swollen pale labia, my belly, and my bare mound. He let it drip over my sore open hole until it was sealed off with a puddle of wax. Six hands, six big hands touched, squeezed and stroked my body. They pinched rock hard, sore nipples and teased my hard, swollen clit. Their fingers fucked in and out of my freezing cold cunt and ass. The cold water was so deep in me that I had become a frozen core wrapped in blazing skin. The tip of a vibrating dildo was held right on my clit for a moment and then it slid deep in my cunt. Back it came and again it attacked my clit. Hands were massaging my belly, smearing it with my juices, my slut cream and ice water. In and out, the fucking motion of the dildo vibrated the ice in my body.

Against my will, the being within me had begun to respond to the powerful stimuli attacking my senses from every direction. My clit swelled and I found myself straining up to the fat dildo. There was no stopping it; I was hung on the edge momentarily and then toppled over into an orgasmic abyss. Cumming, cumming, freezing and burning, half of me a chilled puddle and the other half a pile of ashes. Master Michael held the tip of the dildo right there on my clit vibrating the whole time I was cumming and it became the sweetest most exquisite agony. Drained, I hung there with my collapsed weight on my shoulders. Before he lowered my legs, Master Michael worked the cock plug back into my ass again. I was just conscious enough to be grateful that with it in me, I would at least be spared the humiliation of an accident.

The gag was removed on the condition that I didn't speak the rest of the night unless spoken to. My body was lowered back to the table and the cuffs taken off. The icy water ran out of my cunt and pooled underneath me in a cold puddle. As the ice had melted, the numbness was leaving and to be replaced by a hot stinging as my body slowly warmed.

Master Robert pulled up a chair close to the table and sat down on it.

"Girl, I think we have a date. Get your ass down here and lay over my lap."

I was exhausted from the long ordeal and from cumming so hard. The pain I had endured and emotional roller coaster I'd been forced to ride had left me so weak that it was all I could do to get up off the table.

"On your knees, girl, and crawl to me like the slut that you are," Master Robert demanded.

When my feet hit the floor, I eased down to my knees with every muscle aching. I crawled to him, pressed my cheek to the floor and lifted my ass without being told. He let me stay there like that for a long minute and then said,

"Over my lap."

He guided me into position over his meaty thighs. The tips of my toes just touched the floor and my head hung down. His hands parted my thighs till my ass was exposed and wide open to him.

"Tell me why you are being punished again."

My voice was flat, there was no emotion left in me,

"Because my words were disrespectful. Because I disobeyed and because I was angry."

"There will be no need to count. I don't want to hear one sound from your mouth until I tell you to speak."

His big hand started coming down hard on my cheeks. Loud slaps and smacks that echoed all through the barn. Each one was leveled with force, one after the other. His hand arcing up and coming down hard. I was choking back my cries. I could feel every one of his handprints. He would come down over and over in one place before moving on to another, till my whole ass was covered. Every so often he came down hard right on the plug slamming it deeper in my ass and sending new tongues of fire through me. Finally it stopped. He was panting from the effort and I was sobbing openly. He pushed me off of his lap to the floor. I immediately kneeled with my ass up in the air again. His hand twisted down in my hair and he pulled my face up to his crotch.

"Now you better pleasure me, slut."

His thighs were parted and he had already unzipped his jeans. He pulled his cock out. I have never had a black cock before. Not that it mattered. His was still soft but thick and his balls were large and covered with tight curly wiry hair.

As he guided me closer I could smell his male scent, his sweaty tang. I opened my mouth wide and took his balls in my mouth. He groaned and thrust out at me and

I let my tongue start working its magic. I licked underneath and all around. I sucked and tugged softly at them with the bridge of my nose pressing into his cock. Still sucking, I rolled them around in my mouth. I leaned back to pull them out from his body, then let my tongue stroke under them, licking up and down from his sac to his crack.