Shades of BluebyJonnyflies©
My thanks go to 'Smokahontas' for agreeing to read this through. This made me wait before submitting my first ever attempt to write a story and gave me the time to re-think, and hopefully improve, major parts of it.
I suppose some might say all of this was Ms E L James's fault. After all, she was the one who wrote the "Fifty Shades" trilogy in the first place. But, I ask you, can anyone honestly say that reading a book is what caused them to behave in the way they did? I know it is common to hear this from lawyers, as mitigation for all kinds of misdeeds, claiming that their client wasn't responsible for what he or she did, because they were lead astray by drink, or a film , that book, or this computer game. These excuses have always sounded extremely weak to me, to say the least. Any person, unless they are incapable of rational thought, is responsible for whatever actions they take. He, she or it "made me do it", which is basically what blaming drink, book, film or computer game is really claiming, is an excuse, the credibility of which should have expired long before you made it out of kindergarten.
By the same token, if I stay with the "He made me do it" way of thinking, I would have to accept I am the one to blame anyway. After all, it was me that bought the books in the first place, without which it is probable that my mother would never have read them. Even more than that, it was when she saw I was reading the first book in the trilogy, "Fifty Shades of Grey", my response to her comments challenged her to read them herself, before she condemned them, out of hand, as 'pornography'.
At this point I expect you will be asking "what in heavens name are you going on about?" so I had better explain, and the best place to start is at the beginning. Obviously, all names have been changed, for the usual reasons.
My name is Paul. I am 19 years old and work in an insurance office in the city of Bristol. I live at home with my Mother, Joanne, who is a 38 year old single parent, my father having left us when I was 10, to live with another woman. Following his divorce from Mum, he married this woman, but I hear that he is currently seeking another divorce because he has found someone else he wants to be with. I heard this from a friend, because I don't have anything at all to do with him. He left my mother and me with nothing, and she had to fight through the courts to get him to help support me. Even then he only sporadically paid up the maintenance the court had awarded, and to this day, I believe, owes her thousands of pounds. Mum says she would rather starve than beg him for anything.
Mum is employed by the local council in one of their many offices. It was her knowledge of the benefits available to people in our situation that helped us survive when my father was moving around and changing jobs in an effort to avoid paying the maintenance the court had awarded.
I think she is still very attractive, although she doesn't seem to think so and refuses to believe anyone would be interested in her. I know this is not true but although I tell her she is still an attractive woman, she just laughs and says I am prejudiced because she is my mum. Maybe I am, but (just between the two of us) she has been my fantasy woman ever since I first became interested in girls.
One thing I haven't told her is that in my last year at college, one of my 'friends' saw us out shopping, and the next day in college he said that he thought my mother was, and I quote, "a real foxy lady" (he thought he was cool). What he meant was, he really fancied her. In fact, he was a lot more 'graphic' than that and he asked me if I could arrange a date with her for him. I told him - "Back Off! That's my mother you are talking about."
I did tell her that a guy at college fancied her, but although she looked surprised and, maybe a little pleased when I told her, she laughed it off saying that he was probably just being nice. I never told her everything he had said, or what happened between us, and certainly not about him wanting a date with her.
I bought the "Fifty Shades" books from our local Tesco's, where they were on special offer. Because of the reviews which had labelled them 'Mummy Porn', I started to read them in private, in my room. I had soon decided that they were not pornographic. Erotic? - Definitely! But it was a love story, well written and engaging. I wouldn't go so far as to say I couldn't put it down, but by the time I was a few chapters into the first book I couldn't wait to see how the story unfolded. In my opinion, anyone who labels them "Porn" has read them like a 13 year old, adolescent schoolboy, skimming through the story to find the "dirty bits". The "filth" is in their own mind, not on the page. Anyway, I digress.
Mum was putting some clean washing away in my drawers and she saw the books where I had put them to keep them out of plain sight. I came in from work and she was sitting in the living room, the three books on the coffee table in front of her, with a face like thunder, wanting to know why I had brought these "dirty books" into the house.
That was the start of our discussion about them. I defended the books, which I thought, although they did have many highly erotic passages in them, had real literary merit. It was obvious from what she said that Mum's opinion had been coloured by what a lady she worked with, a Mrs Smith, had said. She had apparently been 'sounding off' to anyone she could get to listen that they were pornography and that it was disgusting that they were on open sale in the Supermarket where anyone could pick them up.
I asked Mum if Mrs Smith had actually read the books, to which she replied "No, she hasn't, she said that they were filth and she wouldn't allow them in her house".
My response to that was, "So she hasn't read them but she knows what is in them, I think she must be either very clever, or an idiot, and I am pretty sure on which side of that line she falls. I suppose she has based her 'informed opinion' on something she has heard on TV? Now, tell me, was that before, during, or after Coronation Street?"
Perhaps that was a little bit sneaky, but Mum and I had laughed about this same Mrs Smith seeming to base her life, opinions, thoughts, and most of her conversation around the latest soap opera plot. 'Coronation Street' was her favourite program.
Mum then said "I don't like you looking at dirty books. That was something your father used to do".
Mum can be sneaky too. She knew that if she said 'that is what your father did', I would immediately, without question stop doing it. As I said, he might have been my father but I still want nothing to do with him. I consider him to be a real 'low life'. This time though she had 'missed the bus', because I had already read enough of the book to have formed my own opinion that they were not "dirty books". Erotic reading? - Yes, but not dirty books.
I told her that before she condemned the books as 'Pornography' she should at least know what she was talking about, unlike Mrs Smith, who had made up her mind and wasn't going to be confused by mere facts.
Mum agreed that I had a good point, and after some more discussion, said she would trust my judgement enough to read, just the first book, before she made up her mind about them.
I told her that, so far, in my opinion it was a love story, although "Mills and Boon" it most certainly was not. I warned her that some of the passages were, to say the least, erotic, so not to be too shocked if, when the bedroom door closed, the story didn't cut to 'waves crashing on the sea shore'. I also said that as I was well over half way through the first book, and really into the story, I would give it to her to read as soon as I finished it, and at the speed I was reading it, that should be within the next couple of days.
Two days later I had finished the first book. I took it downstairs and placed on the coffee table in front of her.
"There you are, delivered as promised; now you can make up your own mind about what you think of the story".
"I will make a deal with you" Mum said, "I don't think I will like it but I will read it as I promised, but I don't want you to read the next book until I decide what I think about this one. If I think its filth, you take it, and those other two books, out of the house. I don't care what you do with them, but they have to go. Is that a deal?"
"OK" I replied "but I will go further than that, if you honestly think that the book is pornographic, not only will I get rid of all three of them, but I will take you out to dinner, on me, at a restaurant of your choosing, as an apology for having bought them.
BUT, if you agree they are not pornographic, the dinner is on you and I choose the restaurant. Is that a deal?"
One thing my mother really loved was to eat out, somewhere nice. It was a treat we didn't have very often, because, although we were ok now, with both of us working, in the past money had always been a bit tight. This way, whatever she thought of the book, it gave us an excuse to splash out a little for at least one evening.
"You're on!" she said with a smile; "I take it you trust me not to cheat and say 'they are filth', just so you have to pay?"
"Of course I trust you" I said with a grin; "anyway, If you say they are filth, I dump all three books and you don't get to read the other two. I am banking on you being so caught up in the story by then that the cost of the meal is nothing against knowing how it turns out. I'm itching to read the next one, but I will wait as you ask. That does mean you are going to wait for me to finish the second book before you get it.
Another thing" I said; "I can't lose. Which ever way the decision goes, I get a date with the prettiest lady I know",
I bent down and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek, before running for the stairs in case she threw the book at me.
I needn't have worried, she was laughing so much she couldn't have hit me if she had thrown it.
It was three days later, on a Saturday morning. I had been sorting out some things in our garden shed and came into the kitchen to wash my hands. Mum was in the lounge reading the 'infamous' book.
I was just about to call out that I had finished outside, when I noticed that she was so deep into the story that she hadn't even noticed I was there. Something in the way she looked so engrossed in what she was reading, made me stop and step back from the door to where I could still see her, but unless she actually looked straight at me, she wouldn't see me.
I don't know where this flash of insight came from, but I just didn't want to disturb her. Her face looked flushed and she looked, sort of 'strange', not really comfortable at all. I wondered what was the matter.
As I watched she dropped her right hand down into her lap, leaving the book in just her left hand. Something in the way she did that made me move a little further back. I could still see her though and now I noticed she seemed to be breathing quite heavily. Her legs began to move apart and her hand pressed down between them although still on top of her skirt and as I watched she began to rub herself.
I was rooted to the spot. I was watching my mother, this beautiful, respectable lady, who had brought me up with very little help from my father, masturbating. Not only that, she was doing it while reading an erotic book that I had given her and only days ago she had denounced it as 'pornography'.
Now I knew that some of the passages were very erotic, in fact most of the book was erotic. I had sported an erection while reading most of it. Some passages had aroused me enough to make me masturbate, but surely it couldn't have done that to my mother as well, could it? Wrong! It certainly looked as if it had.
There was no doubt in my mind she was having at least as profound a response to the book as mine had been. Perhaps even more so, because when I had reacted like that to the story I had been in the privacy of my room, where respect for that privacy would have caused her to knock before entering. She was masturbating, sitting downstairs in the lounge on a Saturday morning, when she knew that I was only in the back, tidying up the shed. Surely she must have known that I could walk in at any time, without knocking, and catch her?
Her eyes were closed and as I watched her, her hand movement began to speed up and her whole body seemed to shudder. Her knees pulled up and spread apart and she dropped the book. A small groan forced its way from her lips. With her knees raised and spread as they were, I could see right up her skirt to her white panties and saw her fingers were pressing deeply into her groin as she rubbed herself to an orgasm.
When she came I heard the moan of pleasure it gave her and, grateful for the fact that her eyes were still closed, I slipped back into the kitchen before she recovered her faculties and saw me.
I was intrigued. I had never really thought of my mother being so sexual before. I had always considered her to be very attractive, well, quite a bit more than just 'attractive' if you must know, but I had never really thought about her sexual needs. When that, so called 'friend' had wanted a date, I knew what he was after and no way was I going to help him take advantage of my mother, but I had still never even considered what her needs might be.
As I washed my hands I tried desperately to control my raging erection. Mum would hear the water running and know I had come in, but hopefully wouldn't realise I had seen what she was doing. Just for a moment a really stupid thought occurred to me, but I pushed it away as being far too ridiculous for consideration. What if she wanted me to catch her? Well! I did say it was stupid, didn't I? Why would she want that? Obviously she wouldn't! It must have been the book that had excited her so much she had given in to her desire for relief from the sexual tension it had brought on.
I was really curious about which particular passage in that book had caused such a relaxation of her normal self control that it caused her to masturbate, when she knew I was only just outside, in the shed. She must have been really turned on by what she had read to have done that.
Drying my hands I walked into the lounge, where Mum was now quietly sitting, still looking a little flushed, with the book in her hand, but not actually reading it.
"All finished out there" I said, smiling at her, "how is the book coming along? Have I won my bet yet?"
Mum looked at me and a little smile turned up the corners of her mouth. "I am not sure about that yet, although I will admit it is a very interesting story, not at all what I expected"
"I told you so" I said with a grin; "It really grabs your mind, doesn't it? How far have you got into it? I can see by the amount you have read in such a short time that you must be enjoying the story. It must have captured your interest, just like it did mine".
I took the book from her hand and saw she had reached the part where, for the first time, Christian takes Anastasia over his knee and spanks her. A section I had found very erotic indeed, it had had quite an effect on me too.
Handing the book back to her I said "What do you think of those 'naughty bits' now? You know, the ones that you were calling 'pornographic' only a few days ago."
Surely reading about Anastasia having her bare bottom spanked couldn't have caused Mum to do what I had just witnessed, could it?
"As the dictionary defines 'pornography' to be 'material which tends to deprave or corrupt'," I said; "do you think what you have read so far has depraved or corrupted you?"
I noticed a slight blush in my Mum's cheeks as she replied; "Don't be silly Paul, of course it hasn't".
"Oh, that's a shame, I was sort of Umm .. hoping? ......." I said, grinning at her.
"You do look a little tense though, Mum, would you like me to massage your shoulders? You always used to like me to do that".
Without waiting for her to answer I moved around behind her and began to work on her shoulders. Looking down I could see down the front of her dress where her breasts disappeared into her white bra. The erection I had managed to successfully control in the kitchen reared its head again. I had always thought that Mum had lovely breasts and I had always loved it when I got this view as I massaged her shoulders.
Mum relaxed as I began to work out the knots in her shoulders. She put the book down and closed her eyes, giving herself up to the pleasurable sensations she was getting from my massage.
After a few minutes she asked me "You haven't said, apart from defending the book against the charge of pornography, what you thought of those 'naughty bits' yourself?"
"Oh No!" I said "you can't catch me like that; the bet is about your opinion of them, not your criticism of my opinion. I will say this much though, just to justify why I do not consider this book to be pornographic.
I admit I have read some books which I know are 'porn' and some erotic classics which are not considered to be so. I think the difference is, in 'porn' the sex is the storyline. That's what the book is about. The authors jump into the sex from page one and that is basically what they describe.
After reading 'Fifty Shades of Grey' I would describe it as 'a love story'. A little unconventional, yes, but a love story none the less. That's what the book is about. Yes, I will agree that Ms James didn't shrink from writing about the more sexual aspects of her story, but they are just that, aspects of a story, about two people, one of them very unconventional in his tastes I admit, falling in love. I did warn you that it wasn't a 'Mills and Boon' type of love story, it was very erotic, but I don't think that makes it any less of a love story.
Does that answer your question?"
Mum sat quietly, still with her eyes closed and then she said; "I can see you have thought quite a lot about this".
"Yes I have. I knew you would ask me about my thoughts." I replied; "porn doesn't require much of a plot. It just caters to a need, and is then forgotten. There is nothing in it which matters once that immediate sexual need has been satisfied. This book is not like that. It involves you in the story and with the characters, it requires you to think. Yes there are moments where the descriptions of events may create a similar physical response to 'pornography', but those descriptions are in the context of a developing relationship, not an end in themselves".
She was quiet for a moment, then she asked; "what were you hoping?"
[Ah! Careful now Paul, this could be awkward]; - "Hoping?" I asked, trying to sound innocent.
"You said you were 'sort of hoping', what for?"
"I was just teasing Mum".
"I know you were teasing, but explain it to me, in what way was it a tease?"
[Keep it light Paul; tread carefully now]; - "Well whichever way you decide about this book, I get a date with a beautiful lady. The loveliest girl I know. So perhaps I wouldn't mind too much if she had been, maybe just a little bit corrupted, before I get to practice my charms on her". With that I bent down and lightly kissed Mum on the neck, just behind her ear.
I felt Mum shiver as I did this, and she said, in a slightly husky voice "don't do that, it makes me feel all kind of, tingly inside".
"That sounds to me like a very good reason to do it again then" I said, and kissed her there again, this time allowing my tongue to gently tickle her skin, between my lips. I was still holding her shoulders, gently massaging them and felt her tense as if she was going to pull away. Then I felt the tremor that my kiss had caused run through her body and she took a deep breath, releasing it with a soft "Ohhhhh!"