She Said I Was the One Ch. 02

Mark remained very attentive to me. I'm not saying he always treated me as if we were newly dating, but if he felt the same as I now guess that I was feeling he sure didn't show it. I still got the occasional flowers for no reason. He still made an effort to take me out to nice dinners and give me a chance to dress up and "primp".

There would be occasions when he would tell me that he felt we needed some romantic time and would surprise me with a long weekend or a massage and a particularly long and attentive love making session. Interesting now, that I appreciated the effort, but never thought much about what was behind it. Was he having some of the same feelings as I was, but was making more of an effort to be pro-active about keeping the spark alive?

We had been married about 11 years when I met Don. Some of the rest of the flight crew and I were having dinner on a layover in New York one evening. I seldom drank at all, but was having a glass of wine with my dinner when he came into the restaurant with a couple of other men that looked like they were having a business dinner.

He immediately caught my eye, which was unusual. I wasn't staring at him. I don't think I was, at least. But, as I was looking at him, he made eye contact with me. It was at that time and the next few moments that I now know I lost my marriage.

Don was about 6'3" and trim, but not skinny. He was dressed in a very expensive looking suit with shoes and accessories that looked as though they were made specifically for him and for the suit he was wearing. He was in his mid 40s, I later learned. Quite simply, he was everything that 90% of women picture when they picture a mature, very attractive man.

Every block was checked. If meeting Mark hit me like a ton of bricks, my first impression of Don was being hit with one brick, but perfectly aimed. That either makes sense or it doesn't, but I'm not sure how else to describe it.

My co-workers and I continued with our dinner and I made a cursory effort not to keep looking at Don. It seemed like every time I did look in his direction, he was looking at me, too. The way he looked at me was.....predatory...but somehow without being threatening or crude.

I felt myself shiver, and yes, start to get wet. I noticed he was wearing a ring. Why did I even look? It shouldn't matter, should it? I had a pretty widespread reputation among my co-workers for not giving any man the time of day. Obviously, those who shared my morals regarded that favorably, while those who did not chose to see it as me being something of a prude.

I was among a group of the latter this evening and they had noticed Don as well. They also noticed the looks that passed between us and commented. I brushed their comments aside, but was unable to brush the growing feeling of excitement and sexual tension I was feeling aside.

Since we had an early flight the next morning we didn't have time to go elsewhere after dinner, so we chose to remain and have an extra drink at the restaurant. As a result, Don's group finished their dinner and got up to leave before we did, but Don met my eyes and went to sit at the bar and ordered a drink. His back was to me at that point, but the look that passed between us said all that needed to be said. He was waiting for me.

My co-workers noticed my flush and noticed Don sitting at the bar, now by himself. They found excuses in the next 20 minutes or so to drift off, probably back to their rooms. I tried to make it look good, by walking toward the elevator with Sandy, who was the last to leave, but made some sort of excuse about making sure I left a tip at the table and told her to go up without me.

If there was any excuse for sticking around to this point, there definitely was not for what I did next. I went directly up to Don and sat down beside him.

"I have to admit to never being in this situation before," I said. "What does one say?"

"There are rare occasions such as this, I think, when one doesn't have to say anything, although I guess knowing one another's names would be in order."

"Well, I'm Denise, then."

"And I'm Don. I hope you'll consider it my great pleasure."

"And you, mine."

Don put his hand on my lower back and I did nothing whatever to stop him or even discourage him. Clearly, I had checked my brain at the door. My heart was pounding so hard, I was sure that anyone within 10 feet of me could hear it.

We continued to exchange personal information in a very sexually charge little bubble. I learned that Don was married, though not happily as I was, and yes...I know what you're thinking. That we would go to bed together was never really a question. Don simply laid claim to me as if it was pre-ordained and the thought of it being otherwise never even occurred to me.

It was about an hour later that we went up to my room. I won't go into all the details other than to say Don was the most physically skilled lover I had ever experienced. He was all that Simon was and more. He didn't touch me mentally and emotionally like Mark did, but his cock was bigger and he clearly knew how to use his cock, hands, and tongue to please a woman.

I lost count of how many times I orgasmed. My phone rang at one point, and I saw that it was Mark and didn't even have the heart or grace to be embarrassed that I had another man's cock in me at the time. Of course, I didn't answer it.

When Don left, I gave him my email address and cell phone number and we promised to meet again when I came back to New York. Needless to say, I made it a point to influence my scheduling in such a way as to come back every chance I got. Don and I began an affair that lasted for over a year. We never really discussed divorce. Though Don wasn't happy in his marriage, divorce wasn't a realistic option for him.

It never occurred to me to consider it, either. Though Don rocked my world, sexually, that didn't take anything away from what Mark did for me or certainly how I felt about him. The strange and tragic thing was, even though, I obviously kept my affair a secret from Mark, the thought of stopping never even occurred to me.

The thought about consequences never occurred to me. I loved Mark as dearly as I ever had and withheld nothing from him either physically or emotionally. I guess that somehow I allowed myself to subconsciously believe that I had two separate lives....yes....I know what you're thinking.

************

I broke down when Mark walked out our door. There are no words that can describe my anguish as I saw him leave. I knew when he came out of the closet in New York that my life was probably over. Interesting, that Don was the furthest thing from my mind at that point. It wasn't until our discussion he described to you that I started to get some sense as to the depth of hurt I had caused him, and suddenly, it was if I had just waken from a dream. Had I actually done this? Was this me?

The questions started flowing as I sat there on my living room floor: What made me dishonor my husband as I had done? Did I really love him? Could I truly love him to have done what I had done? Was it possible I loved Don even though it hadn't occurred to me before that I might? If I did, did that somehow mitigate my unfaithfulness? Why......why hadn't I stopped to think...even for a minute about the possible consequences of my actions?

Mark was right about one thing for sure. My reaction to getting caught was simply that. I was sorry to have been caught and was reacting very strongly to that. Even now I knew that telling him I was sorry that it happened wouldn't hold any water. Clearly, I had a lot of work to do if there was any hope of saving my marriage.

Saving my marriage? I almost laughed a very bitter laugh as the thought occurred to me. Mark as much as told me that he wouldn't consider it. These thoughts and a million others of the same ilk flooded my mind the remainder of the afternoon and evening as I continued to sit there. I felt sorry for the hurt I cause Mark, but mostly, I felt sorry for myself.

I woke up early the following morning disoriented and very sore. I eventually fell asleep right there in the floor and it turned out that was not very comfortable situation from which to wake up. My eyes were swollen and scratchy. My clothing was disheveled. I was a complete and utter mess.

One thing hit me with a sudden clarity at some point in my mini-pilgrimage of self-pity. As impossible as it seemed, Mark DID allow for reconciliation. I had to hope he would honor that, even if he, too just felt it was impossible as he more or less said that he had. I had to act and act quickly. I didn't know what I had to do, but I did know I had to do something.

I thought back to some of what Mark had said yesterday. I had never fully and truly appreciated it until now, but I can now say that it's one of the things that I truly had always loved about Mark. He processed and communicated things very objectively.

He wasn't insensitive or devoid of emotion, but he had a knack for boiling things down to the issues that really made sense with people. He had often said that he was an amateur sociologist. He loved simply watching people in the mall, airport, and restaurants, whatever.

I latched on to his comment about me having reacted to being caught for both a reason to try to contact him as well as to try to buy myself some time. I called his cell phone hoping to reach him, but knowing I would not. The husband never answers his phone in this situation in Literotica stories, does he? I think it must be a rule of the universe.

"You have the wrong number, Denise. I wouldn't guess that Mark is anywhere near Don in your speed dial."

The shock of hearing his actual voice instead of his voice mail greeting rocked me as I thought 'Of course, I wouldn't have Don in my speed dial" and "I can't believe you answered' seemingly all at the same time.

"M....Mark?

"

"Yes? Who did you think you'd get when you called this number? I assume you want the name of my lawyer so that you can give it to yours, but I don't have one, yet. I was planning to get one today."

"Oh my God! No! That's not why I was calling, Mark! I wanted you to know that some of what you told me yesterday actually sank in.

I'm sure that it will all sink in eventually, of course, but I wanted you to know that, even though you aren't really and realistically allowing for reconciliation, I want to make the effort to be worth a second chance with you.

I understand I have a lot of work to do and a lot of thinking about how I could have betrayed you this way. I know I can't realistically even approach you to talk about it until I have, but I want to and I hope you'll give me the chance to do that."

There was a long silence at the other end of the line as I held my breath.

"Denise.... You say you're hearing me, but clearly, you're not. Let me put it another way. Remember our discussions before we were married in which I expressed the concern that you might get bored or tired of me or figure out that you could easily find someone "in your league?"

Well, clearly you have done that now. I have no idea why you're engaging in this charade that you still want me, but I don't believe it. I told you yesterday that you need to go and be with Don now."

"Don is NOT what I want and he's married anyway."

"Sorry, but it doesn't work that way. You're still not getting it. YOU...DESTROYED...ME! Do you think that because I'm not crying and not asking you 'why' that it means you hurt me any less?

You have demonstrated that: I don't satisfy you sexually, you're not attracted to me, you don't respect me, and your marriage vows don't hold any value to you.

Nothing you can say will change any of that because your actions have already proved it. One thing I DO still have is my pride and I will NOT sacrifice that just so that I can live my life wondering when it's going to happen again or if you're thinking about him."

By this time, I was shaking. I had genuinely hoped that he would at least let me try, but it seems that the conditions he had laid out as being impossible really were impossible in his mind.

"Mark, I wish there were something I could say or do that would take it all away."

"Denise it's clear to me that you do not understand the magnitude of the situation. Let me leave you with these couple of thoughts. I can't say I don't love you anymore because I can't just turn it off as much as I wish I could. Having said that, love is an emotion, but it's also a choice.

I don't know how long this has been going on, but I do know that at some point, you made a choice to betray me.

Either you made it consciously and may have even made some attempt to rationalize it, or you made it subconsciously. There is no way that I can compete with Don or anyone else that is new and exciting to you after we've been together for as long as we have.

Clearly, you're not to that point, yet, but eventually, Don will be in the same boat that I am in that regard. What's going to happen at that point? Are you going to cheat on him, too? "

"Oh...and one other thing...do you really think that our sex life has remained as new and exciting to me as it was at the beginning? It has not because it can't.

Here's how I chose to address that in case you're curious. I tried hard to keep the romance alive and keep the excitement going for both of us by being spontaneous, making time for us, and making you feel sexy and special. Additionally...in those times that I found myself in situations where I was attracted to another woman and there seemed to be mutual interest...and there have been a few... I chose you.

Every time.

You chose Don, Denise."

"Goodbye Denise!"

Suddenly, so many things came into focus for me with those words. I am truly embarrassed by my actions in total, but one of the things about which I'm particularly embarrassed is the fact that it never even occurred to me that Mark may have an interest in cheating or an opportunity to cheat.

How thoughtless and arrogant I've been. I tried, for a moment to picture walking in on Mark with another woman and my heart broke. Peculiar isn't it? Just the thought of it broke my heart. Because of my actions, he had to live the real experience.

I realized that my faithfulness for most of our marriage wasn't a result of a great marriage, though we certainly had that. Nor was it the result of any great moral character on my part.

I simply had never been interested in all that many men. Every time I had been interested, I had acted upon it...even when I was happily married.

I don't like myself very much at the moment. Yes...that's stating the obvious. I have always taken some sort of pride in making good decisions and maintaining a focus on important things, but it seems I never learned one of life's most important lessons.

Interestingly, it's a lesson that most adults try to teach their children when they're very young.

Most of us can truly have anything we really want.

We just can't have 'everything' we want ....nor should we.