Shifting Illuminations

"What should I do?" His voice trembled slightly. "Do you have another antidote here?"

"No. I am being told not to be afraid, but I can't help it." She told him, her fur was itchy.

"Who told you this?" He questioned, alarmed.

"The animals." She rolled over onto her side and stood up. She was on all fours and stood tall and proud like the wolf she was. As she spoke to him, she felt the itchiness increase and dropped back down to roll onto her back to scratch the itch. The picture that made, a full grown wolf tossing itself about on his bed rumpling the covers made Le laugh. She moaned, annoyed with the itch.

"Aine, what are you doing?" He finally said her name and she pinned him with one eye.

"Scratching!" She growled at him. "Help me."

"You want me to help you scratch?" He laughed again at the absurdity and oddness of it all.

"Pleasssse!" There was an itch on her back she just couldn't reach. At least she still had a voice to speak with, somewhat. He did seem to understand her. She wasn't sure if he could hear her or just hear her thoughts. I didn't matter. He would do as she asked. "Now." She commanded. Le hesitated, but found his legs obeying her. He edged nearer the bed.

"I won't bite." She groaned, determined to relieve the itch. Aine's eyes stared back at him and made a wolfy-wink. He relaxed for a fraction of a second and placed his hands upon her soft fur. Her body was warm. An earthy smell wafted up to his nose and tickled his senses. He could smell woodsmoke and earth, sap of trees. He stroked his cheek against the fur, as his fingers sought the itch.

"Where does it itch?" His fingers hovered over her fur.

"Everywhere." She gritted her large teeth. His hands flew over her fur, trying to help her relieve the incessant itching. She turned her body towards his, exposing her belly to him. He eyed her belly and then eyed her.

"Here?" He asked. The wolf head nodded. He scratched the belly like he would a dog or a cat and was rewarded with an almost purr. He didn't know wolves could make such a sound. "Does that help?" The wolf body rolled over and he found himself half pinned beneath it. "Oof, Aine you're crushing me." He tried to shift her weight off him, but it was a futile attempt. The wolf body shifted position and curled around him, laying it's big head on him. It let out a loud sigh, then thumped down on the bed. She closed her eyes.

"Well, now what?" He asked out loud. A loud snore emitted from the animal. He grumbled and dropped his hands onto the furry head to pet her. He had no idea how to get the woman back. He no longer feared the wolf and found her fascinating and almost pup-like.

"God help me: I think I'm falling in love." Le whispered to himself. A big red-brown ear perked up and then flattened. He closed his eyes briefly, laying his head on hers. He was exhausted. A warm nose nudged him and a tongue licked. Satisfied, the shadow lifted off the woman, receding into the darkness. The woman stretched and curled around the man. They both slept soundly, if in a strange position. The shadow padded forward and touched its nose to the woman's forehead. She opened her eyes.

Drained and naked, Aine reached over and grabbed hold of the blanket, pulling it over herself and her companion. He was asleep and that's where she longed to be too. She fit herself against him and nuzzled him, before closing her eyes and drifting off.

***

Sunlight slanted through the window illuminating the radiant beauty in Le's arms. Aine's alabaster skin contrasted with the dark navy sheets of his bed. His bed. He felt his cock stir, realizing they were in his bed. It took him a moment to remember how they ended up there. Impossible scenes from last night and the past two days came rushing back to him, defying logic. Her head was pillowed on him, fiery locks fanning across the fine hairs of his chest. She lay on her stomach, sideways across the bed, her legs sprawled out.

Le reached down slowly to trace the curve of her backside, up her thigh to the small of her back. He left his hand there and lightly caressed with the tips of his fingers.

Aine groaned and nuzzled her face in the pillow. Her eyelids flew open and she quickly noticed three things, all at once: she was stark naked, her pillow was the chest of a man, and she felt a slight wetness between her thighs as the sensitive skin of her back was being touched. She lifted her head up to look at him and drew her legs together.

"Good morning." He smiled down at her.

"Morning?" Her head was pounding and her body ached. She turned her head, looking for a clock. 6 am. "I'm going to be late for work." She groaned, struggling to gain the energy to get up and move away. His hand pressed slightly on her lower back, until she lay back down.

"It's Saturday." And glad of that he was! "We don't work on Saturdays, Awn."

"Is it?" She wore a confused look on her face and sighed. "W-do I want to know what happened last night that led us here?" Her last recollection of last night was sitting and sipping tea, about to discuss her encounter with the animals, and then a mad embarrassed dash into the bathroom. Hazy images came to her mind of a wolf's face. She shook her head to clear it. She gave her co-worker, (lover?) an accusatory look as she sat up and scooted herself against his headboard. She wrapped her arms around her legs, drawing them close to her chest.

"You shapeshifted again. This time it was a complete transformation." Le provided her answer. She wished she could remember more.

"What happened?" She hesitated to ask him.

"You were glorious. You stalked me like I was your prey. I was afraid for half a minute: I admit. Your claws were bared and you were salivating. I knew you had no control. I trapped you." He explained, as matter of fact as he could.

"Trapped me?" She didn't like the sound of that.

"In the blankets. You leaped onto the bed and were slinking across it towards me. I threw blankets over your head." As he explained, her stomach did a flip-flop. She had always been claustrophobic and just hearing that she had been wrapped and trapped against her will made her cringe and feel ill. She lay her head on her knees and gasped for air, as if she could feel it happening all over again. His hand rubbed her back.

"For how long?" Her voice unsteady.

"Not long at all. I just needed to get you to calm down so that you didn't hurt yourself, or me. It was maybe a matter of ten minutes. Then I explained to you that I was going to unwrap you." He continued.

She breathed a sigh of relief. She trusted him and ten minutes wouldn't have been that terrible, if she felt safe. And she obviously did feel safe, if he was able to calm the beast enough to communicate to her. She wasn't a wolf now, was she?

"I was sorry for having to do that to you. But, it was the first thought that came to my mind. Were you scared?" His concern was genuine.

"I don't remember much. But, I am claustrophobic and so thinking about that happening freaks me out a little bit. I can't handle not being in control." She confessed. Le pulled the sheet up from the bottom of the bed and pulled it around her.

"I guess we should talk about what happened the other night. I was beginning to think maybe this whole thing was a terrible nightmare. But if what you say is true, then I have less control than I did before and I have to get a handle on it." She looked out the window. Le listened as she explained to him what happened while he was pleasuring her. The energy of their intimacy had caused her to go into a trance-like state, or maybe even leave her body. She wasn't sure yet how it happened. She told him about meeting the animal spirits and the messages they had to impart to her. She left out the part of last night that she did actually remember, the conversation in which the wolf spirit told her to trust and to open her heart. He didn't need to know that part, just yet, if ever.

"I felt something pulling me back. It was like I was in two places at the same time. Part of me could feel everything that was happening to my body. That felt amazing, what you were doing." She noted quietly, caught up in the story. "The other part wanted to stay and learn more. That part needed answers less ambiguous than the ones the animals were giving me." She turned her attention back to his face. His countenance was so calm it gave her the strength she needed to go on.

"The physical sensations won out over my mind. I felt like I was falling into a dark, yawning chasm. I was paralyzed with fear. But then, there was this blinding light and waves of warmth and then cold, hard, linoleum floor under my cheek. My body felt drained, but well, pretty satisfied." She finished, looking at him expectantly. What would he think? Le tried to think back to the two metaphysical, reference books he had immersed himself in. His photographic memory highlighted a section in Ted Andrews' Art of Shapeshifting on meeting animal guides.

"Aine. It sounds like you went on a journey." He told her.

"A journey?" Her brows knit.

"Yes, a vision quest journey. Shamans of many cultures go on them, especially as they are being initiated onto the shaman's path. This is where they meet their guides and gain wisdom." He told her what he had read, as he stroked his finger down her brow, smoothing out the wrinkle.

"Like the Native Americans. Yes, I've heard of them. But Le, I'm not Native American, nor am I a shaman." She reminded him, closing her eyes for a moment when he kissed the tip of her nose. He told her that she didn't have to be a shaman to go on a vision quest. There were actual books, like the one he was reading, which taught the average person how to go on them. He wasn't sure it they really worked, but the books were being written. He was trying to remain open-minded, after all he had just witnessed, there had to be some truth.

"It's all about visualization. Usually a guided visualization is all it takes and an open mind." He added. "You can read the visualization, listen to one, have a teacher guide you through, or you can make up your own. It seems that these animals have wisdom to impart to you." He moved his lips to the sprinkling of freckles across the bridge her nose and cheeks, hoping she wouldn't mind.

"Yes, that is what the wolf spirit said to me. She told me she had much to teach me. She told me she had wonders to show me. She told me I had a healing path." When Aine snuggled into Le's embrace, he knew he hadn't overstepped.

"Well, you are a doctor." He interrupted her.

"Yes, but she made it sound more than being a doctor. She told me she could give me information to help in our research." The last she said with some reservations, as she let out a huge yawn. But it was Le. It would be OK to tell him. Le filed the revelations away in the back of his mind to take out and pour over at another time. Right now, Aine needed his sound judgment. She sat up in the bed, unabashed by her nakedness, when the covers fell away.

"This makes sense." Le held his hand up and was using his pointer finger to tick a list off on his open hand. He nodded to himself and then turned to her. She had become more comfortable in the telling and had moved back down to lay beside him, her body on its side. Her hand was absently rubbing his arm. "This is good news."

"What is good news?" She squeezed his hand, seeking some type of reassurance.

"We are not dealing with a negative entity, nor a malevolent spirit or possession. We aren't even dealing with a were-wolf." He squeezed her hand in return.

"I agree, very good news. But what?" She nodded her head eagerly. His eyes were lit in excitement and she needed to know why.

"This whole thing is about you accepting yourself." He said simply as he placed his hand on her leg, gliding his fingers up her thigh to rest on her waist.

"Excuse me?" She choked on a breath, scoffing at him, incredulous. "I think I do a fine job accepting and conducting myself. I'm quite happy with who I am, what I've accomplished, and the direction my life is leading in. Thank you very much." She sat up, wrapped the sheet around herself tight, and slid out of the bed. She stood in front of the mirror over his dresser and looked at herself. Then rethought the wisdom of the mirror, in light of last night's events. It all had started with a mirror. She walked over to the window and gazed out. Her fists were clenched at her sides again.

"I know that. But there is something about yourself that you do not accept or do not acknowledge. We all have parts of ourselves that we'd rather not have to deal with. Can you not think of an area in your life or a part of your personality, or even of your past that you wish to keep hidden in the shadows of your mind?" He asked her gently. He climbed out of the bed and pulled on his boxer-briefs. He opened his top drawer and pulled out a white t-shirt. When Aine turned away from the window he tossed the t-shirt to her. She needed time. He would give her that.

"I'm going to make us some coffee and breakfast. Why don't you take a shower and give it some thought. This shirt should fit you, I think. We can talk more over breakfast." She accepted the t-shirt and followed him into the bathroom. She took the towel from him, as he turned the shower on, explaining there was a trick to changing the water from faucet to shower head and walked out. He closed the door behind him leaving her alone with her thoughts and the quickly gathering steam of the room. Maybe a shower would help.

She stepped into the shower and let the hot water sluice down her body, washing away the lingering body-weariness. Her hair was sticky with sweat and she needed to wash it. She saw his shampoo, popped the cap up and sniffed, breathing in his scent. It smelled like him, of course. It had a clean masculine scent. She poured a quarter-sized amount into her hand and rubbed it between her hands, getting it sudsy and massaged it into her scalp. She breathed in deeply and released the breath, relaxing her muscles. Then she found his soap and lathered that on herself, scrubbing her skin until it was pink and she felt more awake.

She paused to massage her breasts and pinch her nipples. She closed her eyes, letting the high-pressure water wash over her. She slid her hands down her abdomen to her mound. Her fingers wandered around, dipping in briefly, giving her a clit a quick rub, before returning her hands to her breasts. She could feel his mouth on her. But before she did something that would call attention to herself, like moan out loud, she shut the water off, stepped out of the tub and wrapped herself in the fluffy blue towel. She dried herself, removed the towel, bent at her waist so her hair hung down and twisted it atop her head. She slid the white t-shirt over her body and opened the door.

"Feel better?" Le asked, as she joined him in the kitchen. His t-shirt barely covered her thighs and when she went to sit down it lifted up and gave him a nice view of her bottom. She looked adorable in his t-shirt, with her hair up in a towel turban atop her head. He slid a mug of tea over to her. She wrapped her hands around the mug. His hand was still on it, beneath hers. He let go.

"That was just what I needed." She took a sip of the tea and sighed, contentedly. Le placed a plate with a selection of pastries in front of her: there were blueberry muffins, apple turnovers, and strawberry danishes filled with cream cheese. Her mouth watered as she took a bite out of the blueberry muffin. The blueberries were plump and gushed juice in her mouth. He wanted to lick the juices from those lips of hers, but restrained himself.

"Mm. What bakery are these from?" She looked up at him.

"My oven." He laughed at her surprised look and took a seat across from her.

"Honestly?" She asked, skeptical.

"Partially. I baked the muffins myself. The turnovers and danishes I did buy." He admitted. "I'm glad you like them." He watched her stuff another muffin into her mouth, savoring it. He was glad she was eating. "I had thought of making some bacon and eggs, but remembered your vegetarian status." He took a sip of strong coffee and watched her over the rim of the mug.

"No, no, this is perfect." She assured him. "I do eat eggs though, just no meat." She studied him. "For future reference." She smiled at him. Le was having a hard time keeping his eyes on her face and not letting it dip lower. Her curves clung to his t-shirt. He knew he would have to find something more appropriate for her to wear, eventually.

"So." She said. Le startled when he felt something touch his bare leg. Aine was having her own hard time keeping her eyes from wandering over his bare chest. She set her tea down, wiped her mouth with the napkin, and lifted her legs up to place them in his lap. His hands were only too happy to massage her feet.

"So." He repeated.

"I gave your theory some thought while I was showering." The images that simple statement conjured in his head, rushed directly to his other head. He shifted in his chair. He wondered if she could feel his erection. She lifted her feet off his lap and placed them on the floor. Although she was tense with her ordeal, she seemed more comfortable in his presence than he had seen her ever before. This was encouraging.

"There are things from my past that I don't wish to discuss now, but that might be part of this." She put her elbows on the table, interlaced her fingers together and rested her chin on her hands, leaning forward.

"Well, ah hell. The thing is, I've always had strange dreams. People in my family, especially the women, have a high level of intuition. I have always tried to ignore this in myself. It would not do, especially in our field, to be acting on hunches and not on facts and proven science. As a young girl, I had some experiences which I relegated to the realm of imagination and pushed away. I was not comfortable with these aspects of myself. They had no place in my busy, academic life. I closed that part of myself off to protect myself and my prospects." She twisted a strand of hair around her finger, absently.

Le listened in wonder as she shared about her life and her struggles. He was beginning to get a clearer picture of who Aine was, at the heart of her and why she came off aloof and often "cold." He had been right, it was a protective mechanism.

"This is the reason you come off unreachable, and forgive me, but sometimes frigid with people?" He wanted to make sure what he was hearing was correct. She nodded and sighed. She looked so vulnerable right then. Le covered her hand with his. She had been tapping her fingers on the table: Nervously? Anxiously? Bored?

"That and I feel very strongly. This is the reason I went into research and not into working directly with patients all the time. I have a hard time distancing myself, especially from the little ones. I had dreams of becoming a pediatrician, or even a veterinarian, once upon a time. I knew I wouldn't be able to keep my sanity if I did do that. I love animals too much and can't bear to see their suffering either. It amazes me how you are able to work with the kids, while remaining professional, but compassionate. I admire that in you, Le." She brought the back of his hand to her cheek.

"It is difficult. But, I keep the end result in mind." He told her. He turned his hand over and cupped her cheek, brushing a tear from the corner of her eye.

"You know, it is OK to be vulnerable sometimes. It might seem overwhelming and that you are drowning, but well if you have someone to anchor you..." He scooted his chair over to her and brought his other hand to her other cheek, cradling her face with both. "I could anchor you." He whispered.

Aine had never been so forthcoming with a person before, not even in her private life. But as Le had said, they were in this thing together. She did not answer him, but acknowledged his offer with a kiss. She told him about the dream in which the wolf attacked her -- the beginning of this. In the dream the wolf was stalking her. She tried running, but lost her footing and fell. The red wolf bit her, and she felt a surge of energy rush through her body and then sheer agony and voices bombarding her. Shortly thereafter was when the transformations had begun.