Sister Golden Hair Delight Ch. 34

Chapter 34

"You little love struck angel..."

Copyright @ calibeachgirl

All rights reserved, 2010

Mid-morning, December 15th

The Crowell Corporation, Malibu

Philip....

I was at a loss. My intense feelings for Alessa were sure to bring me trouble... if not professionally, then surely emotionally.

I refused to leave her to someone else. When Jim Crowell had assigned me to guard his fiancé little did he know he would be condemning me to an existence of agonizing emotional torment.

As her pregnancy advanced, I found her even more beautiful. Her slim figure had softened with the weight gain; she had more pronounced curves and continued to give me frustrated nights alone.

Each morning I rushed to be by her side knowing that it was all in vain. Whatever she had planned after the baby was born, she did not share with me and there was no way I could ask her without it being awkward for us.

Lately, though, she had surprised me during our daily walks ... quietly accepting my touch and physically moving closer as I held her about the waist while we visited toward his memorial. My companions, loyal to both of us, kept themselves present but almost invisible as they walked farther back.

**********

This morning, though, I could sense a change in the air as we carefully walked up the path into the hills. She knelt down and said not a prayer but more of an almost silent conversation with the spirit of Jim Crowell yet still loud enough for me to hear. I sometimes wonder whether she was speaking to a ghost or to me.

"Jimmy... I know that you love me... everything I have today is because of you, including this baby I'm going to have. It was quite a surprise and I do so wish you were here with me... with us..."

She began to cry into her hands folded against her face.

I heard her sobbing and I almost moved to comfort her and then knew it had to be something she worked out for herself and as much as I wanted to look away I couldn't.

"We would have been married in just ten days. I don't know, maybe you would have moved it up a bit considering I'm four months pregnant now.

"I know you're watching down on me... I guess you know what Maria and I have been doing. It doesn't take anything away from what you and I had; it's just different. I don't know why it happened but I'm happier now than anytime since you left that evening. I love you, Jimmy and I always will. Now I know how you felt about Miriam."

I had no idea what the hell she was talking about and that was my fault. As head of security and her personal bodyguard, I should have known everything she did. I berated myself angrily at my seemingly incompetent work. I couldn't see the forest for the trees.

"Maria's brought this man, Michael, to stay with us. I know she was planning to marry him but I've seen why that won't happen. I feel so badly for her... and for him. We're trying so hard to fix him, we refuse to accept what he is. She cares enough about him to keep him with us but I don't know if he'll ever be her husband."

Naturally, I was aware of the former commander coming up from San Diego and that he was staying with Maria. I hadn't give it much thought other than thinking, as most of the men here did, what a lucky son-of-a-bitch he was to be sleeping with her.

Once again, I was totally confused and made another mental note to find out what was going on. How had I missed whatever she was talking about now?

"I know we've done some strange things and for that... I would like to say I'm sorry but... I don't know... it's going to sound strange but I find it comforting, loving, exciting. I hope that doesn't make you sad. You had more than one love in your life."

A faint blush moved up her neck and into her light caramel-toned face. She fought back a tear and turned back to the gravesite.

I actually was thinking of quitting the business. There were so many things running under the surface that not only I but my entire team had been unaware of. Damn! What was going on between Alessa and Maria? If they were involved with each other... I didn't even want to think about it. If that were the case then I had no chance of ever being with her in the way I so badly wanted.

Alessa continued speaking to both Jim and me, that I was sure of.

"Nothing turned out the way we hoped for, did it? Fate's a bitch.

I'm going to talk to Maria about someone I really like and see what she says. I refuse to hurt her. I love her and I know she loves me but sometimes I wish for a man to love me like you did."

Was she bi? And, who was this someone she was speaking about? Could it possibly be me? I'm the only one that's been with her but then, again, I completely missed everything else so why couldn't I have missed this mystery man? I felt so trashed.

"I will always love you, Jimmy."

Alessa stood up from the cushions and put her beautiful dark-honey hand in mine. "I'm done here, Philip. Please take me home."

We walked down the path hand in hand and back to the building.

Before we walked inside, she turned to me. "Thank you, Philip." She gently kissed me, playfully licking my lips, slipped her tongue in for just a fantastic moment and walked inside, leaving me standing outside wondering what just what the hell happened.

**********

Alessa....

I took the elevator back to the top office floor and walked into my office suite with a newfound bounce in my step and a smile on my face. I had just kissed the first man ever since loving Jimmy and I felt good, so good.

Mary Tybal....

I instantly saw the transformation in Alessa and wondered just what had happened in the last hour since she had left with Philip to visit Jim's gravesite. Whatever it was I was glad to see it and welcomed back the 'Alessa' I had met those two first weeks before the tragedy. I looked for Philip. I thought it strange that after all this time he was absent from her office.

'No... she couldn't have. Could she? And, where's Philip, anyway? He's always with her...'

"Mary, would you please bring whatever we haven't finished from this morning. Thanks."

I rushed to gather up my wits and papers and hurry into Alessa's office.

**********

Alessa....

As the clock approached eight in the evening, we finally closed the last file.

"I apologize that it took so long," I said, "I guess I haven't been myself lately."

"Alessa, don't you worry about it. I'm glad that you're back. There's nothing on the calendar for tomorrow. Are you going...?"

"To take it easy? No, there's been enough of that... It's time to start making some more money around here. I think it's time to dust off Jimmy's Ventura project and see what we can do with it. Say we meet here at nine in the morning, go 'till lunchtime, then go up there and have a quick look. I've never been there because... well, I've never been there.

"It's time to change that and start acting like the CEO of this place.

"Remember how Jimmy would set up his collaborative enterprises with the people here? I want to go halves on this with you. Are you up to busting your ass for a couple of years? I'm thinking of breaking the development off into a separately held company. I'd have to find someone to replace you here, though. I'll think about that.

"Set up for the trip, early afternoon... You and me... Philip and at least one other person and reservations somewhere worth eating, maybe at the Marina. Ask Philip whether we are going to drive or fly."

Mary....

I was stunned. Alessa was offering me the chance to make tens of millions of dollars. "I don't know what to say, Alessa."

"Well, let's start with 'yes' and go from there."

"Oh, thank you... Thank you. I won't let you down."

"You haven't yet so I'm good. C'mon, let's turn out the lights and go home. Oh, and one more thing, make me an early appointment with the salon. I need to do something about all this hair."

Oh, shit, what was she going to do with her fantastic hair?

Alessa....

We took the elevator up to the residential floors. Mary got off two floors below mine and waved as the doors closed.

I walked down the hallway, swiped my key card through the slot and walked in.

"Honey, I'm home!" I laughed.

Michael came into the room. He was wearing a polo shirt, khakis and house shoes. He stood silently with his head bowed waiting for my permission to move again.

"Hello, Michael. Are you well? I've told you, we don't want you to do that anymore. We want you to be the man you should have always been."

"Yes, Mistress Alessa, thank you. I am fine. I hope that you had a pleasant day. Mistress Maria is still at her office and has told me to tell you not to wait dinner for her."

"Of course, Michael, thank you. Please help me with my clothes."

I walked through the apartment suite to check on what he had done during the afternoon. Each room was nicely done until I came to Maria's closet. Down on the corner of the doorway where the jamb met the thick rug was a small piece of white lint. I almost was going to ignore it.

Michael still expected to be corrected if something wasn't perfect so that he could do harder the next time. As much as I didn't want to do it this late in the evening I knew I had to.

No matter how much Maria and I have tried to bring Michael back to the land of the living, to finally be a man in all things, we found that it was slow going and Maria sometimes took out her desperation on him.

If Maria saw it, her treatment of him would be much harsher so frustrated she was with how this affair was turning out. Her extreme disillusionment in his personality, I think, had warped her own sense of propriety at times. I knew that she would really hit him for even something like this.

I couldn't understand how he could submit it but I knew somehow that he perversely still did. We would just have to try harder. I personally was also about ready to give up on him but Maria had insisted that we do everything humanly possible to help him even though her frustration with him was growing each day. If we indeed did give up, then he would remain the 'houseboy' for the rest of his life and neither Maria nor I wanted that to happen.

"Michael, get your sorry ass in here... NOW!" I surprised myself at the anger in my own voice. I would have to watch myself if Maria's growing cynicism was entering my own heart.

He hurried in and immediately went down on his knees bowing to the ground.

"God damn it, Michael! We told you not to fucking do that anymore!!! Shit!"

I was immediately sorry I screamed at him. It was not in my nature and Michael's presence in our apartment was indeed causing me problems. I wondered if my pregnancy had something to do with; I was finding myself so much more emotional than even a few weeks before.

"Michael, listen to me. I'm sorry. Get up. We told you, no more kneeling on the floor. You're a man, goddamn it. It's fucking time to start acting like one, again. Please, Michael. I'm very sorry that your life has become what it is. I'm trying to help you, here. You know that Maria brought you home to us because she believed if you stayed with your mother and sisters your life would be a much greater hell than could ever happen here.

"Now, look here. What do you see?"

He looked, squinting. He moved his head closer, still trying to see what had been so apparent to me. Slowly, he moved his fingers toward the lint ball and missed.

Ah, crap. Michael needed glasses!

"Oh, Michael, I'm so sorry. You need glasses, honey. We'll take care of that tomorrow morning. Let me get it for you."

I bent over carefully and got the offending piece of fluff and threw it away.

As I went into my own bedroom, he followed to help me undress and put away my clothes. If things had been different, I would never have allowed a man into my bedroom undressing me unless he was my lover. Michael, though...

Soon enough, I was nude and entering my bathroom as he put my clothing into the hamper for pickup early in the morning. While the water was warming in the shower, he entered the bathroom with his collection of lufa sponges, bath oils and baby powders.

The walk-in shower was naturally large enough for at least two people and as soon as he had taken off his shirt and pants he stepped in and adjusted the final temperature of the water. He kept his shorts on as I had told him to from the first week he was here. That sadness wasn't something I cared to see nor did I want to experience the possibility that he COULD have an erection while with me.

He washed my long curly hair carefully for one time I had winced when he caught his fingers in a knot. He had been so apologetic it was sad. I had considered washing myself after that but with my pregnancy I wanted to make sure my back was washed as well as could be.

As he washed my hair, I had my eyes closed dreaming of Jimmy washing my hair. Unashamedly, I put my right hand down and started fingering myself and rubbing small circles around my clit. Michael still didn't enter my mind as a man.

As soon as he took the lufa sponge and began doing my back with it, I came. It wasn't one of those earth-shattering 'rock-my-world' orgasms but a warm shudder that made me feel good. Somehow my vision of Jimmy morphed into a vision of Philip and then I did shake enough that Michael touched me without permission to keep me from falling down.

Later, as he was patting my skin dry I said 'thank you.' It must have made his day for he smiled more than any other time since he arrived.

I admit that I did sneak a peek hoping to see some reaction from him but his erection still wasn't there. Stupid fucking Hunter women! They really screwed up Michael far more than either Maria or I thought. You'd have figured a naked woman in a shower and you were washing her back... should have been some kind of reaction.

To Maria's credit, she had removed his 'cage' as soon as they arrived home, wishing that would be enough to rekindle his manhood but it's been some time now and still nothing. Maria refused to give up and so I wouldn't either.

**********

Early morning, Sunday, December 16th

The Corporation's beauty salon, Brittany's station

"Oh, no, you don't want to do that!"

I looked at Brittany, one of the three in-house hairdressers. She was shocked at what I proposed. "I'm quite serious, this is what I want." I handed her some pictures I found from the internet... one was of a Robert Palmer girl and the others were stereotypical librarians with their combed back into a tight bun at the back of their heads.

"But... you have such beautiful hair... I wish I had hair like yours..."

The drop in her voice told me she was sadder about my decision than I was. The poor woman sounded dejected. I could take the time to explain why I wanted to so drastically change my look, that with Jimmy gone it was no longer the same, that the happy young woman I had been just a few months ago was dead to me, that the hair had been only for him... what would be the point? It was only important to me.

I could have said all that but it would have seemed like going to a Catholic confession, baring my innermost feelings to someone who had no business knowing them. I hadn't even told Maria what I was going to do. She would find out soon enough, I guess.

While Brittany worked her chemical magic to straighten my once so beloved curly hair, I kept my eyes shut trying to stop the tears. It was as if the last visible connection I had with him was gone and then I remembered that my figure was soon going to be that of a mother-to-be. I almost laughed aloud; I was worrying about physical reminders and I would soon have a little reminder calling for 'mommy.'

"Miss Lane, you have to remember that until your hair is long enough to pin back by itself, I'm going to have to use spray to keep it in place."

"Just as long as it's safe for the baby."

She rinsed the chemicals out and began to comb my hair back, doing the best she could, given the relative shortness of my formerly curly locks.

I immediately had misgivings, looking at myself in the mirror. I didn't recognize myself and I had stared at my face my whole life. Who was that person looking back at me? I saw a sad, lonely woman wishing that life had done better for her, knowing all the money in the world could never replace a loved one and that her child was never going to know her father.

I almost asked Brittany to stop what she was doing and try and put it back the way it was... almost.

But, I didn't like it. I didn't like the tight 'bun' at the back.

"Maybe, we could let it fly loose at the back, do you know what I mean?" I tried to make my hair a little loose at the back, fighting the lacquer that held it tightly against my head. "Ouch!" I yelled at my own stupidity.

"I'll have to wash it all out and start over, Miss Lane."

"I'm sorry, please do it."

When she was finished I was able to see a 'new me,' a woman that had to face the problems of keeping the Corporation together without his guidance. I had to do it... I could do it... I will do it. I really liked it... business without the severity the first 'do had. A little playful with the hair almost exploding out the back of the gold barrette I had brought.

"You'll come in each morning to get it set, all right? That way I can use gentler sprays until your hair is completely grown out and stays that way by itself."

"Thank you, Brittany." I left her a $500 tip on her account and tried to walk to my office without being distracted by all the people stopping and staring at me.

Just as I would get used to my look, so would they.

**********

Settling in behind my desk, I called Maria on the Blackberry. It was a good thing we weren't using those new phones letting you see the other person. It was going to be a big enough surprise for her without worrying about it all day long.

"Alessa, baby..."

Ever since Jimmy had died, our agreement not to call during the workday had vanished without comment. We had settled into a relationship, while not conventional, was comfortable and more satisfying than living alone. I wondered what Jimmy would have thought about it. I think he would have been happy that we had become more than friends.

"Maria, I would like to use Michael for some office work. Even though he still has issues, he is very intelligent and I need someone like that right now. We can't bring in someone else for this, the material is too proprietary. I'm moving Mary to head up a new division and she'll spend her whole time on that. She'll probably live and dream the thing."

"Alessa, you know you can do whatever you want. Thanks, though, for letting me know since that means he'll be behind in his duties."

"That's another thing I'd like to talk to you about. He's too valuable for us too waste straightening up an apartment we're never really in. I think it might help him regain... you know, his self-respect for starters and then hopefully we could go from there."

"The way you put it, you're right... I've just been afraid that he would do something to embarrass himself in front of everyone."

"I'm going to have him with me right here. Are you going to be free for lunch?"

"I hope so. I'll let you know when."

"I love you." I disconnected and then called my apartment.

"Michael, I need you to come to my office and help me with something very important. Put on a nice light colored shirt, a tie and some good slacks and come down here as soon as you can." I almost said, 'thank you,' but caught myself at the last second. He had not reached that point in our attempts to revive his masculinity.

A very, very short time later, he knocked on my door and I told him to come in. I believe that he actually ran down the stairs rather than wait for an elevator.

"Hi, Michael. How are you doing this morning?" Even though we had spoken earlier in the day, I wanted him to realize that both Maria and I did care about his personal welfare. His ego was like a shattered porcelain bowl, so fragile, so delicate and so necessary to be put back together again piece by broken piece. If she and I lasted that long.