I woke late, from a deep sleep. I was tangled in the sheets of the bed and I was hugging the pillow. At first it was like any morning of my life but then I felt the warm glow radiate through me and recalled that my whole world was now changed.
The warm glow faded quickly when I realised that the bed was empty and the room somehow unfamiliar.
Then I remembered...
24 hours earlier...
"God I'm depressed, I don't know what to do anymore." Lucy ranted at me for the hundredth time about her scumbag of a boyfriend Mark. He didn't deserve her I had always thought that but never dared tell her until this latest indiscretion on his part.
"You could do so much better." I urged trying to sound comforting and not bitter.
"Can we go out?" Lucy asked with a delicate smile trying to hide the hurt in her eyes, more from having to admit that she was wrong about him than actual hurt of him leaving her for some Barmaid from "The Mill" a bar that he and his sleazy work colleagues frequented.
"Sure, where are you thinking? " I had a couple of destinations in mind but wanted to make this about Lucy. She was the best friend I had ever had; no one else had ever stuck by me this long.
She was a kind and loyal friend with a solid approach to life, just not men, they treated her badly chewed her up spat her out regularly and abused her kind nature. I was however always there to pick up the pieces.
"Take me anywhere." she said "Just make it out of this town."
"No problem." I said as I dialled my sisters number, she lived out by the coast and was sure to have a fun packed weekend planned as she was a few years younger than us, and single. She was always out on the town having fun. "I'm just calling Michelle, she won't mind if we rock up and tag along with her plans for the weekend! Is that ok with you?"
Lucy smiled a big smile and was up off the couch in a flash with her overnight bag being pulled out of the cupboard. Lucy loved Michelle's place she said she would love to move out to the coast but her job prevented her from moving too far from the city. Michelle's place was a good hour and a half out of the city and had an amazing view from all sides and just five minutes walk from the most amazing beach. You could sit there for hours and never see a soul. It was an amazing place and I knew only too well its healing powers. The town itself wasn't exactly the life of the party but it had a couple of bars that you could normally have a great time in -- more because the people were lovely and the drinks were cheap!
Not fifteen minutes had passed and Lucy was transformed from the sad lonely looking Lucy she was when I arrived, just 2 hours earlier into the lively party girl she was when we met, she was stood in the doorway overnight bag in hand, big smile on her face ready to get going.
"God you have the best ideas!" She smiled again and I felt relieved she was prepared to put Mark behind her and enjoy the weekend.
The drive to Michelle's was great we had the roof of my old convertible down and the music blaring, we didn't speak much on the way there was just lots of singing and smiling and I was only too glad to be a distraction in the latest of Lucy's boyfriend dramas.
We arrived at Michelle's place about 1:15pm and her car wasn't in the driveway. I assumed she was at work when I called and left her a message earlier so it was no surprise she wasn't in when we arrived. I had a key so Lucy and I let ourselves in. My message blinked on the machine.
I called her office number and her secretary answered.
"She's out of town for a few days on business." Susan her secretary informed me.
Damn, I thought she was really going to provide a distraction for Lucy with her circle of friends we had been bound to have a scream.
Lucy didn't seem to be at all disappointed by what I thought would be a setback for her, but she bounded merrily over to the fridge to help herself to a bottle of beer.
"No worries, we can have a good time just the two of us!" She almost sounded like her normal self. "Let's go out on the front porch and sunbathe?" She was rummaging in her bag for her bikini.
I obediently walked into the guest bedroom and opened the wardrobe. I had plenty of stuff there from my frequent visits to my sisters amazing house. I quickly dropped my clothes to the floor and shuffled into my bikini.
When I got back to the living room Lucy's clothes were in a heap on the floor and the door was open with the white curtain blowing in the cool breeze.
I walked out onto the porch, beer in hand and my iPod in the other. I laid myself out on the sun lounger next to Lucy and switched my iPod on loud.
When I woke it was becoming dusky, about 7pm I would have guessed. I couldn't believe I was sleeping, let alone for nearly five hours. I looked at the time on my iPod it said 7:16, I looked over to speak to Lucy but she was not there. I got up still feeling foggy and went into the house. All the lights were off and there was no sign of Lucy anywhere. I saw a note on the counter as I headed back out from checking the bedrooms it simply said
"Gone for a walk to the beach, I'll be back for dinner. L XX."
Damn, I thought to myself I must have really been out cold, I decided to take a shower before Lucy got back as we would need to get ready to head out for our Friday night of fun.
I got showered and changed into something appropriate for the bars here, not as classy as the ones in the city but still, I had a denim skirt on that was shorter than I normally wore and meant I couldn't bend over without feeling self conscious and a purple top that hugged my figure in all the right places.
The clock now read 8:02; I was starting to get worried. I thought I would take a walk down to the beach and see if I could see Lucy so I slipped my flat sandals on and headed out the door. When I got to the beach I could see the silhouette of a person sitting cross legged on the sand. As I approached the figure I could tell it was Lucy her blonde hair blowing in the breeze. I think she heard me approach but didn't look my way. I carried on toward her and stood beside her.
"You know it's after eight right? I was starting to get worried."
"Sorry." She looked up sideways "I got carried away with my thoughts and just kind of sat here staring into space..."
I always think that I can read Lucy quite well but here in this moment she was alien to me like a stranger that I couldn't comprehend. I couldn't gauge her tone, nor sense her mood. I was at a loss for what to say next so I just stood there silently for what seemed like another hour but in reality was about ten minutes.
I finally decided that if she wasn't going to speak I had better "c'mon Luce it's getting cold and if you want to get some food and head to the bar we had better get moving."
She shuffled a bit and then stood up and fell into step beside me. This place was magical, surreal it was so beautiful and tranquil, the only sound that could be heard as we walked off the beach was the waves moving gently and the birds flying overhead. Lucy broke the silence first.
"Stop walking I need to speak to you about something?" Still she sounded like a stranger.
"What is it, what's wrong?" This strange behaviour was starting to bug me I thought maybe Mark had had a worse impact on her than I had realised.
"You were talking in your sleep..." she said a pained expression appeared on her face. I wanted to laugh but I couldn't the expression was too serious and I couldn't imagine anything that I could have said would have been that bad. "You were talking about Mark being a scumbag then you said something that I couldn't grasp but I need to ask you, you said I could do better."
"Well you can." I thought it was time to interject.
"But then you said something that I haven't been able to stop thinking about since, you said I should be with you..."
Her voice trailed off and I stood mouth hanging open, in shock and awe that something that I could have said in my sleep would have such a serious impact on her.
"Surely that's not bothering you, I was asleep I didn't mean it I don't think of you that way." I garbled out trying to calm her down.
With that she turned and started marching off back towards the house. The thing about Lucy was she had studied Psychology for a year and everything you said or did had to have intent and meaning and some greater purpose. I chased after her and caught up to her at the porch steps.
"Luce, don't blow this out of proportion. I was asleep it meant nothing, like I said I don't think of you that way."
She turned round and looked at me with tears in her eyes and marched off into the house, straight into the bathroom and locked the door.
"Fucking idiotic, fucking psychology students, studying psychology makes you fucking psychotic!" I grumbled as I opened the cabinet and took out the bottle of Tequila and a shot glass. I poured a shot and swallowed it, the fire in my throat now matching my mood. I quickly poured another and swallowed it again in one and repeated the same process three or four more times.
A few minutes passed and I started to feel the buzz of the Tequila surrounding me. Then I heard the shower cut off and heard the door open and then heard the bedroom door close just as quickly. I knew I needed to get her to talk to me but I thought given my alleged sleep confession of romantic notions towards her, now probably wasn't the best time to go barging in on her half naked to talk.
Another Tequila however and I decided it had to happen sometime and she had had more than enough time to get covered up. I marched determinedly over to the bedroom door, knocked, pushed the handle down and walked in.
She stood like a rabbit in headlights staring at me red eyes wide open.
"What do you want?" She demanded
"Don't you think we need to talk? You accuse me of being gay and suggesting we be together, in my sleep might I add, then storm off and barricade yourself in the bathroom. Now I know you have had a rough day but I am on your side. I'm not the fucking enemy you know! Nor might I add am I a lesbian!" I hated swearing and only did it under extreme circumstances and after a few drinks, this situation covered both.
"I don't want to talk; you have told me you aren't into me that way. I believe you so let's forget it and go out?" She offered, trying her best to smile.
"Um... OK... I guess." She threw me off track with her calm response.
"Right well give me five more minutes and I'll be ready. I'm not really hungry so let's just head off to the bar and have a good night"
"Sure." I said feeling a sense of relief that she seemed to have gotten over it at least for now and we could go on with our plans. I only hoped that this wouldn't reappear at a later date.
With that I went back to my room to touch up the little bit of makeup I had put on earlier.
Lucy emerged from the bedroom looking lovely in a cotton skirt longer than mine but hers was white and showed off her tanned legs beautifully and a black top which she wore quite a lot that normally signalled she meant business, it was very low cut and always guaranteed her male attention.
We walked in silence to the bar which was about fifteen minutes away and when we arrived I could hear the music from across the street. I saw a familiar face outside it was Bobby my sisters' best friend.
"Hey Bob!" I greeted him warmly as we walked towards him
"Hi there ladies, you look stunning.... wait... what's missing.... Where's Michelle?" He started to sound disappointed
"Away on business, I came up to get this one out of her 'boyfriend dumped her doldrums' and was surprised to find Shell not here." Lucy shot me a scowl of disapproval as Bobby had tried it on with her at least twice to my knowledge and she wasn't into him.
"Oh yeah? Boyfriend trouble? Now you mention it your sister did mention that she was going away for a few days."
Again Lucy scowled.
"C'mon inside let's get you girls a drink?" Bobby winked at us, and Lucy continued her scowl.
Once we were inside I realised it was quite busy and there were lots of people to drink and dance with. Lucy's mood seemed to lighten the minute we walked in the door which relieved me. We got drinks and she immediately was approached by another guy who wanted to dance. He was more Lucy's normal type and so she readily agreed and they went off dancing to some hip hop tune. Bobby came over and grabbed my hand and dragged me off onto the dance floor for a bit of bump and grind. We were having a great time, every now and again I looked around for Lucy just to check she was ok. Every time I looked for her, her eyes seemed to meet mine for a moment then she would look away, almost like she had been caught staring.
We drank and danced until midnight and I decided I wanted to go home, I had had a great time but my feet were killing and I was really tired; despite my afternoon sleep! I went to find Lucy who had danced with about every guy in the place, and was kissing the guy she danced with first when I eventually found her.
"Luce, I want to get going I'm really tired now." I said as I got within hearing distance. No response...
"Lucy, please can we go now?" I repeated
"In a minute!" she snapped "I'm kind of busy here, can't you get Bobby to take you home? You looked like you were having a great time together?" Her tone was suggestive and infuriated me.
"We were, we danced like idiots and drank but now I want to go and I have no intention of taking Bobby home at least not in the manner you implied and I won't be leaving you here by yourself." I was getting mad.
"Don't worry about me Duncan will bring me back, wont you Duncan?" Lucy was being defiant.
"Um actually my name is Andrew and I am leaving now..." Andrew slouched off obviously offended by Lucy.
"Come on then since your date has gone to find someone who can remember his name can we go home now?"
"Sure, Fine, Whatever!" She growled like a teenager.
Again we made most of the walk in silence.
"You really like Bobby don't you?" she teased as we neared the house
"No he is like my extended family."
"Well he certainly has the hots for you."
"Don't be ridiculous!" I retorted, "last time we were here he tried it on with you if you remember?"
"Well I am sure that was only to evoke a reaction from you." She spat back quickly.
"For God's sake, now are you trying to pick a fight? What is it you want me to say? I'm sorry I said something obscure earlier I really am but if you are going to continue to punish me for it for the rest of the weekend then I may as well go home now." I stared her straight in the eyes "Tell me what you want me to say?!" I demanded again now getting really frustrated with Lucy and her strange behaviour.
There was a long silence and Lucy stared me straight back in the eyes, with the same distant expression she wore earlier at the beach.
"Well?" I barked at her "Are we going to stand here all night?" I snapped "Tell me what the fuck you want me to say!!"
"I want..." She gulped; her voice was trembling as she paused "I want..."
"Come on, I am losing patience now!"
Lucy looked scared, tears started to fall onto her cheeks...
"I want you to tell me it's true?" She sobbed breathlessly
"To tell you what is true?" I was really lost with the track of this conversation.
"That... you... want... to be with... me." She finally cried out and turned and stormed into the house and for the second time today she slammed the bathroom door behind her.
Her words rocked me to my core, I had never thought about Lucy that way. I had had too much to drink to pursue this conversation or deal with Lucy's dramatics so I calmly walked inside and went into my bedroom.
I laid on my back in the dark and when I glanced over at the clock it was 1:02am, I heard Lucy moving about from the bathroom to the living room, to the drinks cabinet and heard the bottle of tequila meet the glass and Lucy make a gagging noise as she swallowed the fiery liquid. I knew she hated tequila.
I turned on my side and closed my eyes and I was almost asleep when I heard the door open quietly and saw a beam of light appear across the ceiling. I froze. Almost too scared to breathe as I was really tired and didn't want to continue the conversation now. I lay perfectly still, then I heard her move, the beam of light got bigger and then disappeared entirely. I heard the door click shut and let out a sigh of relief.
"Pretending to be asleep were you?" Lucy whispered as she sat on the side of my bed. I nearly died and I went rigid again from embarrassment and unease that she was now sitting on my bed.
I felt her move on the bed and felt her put her hand gently on my shoulder. "I know you are awake, I think we need to talk."
"Can't we do this in the morning?" I asked wearily. I rolled over to face her "I think we have both had too much to drink to do this now."
She moved closer to me and I could smell the tequila on her breath as she said "I hate the way you make me feel" in a whispered voice.
I sat up on my elbows and looked at her through my sleepy eyes, her expression was very serious, she leaned towards me until her lips met mine and I jumped back in shock. "What do you think you are doing" I demanded of her.
"I want you, and I know that some part of you wants me too even if it's a small part, you confirmed it for me this afternoon."
"I was asleep for Christ's sake Luce!" I sat back. Although I could not now ignore the burning I felt on my lips from her kiss, it must be the Tequila I told myself. "I've told you I'm not gay and I don't think of you that way." I said calmly
"Well I don't think I'm gay either but I can't escape the way I feel about you and how much I want to kiss you." She still looked very cross and had a very cute frown, which never stood her well in an argument. I sighed and lay back on the bed. "What a fucking crazy day." I laughed and Lucy leaned in to kiss me again.
I fought her for a second but she was more forceful this time and the taste of her and the Tequila intoxicated me and before I knew it I was kissing her back.
She had one hand holding my head in the kiss, just in case I changed my mind I think and her other hand moved the blankets off the bed and she crawled under. I could tell she was nervous and I was still fighting my own internal battle but couldn't figure out why I was starting to feel so incredibly turned on by her kiss. I shifted uncomfortably at that realisation which Lucy took as a sign to move on and used her free hand to run down my neck to my breasts which responded eagerly to her touch. I was enjoying the physical sensations more than I ever had before with a guy. But inside, my head was in turmoil. When she broke our kiss and started kissing my neck my mind went into overdrive. I opened my mouth to speak but as I began Lucy took one of my nipples in her mouth and I moaned in ecstasy.
She played with my breasts, caressing them with her hands and sucking and kissing them in turn making me moan in approval, I was unable to fight the pleasure now and my mind went totally blank and let my body enjoy the sensation of her touching and sucking my breasts.
I started to panic again when I felt her hand at the waistband of my pants which must surely be my give away that I was enjoying this all too much, she passed her hand under the waistband with ease and stopped as she reached the top of my neatly trimmed pussy. I think she felt my body tense and paused as if for approval. I was so hot by this point I don't think I could have stopped her if I had wanted to. She brought her head up and looked me straight in the eyes her hand not moving, still waiting for approval. She carried on looking me straight in the eyes and began to move her hand inside the waistband of my panties.