Snowboards & Hot Tubs Ch. 02

To top off matters, we kept hearing the cries of ecstasy from the open doorway out to the hall. Taryn's screams of pleasure were echoing through the whole house. And then there was Stephanie, as if competing with her friend, moaning and gasping with my every push, drowning out the sounds of Taryn's cries. And I found myself driving in even harder, pushing Stephanie to higher and higher plateaus of pleasure in my own desire to conquer Taryn's sexual experience.

Taryn had always been that pretty best friend with whom I'd always secretly been crushing on. But Stephanie was always there too, the sweet and beautiful girl I'd never been close to; but every time I saw her a sensual thrill zipped through my body. And now the pent-up lust I'd always had for her was pouring out, filling me with an abundance of energy that kept us going and going and going. Even when Taryn's cries faded away I kept myself grinding and scratching and FUCKING this gorgeous woman trapped beneath me, and Stephanie was crying and smiling from the overload of sex permeating her brain.

And then we hit the breaking point, and I was gushing into her, cumming in rivers to match the tidal waves of Stephanie's latest climax. My jaw was open, my throat gasping but not getting any air as my rigid body quivered with the power of the orgasm. And Stephanie was riding it with me, tears streaming from her eyes, her mouth open in silent gasp, her hips lifting us both up and off the mattress with impossible strength.

And then the flow was gone, the light fading from Stephanie's eyes as we sank down into the bed. Her eyes fluttered before they closed and then she was asleep. I felt the bruised pain in my hips, the burning red in my muscles as I sank down to the bed. The tension in me was spent, and I felt my body sag in relief at the over-exertion I'd forced upon it coming to an end.

Stephanie was beautiful. Her silky, jet black hair was splayed out behind her like a halo as she slept, finally at peace. I snuggled in close to her, one arm reached out behind her, the other wrapping across her nude body. I closed my eyes, sighing. And I felt my consciousness flowing out of me as that sighing breath blew out from my lips.

Stephanie was great. But this last thought popped into my mind before sleep overcame me: No matter how great Stephanie was, the one you really want is Taryn.

***

Ugh, my head hurt. My eyes fluttered open to find myself still in the shower, although the water had been turned off. At least Derrick was considerate enough to drape a towel over me.

I sat up, peeling my face off the wall. I just knew I was going to have that tile pattern embedded into my cheek. Standing up, I wrapped the towel around me, tucking the last fold between my tits. I needed to find some clothes. The soft robe I'd worn this morning was still hanging on a towel rack, I held it in my hands as I turned down the hallway and headed to the room I now shared with Chris.

I wondered where he was. Maybe we could go for a walk around the lake while we still had time. Just the two of us.

The doorway was open, and walking through I abruptly stopped just inside the doorway when I saw him. Chris's back was to me, his cute ass sticking back at me. But then I saw the silky black hair that could only be Stephanie's head peeking out. I stepped forwards, almost tiptoeing in an effort to remain perfectly quiet.

They were cuddled together, his arm wrapped easily around her. I could only imagine that this was exactly how he was with me last night. I wasn't angry. I wasn't jealous. But a tear dropped from my eye anyways.

Forgetting about being quiet and stealthy, I ran out of the room and down the stairs to the living room. I scanned around to find the first floor empty. I realized I was still holding my robe, so I slipped it on, satisfied that between it and the towel I was relatively fully clothed.

I found a plush chair, and rotated it around until it was pointed towards a window. I sank myself into it, pulling my legs up under me as I gazed out towards the trees. It was snowing, very lightly, and my gaze zoned out amidst the winter whiteness.

Even as my eyes unfocused, my thoughts sharpened and turned inwards. Why was I upset that Chris was cuddled with Stephanie? And why wasn't I jealous? Did that mean that I didn't really care for him? I mean, if I wanted a relationship with the boy, I should have gotten jealous at seeing him so intimately cuddled with her. Right?

But I wasn't jealous. I was only sad. Just sad in knowing that I could have been in Stephanie's place. I could have shared that with Chris, and he would be cuddling with me right now. Sad, and regretful at a missed opportunity for the happiness she got to have with him.

I knew this was something important in my decision to try and start a relationship with Chris. The fact that I wasn't jealous was supposed to be a big clue. But it still didn't answer the question about which way I had to go. I was at a metaphorical fork in the road. It seemed that I didn't want the committed, romantic, relationship with him. But I wanted more than some platonic friendship. Which way do I go?

"Hi, Taryn." A female voice.

I turned around to see Stephanie standing next to my chair. "Hey, Steph. Where's Chris?"

"He's still sleeping." Steph's eyes kept darting around the room. She looked fidgety. "Have you seen Rei?"

"Uh, no. I haven't seen anyone. Did you check her bedroom?"

"Yeah. There's no one else upstairs at all."

"I see. There's no one down here either. Well, Derrick had mentioned something about buying some souvenirs today. And then Ben's not around either. Maybe they all went out?"

"I guess so."

Stephanie sat down at the end of the couch nearest to me, pensively staring at the floor. She nervously wrapped the red silk robe around her body, holding herself tightly. My female intuition screamed out at me that she had something on her mind.

"So why did you need Rei?"

"Just wanted someone to talk to. Girl-thing."

"Last I checked, I'm a girl. I'm someone to talk to."

Stephanie kind of blushed. "Yeah, I know. But I don't know you all that well. We only really became friends when I started dating Ben."

"Well, same with Rei. But you're okay with talking to her? I'm your friend now, and you can talk to me."

Stephanie screwed up her face, but then something switched in her head and she looked at me directly. "I wanted some advice about Ben. And you're with Chris now, so anything we talk about might end up getting to him. And then it might get to Ben. But Reiko's not attached, so it's not going to spill from her."

"I wouldn't share your secrets. Those are private between girl friends. Can't you trust me anymore?"

"But... In a relationship, you have to share everything. I don't hide anything from Ben. You know that. So I've noticed that the past few weeks you and Reiko don't talk to me that much about guys, or at least you don't talk about anything you don't want to end up getting to Ben."

I nodded my head in understanding. This was one consequence I hadn't really considered before. I had a choice between friendship and a relationship. To enter into a relationship with Chris might also mean losing a bit of my friendships with the girls. I would be devoting more time and energy to him and to us. Was I ready to do that?

Fact was, I wasn't jealous of seeing him and Stephanie together. I didn't want a commitment to him. And I didn't want to distance myself from my girl friends. "Steph, Chris and I are not together. We are not in a relationship. We're just having a good time with each other. But as of right now, we're just friends. So you can trust me."

She took a moment to collect her thoughts. "This weekend has just been so... incredible." Stephanie's eyes lit up, remembering everything we had been through. "I'm so in love with Ben, and we have such a great time together. But the sex! Oh my gosh. I've never felt so sexy before. I've never been this energized. And so incredibly well fucked! I... I don't ever want to go back!"

She paused, stirring in her seat, as if getting aroused once again just thinking about it. "I've always been the shy one, you know that. I was afraid to go after anything, to try anything new. I always admired Rei for being able to just hunt down whatever she wanted and TAKE it. So then Friday night rolls around, we get a little wasted, and then you guys are all daring me to kiss her. So I just said, 'What the hell' and tried it! And it was fantastic!"

Stephanie smiled. "I guess that was the other reason why I felt afraid to talk to you. I wanted to fuck Chris again so badly. But I was afraid you'd get jealous over it. But then you had Derrick in the shower, and I just said, 'what the hell' and got Chris to screw my brains out. And as great as Ben is, I don't know if I'm ever going to be happy unless I can screw other guys..." her voice trailed off, and her eyes pierced straight into mine. "...and other girls, from time to time. So I guess that's why I wanted to talk to Rei. I don't know how to talk to Ben and see if he's willing to have an open relationship."

I was nodding in agreement the whole time Stephanie was rambling. I was agreeing with almost everything she was saying. I liked my sex. And I didn't mind Chris screwing my friends. Maybe a friends-with-benefits kind of idea could work!

As if on cue, I heard the clunky footsteps of a man descending the staircase with all the grace of a drunken elephant. Chris, now fully dressed in everything but his snow jacket came down, smiling at me.

His eyes sparkled as he came up to us. He first looked at Stephanie, smiling and saying "Good morning!"

But then his eyes turned to me, and I could feel that his focus was entirely on me now. "Hi, you."

I smiled up at him. "Hi."

Stephanie politely excused herself, a giggle on her lips as she watched us making goo-goo eyes at each other. "I think I need another nap. Chris really wore me out."

***

I moved to the open spot on the couch that Stephanie vacated, while Taryn spun her chair around to face me. I could easily lose myself in her pretty face.

"We need to talk about... us," she began. "Tomorrow is the real world."

"Yes we do." She had such a big smile, it seemed that she had come to a decision in her head, and things were looking good. If it was bad for me, she wouldn't be smiling at me, right?

"Chris, you are the greatest friend I've ever had."

Uh, oh. I gulped, interrupting her for a moment. "I sense a 'but' coming up."

She laughed. "No, silly. No 'buts'. You are the greatest friend. AND I don't ever want to lose that. I think we both know that I'm not ready for a monogamous commitment. And I don't want to risk our friendship with a romantic relationship that might not work. So let's not endanger this friendship. No obligations to each other. Nothing to get jealous or spited over." Now her smile turned into a predatory grin. "AND, being such good friends, we might be able to still have some FUN together; we can have little vacations like this, release some tension. You're such a great lover. And hey, maybe we can get Rei and Steph together for some playtime, too!"

She seemed so very happy with this solution: Friends with benefits. This seemed so perfect. Taryn was offering me everything a guy could possibly want. Sex without the commitment. She was gorgeous, and I would love the future opportunities to fuck her until she screamed for mercy.

There was just one problem. As great as the other girls were, it was Taryn that I really wanted. I'd fallen in love with her. I wanted the sex, true. But I wanted so much more. I wanted to be with her in the quiet, non-sexual moments. I wanted to take her out on dates. I wanted to cuddle platonically. I wanted to be her confidant. And if I couldn't have all the rest of that, I didn't want to settle for just the sex.

She didn't want a relationship with me. I was crushed. And I was crying. I hadn't cried in years. Even when I'd broken up with past girlfriends, I'd just never been close enough emotionally to be hurt. But this was Taryn. My perfect Taryn. My dream girl, and my friend. And this hurt like hell.

Taryn looked at me very strangely, as if trying to figure out what the heck was going through my mind. I stared at her through bleary eyes. "Taryn, I love you. And I don't know if I can be around you, loving you, and knowing that you don't love me back."

I stood up, then I turned and started towards the stairs. She reached out to grab my hand, but I just kept on turning and walked away. "Just leave me alone."

***

Chris started coming back down the stairs, zipping up his snow jacket. I was waiting at the bottom of the last step. "Where are you going?"

"I need to take a walk." He crossed the living room and went out onto the patio and down into the snow. There was a path that ran to the lake, and he started down it as I numbly watched his back fade away into the snowfall. It was coming down a little harder now, and I felt the chill biting through my robe, realizing only now that I'd followed him out onto the patio.

I reached my hand out to him, but he was gone. And then it hit me. I'd had the wrong choices in my head. I had been asking myself whether I wanted friendship or a relationship.

But there was another question I hadn't answered yet: What if we'd already gone too far? It never occurred to me that if I turned him down, we might never be able to go back to our friendship.

And now I faced the prospect of losing Chris even as a friend. And it was in that moment that I realized Chris wasn't only a friend. Maybe Chris was never only a friend. Since we were in high school, he was the confidant I could confess my deepest secrets to. Whenever I felt at my lowest, Chris had always been there to pull me up. In my darkest hours, he would always bring me back.

Oh, this stupid, cruel universe. Only now, when I truly faced losing him did I realize how much I loved him. Now I understood what he meant when he said he cared FOR me. How much he'd hate his life if I wasn't around. How he wanted to be there to rescue me even if I didn't need rescuing.

I loved Chris. And I was going to hate my life if he wasn't around.

I stepped off the patio, the snow freezing cold against my bare feet. Sputtering, I stepped back up to the comparative warmth of the patio. I paced side to side across it, straining my eyes in a desperate hope to see which way he went. But the blankets of white snow were all that greeted me.

I spun around and turned inside, charging up to the room I'd shared with the man I loved. Stephanie was inside already.

She had my clothes lined out for me. Underwear, thermals, my snow gear. "I didn't mean to eavesdrop on your conversation, but I heard everything. Chris is a fantastic lover, and I would jump at the chance to screw him again. But he loves you and belongs to YOU. Go get him."

I just nodded and whipped my robe off, tossing it atop a chair in the corner. The towel dropped to the floor, leaving me naked as I paced over to my clothes.

Stephanie couldn't help herself, she was eyeballing my naked form, the lust burning in her eyes.

I just grinned. "Maybe when I get back. I'm sure Chris won't mind, as long as he gets to watch."

I got dressed in record time and flew down the stairs, out across the patio and onto the pathway. I ran as fast as I could, the path taking me on a straight line to the lake. But right before the beach, the path dead-ended and split 90 degrees to the left and right. I was at a fork in the road, a real one this time. One way leads to Chris and a chance to get him back. The other way leads to an empty heart. Which way to go?

Time to take a leap of faith. Maybe Chris and I were meant to be. I picked a direction, and took off at a dead run.

***

That was a royally stupid thing to do.

I sat on a fallen tree log. It was half covered in snow, but it made a decent chair as I stared out across the lake. Even in this light snowfall, the lake was a pure, clear reflection of the sky. The waves rhythmically brushing up against the shoreline became a peaceful sound to quiet my nerves.

Once I'd left the house, I marched and marched until I was able to bleed off some emotional energy. Now I berated myself for reacting the way I did. I was a man. I shouldn't have been crying. And what kind of man runs away from a conflict?

I should have stayed there and talked to her.

I heard the soft thumping of footsteps approaching behind me. Maybe Taryn came after me. I allowed myself a light smile at the thought of seeing her face. But then my mind raced. What was I going to say to her? I needed more time to collect my thoughts.

I turned around, and Ben came around the bend in the path, hands furrowed in his jacket. When he saw me, he walked straight over to me and joined me on the log. Just two guys alone in the woods. "Hey C, didn't expect to see you here."

"Me neither. I was kind of hoping you were Taryn."

"Sorry to disappoint. Just wanted to go for a jog. I need to work out a lot more if I'm ever going to get a body like yours."

"Like mine? This is the result of microwave pizzas and ramen."

"I hate you. You and your freakish metabolism."

"So why'd you really come out here?"

"I had to think. You?"

"Same as you. Just needed to think. Let me guess, girl problems?"

"Always. You?"

"Always. Taryn just wants to be friends." Ben, of course, had no clue what I was talking about.

"I'm afraid Stephanie is going to leave me."

"What?!?" I turned to look at him, my problems with Taryn momentarily put aside. "Are you crazy? That girl is so in love with you."

Ben looked up, staring at nothing across the lake. "That's not the problem. She's more in love with me than ever. But that's not always enough. Steph's been happier than I've ever seen her this weekend. She's coming out of her quiet shell."

"I noticed. When you first started dancing around each other, Derrick and I were betting on how long it would take for you two to actually ADMIT that you liked each other. You both were so shy, we were betting in terms of months."

"Who won?"

"I did." I smiled. "He bet it would take over six months, I bet under. You actually asked her out after four months of dancing around the issue."

"And she never would have admitted it if I didn't first. That's what I mean, now she seems almost outgoing. The last few days, she just sees what she wants and then she goes after it. It's the sex. And I see the way she looks at you and Derrick. You both are Greek gods next to me."

"Wait, you're thinking she's going to leave you because of sex? Dude, you've got the biggest monster of the three of us, and I can HEAR how much the girls love it."

Ben stewed on that for awhile. "Then why does she want you guys?"

"Something different. Different flavor. I dunno. Guys want different girls all the time. Why can't a girl want a little variety?" That last thought bounced around in my head. "But even if she wants some new fucking on the side, that doesn't mean that she doesn't love you."

"Argh, relationships are so complicated. This was a lot easier when we were just casual friends."

An idea popped into my head. "Do you mind being able to bang Taryn and Rei?"

"Of course not."

"Does it bother you that she might want to screw other guys."

He hitched for a moment. "I guess not. I know she loves me, and only me. And that's what matters. The rest is just sex for the pleasure of it, kinda like swinging."

"Ben, maybe she just wants a more open sexual relationship. Maybe she really loves you, she loves being with you. She just doesn't want to be obligated to be monogamous. And maybe you should just talk to her before you jump to any conclusions or get all stressed out thinking she's leaving you."