Speed of the Sound of Loneliness Ch. 03bycoaster2©
Chapter 03: Something lost and something found ...Jack's new life.
The Final Chapter?
I've been in a state of confusion before, several times in the last few months in fact. But I couldn't remember when it was as disconcerting as this moment. I was with my wife of over thirty years and we had decided to sleep together for the first time in more than six months and we would probably have sex and ... I didn't have a clue what to do. She had gone to the bedroom and I had followed her like a puppy dog waiting for its next command. I sat on the edge of the bed while Molly had moved to the bathroom. I started to take off my clothes and hang them up in the closet like I used to. I stripped down to my jockey shorts and sat back on the edge of the bed again.
I looked around and everything seemed to be just like it was when I left. I had a minor inspiration and turned on the small bedside lamp on her night table and got up and turned out the ceiling light. At least it was a little more intimate this way. What now? Pull down the coverlet and slide under the covers? I suppose that was going to happen anyway, so I stood up and pulled the quilted bedspread down and folded it over the bottom rail of the bed the way Molly used to always do it. I was about to pull down the covers when I heard the bathroom door open and Molly came into the bedroom.
Things always change and we certainly had. So why was I surprised when she came in wearing a very sexy, silky, shiny dark green nightgown that I had never seen before? I guess I didn't expect to see her wearing something alluring like this. It was very low cut and very slinky and it got my immediate attention; and I do mean immediate. Molly was showing me that she was still a very good looking woman and I was going to want her in this bed very soon. She smiled as she seemed to flow into the room and saw the one small lamp.
"Did you want to brush your teeth or anything first, Jack. There's a new toothbrush in the drawer you can use." she said coyly.
I didn't need to be hit over the head. Go fix your breath and take a leak and at least wash your hands you slob, I said to myself.
"Yes ... thanks ... I guess I wasn't expecting ... this." I offered lamely. I got out of bed and headed for the bathroom and noticed the light was still on. Very subtle Molly, I laughed under my breath. I only took me a couple of minutes to clean myself up and head back to the bedroom. I was now aware of just how anxious I was. It was as if it was going to be our first time and I was just that nervous and uncertain. I flicked the light off in the bathroom and headed to bedroom.
Molly was lying in bed under the covers and it took me a second to figure out that she had taken the nightgown off and she was likely naked. I slipped back under the covers and reached for her.
"Do you want me to turn the light out, Jack?" she asked softly.
I thought for a moment I had misunderstood her. We never had sex with the light on. It was one of those small-time fantasies of mine.
"No, let's leave it on; I want to be able to see you ... to watch you." I said in as confident a low voice as I could muster.
"Me too." she smiled.
I was completely unprepared for what happened next. To start with, Molly took charge. Her hands were roaming all over my body and she quickly discovered and removed my under shorts. This was a new, aggressive Molly and I responded by running my hands over her new and improved body as well. She was, as I had guessed, completely naked and it was a long time since I'd run my fingers over a desirable woman's body. I began to move down toward her breasts and she encouraged me by pushing them up toward my mouth with her hands. It wasn't long before I was kissing and licking and teasing the nipples and Molly was responding.
In the meantime, Molly wasn't wasting any time. She had reached down for my now fully erect cock and enclosing it in her hand, began to stroke it. I was so revved up that I knew if I didn't get a grip soon, it would be over before it started. I said so to Molly and she released me and moved her hands to my head and continued to push me downward. There wasn't any doubt about what she wanted then, but I was again surprised since she was never very fond of oral sex. She had apparently changed her mind.
As I began to use my tongue and lips to excite her, she began to talk to me. It was another radical change in her behavior. Normally, she was silent when we had sex, but that was then and this was now.
"More Jack. Please! Push your tongue in and give me more please."
I did the best I could to give her what she wanted and the sound of her moans and her hands on my head, pressing me further into her now very moist sex was the message that she was getting what she wanted. I moved my tongue up to her clitoris and began to tease it and I got an immediate positive response.
"Oh yes. That's it. Oh ... Yesssss!" she moaned quietly.
I played with her sexy centre for what seem like several minutes before she wanted me to enter her.
"Now Jack. I'm ready now." she whispered.
Our foreplay had greatly helped me get myself under control and I was ready too. I just hoped that I wouldn't disappoint her. This was a very different and very alive Molly and I wanted her to be rewarded for this wonderful change. I moved up slowly, first kissing my way up her slightly rounded abdomen and briefly tickled her navel with my tongue. I continued my way up pausing only briefly at her lovely breasts and then kissed her mouth gently, without tongue.
"Guide me in, Molly. Tell me what you want." I said very quietly.
She grasped my fully erect member and brought it to the entrance of her vagina and then released me; putting her hands on my butt cheeks and pulling me into her. It was an easy passage and I heard her sigh as I filled her tight cavity and slowly began to stroke; in and out and in again; slowly at first and then gradually picking up the tempo as she responded. I was using the pressure of her hands to tell me what she wanted. Her mouth was making noises, but I couldn't understand them and anyway it didn't matter. She was making it obvious what she wanted and I was fully prepared to give it to her to the best of my ability.
They say that when you are on a lucky roll, you should never question it; just go with it. That's what I did with Molly on that lovely Christmas night. I quit thinking and just moved in the rhythm she was seeking and we talked to each other without using words. I knew what she wanted and how she was feeling and she knew I was aware of her. It was as natural as if we'd done this a thousand times over and yet, for us, it was a first. We had been having sex for many years, but we hadn't been making love. I think we both came to the realization at the same time that this was very, very different.
Where the hell was all this for so many years before? Had I forgotten that it was once like this or was it never like this? I remember we had sex now and then, but I don't remember it being so intense. I don't remember it being exciting. I don't remember our being so engaged in it. I certainly don't remember feeling this good about it afterward. I lay on my back in the aftermath and Molly was lying almost on top of me with her arm across my chest and her head tucked onto my shoulder. We were both breathing heavily from the exertion and I was surprised at my ability to stay with Molly. She had been the leader and I was the follower and I tried manfully not to disappoint her. I had the feeling that I had succeeded.
We drifted off to sleep with the small lamp still on and holding each other. Sometime in the night, I awoke and the light was off. I reached for Molly and she was right there, still naked and sleeping peacefully. I rolled onto my back, now almost wide awake and tried to take stock of this strange turn of events. I had almost forgotten the comfort of having another person in my bed and the scent and touch of a woman. Molly never slept nude and she could easily have put on her nightdress when she woke and turned off the light, but she didn't. I wondered about that. We were two very different people and I was curious about the changes in my wife. I thought they were all positive but I was at a loss to understand how they came about. Was it my expulsion that gave her the freedom to be someone else or was it something entirely different. I knew now that I wanted to know the answer to that question.
I must have lain awake for an hour before I slipped back into sleep. I was thinking about all the changes that had taken place for both Molly and I and I was convinced they were all for the better. I wondered idly if she might have had a lover in the months that I had been gone, but it seemed unlikely. Something else had produced this change in her and when I discovered what it was, I was going to reinforce it with a good dose of more of the same.
I awoke Tuesday morning with a wonderfully tantalizing sensation in my groin. I took a few seconds to recognize the delicate touch of Molly's fingertips on my semi-rigid cock. It wasn't unusual for me to awaken with an erection, but not this way; not at all. I rolled toward her and I could see her looking at me with a smile on her face.
"Good morning. Did you sleep well?" she asked.
"Very well! Good morning to you too. To what do I owe the pleasure of this delightful way to awaken?" I asked.
"You were a very good lover last night. I thought you should be rewarded for that." she grinned.
"I had a lot of help from you. You took charge. You knew what you wanted. You and I are going to have to talk about all these changes; you owe me that." I said without threatening the mood.
"We'll see. A girl's got to have some secrets you know." was her soft retort.
"I think you've fallen into some naughty company, Molly. That's the part I want to hear about."
She didn't answer but continued to fondle my now completely rigid member. She was showing a sly grin as she pushed me over on my back and began to mount me. I felt her hand reach back and grasp me and push my cock into her waiting vagina. She was very ready and she impaled herself in one, continuous slow push. I heard her grunt and saw her eyes close as she began to ride me. She was on her knees, facing me with her legs tucked under her and she was upright with her hands only lightly touching my chest. She appeared to be lost in her own world and I wasn't about to interrupt her as she rolled down whatever path she was on. It was a wonderfully sensuous journey and I was just happy to be part of it.
My hands began to fondle her breasts, alternately kneading them and gently pinching her nipples between my thumb and forefinger. Molly's hands moved down to her mons and she began to use her fingers on her clit and I watched her head lolling back and forth; her eyes still closed. I heard the occasional moan and other unintelligible vocalizations from her as she rode me with increasing forcefulness. She was on her way to her destination and I was right there with her. It was another of those amazing new experiences that we had found last night. I was smiling I'm sure as I watched her extract every ounce of pleasure from this joining.
Finally, she broke her rhythm and began a frantic rush to the finish and I found myself following her every step of the way. She was vocalizing again, but it wasn't words; it was grunts and whooshes and cries and sharp intakes and exhales and she pushed herself to her climax. I'm not sure if she knew I was there, but it was too fascinating to be a part of to interrupt or try and influence the outcome. I was just along the ride; but god, what a ride!
Molly just seemed to disintegrate then. Her arms collapsed, her body almost froze and then sagged down slowly onto my chest. There was no "Oh god, I'm cumming!" outburst; only the obvious exhaustion of all that energy and the satisfaction of whatever ending it brought. I didn't follow her and I really didn't care. It was such a dynamic experience to see her completely let go and wring every last ounce of ecstasy out of the moment. I was holding her to me as she lay gasping for breath and I stroked her lovely, smooth skin, lightly gripping her butt cheeks.
I don't know how long she lay on my chest, but it was a few minutes. I became conscious of the need to pee and I tried very carefully to work my way out from underneath her without disturbing her. I didn't succeed.
"I'm sorry, Molly." I apologized. "I need to pee."
She giggled and just lay on her side watching me. I got up and padded to the bathroom, closing the door behind me. After relieving myself, I looked in the mirror and realized I needed a shave and would undoubtedly benefit from a shower. I went back to the bedroom; sensing Molly would probably need to use the bathroom herself. She was still lying on her side, facing toward me with her eyes open and a foolish look on her face. I sat on the bed beside her and stroked her shoulder and back with my hand.
"Your turn, if you like." I said simply.
"Hmmm. In a minute. I'm still floating around somewhere in outer space." she said in a partly muffled voice. She was talking in the mattress in part.
I laughed and leaned down and kissed her cheek.
"If you've got a razor to spare, I can clean myself up enough to take you out to breakfast." I offered.
"Hmmm. Sounds nice. Want to shower together?" she asked, her voice still muffled as she continued to speak into the mattress.
"That would be very responsible." I grinned.
"What's responsible got to do with it?" she snorted.
I looked over at her clock radio and realized it was just after eight in the morning. We had gone to bed early last night, but we hadn't gone to sleep early.
"I have to work today." Molly said sleepily. "Ten 'till two. It's a short day ... mostly returns and exchanges probably."
"I'll drop you off after breakfast and pick you up at two ... OK?" I said positively.
"Uh huh. What are you going to do today?"
"I've got a couple of things I want to do." I answered cryptically.
Molly finally rose and headed for the bathroom. I lay back on the bed and waited for my turn. There were a couple of things I needed to know. Should I plan on moving back in? If so, I needed to get my clothes and other grooming and personal items. It wouldn't take long. I had something I knew I wanted to do and it involved my, or our, future.
She was in there for a few minutes before I heard the door open and she peered around the doorway.
"Are you coming, Jack?"
I didn't need a second invitation and headed for the door. The shower was running and Molly was already inside the tub enclosure when I stepped in. Molly was in a playful mood and we soaped and fondled each other as we enjoyed the warm water and close quarters. We finally rinsed off and stepped out; drying each other with large bath towels. I was admiring her new body and I said so to her. She was quick to reply.
"Looks who's talking. You look like you're ready for a magazine modeling career. Very sexy!" she finished with a slinky voice.
I stayed in the bathroom to shave and when I came out, Molly was dressed and looking very nice.
"I like your choice in clothes. I mean ... your new clothes." I said.
"Thanks. The girls convinced me to get some new things and now I'm glad I did. I wasn't so sure at first."
"Your girlfriends gave you good advice. You look much younger and very desirable." I leered.
"Well, I had to do something if I was going to attract the attention of some sexy guy, didn't I?" she smirked.
I finished dressing and we headed for the kitchen. I wondered for a minute which sexy guy she wanted to attract, but then the thought left me. For whatever reason, I didn't feel threatened; but I was definitely mystified by the changes in my wife. I hoped I would enjoy unscrambling this curious puzzle.
I didn't have my pills with me, so I made a note to take them after I had dropped Molly off at work and I went back to my dreary apartment. It was getting more oppressive every day as I contemplated moving to something much more upscale. But everything had changed again in the last 24 hours and now I had another objective. I needed to know what Molly wanted or expected. Based on the events of last night and this morning, we were destined to get back together again, but I didn't want to take anything for granted and I decided we could talk about it at breakfast.
"Where would you like to go for breakfast?" I asked innocently.
"Anywhere but Bruno's." she answered promptly.
I almost blurted out something like 'why not Bruno's?' when the light went on and I learned something important about her. Bruno' was a bad memory for her and she wanted to erase it. I had been abrupt and mean and angry and she had been confused and surprised and contrite and I left her without giving her much hope for us. It must have hurt her a great deal while I almost had forgotten the incident.
"How about The Paradise?" I suggested.
"Great. But it's expensive, Jack." she said in a note of concern.
"Don't worry about it, Molly. You're worth it." I said simply. She moved beside me and squeezed my arm while looking at me with a smile. She liked that answer.
I opened the passenger door of the Camry for her and she slipped into the nearly unused leather seat. I don't remember the last time I'd opened a door for her, but it seemed the natural and right thing for me to do. It was another part of the new me. I was thinking of someone beside myself for a change.
"Oh Jack, this is really nice. It smells so new and clean." she enthused. Molly may not have known much about cars, but she knew a nice ride when she was in one. I backed out of the driveway and headed off toward town and the Paradise.
"What did you do with your old car?" she asked, obviously curious.
"It's sitting at my apartment. I was thinking about selling it, but I wouldn't get much for it. I thought of something else I could do with it though."
"Why don't you get your driver's license again? I'd give you my car. You'd have transportation instead of being dependent on others." I suggested.
"I don't know Jack. I haven't driven in a long time and with the insurance and everything, I'm not sure I can afford it." she said seriously.
"OK ... let's just leave it for now. There's no rush to decide. We have other things to talk about." I said with a smile.
I pulled into the restaurant parking lot and joined only a handful of cars. Business wasn't too brisk and I wasn't unhappy. In all likelihood I could find a booth that was fairly private and I could have my conversation with Molly. My guess was correct and we walked to the far end of the front row of booths and sat together in a four person cove.
The waitress was there almost before we got settled and passed us the menus, poured two coffees and told us she'd be back when we were ready to order. It didn't take us long to decide and we gave her our orders and relaxed for a moment over our first coffee.
"Molly ... after last night ... and this morning I guess ... what do you want?" I asked as kindly as I could.
"I want you back, Jack." she answered simply and directly. "I made a bad mistake and I want to make it right. I want you back in our house and in my life. We aren't the same. You've already told me that. I like who we are now. I really like who you are. I want us to be husband and wife again." her voice trailed off.
"Molly ... you didn't make a mistake. It's more complicated than that. But you didn't make a mistake. None of this past day would have happened if you hadn't done what you did. That took a lot of courage. I'm sure it wasn't easy for you but you did it. I don't want you beating yourself up over that day. I think we should be celebrating it. I think it's going to become our second anniversary." I said positively and with a forceful tone.