Stockholm Syndrome Ch. 14-17

I don't know who fell asleep first, him or me.

---------------

The next day was not going well for me. I'd woken up in intense pain all over, which was alarming because I'd been on a continuous morphine drip, which no longer made me ill or sleep all day. Breathing was difficult as well, and I was barely able to say more than three words in one breath.

Alex left briefly because he said there was something he wanted to get for me, though he gave me no clue what it was. While he was gone I went over and over how I was going to say goodbye to him. Nothing ever sounded right. He admitted he had thick skin. He wasn't fooling anybody.

He came back carrying a back pack. I took the mask off and asked, "What ... in the world ... is that?"

"You'll see," he said, grinning sheepishly. He seemed more upbeat, which I was greatly happy about. He pulled the curtain shut so I couldn't see what he was doing. "I'm still here. I'm setting something up."

He was behind the curtain for ten minutes, grunting and cursing quietly. It felt like an hour before he pulled the curtain back, and he didn't look happy. "Damn, this is the reason I'm not an electrician."

"Huh?" Then I saw a small box on the heater beside the TV; it was a DVD player. Then I got it. I laughed but ended up in a bad coughing fit.

He rushed over to me, but I just waved him off. "Wat'r," I spat. He poured some water in the plastic cup, put in a straw and held it while I sipped. "Better," I said.

He glared at me for a second before he put the cup on the table by the bed. "First of all, I know it's difficult for you to talk, so I brought my laptop so you can yap away."

I smiled. "Good idea."

"I thought it was, since you won't stop talking." He gave me a sly grin.

"I'd hit ... you but ... it won't bruise."

He laughed. "Scootch over."

I looked at him confused until I realized he wanted to lie next to me. Because of my breathing I had to lie flat, but he put his arm under my neck enough so that I had a good view of the TV. I cuddled up to him and put my head on his shoulder.

He kissed me on the top of my head and ran his hand over my shoulder. "Carrie, I'm glad you kissed me when you did. I thought ... I didn't know if you were pushing me away or ..."

"Oh, hon. I didn't ... I wasn't at ... all. I'm sorry if ..."

"Can I kiss ya when I wanna?"

"Anytime you ... want."

"Okay, enough talking for you. Besides, no talking during the show." He kissed my nose before putting the oxygen mask over my nose and mouth.

Looking deeply into my eyes, he said, "I hope you like this. I had a brain storm watching you sleep this morning. It took me forever to find it." I looked at him curiously, grinning. He pulled something out of his pocket. "Second thing – Let's get this party started!"

He aimed the remote at the TV, hit a button, and the movie started playing. The screen flashed with a swirling brown river then the movie title popped up.

My mouth hung open, and I spurted out, "Willie Won ... ka and the —"

"Yes, dear. Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory," he finished, his face tense, but I wasn't sure if it was because I spoke or he was anxious about my reaction.

I mouthed, 'Thank you,' and he and instantly relaxed.

"I did good?" I nodded, smiling. "Now hush, will you?!" he fussed, but pecked my cheek.

---------------

When I woke up later, there was a steady rhythm from a machine, again beside the bed, but it was different than the oxygen machine. I soon realized I was breathing the same as the machine.

I was weak, extremely weak. My chest felt like there was a ton of bricks on my chest. Forcing my eyes open, I saw the top of Alex's head bent over the bed railing, and he was fast asleep. I tried to swallow to talk, but there was something down my throat.

Okay, so this is it. For the first time since the doctor told me I was dying, I was scared.

I needed to find out what had happened. It took all I had to raise my hand, but I finally did and put it on the top of his head. Alex immediately raised his head, a look of terror in his eyes. Oh, yeah. That said it all.

"Carrie. Oh, Carrie," he whimpered, leaning forward, rubbing his nose against mine, lingering, like our kisses.

I tried to talk again, but he then buried his face in my shoulder and cried. And for the first time, so did I. Tears streamed down the side of my face out of panic and fear. We both cried longer than I expected.

When he finally calmed down, he forced himself back, but he took several seconds before he would look at me. He lovingly wiped my face dry then he wiped his own. He took a really heavy, deep breath, as if he were trying to find the right words.

"Care, sweetheart, your lungs collapsed last night," he croaked. "You're on a ventilator. It's helping you breathe. They've taken you off dialysis."

He completely broke down, hiding his face from me, but I could still see him. . "I ... I don't want you to go." He closed his eyes, forcing more wet tears to fall.

My heart shattered. I lifted my forearms from the elbows and wiggled my fingers. He didn't see my hands, but he must have felt the movement.

"What? What is it?" I kept wiggling my fingers until he saw them. "What?" I moved single fingers one at a time slowly until his eyes lit up. "Laptop. You want the laptop?"

I nodded. He rushed off to the chair, picked it up, lifted the monitor and stood by the bed. "It'll just take a second to boot up. Hang in there." He shook his head, like he'd just said the stupidest thing in the world. To me, it wasn't.

"Oh," he suddenly said. He put the laptop on the table by the bed and put some blankets under my elbows so my hands were close to my stomach. He picked up the laptop. "I'm going to have to put this on your stomach. Will that hurt you?" I shook my head. "Okay."

He did so, and I reached for the keys, feeling for the little bump to indicate the 'j' and 'f.' I closed my eyes, not needing to see the keys. He positioned himself so he could see the monitor.

im scared. dont leave

He read it then looked at me. "I won't, baby. I won't."

could have fallen in love with you

"I think I was already falling for you."

too bad i wasnt younger. would ave given you qw kids

"QW? What?"

twelve kids

He chortled. "And we would have had a fucking good time doing it." He grinned, though it was a sad grin.

I laughed, but it just raised my chest, almost making the laptop slip off.

im so glad i met you alex

He kissed my cheek then whispered in my ear, "So am I." He leaned back up when he heard me typing again.

jessica will give you something. please do it

"Anything, anything. I'm going to miss you." His voice cracked.

It took me a second to type, me too. He only tilted his head to read it.

alex ill miss you too. i forgive you

"Oh, Carrie," he groaned and broke down again, burying his face in my neck.

I could only let him cry. I had to let him get it out of his system, to let the words sink in that I did not blame him. And maybe, just maybe, he would finally accept that fact.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

THIRD PERSON ...

'"I want to give this to you," he says as he hands me an envelope, the same type that airline tickets are held in. I don't take the envelope right away but just stare at him. "Look, we're short on time so please take it. It's an open-ended round-trip ticket back here to Stockholm so we can spend ... so I can show you what you missed since—"

"I can't, Alex. I told you I can't." ...

"I know what you told me, but I'm just as stubborn as you are, Carrie. After you got on the plane I bought this ticket, but I couldn't find the balls to give it to you, don't ask me why. I was almost to my car and felt like I couldn't breathe so I raced back here hoping ..."'

Carrie Boyce woke from her dream as she lay in ICU in the hospital in Stockholm. She was pleasantly numb from the morphine, and so extremely tired. No longer frightened of the unknown, she had resolved herself to her fate.

Something shook beside her body, and she turned her head slightly to see Alexander Skarsgard lying next to her. She slowly lifted her hand to the back of his head.

He bolted awake and looked over her face, his eyes swollen and red. "Carrie." She couldn't smile, though she wanted to. "Do you want the laptop?" His voice was so dry.

She nodded her head. He set the laptop on her chest, somehow instinctively knowing she was much weaker than she was before. She tried to lift her arms, but he was right: she no longer had any strength at all. He held her arm so her hand lay on the keyboard.

tird

"Tired?" he asked, looking at her lovingly. "I know, sweetie. I know."

redyy

"No, no," he cried out. "Not yet."

yes hold me

"I'm not ... don't want to let you go."

hold me kis me

His body shook before he put his hand on her cheek, leaned in and gave her a kiss; she was able to squeeze his forearm. When he pulled back tears filled his eyes, as did hers. He put his head in his hand and looked over her face, gently caressing her cheek. Whispering softly in her ear, her breathing became more labored and shallow with each passing minute. All he could do was hold her.

Half an hour later, still looking into each other's eyes, her hand slipped from his forearm and fell to the mattress.

She fought for a breath and looked into his eyes one last time. The light in her eyes faded, and she breathed her last.

"Carrie!" Alex screamed. "No, no, no!"

He threw his head on her chest and cried harder than he'd ever cried in his life.

---------------

The tall, blonde Swede climbed up the green knoll of the hill with careful, gingerly steps. He carried the backpack over his shoulder, his hands stuffed in his pockets, his shoulders scrunched, his head down.

He reached the summit of his sunset hill, the place he found so peaceful and beautiful when the sun set over the horizon. But that night, just before dusk, it would be forever changed.

He'd put off coming here for three weeks because he couldn't do it. There were a few times that he'd made it to his teenage getaway, but he never got out of the car.

That night was the fourth week anniversary that he'd met her, and he felt it was appropriate, and it was time that he fulfilled her final request.

He pulled the items from the back pack, spread out the blanket, zipped up his jacket from the cold air and grabbed the medicine bottle. He took several steps from the blanket, took a deep breath, untwisted the bottle, and scattered Carrie's ashes onto the grass. Words escaped him as he crumbled on his knees, buried his face in his hands and wept.

Alex didn't know what was in the medicine bottle that Jessica Peachtree had given him several days after Carrie was cremated, though he thought he had a pretty good idea. She also gave him a letter, sealed in an envelope, telling him not to open it until he was on sunset hill.

Finally gathering his senses, he wiped his eyes and face and went back to the blanket, collapsing onto it. Taking several deep breaths, he took the letter, broke the seal and pulled it out.

It was in neat handwriting, surprised Carrie could have written in her condition. He closed his eyes tightly before he read the letter.

'My dearest Alex (and my favorite vampire),

If you are reading this, then I am with my family and you are on your sunset hill. We finally made it, huh?

I want to thank you for your thoughtfulness, kindness, generosity and your love, for however little time we had together.

And remember, I forgive you, hon. I'll see you when you get here.

With all my love, Carrie

PS - Take care of Lucky for me."

---------------

That night, Alex had just fallen to sleep after an exhaustive night. Lucky the teddy bear was tucked under his arm.

She walked into the room floating on air and sat down lightly on the bed beside him to watch him sleep for several minutes.

"Thank you, Alex," she said. Bending over, she kissed his soft lips.

He sat straight up in bed, his fingers to his lips. The spirit evaporated from the sudden rush of air.

"Carrie?" he asked to an empty room. He heard the words that were spoken, and he knew the voice. 'Thank you, Alex.' Is that what he heard? It couldn't have been. But he knew. He knew what she meant.

He fell back heavily on the bed, wiping his lips. "You're welcome. Good night, my sweet, little angel," he whispered before he fell back into a deep, peaceful sleep.

---------------

Carrie was finally free to join her family in Heaven.

---------------

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I hope y'all enjoyed reading this!!!