Superf***er Vol. 08

I gulped. I was being summoned... because I was an expert at anal sex? This was beyond strange. "Well... I am happy to try to help, Your Highness, but I have only done this once or twice, and of course I have only experienced it from the male point of view."

"We realize that," she said patiently, "but you HAVE done this before, and we hope you can help us learn from your experience."

"Well... for one thing, you can't just go about doing it cold. The recipient must be aroused."

The Princess nodded her head towards her two maids. The one that was standing put down her dildo, crawled between the other's legs, and while the other remained on all fours she began to lick her genital area.

We slowly walked closer to the pair. The Princess reached to an end table, picked up what appeared to a vibrator, and handed it to the maid doing the licking. She added that stimulation to her work, and it seemed like the maid on all fours was starting to get turned on—well, as much as you can expect for someone that is just doing their job and that has an audience.

"All right, keep doing that," I instructed. Now, do you have some lubricant? The Princess picked up a tube from the side table (because our females tend to not be very receptive, personal lubricants are common). I picked up the dildo, saying "OK, now we have to slather this thing so it's slippery like a greased pig." That's not exactly what I said, but it's the English equivalent.

I took two fingers and started to lube up the dildo, but I could see where maybe this wasn't going to work. For one thing, you have to realize that this dildo was made to resemble penises on my planet--which means it was super-sized compared to anything you might have ever seen. But there was a more serious problem. "Ooh... this it too rigid," I explained. "A real penis gives--it can squeeze to fit into a tight sphincter. This thing is too hard--I don't know if a sphincter can stretch far enough to let this past."

"So what do you suggest?" the Princess asked suspiciously.

"Well, give it a try," I said, "but I think you're going to have to get either a softer toy or a real man to really try this. Maybe one of your butlers will volunteer."

"Let's try," the Princess said, ignoring the rest.

"OK." The one maid kept working on getting the one on her hands and knees excited; I came around one side of her ass, the Princess stood on the other. I pressed against her sphincter with one finger, pressing it in.

"Eww..." said the Princess.

"If a guy's gonna stick his dick in there," I said, "he can't be afraid of a finger, you know? I wouldn't recommend doing this if you're overdue for a #2, though." She fought her repulsion and continued to watch as I pressed two fingers into the maid's ass. Then I took the dildo and tried to press it gently against the cornhole. I could see her tense up as she felt the attempted intrusion.

"Whoa there..." I said, pulling it away. "Tensing up is your biggest enemy. You've got to remain as relaxed as possible. If you tense up your butt will tighten and you'll never get it in." I addressed the girl whose ass was the experimental subject. "Can you do that? I won't force it in; I'll only push it in if it's able to go. So try to relax?" The girl turned her head towards me for the first time and nodded. I could see she was frightened, though. "Here, maybe this will help," I suggested. I reached forward, pulled down the cup of her dress, and stroked her nipple between my thumb and forefinger, ensuring that the pleasurable currents of electricity that run between them excited the nipple. Women on my planet expect this, of course, but it still feels good. I could see her relax as her nipples were pleasured. "There, that's better." I slowly tweaked the tender nipple, making little circles with in my fingers. At the same time, I tried to press the dildo in again. She stayed relaxed this time, but my prediction seemed to be coming true--the dildo was just too thick and unyielding to make it past.

I kept pressing until it became uncomfortable, at which point she tensed up all at once. "It's no good," I said, "this thing is too rigid. Go get one of the butlers or something..."

"You do it," the Princess interrupted.

"Huh?"

"You do it," she repeated, looking up at me this time. "You've done this before, you know how it's supposed to work."

"Look, I'm a prisoner of the state... the last thing I need is for there to be new charges that I tricked and coerced a servant into deviant sex acts."

"There won't be any additional charges... I'm asking you to do this."

"That's what you say now. And how am I to know that you won't change your mind. How do I know that this isn't all a set-up on the part of the Monarchies to guarantee that I'm found guilty?" That might sound paranoid, but maybe it gives you a sense as to the uneasiness and distrust that divides the supposedly united government of the planet.

The Princess met my gaze, thinking for a moment. Then she said "do you still want a Gravitron?"

"YES!" I said emphatically.

"My private ship has one. Most expensive ships do, for gravity-surfing. If you can do this, you can take it. Go back to Earth, save it from that comet."

I opened my mouth and closed it again. That was the one thing that MIGHT make me take on the risk. Heck, there was a good chance that I'd be executed anyway. On the other hand, there had been no indication on my IMS yet of any collisions in the vicinity of Earth--what good would it do to have a ship and no way to warp there? But I had told Billy to be sure to create a collision; I had to trust that they would succeed. It would be a redirection, so there wouldn't be much advance notice before the wormhole opened. It was my only chance to save Earth.

"If I go I'll be a fugitive," I said thinking aloud. "I'd never be able to return. That's if I could get clear without being shot out of the sky for stealing your ship."

"I can program it to add you as a user," she replied, "so it won't register you as being unauthorized. As for the fugitive, well, I'll tell them that I pardoned you. That ought to set off a lively debate--we've never had to deal with the question of royal authority in a monarchial state versus the authority of the Council."

"That has some serious political repercussions," I said skeptically.

"And this has serious marital repercussions," she answered with renewed resolve. "I wish to see if this can be done, and if so how to do it. Will you help?"

I thought for a moment. "I'll try," I said finally, "but I'm not exactly 'in the mood' at the moment, if you know what I mean."

"I'm told that's easily fixed," the Princess answered slyly. She made some gesture, and the maid on the bottom slid out and came towards me. She undid my belt and pants in a businesslike fashion. She released my flaccid meat, which she stroked listlessly. She bent over, propping my limp noodle up, and distastefully sucked the tip into her mouth.

"Okay, okay... there's your first problem right there," I said.

"What?" the Princess asked, not seeing one.

"If you're gonna suck a dick, don't make it so obvious that you hate doing it," I explained.

"Oral sex is for prostitutes," she snapped.

"Oh yeah... did you ever stop to ask why?" There was silence. "Men pay women to suck their dicksbecause they like it. On Earth some women don't like to do it either, but many, maybe even most don't mind. It's the most common form of non-vaginal sexual activity among humans."

The Princess was silent for a second; the maid was frozen, waiting instructions, limply holding my dick. Once again her natural abhorrence of "dirt" was conflicting with her desire to fulfill her future husband's desires. Once again the latter won out.

"OK," she said quietly, "so what SHOULD she do?"

"Well for starters," I said, pushing gently on the maid's shoulders, "you need to get eyeball-to-eyeball with it! Don't bend over like you're patting a child on the head! If I'm standing, you'll have to sit or kneel." She knelt in front of me. For the first time she actually looked up at me, paying attention. Up until then, she'd just been following orders, but now it seemed like she thought she might actually learn something useful for herself as well.

"Ok. Now, you need to get past the idea that it's dirty. If you body language clearly says that you find it distasteful, you may as well not even try. I took a shower; I washed it as much as the rest of me. You wouldn't flinch at shaking my hand, but my hand has touched all kinds of germy things since last I washed it, while my penis has been safely kept clean inside my pants."

The maid eyed my penis, trying to see it in a new way. It didn't LOOK dirty. "See... now go ahead. Try kissing it first." She kissed it and found it not totally abhorrent. "OK, not try putting it in your mouth." She opened her mouth uncertainly, making an "O" with her lips and gingerly rubbing them along its tip.

"You're still afraid of it," I commented. "Imagine that my penis is chocolate-flavored." We don't actually have chocolate on my planet, but we do have a plant-based confection that females are said to be particularly fond of, so it's a good analogy. "And that you want to taste as much of it as possible." She glanced up at me, then resumed, but now was using her tongue as well. "Mmm. Much better." I probably didn't need to say anything, though, because everyone could see my penis responding to her improved technique. I was getting nice and hard, and the direct feedback in her mouth encouraged her to do even better.

"That's good," I said. "No imagine that the flavor gets sweeter the further down you go." The maid started making an effort to reach further, and found she could comfortably accommodate much more of it that she had so far. "Ahh... now that's GOOD." It felt good enough, in fact, that I was overcoming my self-consciousness of the fact that there was a Princess watching intently. The other maid too, while still on all fours, was turning and craning her head around to watch my blow job lesson.

I placed my hand softly on the maid's hair. "Men sometimes like to hold the woman's breasts while she's sucking him. That way, she gets a little something out of the experience too." The maid dropped her top and I grasped her nipple between my finger and thumb. It shot to life when the pleasureable currents ran through it. She even grunted a little, and I noticed she sucked me harder too.

"Oh yeah... nothing like a little reciprocation to get things going."

"Are you ready for the attempt?" the Princess asked impatiently. Oh yeah... this was just the warmup.

"I am," I announced, "but she's not. Look at her--she's cold, not excited at all. Most of the time, humans engage in regular intercourse first, and then proceed to anal. I think there's probably a good reason for that."

The Princess asked the maid if my proposal was acceptable, and she meekly agreed. I took a few baby steps to the side, reaching towards her. The other maid kept sucking me--I think she was starting to like the sensation of direct erectile feedback towards her efforts in her mouth. I stretched toward the other maid until I could reach her crotch. I ran my thumb gently along the cleft, reaching until I found the tiny nubbin. I then stayed there, rubbing with my thumb until it got erect with excitement. I pulled my hand back for a second to lick two fingers, the returned my thumb while gently stroking and pressing against her outer defenses. They softened, and in short order I was slipping my fingers in and out of her pussy while rubbing her clit with my thumb. This sent the current right through most sensitive part; her excitement was unmistakable as she struggled to maintain decorum while getting directly stimulate.

"Now SHE's ready," I commented. I pulled my dick free of the first maid's mouth; I thought I maybe saw just a hint of disappointment. Then, like I was carrying a hot pan I quickly brought it over to the second maid and pressed it into her vagina. She was excited now, I penetrated her easily. Too easily, really--I had been spoiled by fucking so many Earthlings. Human pussies are sized for human dicks, consequently they're really nice and tight when I fuck them. Her pussy was sized for my size dick, and while it wasn't like it or something, it just wasn't as tight of a squeeze as I was used to.All the more reason, I thought,why you might want to fuck one up the ass instead.

I fucked her steadily for a few minutes. The Princess was amazed I think by how strong her maid was reacting. She kept watching her maid's face, then looking back below to see if I was doing anything special, but really I wasn't--this was how we were MADE to mate.

I motioned to the second maid, now also standing and reduced to watching, to hand me the tube of lube again. She brought it to me. I pulled my penis free, but returned my thumb to its position over her clit. My fingers were on the outside, but placed so that the currents still directly stimulated it. The second maid squeezed me a dollop and I quickly coated my dick with it. Then, with my thumb still in place, I pointed it toward the butthole and pressed slightly.

The maid's back arched as she felt something against her anus. "Ah... relax..." I said in a soothing voice. "Concentrate on the pleasurable sensations." She tried to do as she was told, and I pressed against her rectum again. "That's it... stay calm... focus on the feeling of my fingers on you..." Encouraging her thus, and stimulating her with my fingers, she was able to stay relaxed. I felt the resistance soften, soften, and then... pop! My dick was in her ass.

The maid lifted her head, I think mostly in surprise. Certainly the Princess was... "Unbelievable! It works!" I kept thrusting, fucking the maid's ass. It was as I'd remembered--a very tight narrow ring, not much beyond it. She went around to the front to study her maid's face. "How does it feel? Does it hurt?"

"Hurt? Um... no, not really, it just feels kind of... odd." I kept fucking and rubbing her clit while she was talking. "Mmm... but it feels kind of good, too."

"It can be done! It can be done!" the Princess cried with elation. The maid and I were both content to keep fucking. "But... what if not everyone can do it? What if there's something special about -----? How do we know if you can do it with someone else?"

"There's nothing special, really. Look I'll prove it... I'll do your other maid, too."

"Is that OK?" the Princess asked. I don't know if the maids really had the option of saying no or not, but she was at least asking. But when she nodded her head, it wasn't just the dull consent they'd been giving when I first came in; I wondered if maybe she wasn't secretly glad to get the chance to feel my dick inside her, since she'd done the work to make it hard.

I pulled out from the first maid; she was definitely disappointed, having been brought so close to climax and now all of a sudden having to stand by the side. "It doesn't have to be in this position either, you know. Go ahead, just lay on your back." The second maid laid back on the divan, spreading her legs apart. "It's a good idea to have a towel handy, though," I commented.

With a slight smirk, the Princess reached over beyond the chair where she sat and produced a stack of at least a dozen. "We'd already thought of that," she laughed.

She tossed me a towel, and I wiped my dick off. Then I knelt between the maid's legs and rubbed my rock-hard cock up and down her crotch a few times. Her lips could feel my knock on the door, and became receptive. She didn't get much by way of foreplay, but my dick was still quite slippery from the lube so I was able to penetrate her. I fucked her pussy with a regular cadence. I also used my fingers on her nipples, to help get her excited.

I didn't forget my purpose, though, and when I felt like she had built up a good head of steam I pulled out and had her curl her crotch up towards me. I bent forward and worked her clit with my tongue while motioning for the lube. The Princess picked it up before the maid could get to it, and to my surprise she not only squeezed out the dollop, she rubbed it onto my dick. Her hands felt incredibly soft and pampered... maybe that was just because I KNEW she was a Princess. How many guys have had a Princess touch their junk, huh?

I was ready. The maid was, too, although still a bit apprehensive. She'd seen it done, and I'd not steered them wrong so far, but still, this was (pardon the pun) alien to them. I gave her smile. "Don't worry, I won't hurt you." Then I pressed her clit between my thumb and forefinger, giving her that sensation of direct electro-clitoral stimulation. She closed her eyes with pleasure, and at that moment I pushed against her backside. I was in her ass before she even knew I was trying it.

I started thrusting, and she instinctively adjusted her pelvis until it was comfortable. The Princess was delighted. "But... that was so EASY?!?! You're already in!" I just nodded with a little smile. She addressed the maid "how did it feel when it went in?"

The maid opened her eyes (I was still screwing her ass, mind you) and panted "I don't know... it just all of a sudden... was..."

The Princess frowned again. "But he knows what to do. It's not like he just went up and pow, in he went."

"I don't think I did anything special. I just tried to be an attentive lover, and helped my partner get excited before I tried," I explained.

The Princess gestured over to the other maid excitedly, saying to her "come on--let's see if you can do me." She threw off her robe, picked up the toy (completely forgetting that she was naked in front of a male commoner) and let the maid start lubing her ass. I happily continued to screw the other maid while we watched. I don't think she minded. So-called common knowledge on my planet was that females weren't receptive and required considerable persuasion to agree to mate. Perhaps they were more receptive than we gave them credit for, if we could mitigate the near-certainty of pregnancy.

The other maid picked up a vibrator and stoked it softly against the Princess' clitoris. At the same time she slowly began to press one finger against her anus. As she became excited, the muscle relaxed and the maid was able to probe one finger up the royal butt. As I had done, she continued with a second until two fingers were easily slipping in and out of the Princess' ass. "It doesn't hurt at all," she said in amazement, "try the dildo now."

The maid picked up the dildo they had been using when I arrived and tried to press it into the opening, but a dick on my planet is a lot more than two fingers wide and she just couldn't stretch enough. I don't know if it hurt or if she just became aware of the failure, but she tensed up, making penetration impossible.

"Earth women often masturbate in order to stay relaxed," I commented, "I've even seen them use vibrators while receiving anal penetration." The maid took the hint and picked up the vibe again. It helped, but that monster dildo was just not going to squeeze past that tight muscle. I felt the maid pushing back into me; I realized I had become so engrossed in watching the attempt I was nearly forgetting to fuck the ass I was inhabiting. Since I wasn't pushing, the maid was doing the work for me. I guess I was a little surprised how receptive to buttsex the maids turned out to be, but I certainly wasn't about to complain--or ask questions.

"It's me," the Princess sighed dejectedly, "I just can't do it."

"No, it's not you," I protested, but now remembering to fuck the maid's ass while I spoke. "It's that rigid, fake dick. The maid couldn't get that thing up there either, but when it came to a real penis it was no problem."