Taking the Risk: Misha's Story Ch. 17byshandal©
For those that wanted to know more about Misha before he met Froo, here is his story and how he came to be in England which is where he met her and fell in love,, and his time with Suzanne the woman in his past.
His passion for Suzanne becomes an obsession, as she plunges down into a self destructive whirlpool, so for those that believe that life's many experiences make up a rich and interesting tapestry....here is Misha's story.
To read about Misha and Froo please read the companion story Taking the Risk Chapter's 1-21 under Novels and Novella's.
The Doctor stood in front of him, his nasal voice spelling out the cold hard facts to Misha. She had been using heroin for possibly a couple of months or so. Injecting it to alleviate the pits of depression that comes with heavy cocaine usage. Each time she took the coke the hit was no longer strong enough or giving her the high she needed, so she had, when she was in her binge mode, taken more and more. The downside would then plunge her into the black pits.
To stop the pain she had started on the heroin.
Misha stood there stunned. He knew about the coke. He'd always known about the coke. He would find it stashed, hidden around the apartment. But the rest. It was a kick in the gut. She had hidden it from him.
"What do we do?"
The Doctor folded his arms, looking up at the tall American man standing in front of him, the look of complete shock registering on his face. "We can get her into a residential drug and alcohol treatment centre. There's an excellent one in the heart of the Kent countryside. It offers a twelve step treatment including Cognitive Behavioural Therapy to deal with the addiction as well as psychological and psychiatric care to deal with the underlying reasons for the addiction."
"How quickly can we get her in there?"
"It's not as simple as that....it isn't compulsory. The patient has to want to go to rehab, and the places are limited."
Misha looked down at his feet. "And you don't think Suzanne will want to go?"
Shaking his head the older man told him, "Over the next few days I'll have a consultation with Suzanne, approaching her with the idea and we'll work towards her accepting that she needs to go to rehab.....but at the end of the day the decision will be hers.....I'm sorry."
Misha nodded, and thanked the Doctor before turning around and going into the room where she lay and sitting down next to her bed. Looking down at Suzanne as she lay there in the bed, her blond hair usually so thick and luxurious, but now lying dank and limp around her face, dark circles under her closed eyes, the drip attached to her arm laying limp next to her on the bed,. It was then he started to retreat even more from her emotionally.
Where was the vibrant and exciting woman he had fallen in love with just two short years ago? What had happened to her in her head that she should abuse herself so much? Be so scared that she anesthetised herself with the drugs and drink?
He sat there slumped next to her in the chair, his excitement at getting his new client wiped out by actions of the woman in the hospital bed.
Suzanne stormed across the room, the hospital gown swamping her small frame, "Fuck the doctors, and fuck you Misha. I'm not going to any nuthouse...."
"It's not a nuthouse; it's a rehab centre...."
"Fuck off. I don't need to go to rehab....I can give it up anytime I want.....I've done it before, I can do it again.....you know I have....I don't need help."
"Suzy....." he began, trying to calm her down, arms outstretched, palms open towards her, "Just consider it. In the past you've stopped the drinking and taking the coke but this is different......."
"It's not....I can fucking stop when ever I want......just take me home Misha and I promise you I'll stop....."
"Suzy just consider it......"
"Fuck off Misha......"
He looked at her, her eyes wild, her breathing heavy and agitated and stepped forward towards her inviting her into his open arms. She stepped into them as he closed them around her, "Ok sweetheart....I'll take you home.....we will beat this together....I promise." But in his mind he was hoping to talk her into going to rehab.
He knew it was her only chance.
Speaking on the phone to set up the collection of the equipment that was needed to start the filming for his new client, he thanked the man at the other end, and told him that his men would be there tomorrow with the van. Misha put the phone down and walked into the otter office, at the moment just a bare room of the premises he was renting in London for his new business and sat on the floor with the two men leaning over the papers spread out in front of them.
"We collect the stuff tomorrow; I've hired a van for you to pick it all up first thing. Ok?"
Bill nodded, "No problem boss......looking at the layout of premises of Schunke and Sons, should be best to lay the cables for the filming here and set up the lighting here."
Misha agreed. He was pleased with his choice of staff he had hired. Bill and Martin were like him, young and enthusiastic, eager to make the new company a success. Both men had experience but wanted to help build something from the ground up, and he liked them and respected their knowledge.
It had been a couple of weeks since he had brought Suzanne home from the hospital, and dealing with both her and her problems, and trying to get everything set up for this new and important first client had exhausted him. He was glad he had been able to offset some of the planning and work onto the two men's shoulders, but he knew things were coming to a head with Suzanne, and each night he dreaded returning to his home in Guildford, worried with what he would find.
Suzanne was now on a Heroin replacement to try and wean her off the stuff, and the Doctor had tried to talk her into rehab, but she refused to go. Misha knew that unless she got help with her deep psychological problems she would always need to use either drink or drugs to fill the void inside her. Getting up off the floor of the bare office smiling he told the two men, "As soon as we get the payment from this job I'll buy you your desks for in here."
"No sweat boss....better to use the money on our own equipment...next job the profit will be bigger if we don't have to hire the equipment but use our own......desks can wait."
Misha nodded and patted Bills shoulder, "Thanks guys. I'm going home....see you here tomorrow morning."
He found her, like he had each night when he returned, slumped in front of the television, the bottle of vodka in front of her on the table, her eyes glazed, her body hunched up and shaking.
Bending over and kissing her he could smell the sour smell of someone unwashed.
"Hi sweetheart.....are you hungry?"
She didn't answer him, or even turn her face towards him to acknowledge his presence. Trying to ignore her pointed rudeness he walked over towards the kitchen telling her he was going to make something to eat for them. The only noise was from the television blaring out and his own pounding headache starting to form behind his eyes.
Later placing the bowl of pasta in front of her on the coffee table and sitting down on the chair beside her he watched as she sat there hugging herself and rocking. "Suzy, eat some food."
Snarling at him she kicked over the table, "FUCK OFF YOU BIG LUMP OF SHIT." Before storming into the bedroom and slamming the door. Bending down to clear up the mess of the food, now spread over the carpet and across the front of the TV he could hear her slamming things around in the bedroom. Drawers opening and then closing, the noise of things hitting the wall.
Getting up off his knees and walking towards the closed door he listened to the whirlwind inside the room before hesitantly opening the door, only to narrowly miss being hit on the head by a flying shoe. "I HATE YOU.......I HATE YOU....I HATE IT HERE...I WANT TO GO BACK HOME."
Misha felt numb. Walking over to pick up his overnight bag amongst the mess, he grabbed some clothes and stuffing them in the bag, told her, "You hate me so much Suzy, I'll stay at a Hotel tonight...tomorrow I've got the start of the shoot for a couple of days and I'll stay there up in Oxford. Decide what you want to do, because I can't do that for you." Walking over to her he told her, "I love you and want you well.....if you want me to I'll be there for you....but if you hate me as you say....well then maybe I'm the problem."
Leaning down he kissed her lightly on her forehead, "I'll be home in three days....let me know what you want to do then." and then he turned around and left, leaving her standing amongst the mess strewn across the room.
Driving across Guildford and up the A3 he felt relief. He knew he was running away, trying to escape the pressure and that it was wrong, but the release was so strong he just sped along in the car leaving the mess and Suzy behind him.
John listened to him as he poured his heart out on the phone that night. "So where are you actually staying Misha?"
"At a Motorway Hotel on the M40 so I can leave early to drive up to Oxford and the shoot, I just couldn't take anymore. I needed a break from her. I know it was a coward's way out, but I just need a breather."
"No you're not a coward Misha, just human. Stop beating yourself up. When you go back you'll be that less stressed and able to deal with her. Maybe while you're gone she'll decide to go to that rehab unit."
"God I hope she does John.....or I just don't think I can go on with her like this."
Putting the phone down he lay back on the bed, arm over his head, staring at the ceiling above him, the words she screamed at him as he left the apartment echoing around in his head.
"I HATE YOU AND WISH YOU WERE DEAD."