Terrible Taste In Tees

My friends told me I looked at the world through different eyes. As I said before, I saw things others never noticed. Once, when we were traveling, we stopped to get gas and I had to use the facilities. The floor was painted gray, a long time ago. It was worn, the paint gone in many places. I looked down, idly, and before I knew it had my phone out taking pictures. It became one of my favorite paintings.

A silhouette. Of dogs.

They were sitting on a hill. A large hound with its' head thrown back and mouth open, obviously howling. Beside and below it was a bulldog and a Scottish terrier. It was done in blacks, greys, and deep blues, with a yellow full moon hanging in the top right corner. A few cacti and undulating hills as background. It was quite soothing to look at, in my opinion.

I was working on a portrait of an ogre. It was actually a piece of driftwood I had picked up while at a friends' house. He had some river frontage, and we walked down to play with his dogs. I saw it sticking out of the sand, and pulled it loose. A stump of a small tree, the roots twisted in all directions. The water and sand had smoothed and shaped it. Luckily it was small, about twelve inches around and two feet long. It sat in my studio, staring at me.

One large horn and several smaller ones, the tangled roots like coarse hair obscuring one eye, the other the hollowed socket of a dead branch. A mouth from a gouged out bit of bark, a severe, slanting gash. I gave his skin a bark like texture because it fit. Instead of looking frightening, it came out with a look of sadness. Maybe he wasn't happy being an ogre. Who knows. I just painted what I saw.

I finished it in two days, and started on my next. Got the idea from a huge plastic container that had contained a piece of equipment I bought. It was medium blue, old, scarred, battered.

As I looked at the swirls in the plastic, a pattern emerged. A huge owl, with large eyebrows. Perched on one eyebrow was a wizard, at least in my eyes. The owl ended up looking fierce, the small wizard, long beard flowing, equally fierce. I did it in muted blues and greys, except the wizard had a white beard, and his staff had a emerald, translucent tip.

Bree came home, happy with her trip, and horny as hell. We lived in the bed for two days, something we hadn't done for a while. She was an excellent lover, giving, demanding, in equal amounts. We had done every position we could think of, or read about. She really liked being tied up, and while we did anal once in awhile, it was not a favorite. She really liked reverse cowgirl, if I spanked her occasionally while she rode me. I liked doggy, reaching around to play with her breasts, tugging on her nipples from time to time. She orgasmed almost every time I pulled. Sometimes I think she would have liked it a bit rougher, but it just wasn't me.

.................................................

I got my next idea for a shirt while we were at our favorite nude resort in Florida. We had just finished making love. I was spent, but for some reason good sex seemed to energize Bree.

She was bouncing around, standing on the balcony looking down. She had leaned over the railing, and I knew her thirty four c breasts were hanging almost straight out. I almost got another erection, despite having just gone three times in two hours.

I was watching her heart shaped ass, the evidence of our lovemaking still plain, when I had a vision. Hopping up, I walked out, pulled her upright, cupped her breasts, and gave her a huge kiss. She responded quite nicely, then pulled back.

"What was that for?"

"For being my muse. Come on."

I pulled out my laptop, and went hunting for what I wanted, explaining to her as I went. After she stopped laughing, she couldn't wait.

I went to a costume suppliers, and ordered a dozen sets of large bunny ears in pink, and a matching number of large, puffy tails. Called her agency and explained what I wanted. After SHE stopped laughing, she said she'd line everything up for next week. It wouldn't take long at all to shoot it.

I also ordered a dozen thongs in hot pink.

...............................................

The agency had the set ready. A large picture of the ocean, with a wooden fence placed in front of it. The models came out, and it was impossible to keep a straight face. Six attractive women and five buff men, in pink thongs and huge bunny ears, the large pink cottontail at the back of their thongs. Everybody just looked at each other and burst out laughing, everyone except Brandon.

"This is fucking embarrassing."

"Relax," said the photographer, "We're doing back views, nobody will see your face. You knew what was going to happen when you agreed to do it. You're getting paid, remember? Now relax, we'll be done in half an hour."

The girls had matching strapless tops on. The photographer had them line up boy girl boy girl, and took a few shots. Then he did a few of the women alone, then the men. They all put robes on while we checked the work.

Bree was holding my hand, watching.

"You know, it'd look sexier if the girls were topless and the thongs were a little tighter on the guys."

I agreed, but was reluctant.

"This isn't what they signed on for."

"Explain it to them, up their fee twenty five percent. I bet they'll go along with it. Besides, it's back views, no one will ever see our faces. I'll go ask."

Before I could stop her she was talking to the girls. A few giggled, then casually dropped their tops. One, newly married, refused, but the rest were all in. Bree looked me in the eye, then dropped hers. Her nipples, in fact all the nipples, were hard. I don't really think it was because the set was cool.

The photos were more erotic, I had to admit. The thongs on the men had been pulled up so tight you almost couldn't see the strap.

Then Brandon dropped his thong.

"This'll really look sexy."

Bree was right behind him. Soon they were all naked. I made absolutely sure her face could not be seen in any of the pictures, although there was some shots where the sides of her boobs were plain to see.

In for a dime, in for a dollar, I thought.

"All right, turn around."

No one hesitated but Bree.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, but hold on."

I had bought some pink bunny masks before deciding not to use them. The models for the most part didn't care, although a few of the girls seemed grateful, especially after I told them I was doubling their fees.

We all collapsed into laughter again when they had to glue the bunny tails on.

Bree dragged me into an office as soon as the shoot was over. She threw open her robe. It was all she was wearing, except the cottontail. She bent over the desk.

"Do me! Now!"

She was almost dripping and I was hard as a rock.

There was no love, no finesse, no words of endearment. Just grunts and moans as we slammed into each other as hard as we could. She just barely made it when I felt it coming.

I almost screamed, it was so intense. I ended up draped over her, holding my weight off of her, barely. Bree was panting like she had just finished a marathon.

"That was the most intense thing I've ever felt." she gasped.

"Yes it was. Let's go home and continue this."

We left, holding hands. Five days later I got a bill from the account manager for office cleaning. I paid it without comment.

................................................

'Beach Bunnies', took off immediately. All four versions stayed hot for months.

The nude beach we frequented found out I was behind the shot and owned the company that printed the tees, and we got a visit from management the next time we were there.

"Is it true this is yours?" he said, holding up the nude tee.

We admitted it was.

"I have a proposition for you. We're starting an ad campaign promoting our beaches. We have five in three different countries, and we want to use your shirts in the campaign. You'll have to do some more poses to advertise, bunnies on the beach, in our clubs, that sort of thing. Can you handle it?"

I was surprised, but immediately saw the value.

"Let me get the head of the ad agency we use in the loop. She does all my work and I trust them. Can you get the decision makers to meet here next week?"

He seemed agreeable, but said they had their own ad company.

"Then don't bother. Part of the deal will be them doing the work. I owe them."

It was true. They had given me some really good deals, and I wasn't that big a customer. Sherry, the owner, had always liked me, and I trusted her instincts. And I wanted my lawyer and new business manager in on it, to make sure I didn't screw up.

................................................

Ah. My new business manager. An old friend.

Leslie had come back into my life a few months back. She had graduated, gotten a good job, gotten married. We went to her wedding. J. and I were ushers. We both agreed we didn't like her hew husband, but it wasn't our life.

Two years later her company went bankrupt following a near Ponzi like venture, and she threw her husband out after catching him with another woman. And man.

Disgusted, she came home, living with J. and his wife for a month.

"Beach Bunnies" was so popular we had to expand into a larger building and hire more workers. We now had forty full time and twelve part time workers, again not counting the flea market stalls. The business had outgrown me and I knew it.

I asked Leslie for help, and since she didn't have anything else to do[nobody was hiring]she jumped right in. After thinking about it and talking it over with Bree and J., I offered her a job. General manager and chief operating officer. Seventy five thousand a year, with promises that if she stayed, as the business grew her salary would reflect it. She surprised us by accepting. It was about half what she had made, but it was the best offer she'd gotten, and she loved a challenge. If she grew us, it would look good on her record later.

I was going to handle the creative aspect, designing the tees. That wouldn't keep me busy all the time, but I would try to fill the time with new projects.

The next week Sherry, Leslie, J. and his wife accompanied us to the meeting. I had warned them beforehand it was at a nude resort, but I don't think they really expected that much nudity.

We had gone down two days early, so Sherry could tour the facilities and get a feel for what they wanted. At first they all wore bathing suits. The clients and staff knew who we were, and left us alone.

Leslie took one look, grinned, and packed her bikinis up. She still had a killer body. I think it made Bree a little nervous.

"She's cute. Have you ever....."

"Bree, have I ever asked you about past relationships? Respect that I'm loyal to you, I'd never betray you. Isn't that enough?"

She agreed it was, but I saw her and Leslie together later, and they were laughing.

"So, I heard you rode more than horses when you were in Texas."

They both burst out laughing at the look on my face. After that, Bree and Leslie were almost inseparable. I was glad she had someone to hang with, I was tied up in meetings. Leslie had to attend, but Amy, J.s' wife kept her company. She could never quite work up the nerve to drop her bottom, but she was topless the rest of the time we spent there.

J. and Sherry were the last two holdouts, but when we hit the club that night and the alcohol flowed, inhibitions flew out the window. Sherry called us the next morning wondering if we had rescued her dress from the night before. After I stopped laughing I told her we had. When we knocked on her door to return it, she answered it naked. I had to admit for forty six she had a really good body.

J. got naked, drank too much to cover his nervousness, and passed out that afternoon, ending up sunburned. He was quite uncomfortable on the flight home.

..................................................

Besides expanding my friends' horizons and views on nudity, we made a very nice deal. Sherry got the contract, Leslie looked out for our interests, and Bree was the unofficial coordinator.

They had shots of the bunnies frolicking on the beach and in the water, dancing in the clubs[Bunny Hopping, what did you expect]and hiking one of the nature trails in Costa Rica. I wanted to call that one Jungle Bunnies, but got voted down. I did come up with one that sold well out of the country, but because of child nudity laws couldn't be used in this country. And they all wore elaborate satin masks, no one ever saw a face.

It featured Bree and Brandon surrounded by ten children around three with tiny ears and tails. Baby Bunnies was a smash. The logo was "See What Happens When You Come To Our Resort? You End Up Like...Well The Picture Speaks For Its' Self"

And their mothers and fathers, members of the resorts, were all on set, just to keep the peace. Both Bree and Brandon had to pose for pictures, and both got groped. The parents got a nice check.

The campaign took two months to shoot. Sherry and crew became gypsies, spending all their time flying about setting up shoots. I got to see Bree four times, and I had to fly to each shoot to do it.

The first three times she cried in my arms, and we made love most of the times she wasn't on set. They got the occasional day off, but spent it doing PR for the resort. They were paid handsomely, but they didn't get any rest.

The last time I flew down, I was shocked. She had lost weight, and went to sleep as soon as we got into our room. After two days, she revived a bit, but seem withdrawn. I had a fit, threatening to pull my permission unless they slacked up. They were almost done, so they did one more shoot and gave everyone three days off. I had already flown home by then.

They came home tired and subdued. It was four days before Bree was back to normal. She seemed tentative the first time we made love. I asked her afterwards if something was wrong. She said she just hadn't recovered yet.

Her star was ascending in the modeling world. She was too old and well developed to ever hit the top and knew it, but catalog and print models make pretty decent money, and she got picked up by a national chain, and they had her doing television ads seen all over the country. I was glad for her, but she was gone a lot more, something I didn't care for. She laughed.

"Honey, in three or four years I'll be down to doing stuff aimed at middle aged women, with saggy boobs and big butts. Let me enjoy it, and make as much as I can while I can."

I sighed.

"All right, just make sure your biological clock doesn't run out. We agreed on two, remember?"

She was pushing thirty, just out of the danger zone.

She never really answered me.

..................................................

I really couldn't complain. I was just as busy as she was.

The best thing I'd ever done was hire Leslie. She was smart, motivated, and a great negotiator. All our standard lines were doing well, and she had gotten us into licensed printing. Thanks to an old contact she had in the television industry we were doing shirts for a few of his shows. We had a hundred ten full time employees, and were looking for a larger location.

She had located and purchased a three story office building close to the factory, had it renovated, and had two floors up for lease. It was a good investment. We kept the top floor. Leslie got the big corner office, and I had the opposite corner made into a combination office/studio.

..................................................

Things were going great. I was successful beyond my wildest expectations, Bree was doing well in her career, we had a tight group of really good friends, I was happy.

Then I wasn't.

It was an accident I found out, but that's usually how it happens. Very few spouses come to you and say "How was your day, honey? By the way, I'm fucking other people, but just while I'm away. You don't mind, do you?"

It was an impulse stop, I was near their offices so I stopped in to see Sherry, I needed her for a few days to do some new stuff. Normally I would have just called, but I thought I might catch Bree and have some lunch.

Her office was at the end of a long corridor, past the sets. They needed new space and she was looking, but in the mean time equipment lined every hallway.

I could hear the loud voices through the open door.

"You've got to stop this! It'll kill him if he finds out. You're not just risking your marriage here. Besides being a good friend, he's a client, and he's brought us his friends when they needed something. Think about what you're doing here!"

Wow. Sounded like trouble in paradise. Then again, models had a notoriously high divorce rate. I don't know if it's because all models are a bit narcissistic by nature, or the travel schedules and pressures inherent with the job, but it happened far too regularly. Bree was always telling me about one of her friends splitting from their spouse.

"Relax, Sherry. It only happens when I'm out of town, and it doesn't mean anything. It just helps relieve the stress."

Then she giggled.

"And it's a lot of fun. He'll never know."

I knew that giggle, and that voice. Bree.

"It's not right, Bree. You know how much he loves you, if he does find out, it'll be bad, really bad. I can't believe what you're risking for a little physical gratification."

"Again, there's no way he'll find out. But in the almost impossible chance that it happens, he loves me to much not to forgive me. Oh, I'll have to kiss his ass for awhile, be a good little wifey, but eventually he'll calm down, he knows he can't live without me. And of course, I'd stop immediately."

She giggle again.

"Besides, it's not a little gratification, it's a lot."

I heard Sherry sigh.

"I hope you're right. But I deal with him as a business person, and he can be quite rigid at times. The best thing you could do is stop. But, Bree, if you don't, and he finds out, don't be surprised if he puts you out on your ass. Plus, I'll have no choice but to drop you to keep his business."

"Oh, Sherry, you won't drop me. I'm one of your best. This means nothing. I still love him heart and soul. We're going to grow old together. In a year or so I'm going to retire, give him a baby. He'll get what he wants, I'll still have a husband I love, plus some memories I can secretly treasure. I'll have the best of all worlds."

I knew better than to go into that office. I could feel the rage building in me, and it would be very, very ugly if I confronted her now. I could still hear them arguing as I walked away.

I passed Sherry's assistant. When I saw him, I pulled out my phone and started talking.

"Yeah, yeah. I'll be right there. I wish you'd have told me sooner. Bye."

I looked at him.

"Hi, Allen. Do me a favor. I was going to take Bree to lunch, but something came up, something I have to take care of. Tell Bree I stopped by, and I'll see her later."

"Sure man, not a problem."

................................................

I hopped into my pickup, the big V8 making the tires squeal as I pulled out. A pickup isn't something most artists of businessmen drive, but my dad had always had one and I liked them.

J. had taken my call and was waiting for me in his office. As was his way, he went right to the point.

"You're sure?"

"Heard it from the horse's mouth. Apparently it's a regular thing on her trips."

"What do you want to do?"

I sighed.

"Leave her in the dust and not look back."

J. put his hand on my shoulder.

"You sure about this? You've got a lot invested in each other. Maybe you should give it a few days, cool down a bit."

I put my head in my hands.

"You didn't hear her J., the arrogance, the lack of guilt. She thought she would never get caught, and if she did I'd be willing to forgive her. Slight miscalculation on her part."