TGI Chronicles Pt. 1 Ch. 07

I turned up at Charlie and Rose's place to find that Rose was by herself. She had invited me to find out, as a friend, what the position was with Beth, and as an agent, whether I was going to move into Blindside.

Faced with the agent asking me about Blindside, I found it easy to take the final step. Yes I was going to move, probably as soon as next weekend if I could get everything organised.

Then Rose asked about my marriage, was I still certain that it was going to end in divorce? Well, yes I was pretty certain about that too. I was just trying to make up my mind what were the sensible steps before I went to see the lawyers. I wanted to be as easy on Beth as I could, and I wanted to get her to talk to me enough that I could find some satisfactory explanation, something that would allow me to put it all behind me.

Rose had set a table on their terrace, overlooking their immaculate garden, with a light salad ready. Over lunch, Rose invited me to tell her what really had happened. She had whatever Charlie had told her, and the little she had picked up from me. She would like to hear the whole story. So, I told her, from my suspicions on that Thursday afternoon, right through to my futile meeting with Beth on the Wednesday of this week.

Some people are good listeners, Rose was one of them. She didn't interrupt, she watched me and just listened.

"Thank you for that, Tim. At least I know how you see it. If you do want to take me up on my offer to see if some reconciliation sessions with Beth might help, then I'll ask her about her view of those events, what she was thinking, what she was trying to say. But, for the moment, I wonder if we can go over a couple of things, just so I've got it clear in my head?"

I took a drink from the flavoured water we were drinking. "Sure, anything that might help, you might have a different independent view of things."

"It doesn't really matter what my view is. But it is important to make sure you really do have your own clear view, having thought about everything." She didn't raise her head from collecting a forkful of salad, but she continued "You were a bit ... worse for wear on that first afternoon? That probably made you a bit more volatile would you say?" She did look up to watch me reply.

"Well, I wasn't drunk, if that's what you mean. I knew what was going on, and can remember it all very clearly. But, yes, I guess I was a bit volatile as you call it. My emotions were all over the place." I looked back at her across the table, challenging her to say I had behaved unreasonably.

"mmm... I can understand that. I don't blame you, just having those suspicions must have been an awful shock. No, I was just wondering what sort of person you were for Beth to talk to. But I can ask her that, if it comes to it." She smiled, and poured me some more flavoured water from the bottle. I said nothing.

Rose sat thinking for a little while, staring out at the garden. I watched her between eating my salad. Eventually she looked round at me "As I understand it, Beth did convince you that there was nothing wrong, but you had some deep nagging doubt. Right?" I nodded.

Rose leant back in her chair "But then she asked you what you would have done if she had admitted to an affair. And you told her that it would certainly, beyond all shadow of a doubt, mean a divorce. Right?"

"Yes. It's obvious. I realised years ago that adultery by either of us would be the end. You, of all people, must know that there are some things that just can't be got over." I was a bit surprised that she should question me on this.

Now she looked innocently surprised. "Oh, Yes. I'm not one of those people who think marriages should be patched up at any cost. For some, divorce is a very sensible answer. No, I was interested that you told Beth, just at that time before she had admitted anything, that if she did admit something then it would be the end. That couldn't have been easy for her, not knowing her secret."

"Well, yes. I guess I didn't make it easy for her."

We sat in silence for a couple of minutes. Then Rose asked "Tell me, Tim. You said that you've known for years that any affair would result in divorce, when did you decide that? Was it in a discussion with Beth?"

I thought back. "No. I remember, about six or nine months after we were married I was sent on a residential course for a week in a big hotel in London. We lived in a small flat in central London at that time, so I was pretty pissed off. I was having to stay in a hotel when I could easily have gone home, it was only about four miles away. Anyway, after the first day's sessions everyone went to the bar. There was a whole bunch of guys discussing which club or pub they were going to go to, where did they stand the best chance of picking up girls? These were married men, many of them like me, within a few miles of their wives and children. And yet, they were planning to get themselves laid at the first opportunity. It just struck me as wrong."

Rose was doing her watching and listening bit again, "And?" she prompted.

"Well I made some comment to the guy next to me, he was sitting at the bar, and was about forty-ish I guess, and he was also on the course. He said that most of it was just barroom macho talk, most of them would get themselves nothing worse than a hangover. But it led to a conversation about adultery, and what was forgivable. We went on talking about it right through our drinks and dinner and afterwards, back in the bar. I guess it was because I was newly married, that these sort of issues interested me, but I realised then that an affair would be the end."

I sat and looked at Rose. She looked at me, "Did you talk to Beth about your thinking?"

I wasn't sure about that "I can't remember. It wasn't a secret, but whether it ever came up I don't know. But it's a pretty obvious conclusion. It's not exactly a revolutionary idea."

She smiled. "Oh, No! A lot of people feel like you do. But they aren't you, and they aren't in your position. I was just a little surprised that you were just so reliant on a theoretical decision you made some six or seven years ago when drinking and talking to a stranger in a bar. I would have expected that you would have revisited the idea now, for you specifically in the position you are now. That's all."

That annoyed me. "But it doesn't need revisiting."

"Fair enough. It's up to you, it's your life. I was just surprised that you hadn't just checked it through in these circumstances. Not that you know all the circumstances, that's part of your problem. It's just that you are such a thoughtful and analytical person. Anyway, would you like a cup of coffee?"

We had that coffee, and chatted some more. Then Simon and a very well developed blonde girl, the epitome of the blonde bimbo, came out of the house. Simon went over and kissed his mother. I stood up, Simon said hello and introduced me to the fabled Maddy. We chatted politely. Then Simon asked his mother if he could borrow her car, and off they went with Simon waving the car keys.

Rose called after them "Remember, we are visiting your grandmother tomorrow. You need a good night's sleep, so don't be too late"