Thank God for Irish Women Ch. 02

The gorilla exhibit was amazing. Zoo Atlanta had the largest collection in the nation, and a sign said that 19 had been born there since 1988. As we sat on a bench and watched, two of the younger males decided to mix it up. After a few minutes, calm was restored when one of the big silverback males approached. I said to Emily, "Just like two teenagers fighting over a girl."

She had a odd look on her face so I jokingly asked, "You ever have two guys fight over you?"

"Actually, I have and it wasn't funny. Both were suspended."

"Okay, tell me the story."

She grinned but seemed reluctant for a moment.

"Why do you want to know?"

"I'm interested, as a brother would be."

She slowly shook her head, grinned and replied, "Well, okay." She glanced at me again before looking down at her sandals.

"I was a cheerleader in high school, and many guys wanted to date me. Mom wouldn't let me until I turned 16, and then I began going out with a few different boys. It was mostly a good experience. Of course, all guys wanted sex but I'd only let them go so far. Never to third base... well, almost never." I smiled when she looked sheepish.

"I was at my locker one day, and a new guy was trying to make a date with me. One of the guys I dated for several months came by. There were ugly words exchanged, and they began slugging each other. Girls were screaming, and other guys and teachers came to break it up. They were both bloody. It was awful."

"You said they were suspended?"

"Yeah. They received a two-week suspension and had to attend anger management classes before the principal would let them return.

"That's when I began noticing Patrick as more than just a friend. His locker was near mine and when the guys began arguing, he came and took my arm to lead me away. He was very concerned about me."

She looked down and bit her lower lip to keep from crying. I slipped my arm around her back and she leaned into me.

After a few quiet moments, she said, "Let's get some ice cream. I'm buying."

As we sat at a table in front of the concession, I asked, "Did you date much after you were 16?"

"Yeah, before Mom was killed. Life was carefree then. I was making good grades so she let me have more freedom to party. Patrick and I gradually grew closer and spent time together on weekends. Mom liked him and his parents.

"I was about a month away from 17 and had just finished my senior year when she was killed in the wreck. Patrick was almost two years older than I and was already in college. We sometimes went a couple of weeks without seeing each other, but when we got together, wow. He was always quiet and reserved, but he said I made up for that."

We both chuckled before she looked down, fighting to control her tears.

"He was always the rock I leaned on. We talked at night for hours at a time. He was unlike other guys. He was serious about the future and getting a great degree. I have no idea why he got messed up with drugs."

"When you return to school, what curriculum will you take?"

"I was in computer science and will probably go back to that. Patrick convinced me that information technology would always be a good field for jobs, and I enjoyed it."

"I agree with Patrick. I took six computer programming and design courses as part of the engineering curriculum. I thought about switching to computer science but decided I liked electrical design better. The two disciplines are complementary."

As we walked to the exit, I asked what she would like for dinner.

"Nothing big. That fried chicken was heavy and I'm not hungry after eating the ice cream. How about you?"

"The same. What about going out later tonight for Chinese?"

"That's perfect and the leftovers will be good."

****

We both decided to take a nap. We were tired from the three hours of walking at the zoo, and I was sure Emily was still in a significant sleep deficit. I knew I was from the events of the previous night.

After two hours, I heard a light knock and my bedroom door opened. Emily peeked in. "You awake?"

I rolled over and smiled. "I am now."

"Sorry, I want to ask you something."

She walked over and sat on the edge of the bed. I propped myself up on my elbows.

"Would it be okay if we share a hotel room when we're driving to the coast?"

"Oh jeez, Emily. That scares me. You're in a very fragile state of mind, and I don't want to cause more tension. Why are you comfortable asking this?"

"You've been the perfect gentleman. I can tell that you have my interests at heart. I'm not concerned in the least about sharing a room with you. Now, I do want a separate bed, of course. We both wear pajamas and we can dress in the bathroom. We don't have to be naked in front of each other. And I can save a lot of money that will come in handy when I get home."

I stared at her for several moments while thinking. "Let's try it one night if you're sure about this."

"I'm good with it. If you become uncomfortable, we can go back to the original plan. We both have to be comfortable. Agreed?"

"I guess."

"Thanks." She smiled and returned to her bedroom.

I lay there and thought about what just happened. My upbringing demanded that I be responsible for my decisions, and I was very concerned about that one. I knew she was clinging to me since I was the only choice she had. She as much as said so. Now, she wanted us to spend the nights in the same room. I was afraid to get emotionally attached to her any more than I already was.

She's being nice to me, I thought. We're just too different. However, I was stuck. My Christian beliefs refused to let me do anything else. I had to help her and then be understanding when she left me. She could have been the woman I'd always wanted to find.

****

While Emily was changing for dinner, I called the Best Western and canceled the reservation for the second room.

We drove to a local Chinese restaurant that was very popular with the college students. Surprisingly, there were many full tables. Universities and colleges were in recess, but the locals seemed to have replaced the students.

As we dined, Emily said, "When we get to San Francisco, I want to take you to our Chinatown. The food there is more traditional, old world Chinese, and is very good."

"I'd like that. I'll need you to be my city guide. I've never been there, except for the interview trip, and know very little about the area."

"Nothing would please me more. It's a magical city."

"To be readmitted to Stanford, can you apply online now?"

"Yes. I've already checked and can do that, but I need to make a large upfront payment I don't yet have. It's going to take some time to get the funds from Pat and Nancy."

"How much do you need?"

"About $5,000. That would wipe out my available funds and leave me with nothing to live on."

"I could loan it to you."

She stared at me for a moment. "You have that much?"

"I do."

"How does a farm boy get that much money?"

"We have a big farm but don't worry about that. I have it; it's sitting unused in my account and I can loan it to you."

She was silent for a few moments before replying, "Well, if you don't mind. What interest rate do you charge?"

I laughed. "For you, nothing. I'll move the money to your account. You do online banking, don't you?"

"Doesn't everyone?"

"Will you be able to stay in Patrick's apartment?"

"Pat told me the lease is paid through September so I have four months to find something else. It's nice and very near the campus."

"I'll be working near Cupertino. How far is that from Stanford?"

"Only ten or eleven miles. In fact, our apartment is about halfway between. Maybe you could stay with me until you find a place."

I could feel myself slipping more and more into an emotional attachment but was powerless to refuse her generous offer.

"That might work out. You must let me pay you rent, however. My company will pay temporary living for up to 60 days."

We finished dinner and took our take-home boxes to the register. I left a tip, but Emily insisted on paying for the meal. It was almost 10:00 pm and we were both tired.

As we entered the apartment, Emily said how much she enjoyed the day and being with me. We looked into each others' eyes, and something clicked. We both grinned, and she leaned into me, pulled my head down and kissed me on the lips. It was a light and delicate kiss that lasted only a couple of seconds. She smiled and walked to her room.

Monday, May 10, 2010

It was a quiet night. We were both exhausted, and I'm sure that helped us sleep. I didn't hear any sounds from Emily.

After watching the early local news, I took coffee and sat at the table to make a list of what I needed to do that week.

It was three days before the moving company was scheduled to pack and load my belongings. All the last minute actions I needed to take were beginning. I needed to call and schedule Comcast to pick up the DVR and router on the 13th. I needed to make a hotel reservation at a local Hampton Inn for that night since the movers would have taken the two beds. I also needed to call Georgia Power to do the final reading of the meter.

The apartment manager planned to come early on the 14th to do the final inspection and, hopefully, we could start driving by 10:00 am.

Thankfully, my Explorer had plenty of room for Emily's luggage besides the two large bags I had to take. I needed to purchase a large chest cooler to hold food, drinks and other items that were in the fridge. Mom would use the partial jars of pickles, jams and condiments I'd have remaining.

I heard the shower in Emily's bedroom and some 20 minutes later she came out wearing white shorts and a dark pink blouse. Her green eyes sparkled.

"Good morning Matt."

"Good morning. You look nice."

"Thanks."

I was still seated, and she rested her hand on my shoulder as she stood beside me. "I want to ask you something. Did my kiss last night bother you?"

"No, of course not. It was just unexpected."

"You had a funny look on your face."

"I felt funny."

I remember thinking that was a good time for a clear understanding.

I reached for her hand. "Emily, can we talk a few minutes?"

"Okay, but let me get coffee."

She returned with her cup and sat at the table.

"I need to know what you want out of our relationship." Her eyes opened wide. "So far, I've been assuming I'd help you return to your friends and give you any help you need to get back in school. But then, you'd go your way and I'd go mine."

She looked down at her coffee and avoided my eyes.

"The last few days, I've been getting signals that you're thinking differently. Until your invitation to share your apartment and your kiss last night, I attributed everything to the emotional state you must be in, but now I'm not sure."

There was a long moment of silence.

"Matt, I'm struggling with my emotions and probably will for some time. I haven't thought much about what comes next other than the basics of returning home and getting back in school."

There was another long silence. To me, she just confirmed my suspicion. She was using me.

I probed. "You appear to be taking an interest in me. You've kissed me a couple of times, hugged me frequently and asked for me to hold you. Now don't get me wrong, all that has thrilled me but I don't know where this is going."

She smiled, "I think you're the best thing that could have happened to me last Wednesday morning. You showed more compassion for me than I thought anyone would do. Why wouldn't I show my appreciation for that? As for asking you to hold me, I needed to feel close to somebody. It's hard to grieve alone, and I was dying inside. But, I don't know where our relationship is going. Please don't ask for me to commit. I need time."

"That's fine. I won't. But, you need to know that I could easily fall for you."

She smiled and nodded.

"Are you going to kiss me again?" I asked with a smile.

"Probably, unless you tell me not to. And I'll probably ask you to hold me again."

"But it'll be like friends, right?"

"Right, just like close friends." She smiled again.

I pleaded, "Just don't lead me on then drop me at the first opportunity."

"I'll never do that, Matt. I promise. Did another girl do that to you?"

"Yes."

"Now I understand why we're having this discussion. You think I'm flirting with you and leading you on because I want something from you. And as soon as I get it, you think I'll be gone."

"Something like that," I replied.

She looked into my eyes and reached for my hand. "I'm not a shallow person as she must have been. When I do something, I mean to do it. Matt, I'll not lead you on and give you false expectations. But, you must promise not to do that to me. I've had too many disasters. If our relationship grows, I will be fully invested emotionally in you and you must be with me. And we must always be totally honest with each other."

I nodded and smiled.

"As I keep learning, Matt, life is much too short to do otherwise."

****

At lunchtime, we drove to The Varsity, a local favorite eatery since 1928 that was famous for its grilled and deep-fried food. It was the world's largest drive-in. We went inside instead of sitting in the car.

Emily studied the menu with a broad smile on her face and her nostrils flaring from the enticing aroma of fried onions and burgers. She took my recommendation and had a chili cheese dog and onion rings but opted for a diet cola instead of a milkshake.

I usually ordered two chili cheese dogs and a large chocolate shake. Since I was now determined to lose weight, I ordered one chili dog and a small chocolate shake. Every little bit helped, I rationalized. We sat at a table across from each other.

"Jeez, this is good. The onion rings are delish, but the chili cheese dog is fabulous. Thanks for recommending it."

"Here, try this chocolate shake. I think they make the best." She reached over and sucked up about a third of it. "Hey, I didn't mean for you to take all of it!"

"You're just being selfish. Here, you can have some of my cola." We both smiled.

A hand touched my shoulder, and a woman whispered, "Hey handsome." I turned to see an old flame behind me. I stood, and we embraced as warm greetings were exchanged.

"Emily, this is Barbara."

"Hi Emily, sorry to interrupt. Matt is an old and dear friend."

Emily smiled, "Hi Barbara, nice to meet you."

"Matt, I thought you'd be out of here by now."

"Leaving soon; got a job in Silicon Valley that starts June 1st. What about you?"

"Got a great job up in Kennesaw starting next week."

"That's fantastic Barbara. I'm happy for you."

"So are you two a couple?"

Emily responded, "Yes. Isn't he great?"

"He surely is, Emily. We were an item for a while, but another girl broke us up."

Emily replied, "That happens sometimes... but I'm sure you landed on your feet."

"I did, and she's still my partner."

Emily turned red.

"Well, it's good to see you again, Barbara. I wish you and Dana the best." She leaned into me, and we kissed cheeks.

After she was out of earshot, Emily asked, "She's bi?"

"I actually think she's lesbian but still exploring her sexuality. We dated for a couple of months, and I never suspected anything until she introduced me to Dana, her partner."

She grinned. "Did you sleep with her?"

I frowned. "Now would you ask your brother that question?"

"Yes. Total honesty now."

I stared at her for a moment before replying, "Yes, I did. She was great."

"I'm sorry if I embarrassed you."

"You didn't embarrass me. You didn't see my chest puff up when you said we were a couple?"

She rolled her eyes and grinned before finishing her dog and the rest of my shake. I was relegated to drinking the remainder of her soda. At least I had even fewer calories than planned.

After lunch we went to a Walmart store for a cooler and two six-packs of soda. Emily needed new sleepwear, and she surprised me by asking my opinion on her choices.

"Emily, I'm not going to choose your sleepwear. You pick what makes you comfortable and I'll agree."

"You're no help. You go elsewhere and let me decide."

While I was browsing the magazine rack, Emily called my cell phone and said she was ready. I walked to the register and saw she had already checked out.

"What did you buy?" I asked.

"I'm not going to show you. You might not like it."

"Are you mad at me?"

"No, not really. Just don't say anything when I wear it."

"Fair enough."

****

That evening, we opted to see a movie after dining on leftover Chinese. The current releases were less than inspiring, but we chose "How to Train Your Dragon." It was a very cute, lighthearted cartoon. Emily didn't need anything serious or dramatic and that was perfect for her.

We were home early and watched TV. Emily asked if she could have a beer.

"You're underage Emily."

"I know, but it's okay if you give it to me."

"Not really."

"Oh come on. You won't get arrested."

I frowned at her.

"Pretty please." She flashed a devious grin.

I couldn't help but smile.

"Tell you what. I'll open one for myself and go to the bathroom. I'm not responsible for what happens to it while I'm gone."

"I'll watch it for you."

"I'm sure you will."

I was away for only a few minutes, but there was no beer in sight when I returned.

"Where's my beer?"

"It was skunked. I had to pour it down the drain."

I smiled. "You could make up something better than that."

She rolled her eyes before saying, "I think you should get another one."

"I don't want any of that skunked beer."

"Well, maybe I overreacted."

I sat next to her and asked, "What am I to do with you?"

She thought for a moment. "Just have patience."

I gazed into her sparkling eyes and smiled. "I will. Now let's get some sleep."

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

I heard her cry out sometime in the middle of the night. This continued for a minute or longer, and I walked to her door. I knocked, but there was no answer. She was crying and yelling "stop" to someone. I slowly opened the door, and she was sitting up in bed and looked as if she were in a trance.

I shook her arm. She stopped talking, blinked and seemed to wake up. The trance was broken, and she began crying. We embraced each other and sat there for several minutes as her tears flowed, soaking my pajamas.

"I'm sorry Matt. These dreams are scaring me to death. Why can't they go away?"

"What did you dream about this time?"

She pulled out of our embrace. Her eyes showed extreme sadness.

"I dreamed that Patrick and I were at a party with friends and that you and he got into a fight. I didn't know what it was about, but you two were beating the crap out of each other. I was screaming and yelling for you to stop, but you didn't. None of my friends would help. Why does this happen, Matt?"

"I don't know why that dream would happen. Your mind must be dealing with his death, but I've no idea why I'd be part of it."

"I've been thinking about you but not in that way. You don't have anything to do with violence and certainly not with his death."

"Did you take the sleeping pills tonight?"

"No, I couldn't find the bottle."

"Oh, I forgot; I put it away. I'll get a couple for you and a glass of water."

When I returned, she rose on one elbow to sip the water and swallow the pills.

"Thanks. Why did you put them away?"

"I'm concerned about you."

She looked away and laid her head on the pillow. I tucked her in and walked to my bedroom after closing her door.

I lay there and wondered how this was going to work when we're in the same hotel room. Her dreams were already causing me to lose sleep. I said a prayer that God would give her some relief.

****

As customary, I watched the early local news while sipping coffee. Like always, there were murders, robberies, and at least a half-dozen car accidents in Atlanta overnight. Rush hour traffic was worse than normal, but it would be a pretty day and not too warm.