The 14th Anniversary

"But that wasn't the only time, right?" Rebecca asked.

"No. It was the only time he really hit me a couple of years later I wanted him to do it again but he refused. In College I was arrested in a bar brawl. He had to come and bail me out. Instead of yelling at me he only looked at me. There was so much sadness and disappointment in his eyes. It hurt to see it. I asked him to use his belt on me but he refused. It took me weeks before I could again look into his eyes without feeling guilty."

"Did he tell you why he refused to punish you that way?" My Mistress asked.

"Dad told me that it had been wrong to take his anger and fear out on me like that and that he would never allow himself to lose control like that again." I answered.

"Do you think that he lost control?"

"No, I think that I got what I deserved," I said.

"Did it arouse you, Sarah, having had to bend over and being whipped by your father?"

I looked down on the table. I knew that I had blushed.

"Tell me, Sarah," Rebecca ordered.

"I was not aroused when it happened. I was not really interested in sex at that time and I was too ashamed having disappointed and worried my father. But later I started to fantasise about it and masturbated -- only it was not my father holding the belt. And before you ask, no, I don't know who it was. I never saw a face. I only know that the person was tall with big hands caressing my behind between strokes. The gentleness made the fierce pain of the belt go away and it made me feel safe."

My face was burning in embarrassment but Rebecca smiled encouragingly, "Thank you for being so honest with me, Sarah."

Rebecca bent over the table and kissed me, another breathtaking kiss that left me longing for more, "I have a surprise for you, Sarah. Close your eyes and put your hands behind your back."

Subconsciously I knew that this was a test but it didn't even occur to me not to obey. I heard her leaving and for a second I was tempted to disobey and follow her with my gaze. It was hard, probably the hardest thing ever asked of me. It took ages for her to come back but when she did she gave me another kiss on the forehead and caressed my cheek with the back of her fingers. She asked me if I had really kept my eyes closed and I told her that I had.

"Why?" My Mistress asked.

I didn't know what to say. I felt her slide behind me. She grabbed my wrists and held them tight.

"Tell me, Sarah. You know the answer," Rebecca whispered in my ear.

I knew she expected an answer. I was pretty sure that I knew what she wanted me to say, but I just couldn't. I wouldn't.

"Tell me, Sarah," she repeated.

"I didn't want to disappoint you by disobeying your order," I finally said.

"Good answer. Now, for your surprise. Open your mouth."

I obeyed, once again without thinking. It were strawberries, fresh strawberries in February, juicy and full-flavoured as if fresh from the field. I thanked her and she allowed me to open my eyes but told me to keep my hands where they were. We shared a small plate of the fresh fruit but the best part were the kisses she gave me between every other bite.

Finally she asked, "Would you like to spend the rest of the day with me, Sarah?"

"I would love to, Rebecca, but I have an appointment at two o'clock, something that would be hard to rearrange but I can try."

"No, Sarah. I don't want you to neglect your work because of me. Do you have any idea how long your meeting will take?"

"An hour, maybe an hour and a half. Perhaps we could meet afterwards," I proposed. "I have a drawer full of take-out menus at my penthouse apartment."

"I have a better idea. Let me do the cooking. I'm a pretty decent cook if I put my mind to it. We can go and do some grocery shopping and I'll cook while you go to your meeting. Would you like that?"

I answered her with a kiss.

~*~

My Mistress turned out to be more than just a decent cook. As one of the country's leading trauma surgeons she had to be a perfectionist and she strived for perfection in everything, even in cooking. She was really good and her vegetable lasagne was the best I ever ate. It still counts among my favourites.

I managed to cut down my meeting to forty-five minutes. Less than five minutes later I was back at my apartment. Living a few floors above one's workplace does have its undeniable advantages. It also has its downsides, of course, because you're just too conveniently at hand if there's trouble during your time off. Sorry, I'm getting off-topic here.

We ate at the kitchen table and I wanted to just leave the dirty dishes, but Rebecca insisted on tidying up. I wanted to pout but she struck me a deal I could not refuse. She rewarded me with a kiss for every cleaned and dried piece of cutlery and tableware, and not with a kiss on the forehead.

My nipples were hard with arousal and I knew that my panties were already soaked through by the time we adjourned to the living room and snuggled on the couch. We kissed and caressed each other. Suddenly our clothes were gone. I felt the wetness between my thighs and I could smell Rebecca's arousal. I longed to taste her and began to kiss her way downwards but before I could reach her silky curls she stopped me.

"I'm sorry, Sarah, but I can't do this, not this way. If I let you continue it would only be sex and I want so much more from you. We have to talk first, set some ground rules," she said.

"I want to make love to you first, Rebecca, please. Talking can wait."

"That's what I also want, Sarah, but to make love I need to be able to trust you, and that's what we have to talk about. Trusting someone is not something I do easily."

What she left unsaid was that by my actions the other night I had lost or at least jeopardised that trust, but I still understood. That's why her words hit me like a sledgehammer. I instinctively knew that she had to forgive me before we could go further. So, I took a deep breath, surprised by the calm I felt, and looked into her brown eyes. I wanted to make sure that she knew how serious I was, "I know I lied to you and I was late the other night. I know I have to earn your forgiveness and your trust. Would you please punish me?"

"Are you sure that this is what you really want, Sarah?" Rebecca asked.

"I don't have an explanation, Rebecca, it just feels like the right thing to do. Please, punish me." I said.

"How would you like to be punished, Sarah?" My Mistress asked.

"I... I don't know. I never even thought about something like this, not in real life, and my fantasies, well, they just don't compare to what even the possibility of being punished makes me feel now."

"That's very encouraging, Sarah. It's not the way I wanted to introduce you to the world of dominance and submission, but we have to start somewhere. Would you consent to a spanking?"

I was afraid but I nodded.

"Good. You'll get extenuating circumstances concerning your tardiness. It was our first meeting and you didn't know how important that is for me."

"Still, I should not have been late without a good reason. It was disrespectful. Earlier that day I was meeting with an important literary agent and he was six minutes late. I seriously considered cancelling the meeting. When I am late, however, I don't think twice about it. You're right to punish me for being late, Mistress."

"I'm not your Mistress, Sarah, not yet. We're on the way there but that's not something that can be hurried. I'm going to spank your with my bare hand for being late and use a hairbrush or a ruler to punish your lie," Rebecca said.

"I have both but I know something even better. Let me get it."

I went to my bedroom and returned with a long, dark brown leather belt. I presented it to my Mistress.

"Is this the belt your father used when you were sixteen, Sarah?"

"Yes Rebecca. Will it do?"

"It will more than do. It's perfect. It has a nice weight, enough to have an impact but not enough to tax its wielder. It's also wide enough not to leave too many pronounced marks. And then there's also the psychological value. Did you ever use it on yourself?"

"I tried it once, after my father's death but it was so awkward and I felt completely ridiculous." I answered.

"Good. Come here and drape yourself over my knees."

Rebecca, my Mistress started to systematically spank my buttocks. She concentrated on the right butt cheek and only stopped when it felt like it was on fire and I was squirming and kicking my legs. She held me tight and my other cheek was marked the same way.

Today I know that they were nothing but love-taps. Nowadays my warm-up spankings for play sessions are harder. Then it basically served my Mistress to gauge the sensitivity of my skin and give her an impression on my willingness to obey and hold still. Months later my Mistress told me that she even had reduced the number and force of her spanks.

She caressed my burning behind and began to speak, "Tell me, Sarah, why are you being punished?"

"Because I was late without a good reason and because I lied to you, Rebecca," I answered with a slight tremble in my voice, not because I was afraid of the rest of the punishment. At the time I didn't know enough about the pain an expertly wielded belt can cause. No, I trembled because I finally understood how much I needed this, how much I needed someone to take charge and show me my boundaries.

"And now for your punishment for lying to me. And for future reference, there never will be any extenuating circumstances for lying. If you cannot tell the truth, say nothing at all, but do not lie to me. Should there ever be a next time you will not get off this easily. Now, I want you to focus on keeping your legs still. You don't need to count."

My Mistress' left hand was firmly planted on the small of my back to keep me still. I felt her warm, naked thighs under my belly and somehow the skin contact grounded me.

"This will be harder to take than the first part. So, should you come to a point where you are sure that you can't take anymore I want you to use a safeword. It should be a word you don't usually use. Do you want to choose it yourself?"

"Elephant. My safeword will be Elephant. Thank you, Rebecca." I said.

"Do not thank me just yet, Sarah. I know it's hard but try to relax."

The first stroke of the doubled belt hit me mid-thigh and Mistress slowly worked her way upwards. I nearly jumped off her lap when the belt hit the already punished areas for the first time but her other hand held me down. I cried hot tears and was convinced that I would die with the next stroke but I didn't use my safeword.

Finally it was over and my Mistress pulled me to my feet. I still don't know how many strokes I received that day. My legs were shaky and I had to rely on her support to keep standing. She held me and kissed my tears away.

Her soulful brown eyes found mine, "You are forgiven, Sarah. I'm very proud of you."

"I knew I would be safe with you, Rebecca. I knew that you would not really hurt me."

Her smile would have lit up a whole palace.

"Come," she said, "let's go to your bedroom. Your butt cheeks need some healing lotion."

"I have some body lotion with aloe but aside from some light painkillers my medicine cabinet is rather bare. I promise to do better next time," I answered.

"It's alright. The body lotion will have to do. I'll have a look and make you a list of needed supplies later. Come, I don't want your muscles to tense up too much."

My Mistress was very gentle when applying the lotion but I still flinched a couple of times. I was such a wuss then.

"Rest now, Sarah. You deserve it." She said.

"Please, make love to me. I need your touch, Rebecca. I know I don't deserve it, but please take me, make love to me, please, make me yours."

And she did, the whole evening and during most of the night. She licked me; she entered me with her fingers. She used my own vibrator on me, and she allowed me to do the same for her.

~*~

That had been the beginning of a long journey of learning and discovery, a journey of love and doubt, of trust and fears, a journey of individual growth and family. Fourteen years ago she never would have thought that down the line they still would be together or that they still would not only love each other but also be in love with each other or that they would have a daughter who brightened both of their lives.

She heard the distinctive sound of the digital lock being undone and tried to smile around her gag when the door opened, suddenly unsure if her Mistress would appreciate the surprise. She lowered her eyes to the edge of the couch table and though she tried to stay calm her heartbeat increased and she felt goose bumps erupt on her skin.

She heard the muffled thud of something landing on their carpeted floor, a second louder thud and booted steps rushing over to her -- and then her head was lifted and she looked into her Mistress' deep brown orbs, her aching knees forgotten, renewed arousal letting her nipples strain against the alligator clamps, her heartbeat thundering in her ears.

Rebecca was kneeling in front of her. She smiled, that brilliant smile that could light up a whole palace and was reserved only for Sarah and their daughter. She removed the ball gag and kissed her submissive wife, claiming her with her lips and tongue and teeth until they had to stop to breathe.

"I love you, Sarah Eriksson-Garber."

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