The Birthday Gift

I raised a brow. I'd seen the billboards for Saunders Real Estate. I hadn't made the connection.

"Those are your billboards?"

She looked a little embarrassed again. "Uh, its just publicity. No big deal."

But I wondered.

We pulled up to the Stroudsburg museum of history, housed in an old mansion on the outskirts of town. Limousines were lined up at the front gate, each pausing to let their formally dressed occupants out before driving off. My hands were trembling as our turn approached. Vic reached out for my hand and squeezed.

"Most of these people are the parents of the kids you went to school with. You'll know some of them, and some of your old pals will even be here. Just relax, okay? And I'll stay close, I promise."

I nodded, taking a deep breath as the valet opened our door. I stepped from the vehicle, Vic right behind me, her hand on my lower back as we started toward the entrance. The first thing I noticed was how white the guests were. I know it sounds strange, but when you're one of the only blacks in a crowd, race becomes salient. Then I noticed the women's attire. Wonderfully, rich colors and lots of sparkly jewelry. Finally, I realized all the men wore black tuxedos, very much like Vic's. And she'd been right, some of the faces looked familiar. In fact, I noticed Kathryn and Laura, two of my old pals that Dee Dee had mentioned. They hadn't noticed me yet, or maybe they didn't recognize me, but Vic saw where my glance rested and guided me in that direction.

"We don't have to—"

"Oh my god!!! Rayn!!!"

Kathryn ran up to hug me. She was drop dead gorgeous in a scarlet gown. Moments later I was pulled into the warm embrace of Laura. She had grown quite plump since high school, but she was still quite attractive and dressed in a very complementary emerald dress. They both started talking at the same time.

"We just saw Dee—"

"And she said you'd been in New York—"

"Were you planning to come to see us—"

"— at The Canteen?"

"It so good to see you! Dee's right, you're still gorgeous!"

"Of course she is, still turning all the guys' heads—"

"It's been so long!"

I didn't have to say a word. They did most of the talking. Vic had disappeared for a moment and then reappeared, placing a glass of champagne in my hand. They started talking about high school, college, their husbands, their kids. They were both housewives, sitting on all the right committees, just like Vic's mother. That meant their husbands were relatively well off, I assumed. If I didn't understand that because of their social position, the huge diamonds on their ring fingers would probably have clued me in. Each had two kids, and I had to oooh and aaah at the pictures. The kids were adorable, actually. Each enrolled in the best private schools. I wondered when the public school system had become unacceptable. Probably when blacks and Hispanics from New York and New Jersey had started moving into the area.

Vic skillfully maneuvered me away from them after about 90 minutes, her hand on my lower back again, and brought me out onto a wonderfully secluded balcony. I inhaled deeply, glad to be way from the rich, musky perfumes that had combined and formed a relatively suffocating cloud in the room. She allowed me to finish my champagne, handing me another glass as she then guided me in a new direction. There were so many faces, so many names...I couldn't remember most of them. I figured it didn't matter. I was a girl from the wrong side of the tracks. I most likely would not see these people again.

Vic seemed to be moving in a specific direction and it took me a while to figure out she was guiding me toward her mother. Her mother was mobbed by people and we had to squeeze through the crowd. For some reason, people seemed to naturally move out of Vic's way. I wasn't sure if it was the intimidating height, the dark brown skin, or Vic's commanding presence. But before long, we were at her mother's side.

"Baby girl, there you are."

"Hi Ma. You remember Raynata West, right?"

"Yes, of course. Your friend from high school. How are you Raynata?"

"I'm great Mrs. Saunders."

"That's Mayor Saunders." Someone standing to my right reminded me.

"Shut up Chris," Vic answered on my behalf.

I smiled at Vic's reply.

"Baby, your father will be home this weekend. You're coming for dinner on Sunday, right?"

"Yeah Ma."

"Bring Raynata, okay?"

And with that, she was devoured by the crowd again. Dinner with Vic's parents? I couldn't even imagine it. I would find a way to bow out gracefully.

There was music, great food and lots of champagne...but by 10pm I was ready to leave. I had bumped into a few more "friends" from my school days. But we ran out of things to talk about when it became apparent that after they finished telling me about their lives, I wasn't willing to reciprocate. As promised, Vic stayed by my side for most of the night. The few times she disappeared, she always returned with a fresh glass of champagne or a plate of hors d'oeuvres for me. She seemed to be quite in tune with me, even realizing when I was ready to leave. A little before 10, she asked if I was ready to go.

"God yes. I just need to use the bathroom first."

So she led me in that direction and let me enter alone. I didn't really need to use the bathroom. I just wanted to catch my breath, which I did. Then I washed my hands, dabbed at my face with one of the heated, damp pristine white cloths on the counter, freshened up my lipstick and went to rejoin Vic. Except Vic wasn't waiting for me. The man standing right outside the ladies room wasn't as tall as Vic, and he was white with a ruddy complexion. He looked vaguely familiar and I assumed I had been introduced to him earlier.

"Hi," I offered with a polite smile.

"Hi...uh...it's Candy, right?"

My stomach plummeted as my smile faded. So that's where I knew him from. I looked around for Vic, but didn't see her.

"Uh, excuse me? I don't think—"

"I wouldn't forget a mouth like yours, honey. Brooklyn, right? It's been a while, but I recognize you, even without the blonde wig."

I didn't know what to do or say. I found my shock and embarrassment fading away and my anger rising. This wasn't the time or the place, and he fucking knew it. I wouldn't let him do this to me. Not here, not now.

"What do you want?" I asked softly, anger just beneath the surface of my words.

"I just want to know when I can see you," he reached out and cupped my breast. I pushed his hand away.

"I don't do that anymore."

"Oh please. I heard you're working at Target. I thought that was just a cover. You can't be serious."

"I'm not in the life anymore, so fuck off." I snapped.

This time he grabbed my chin, hard, between his thumb and forefinger. I tried to pull away, but he was stronger than he looked.

"Who the hell do you think you're talking to like that? I know who you are," he breathed into my face, his breath hot and smelling of alcohol. "And you can't seriously think I'm going to let this mouth, this talented little mouth, retire, can you? It would be a disservice to the men of America."

"Take your fucking hands off me," I demanded, trying to hold back tears. I didn't need this. No one would beat me if I refused. He couldn't take it from me because I feared the repercussions. Not this time. Never again.

"You heard her, Dan."

Vic's raspy voice startled him and he let me go, taking two steps back. He turned to face her.

"Hey Vic. I was just asking the pretty lady for a date." He smiled awkwardly. It was interesting to watch him, no longer filled with bravado. He was actually nervous now and I wondered why.

"She said fuck off."

"Right. Of course. I'll see you later."

I wasn't sure if he meant me or Vic, but he dashed off so quickly it's not like I could ask. I closed my eyes for a moment, trying to swallow down my anger...and my shame. I didn't want Vic to remember she was dating a whore. I wanted her to just think about Rayn. The person I'd been in high school. The person I was trying to become now. But that idiot had ruined the illusion. I should have known I couldn't escape my past. Not this quickly. What was I doing at a ball with this woman anyway? This woman whose family members were wealthy, respected politicians? I kept trying to swallow down my feelings, but I couldn't. I was trembling, probably visibly, and I couldn't compel myself to open my eyes. I had no idea what Vic was thinking...and I was scared to see the look in her eyes. I didn't know if her eyes would suggest she remembered who I was. I didn't know if her eyes would suggest she wanted nothing to do with me.

"You okay?" She asked softly.

I could feel that she'd moved closer to me, but she didn't touch me. I suddenly missed the feel of her hand at the small of my back. Still, I managed to nod. When I finally opened my eyes, I cast them down toward her shoes.

"Can we just go?"

"Yeah, of course."

She still took the lead, but once again I noticed that her hand was no longer at the small of my back. I didn't blame her. I wouldn't want to touch someone like me either. I really just wanted to crawl into my darkened corner of the world, my parents' basement, pull the comforter over my head, and die. But I still had to get out of this place and I still had to deal with the ride home.

She was thoughtful enough to lead me to a side door so that I didn't have to speak with anyone else. I was grateful for that. I couldn't bear to pretend that I was normal a moment longer. I wasn't normal. I wasn't like these people. It didn't matter how long I lived in my parents' house, how long I worked a "normal" job, or whether or not I took college classes. I would never, ever be normal again.

She called the driver, I assumed, on her cell phone, and then quietly led me toward a deserted street. We stood there in silence for a few minutes, waiting.

"I'm so sorry, Rayn...I should never have left you—...I'm sorry. I fucked up."

I closed my eyes again, trying to understand her words. Why was she apologizing to me? I'm the one who had ruined everything. She had been nice enough to take a prostitute to the mayor's ball, and I couldn't escape my past long enough to get through one fucking party.

The Mercedes SUV appeared suddenly, so I didn't have to say anything. She opened the door for me and I kept my eyes down as I slid inside. We were driving through the empty streets moments later. Unlike New York, Stroudsburg shut down pretty early, especially on a weeknight. We sat beside each other, each looking out of our respective windows. I wanted to say something, to tell her this was not her fault, it was my fault, but the words wouldn't come. Instead, I just sat there, in silence, for the duration of the ride to my house. Once there, I quickly moved to leave the vehicle, but she grabbed my arm, gently staying me.

"I'm really sorry. I didn't mean for that to happen."

"Stop." The word finally left my lips, although it sounded more like a whisper than anything else. I swallowed, licking my lips. "I don't understand why you're apologizing to me. I'm the one—...I'm the prostitute. I humiliated you. Tarnished your reputation. I—"

"No. You stop. It's not like that Rayn."

I shook my head, not listening to her. "It is like that. He'll tell everyone. Everyone will know you were with a whore—...they'll know what I was doing in New York, who I really am—"

"Shhhh," she placed a finger over my lips to quiet me. "Listen to me. That little fuck won't tell anyone. There's only one way he would know who you are...and believe me when I say he doesn't want that to get out."

I stopped shaking my head as her words set in. Of course. How else would he know I was a prostitute in Brooklyn unless he'd been with me? I released the breath I held, feeling a little relieved that at least he would not bad mouth Vic around town. I moved to leave the car again, but she stopped me from exiting once more.

"When can I see you again?" She asked.

This time I turned to look at her like she was crazy. Maybe she was crazy.

"Vic, this was a mistake, can't you see that? I don't live in your world! I don't go to fancy parties! I used to suck dicks for a living for God's sake!"

Vic waited until I ran out of air before she responded.

"You know what I remember about you?" She started softly. "I remember how you looked that day, standing in the rain, your hair slicked down, your clothes all wet...you looked like a little half-drowned kitten." She chuckled to herself.

For a moment I thought she'd lost her mind.

"And you were so scared to get in my car. As if...I don't know. Like you were worried about getting it dirty, or wet, or whatever." She paused, calling up the memory. "I didn't care. I knew who you were. Top of your math class, honor student...but a loner. An outsider. Kinda like me." This time when she paused, she licked her lips, like she was a little nervous about what she was going to say next. "I was so attracted to you." She admitted softly.

I wasn't sure if I had heard her correctly. She was attracted to me? I thought I'd been the only one with the huge crush.

"I had planned to ask you out. Was working up the nerve to ask you...but then you disappeared. Next time I saw you, we were in a hotel room and I was trying not to jump you because I was really tired and I needed to give a presentation in the morning." She chuckled again. "And that was before I realized who you were."

I didn't say anything. Couldn't. I had no idea what I should say.

She licked her lips again, still a little nervous. "Look, I'm sorry about Dan. Just...just give me another chance. We'll go anywhere you like. Some place private. No worries that way, okay?"

I was still too stunned to reply.

"Okay?" She asked again.

I nodded. I had to if I ever planned to crawl beneath my comforter and hide for the rest of my life. I tried for a third time to leave the car, but she stopped me again.

This time there were no words. She simply pulled me toward her and pressed her lips to mine. It was a tender kiss. Gentle, slightly inquisitive...sweet...and my heart flip flopped like I was still in high school. There was a rule when you were in "the life," no kissing. So, to have someone touch me in such an intimate way after so long...I knew I wouldn't forget it for a long time.

This time when I moved to leave, she let me. I was relieved, hurrying into the house and making my way down to the basement before the Mercedes even pulled away from the curb.

Things were back to normal the next evening. I was at work, in my freshly washed and ironed red polo shirt and tan khakis. My face was scrubbed clean of the tasteful make up, the dress was hanging up in one of the closets in the house, unbeknownst to my mother, and I was reloading the popcorn machine. It was like the night before had never happened...except that I was just a little more withdrawn than usual tonight, fearing that Dan had told every male in town and I would soon have a long line of customers requesting things other than what was listed on Target's menu. But that was not the only exception. I also couldn't erase the feel of those soft lips pressed against mine just moments before I left the Mercedes. That sensation had stayed with me most of the night, chasing me into sleep and encouraging me to dream about a certain six foot woman that I was probably better off not seeing again. But just because I knew that I should avoid her, didn't mean I would follow that logic. In fact, I was already looking forward to our next date.

It was around 5pm and I was sitting behind the counter, shielded partially by the huge popcorn machine and reading my latest trashy novel, when someone cleared his throat. I looked up and felt panic for a moment. Ruddy complexioned Dan stood facing me...except he looked more uncomfortable than I felt. I raised a brow.

"What do you want?"

He cleared his throat again before speaking. "Uh...look, I was an ass last night. I was drunk. I sincerely apologize, okay? I didn't mean any harm and it won't happen again. And I won't tell anyone, I promise. Okay?"

Dumbfounded was not a strong enough word for what I was at that moment. What the hell was going on? Why was he apologizing to me? I was too shocked to say anything.

"We okay?" He pleaded.

I simply nodded, unable to think of any words to respond to this insanity.

"Good, good. Uh, I'll have a coke."

I moved to get it for him, happy to do something normal. I handed it to him and he gave me a fifty. I tried to hand him his change, but he waved it away.

"No, no, keep it."

"I'm not allowed to accept tips," I told him.

He smiled awkwardly, "well, I won't say anything if you don't." He paused for a moment, licking his lips nervously. "Uh...so you'll tell Vic I stopped by, right?"

"Vic?" I repeated like an idiot. Why the hell would I tell Vic he stopped by?

"Yeah, Vic. Don't forget, okay?"

And he was gone.

So much for a normal day.

Luckily that was the only strange thing that happened at work. I was curled up in bed around midnight, about to settle in to watch Terminator Salvation, when my rarely used cell phone rang. I'd only given one person the number, so I didn't have to check the caller ID screen to know who was calling.

"Come have a drink with me."

I sighed, smiling, "I'm already in bed. Don't real estate agents have to work on Saturdays? It's after midnight."

"Well, what are you doing in bed?" Vic asked.

"Watching a movie."

"Sounds boring," she teased.

"It's a good movie and I'm tired. I had a very interesting week."

"Interesting bad or interesting good?"

"Both," I assured her.

She was silent for a moment, "okay. That's cool. So, can I come join you? Watch the movie with you?"

"Uh," I hesitated. I wasn't sure I wanted anyone, much less her, in my little dungeon. And the screen on my DVD player was only 7 inches wide.

"I'm not expecting sex or anything like that," she clarified.

I hadn't thought of that, but it was probably good she cleared that up. I was tempted to say no, but changed my mind at the last second.

"Sure."

"Cool."

"How long before—"

But I already heard a knock on the front door of the house. I rushed out of bed, but I heard the door open before I was halfway up the stairs.

"Hello Mrs. West. I'm here to see Rayn."

"Who?" My mother answered coolly. She'd always hated that nickname.

"Sorry, Raynata." Vic corrected, unruffled by my mother's hostility.

"It's late, Victoria."

"Mom," I snapped. Had she forgotten I was not 15? A second passed before my mother stepped aside and allowed Vic to enter. I was standing near the basement door and waved Vic over. I saw my mother watching as we began to descend the stairs. I closed the door behind me.

Vic moved aside on the stairs, allowing me to go first. I lead her past the washer and dryer and into my little corner of the world. I'd added a colorful rug and a few more lamps (all plugged into the same surge protector so I could shut them all off at the same time), but it was still a pretty grim "bedroom." Vic didn't say a word, removing her leather jacket. It was silky smooth to the touch and I hung it carefully on a hook, assuming it was expensive. She looked around, noticing the piles and piles of books everywhere. She reached down to retrieve my study guide for the GED, raising a brow.

"I figured why not," I offered, embarrassed.

Next she picked up the catalog for Monroe Community College, but I just shrugged when she looked at me. She continued to look around and I took the time to look her over. She was dressed in a pair of loose fitting jeans, Nike sneakers and a Harvard tee-shirt. Had she gone to Harvard? Jeez. She must think me absurd on some level, with my pitiful basement bedroom and my attempts to get a GED. I sighed, wondering for the hundredth time what she was doing here with me. Oh, that reminded me.