All Comments on 'The Busty Babysitter'

by sethp

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  • 313 Comments (Page 2)
AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Love what there is of this story. Would love to know what happened before the last two sentences.

ca_daveca_daveover 2 years ago

Anonymous you sit there spewing femistist. hogwash it's OK because you can spew your hate and disappear into the shadows. Not once did you offer legitment feedback. Noone forced you to read this. if It offend you tough shit. If you want to post become a member. That way we can see you name and save time.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Hot, to the point & sweet.

Too bad there was no wrap up in an ending

Went from a full 5 to a 4 due to that lack.

And I’m far from the minority in my opinion.

It seems to be an endemic fault in Literotica authors.

Bill S.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

@anonymous FemiNazi Ooo...methinks thou dost protest too much. My guess is that you walked in on your husband banging a 20 year old beauty and you are now pissed at the world. Too bad princess as it's obvious by your rant that you are a COLD FISH that probably locked down your pussy tighter than fort knox after having a kid.

I know all too many women like you bitch! All too warm and cuddly when YOU want something. Then you blame the guy for everything that has not met your expectations in life. So Fuck YOU and all the other women out there exactly like you.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

@anonymous with the feminazi rant - FUCK OFF. You leftist, identity politics mongering, useless eater fuckwits have filled every corner of our public discourse trying to make the rest of us as miserable, as your unproductive, worthless selves. All your kind care about is whining until you get other peoples shit without putting any real work in. What others like and enjoy is THEIR BUSINESS and THEIR CHOICE. You don’t get to decide what’s right and what’s wrong for others. Especially when all your ideas are wrong.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

@Anonmymous. This isn't a blog site. This isn't a TED talk. It's an erotica site. It has fantasies, which don't have to be realistic. If a particular fantasy isn't your cup of tea, fine. But don't act like you're better than everyone and try to kink shame. You're the one who clicked on the story

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

+200 comments makes it even more pathetic. But this is probably the crap that people search on this channel. Big breasted teenagers compliant and servile towards the old dick daddy, ready to fulfill all their physical and emotional needs that a wife cannot, as well as cook for him and go further in the manipulation.... THIS WAS JUST HORRIBLE. But the more horrible is the pack of comments saying how dreamy beautiful etc. then fate in humanity decreases exponentially. Probably this is what the average men out there dream and want. Tits. Enormous fat tits. The bigger the best sex is, the biggest the more desirable, the more treasurable, the younger and thinner the woman, then perfection! Sorry but this story was so compliant with all the lowest cliches in the lowest of the lowest level of intelligence and originality, that struck a cord with me. Girls like Rachel are little sneaky manipulative bastards, man like John are the never-grown-up mama child who feels all shaky on heels in life, women like Kathy as cold hearted as she is exists but there's a background to them, I'm talking about real life. But here people want the fairytale full of creepiness about how massive how amazing how wonderfully huge.. damn they must have some gravitation force going on for being as massive.. CONGRATS people!! Your dream will become true! soon on earth there's gonna be just Big Fat Titted women, the other ones will go extinct. I guess they are already a minority, just compare the #smallbreasts tag in this site. For obvious reason so to say: they don't deserve any love or sex or being mothers. (I expect the jerk comment that since they are no fun whatsoever then better they go, and that I'm a bitter bitch)

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Is it me or does this read like a fairy tale sorta like snow white or something

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Love the story, would love to see an additional chapter, where the Babysitters teaches the wife a lesson and turns her into a cuckqueen, for the younger hotter babysitter!

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

John - Adam Driver

Rachel - Kat Dennings

Wendy - Joan Allen

Kathy - Marjorie Taylor-Greene

Purple_Squirrel19Purple_Squirrel19over 2 years ago

I'm sure the wife had someone on the side as well. The cold behavior and the encouragement she showed towards the babysitter spending the night showed it. Unless the sitter was lying. Still I'm pretty sure the wife was banging someone on the side too.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Good story. Kathy was a POS, and probably a whore and Rachel was really his wife, because she loved him, his children and wanted baby batter to make more. She also made a house, a home and to take care of her family. HIS REAL WIFE!

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

So sucking fucking hot. More and more like this. Cunt crazed fucker Lanc’s UK.

dirtyoldbimandirtyoldbimanover 2 years ago

great except the ending should stayed marred, have Rachael move into the master bedroom, wife into guest room. LOL

mrdata9770mrdata9770over 2 years ago

(11/6/2021)” "Please," John and Rachel said in unison. Wendy did. John and his Busty little babysitter made babies and lived happily ever after.” Really!! That’s a hellova forced ending. What, did your girlfriend just walk into the room nude holding a tube of booty lube? Five stars from me anyway.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

ahhhhhhhhhhhhahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh fuck me daddyyyy

SoftRichardSoftRichardover 2 years ago

Crap. Drop the Police lyric and the “Office Space” reference, they take you right out of the story. As othersb have said the ending was rushed, and way too clean and simple.

dgfergiedgfergieover 2 years ago

Very good even the second or was it third time around. We all need someone to love us. After my ex left me with the kids I found the right one, and it lasted 40 years.

SteveL410SteveL410over 2 years ago

This was hot, but the sudden ending left much to be desired.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

absolutely delicious!

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Great story, good character development, the sex was well done, the ending a bit abrupt. Maybe another 250 words to close it out properly?

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Probably his slut wife was getting some on the side. In the short time Rachel and John were together she proved she's his real wife. She cooked and took care of the kids (hers now, or will be soon), just like any loving wife and mother. The whore they call mommy, js just that, a whore.Rachel needs new babies with her husband, John... Needs a part 2, when the kids call Rachel mommy, in front of Kathy the whore...

La9uNIp164ZeziROPUJWLa9uNIp164ZeziROPUJWover 2 years ago

But, “Dumb and Dumber” is the comedy of choice!? Easily 10 more romantic comedies he could have picked to _accidentally_ set the mood.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

She babysat for them since she was 15, better to make her older and out of school so it’s not so creepy.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago

it certainly is the consummate daydream...<smile> Some of the dialogue doesn't quite ring true...and the cliché in the plot overwhelms the logic.

MartyMBMartyMBalmost 3 years ago

Actually, I'd rewrite the last sentence. It is quite sarcastic (snarky?) and doesn't follow the rest of the story.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago

Love it I love the music references and seriously opera vs foo fighters they are epic. Def tones too. I love the inner battle and the way he took control at the end. It also explains what happens to marriages and gave me a ton of insight on a mans head thanks

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago

good especialy the blowjobs

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago

My babysitter story is a bit different. You see, I had sex with my babysitter, but not how you think. She actually was my babysitter. Well, she was hired to watch the house and my younger sister while our parents were in Europe. I was only three years younger than her so technically she wasn’t my babysitter, but my sisters. For the whole month my patents were gone I got to fuck that sexy eighteen year old red headed goddess. Parents returned and I never saw her again.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago

I've just read a number of comments saying how you 'should' change the story.

The story does not need changing. It's a rare find, stands out from the others. It's so (almost) innocent and realistic.

I'd love to see more like this! I'll keep an eye out in case you have any more :)

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago

Well written, entertaining, sexy almost the whole way through.

A few off-putting moments when talking about how awful his wife is, however it does add to the depth of the story.

Good babysitter stories are SOOOOO hard to find!!! I love this one - have read it multiple times.

Thankyou

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago

My Buddy got caught with his Babysitter and She made him buy her a New Lincoln . Plus a new 2 kt. Diamond ring . It cost him over 50 thou .. If He cheats again She said it would cost him 100 thou Plus Child Support and wife support . He was worth over half a million now I think He is closer to a Quarter of a million

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago

I'm just asking, are you aware that this story is posted in wattpad?

chytownchytownalmost 3 years ago

***Thanks for the read.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago

Great story, very hot. I've cum buckets reading it over and over.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 3 years ago

The guy is a cheating bastard. He could still cheat on the babysitter. Amazing how men judge women so readily in stories for cheating... but for guys its wonderful and the wife’s fault. Amazing how many have assumed that Kathy was cheating. Men and their stupid sexual double standards!

chairfanchairfanabout 3 years ago

I wish the epilogue was just a bit longer, but overall the story was pretty sweet.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 3 years ago

Rachel may be very young, but she proved she loves John and the kids. That time together proved she really is his WIFE and lady of the house. She has proven she loves the children, is a good mother. Being an excellent cook, they really are a family, and when she nurses their new abies, she may feed her new husband, too! Kathy is a cold POS and probably a whore with some stud too...

AnonymousAnonymousover 3 years ago

After some thought I have this one of my 5 star ratings.

The last sentence made the fifth star. So many authors never finish a story, they just stop.

Now I’d really like another chapter or even a part two. There’s got to be a story about the wife. Even I could write one with this great back story to follow.

Nicely done.

Bill

PapaGolf414PapaGolf414over 3 years ago
Nice Little Story

Enjoyed your little story, particularly its happy ending. Thanx for the Read.

Omart57Omart57over 3 years ago
My first time

reading this one, sethp. Great story!

meowsiesmeowsiesover 3 years ago

awwwwwwwwww

i didn't know it before, but I LIVE FOR THIS

AnonymousAnonymousover 3 years ago

Personally I like it but it needed to be longer it felt rushed as she basically rapes her client I'd like to see this redone and extended to show more bonding between the babysitter and the father and instead of his sister coming over just make it his wife and call it good there and add another chapter after they move into their own house.... or even better have him go and check on his wife and have him catch her cheating and give him a better reason to do it himself

AnonymousAnonymousover 3 years ago
Exactly what I come here for!

I loved this story. How anyone can complain about realism on a site that has fictional stories on it is so beyond me. If you want realism then go read a biography but if you want well written stories from authors with talent and imagination while still allowing you to read the works that they put a lot of time and effort into, you have one right here.

I personally want to thank you for this story and all your others that you create and allow me the pleasure of enjoying them.

TJ

KristaMoraneKristaMoraneover 3 years ago
Hot and Sexy though pretty unlikely *****

I know it's fiction! Yes, I know. Just sayin...

But, how many 18 year olds have I met who would act this way? NONE OK, that being said it was funny, sexy, and a great read. I have my own babysitter story with a few parallels.

Kathy is obviously having an affair herself unless she has emotional problems as well. There is no other explanation for her behavior.

Also, agree with comments about big tits and mentioning it over and over. It's distracting and just not necessary. Besides, tiny tits are terrific. Anything more than a handful is just extra fat. "A Bra is just a Fashion Accessory"

fellatriciafellatriciaover 3 years ago
eerste klasse

only one word - Wonderful

AnonymousAnonymousover 3 years ago
Great!

I really liked the story! Bits of realism, mixed with some lovely fantasy and playful babysitter equals to a great experience AND warm feeling at the end, something I rarely get from reading any story. Thank you for providing that experience. ^^

One small thing, though - I don't think this story belongs in non-consensual category. Romance would probably suit it better. Just my opinion.

BajeroBajeroalmost 4 years ago

My goodness, people; GET A LIFE! This is a work of fiction [I assume]. This website is for entertainment. If you're not entertained, move on. Go read something you don't have to criticize and complain about. It amazes me that anyone wants to read Literotica and fantasize that he/she is qualified to be a critic for the New York Times bestseller list. Give it a rest.

This is a fun read. I've had babysitters that flirted and elicited a response. None ever consummated the relationship as Rachel did. I had fantasies but never progressed beyond imaginings. So thank you, Seth, for this diversion. Do it again.

jonnydoughjonnydoughalmost 4 years ago

My favorite part are the comments. People read free erotic fiction then gripe because it's unrealistic... Good story. It is as realistic as the Pretty Woman movie which made millions. Strange how when the guy comes out better on the end it's unrealistic....

animal99animal99almost 4 years ago

Jbdeep-

AS i read the story, it was the husband who was reluctant partner and he also never gave consent to the oral sex (Blow job) the babysitter gave him. But it was still a good story, although implausible, as someone pointed out about divorce laws in the U.S. of A.

jbdeepjbdeepalmost 4 years ago
Nice story wrong category

I liked the story. I think the sister part was a little rushed, either she’s all in or all out, but if she was furious she accepted way to quick. However, there is no nonconsent or reluctance in the story.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 4 years ago

Just nice - start again happy

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 4 years ago
I liked the ending (I know I'm the only one)

The ending was good because it let the story remain a fantasy. In the real world, divorce court would destroy John. Rachel isn't a virgin and would be portrayed as a slut who he slept with. Men lose in divorce even when they are innocent. In this case, John is the actual cheater. He would lose the house but also his life savings AND THE KIDS. His wife may be a bitch, but the story really didn't give any indication that she was a bad mother or disliked them other than John saying it. She would get the kids plus large child support payments. If she is the bitch others seem to think, she would take the kids just to milk John for the child support. Actually there is no indication that John has any relationship with his kids - let alone a better one than his wife. Rachel's parents would go ballistic, and Rachel would be in the middle. Not good for the long term of hers and John's future marriage. A few others have noted that Rachel is very domineering to John - though in a sweet way. Will the sweetness continue when most of the money is going to the ex, Kathy? Finally, it might be fun for Rachel to play house for a few hours or days with John's kids and get her lights fucked out, but will she stay sweet when the chores become day to day and non-stop. Also, we know Rachel loves sex so will she find it elsewhere in the future. A young woman who has no qualms about fucking another woman's husband - especially one that isn't coming on to her - isn't likely to care about limiting her own sexual impulses to HER own marital bed.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 4 years ago
That’s hot

That was extremely hot, and although I did notice a few spell it and punctuation errors, the stir grabbed me.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 4 years ago
The busty baby sitter

An excellent story. There needs to be a part one, two three and more. A very well constructed story with so much potential. I implore you to be writing some more parts to this, please.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 4 years ago
One of my first

So, this was one of the first stories I read of literotica a while back, and really got me hooked. Extremely well written, and struck a cord with me. As for an idea for a follow up, Rachel is in high school. She should have a bestie or two who come with her, and who want to cum with her!

HaythamKenwayHaythamKenwayabout 4 years ago
Good job

I really loved the story and I really mean it.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 4 years ago
grendel6678

I agree that their should be a sequel ...with incest ... at a minimum he should fuck his sister ,,, and either his new fiancees younger sister or mother ... or both ... whatever turns you on the most ... the babysitter will be massively supportive of whatever he does :D

Technopirate068Technopirate068about 4 years ago
So Good But Much Too Short

I would love to see a sequel. The young babysitter seems like the perfect women, busty, affectionate and supportive. How could the dad character not fall for her.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 4 years ago
a true beauty

I can't tell you how many times I've come back to this story, it's just THAT beautiful. I've begun my own story, and after coming back to this, I really hope mine ends up as sweet as this one! Granted, it's more eventual fluff than lemon, but still.

misterjack888misterjack888about 4 years ago
cool

wow! mighty cool. and yes, life can be that simple

Really liked it. sweet babysitter, guy who finally put his pants on and best of all, children who finally got a full time mother who loved them

Jack

AnonymousAnonymousabout 4 years ago
i am so happt

a really really good read loved it im so wet my crotch of my thong

AnonymousAnonymousover 4 years ago
Needs a few more chapters, please

Kathy clearly is a POS. She thinks of nobody but herself. It would be interesting to find out what happens with the kids and if Kathy was running around, and if she got what's coming to her...

AnonymousAnonymousover 4 years ago
So good

Omg please write more of this 🤤

AnonymousAnonymousover 4 years ago
Still a great story!

This is my second or third time stumbling upon this story, and it’s still a great read. It does beg for more chapters, but overall I loved the buildup. It also reminds me of my past fantasies over a very busty babysitter we had a few decades ago, man was she ever hot! She also liked to flirt with me too. Never took her up on it, but damn she was good fantasy material for sure.

AnonymousAnonymousover 4 years ago
Continue please

Toon good a story to end with that copout of an ending. End it right with another chapter or two.

AnonymousAnonymousover 4 years ago
The ending ...

In order to accept his statement that Kathy doesn't even like her kids ... just show me. Without seeing her treating the kids badly, or very clearly putting her own selfish wants above them, I can't quite imagine it. Here's an easy one - the kids missed her, and she wasn't even bothering to call to say goodnight to them.

The icing on that would be if he had innocently found out that Kathy's sister's surgery was a lie, and she was off fucking some asshole she found on the 'net.

Stories are always so much better if your readers get to know the characters, and care what they do.

DeliciousDreamsDeliciousDreamsalmost 5 years ago
A wonderful Fantasy

Loved this story. It's really a wonderful Fantasy for middle aged men, (married with children) and it even ended like a fairy tale. After all, isn't that what fantasies are? Adult fairy tales? Simplistic, Yes. But wonderful all the same! Would love to read more of John and his busty little Babysitter, Rachel.

linnearlinnearalmost 5 years ago
Love It

Simple and right to it. I also think the ending with Kathy could have been much better.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 5 years ago
Fix the ending

Loved the story, but as previously noted the ending needs some work. It's too tidy. Please write a pt. 2. Thanks. .

AnonymousAnonymousover 5 years ago
Attraction

Seems normal attraction, but children are God's gift anything done in their favour is welcome the most.

LrseFaucLrseFaucalmost 6 years ago
I like the end

It's like a fairy tale and it really made me smile. Thanks a lot!

jonyoungaujonyoungaualmost 6 years ago

It would be interesting to read kathys side of this story from her perspective as a story if written

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 6 years ago

The story is a standout only in how weak it’s ending is. Nothing else is noteworthy except perhaps how many comments and views it has for its otherwise unremarkable content.

But thanks for the effort.

Bound2BtakenBound2Btakenalmost 6 years ago
Good Story

I've read this several times and will read it again.

Whilst the ending does oversimplify the break up, divorce and setting up a new and happier home; I'm hoping that this will be addressed in a continuation of this absorbing tale.

Please write more!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 6 years ago
His sister

Did his sister ever join them in bed

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 6 years ago
John was So lucky

Why was his lovely and busty, young babysitter in love with him an his kids? How was she so perfect for him (I know, erotic fantasy,...), but I would love to have some background to justify her obsession with an older, married man, and will John's paradise last as the young lady matures. Why does she think he is perfect for her? I did enjoy your tale ( I'm jealous of John's fantastic fantasy come true), and I am now checking out more of your work, thank you!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 6 years ago
Review

Where's the rest of the ending?

It was cut tooooooooo short and abruptly, we need more chapters, please work on it more,

How did the move go?

How did the divorce go?

How did the wedding go?

How did the honeymoon go?

Then there's the living together, was there any more babies?

How many more questions need answering to get a great storyline?

But so far what as been written is very good, I've enjoyed it up till the stupid ending.

lwiltonlwiltonabout 6 years ago
A really nice warm fairy tale

Despite the semi-negative comments about the story ending abruptly or being too short, I thought it was a perfect place to end the story. Could there be a second verse? Of course, but it would be a completely different story that had two characters with the same names, but the situation would be so different that they would be different people. There really isn't any need for a follow-on.

Certainly the busty and loving baby sitter is a cliche. But that is how you write something like a morality play, using characters that speak to the imagination. Could the baby sitter be flat chested, buck toothed, ugly, and with glasses? Well sure. But this way was more fun. And porn (or at least the kind I like) is all about fun for all concerned. (And no, the wife wasn't concerned. She made that pretty obvious.) (Besides, she can always go to the opera when she needs fun.)

AnonymousAnonymousabout 6 years ago
Nice one

Good old fashioned communication would save a lot of people in marriages this kind of trouble. Why did kathy wait for the kids to be born then hide her disdain for them by suggesting a baby sitter? I just don't get how people who are married would hide such feelings from each other?

AnonymousAnonymousabout 6 years ago
pretty good

The ending was a bit abrupt but was overall a good story you could easily jack off to this. Pleas make more.S.S

Sir GalahadSir Galahadabout 6 years ago
Great story until the ending

I agree with those who say the ending was abrupt. Call the frigid cow, tell her it's over and he is leaving with the kids? Great! Rent a place and move everyone into it? Fine. But just chop the story line off and end it with "and they all lived happily ever after?" BOOO!

You need to insert about one page between John and Rachel moving into the townhouse and that happily-ever-after. One quick sex scene. Kathy shows up on the doorstep to tell him off and gets told off instead, with her having the deer-in-the-headlights look as Rachel frenches John in front of her and closes the door in her face. Scene in chambers with Kathy and her lover the lawyer vs John and his Great White Shark divorce lawyer and the judge. (I think it would work better if Kathy turns out to be a dyke and her lawyer lover a nance, but that is an opinion only.) Shock on Kathy's side of the table as judge decrees terms, with Kathy keeping the house, furnishings, and her car, but John getting most of the other assets AND Kathy not getting visitation plus having to pay John alimony until he remarries and child support until kids turn 18, and then half of all college expenses. Give Rachel a small, quiet wedding with Wendy as maid of honor, then hot sweaty monkey sex wedding night with Wendy taking the kids on a trip to Disneyworld for a week. From there, jump forward six months or a year with Rachel announcing she is pregnant with their baby. One more sex scene, this one joyous. THEN drop in that line about "and they all lived happily ever after." FInis.

That would work to wind it up neatly. You could do it as a sequel by starting it with John and Rachel in bed just after sex, snuggling, have Rachel chuckle and him ask what is so funny. She says, "I was just thinking about our first week in the townhouse," and then you tell the rest as I suggested in flashback. You can decide if Rachel tells John he's knocked her up again or not. I suggest not, but they are your characters.

You really do need to tie this story up properly to please your readers.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 6 years ago
A changed wife

After she turned from being the Cornerstone of the Marriage into the Stumbling block the children were at risk. The young woman who came in, maybe for fun at first, realized she had been pinned to the marital bed like a butterfly. It only took a part of one night.

May she maintain her happy bright colors for decades.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 6 years ago
Like it or Could be different

Baby sitters who are sexy and young is a little cliche - how about a girl with glasseS, flat chested but a great person? Someone who didn’t need to flaunt but got the man?

I feel sorry for the Wife - no matter how bad she is, she didn’t deserve her husband shagging the help.

c4vetteman94c4vetteman94about 6 years ago
Good story

I wish their were more stories like this on here

wagonet2wagonet2over 6 years ago
Wendy

This was a magnificent cliched romance, but - this being Literotica - I thought sure that you would have had Wendy and Rachel team up on John for a threesome in the final scene, and they screwed happily ever after.

AnonymousAnonymousover 6 years ago
The only one who hated it

I must be the only one who hates this story.

A younger, prettier, bigger boobed version comes into his life to be a mummy not just to his kids, but him as well... a mummy who is also his fuck toy, who’ll kiss his boo boos and make it all better...

Sorry, but it was just too much of a gender-reverse Cinderella story for me...

(And no, I’m not a bitter, old, ex-wife, but the very loved-up half of an incredible May-December partnership - with a truck-loaf of kink)

I do feel mean for having said this, though - so I will say that it was genuinely well-written (until the quite abrupt ending)

AnonymousAnonymousover 6 years ago
Wow, what a ride!

Great story! The sister Wendy standing in the doorway watching them, slammed into my reading/experience so unexpectedly. It was shocking, for an instant, then I just busted up laughing. Can't really explain it. It was good tho...

I would like to have seen one more night (of great descriptive sex, titfuck, 69, doggy etc) and day, with Wendy there, fleshing out her positive interactions with Rachel and developing hunch/suspicion, but positive feelings about it...before the night she catches them in the act. (That could even be fleshed out a bit, no pun intended, with her getting aroused and pleasuring herself while watching them, then going back to her room when they're done, to finish herself off...

And I don't think the fridgid wife is having an affair. I don't think she's capable of that. She has just gone cold, deep in her soul...no heat or passion there...she doesn't know how to have fun, feel joy, or love...

MarsPatrolMarsPatrolover 6 years ago
Classic

This one's a Favorite of mine. I come back to it often. Thanks.

AnonymousAnonymousover 6 years ago
This is my life - for real!!

Nice story.. it actually is nearly like my own life, although my wife (as of 2 weeks ago) has small breasts. She was our live in nanny for 6 months. She is only 11 years younger but hot as hell! My wife didnt believe me when I told her I was leaving her for the babysitter.. well she does now!

MattKesterMattKesterover 6 years ago
Definitely a favorite

Even though I only gave this story four stars, I have also saved it as a favorite.

I would encourage some editing. I find errors in grammar distracting, but the power of the story still came through.

My only real complaint about the story is that there is very little background about the characters. Some of the description of the man's marital problems seemed painfully normal. However, as the reader, I imagined that they were pretty damn bad. To have problems that big, the end of the story just seemed to not quite fit. Why did the mom go to stay with her sister, for example? Yes, I can accept that she was ill, but perhaps it was abandonment as it may have appeared?

But again, this was more than balanced by the story of a girl who apparently saved him. She showed love toward the kids, toward dad, and toward family. She took over operation of the house very well and easily. Perhaps there was history here? After all, the story seemed to begin in the middle; after all, the family had used her as a baby sitter before.

And then... I always ask myself about age gaps: What about her parents? Do they bless the marriage? What issues might they have? Or do her dad and the main character get together occasionally for golf and they are more or less like brothers? Or perhaps there is acceptance of the "trophy wife" (a term I really don't like) in their town, and her marriage to him will improve her status?

As I said, I love this story, and I would love to see more. My message is to newer writers: Consider your story. Treat your characters with love. What brought them to this point? What are their motivations? Where to you want them to go together?

Even if these things are not part of the main story, it's good to know the answers so that you don't leave your reader hanging.

AnonymousAnonymousover 6 years ago
Great story

Title says it all. I loved it, although I'm just not into this kind of stories... Anyway, loved it. :)

MartyMBMartyMBover 6 years ago
That's it? That's the ending?

"John and his Busty little baby sitter made babies and lived happily ever after."

Sheesh, talk about just giving up writing. Pretty good before that, but then you just got tired of putting effort into it.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 7 years ago
Well done

It was a little simple but it was nice, I enjoyed it. I'd say you might want to add a little more details but I liked the story arc and the details you did provide painted a good emotional picture. Well done

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 7 years ago
What is this obsesssion with tits?

What is this obsesssion with tits?

nudevespersnudevespersalmost 7 years ago
Enjoyable

I liked the writing and the character driven focus. The ending was a bit fanciful... but that's what we're here for! Also I like that the resolution wasn't just "he has an affair" but that he improves his life in the process, as well as the lives of his children. I'd be interested in learning more about some of Rachel's motivations and why she made the choices but it isn't necessary for the story.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 7 years ago
Anonymous

Craziest story I have ever read

Absolutely awesome

Milkygodess96Milkygodess96about 7 years ago

This story has me so turned on , what a lucky little slut.. ;) wish that were me !

AnonymousAnonymousabout 7 years ago
Me Thinks

Me thinks his wife had a lover either male or female and that is why she was so cold to him and it may have been one of her Opra friends. I also think that she did not think that he measure up to them. Rachel just loved him and the kids. A very good story not my first or last read.

Ron/ mcwhorter28445@gmail.com

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I need your feedback and story ideas! If you have feedback for one of my stories good or bad; I want to hear it! I also need your story ideas. It only takes one good Idea to create a great story! Thanks!