The Case of the Missing Boyfriend

"The truth about Charlie," thought Carney as he walked back to join his friend.

Once he arrived back at the table, Shendude was missing. A gigantic eight hundred forty pound Jamaican girl walked up to him.

"You must be Shendude," she said as she looked at the order form. "Hot dang! Lola's gonna be rich today."

"No. My friend is Shendude not me," Carney plead as he felt an iron grip around his waist.

He saw his friend hiding behind a skinny pole. "Shendude! Tell her who I am!" Carney screamed.

As several people looked at Shendude, he looked over at Lola dragging Carney away and said, "Later Shendude good buddy."

Carney was thrown upon a waterbed in one of the back rooms. He attempted to get up but a quick flip of Lola's hips and he was back down. Lola stripped off her clothes to reveal a pussy that went up to her neck, some four feet in length. The room was so small and there was very little room to get off the shaking waterbed. Carney had a frightened look on his face as the pussy lips opened and closed of their own accord. Lola laid down on one side of the waterbed and the resulting wave rapidly smashed Carney into the ceiling. As the wave subsided, Carney came back down somewhat stunned. Carney felt Lola's pussy rubbing against half his body. Suddenly, Carney's arm was trapped as the pussy lips sucked in more and more of Carney. Carney tried to flee but a giant arm held him down.

Outside, Darkbee had entered the Burger Brothel and was searching around, armed with a laser rifle emblazoned with the letter Z. Panic began to break out in the Burger Brothel.

At the same time, the assassin known as MJL walked in quite gingerly, still grabbing his ass. He had heard the commotion and pulled out his rifle.

At the first sign of trouble, Shendude tried to make it out, but in the panic, some extra spicy cum sauce hit him in the eyes and he became temporarily blind.

Everyone cleared out of the Burger Brothel save a blind Shendude as Darkbee checked the back rooms. She opened a door and saw Lola nude on the bed and smiled.

"Finally a pussy worthy of my cock," Darkbee said. With a click his large cock hit the ground. Snake like it slowly rose, moving in the direction of the pussy.

Carney, all scrunched up inside of Lola, saw the pussy lips start to part and a large cock move in his direction.

Chapter 4

Most of the news stations in galaxy were tuned in to a special press conference with the members of Led Zeppelin. Robert Plant looked over at Jimmy Page when several reporters asked about a possible reunion. Jimmy had a smile on his face that quickly turned to a sour look.

"Christ! What is that fuckin' smell?" Jimmy Page said as he looked over at Plant. "Did you plant one Plant?"

Plants mood looked somber. "Fuck you Troll Zoso!" Plant responded, giving Page the finger.

Plant dodged the neck of Page's guitar swing, but got hit with the second neck of the double necked guitar. John Paul and Bonham Jr. jump on Page who emitted a bone chilling sound.

"You broke my middle finger you bastards!" Jimmy screamed, as the band broke apart.

The news broke in to announce that a large smelly mushroom cloud had appeared at a high altitude directly above a certain Sex Doll Consignment Shop was to blame for the smell and police were checking to see if there was any connection. This news freed Robert Plant on bond from prison for fart crimes against humanity. The news also said that the fumes were of some unknown chemical origin and people should stay inside.

Meanwhile, light years away, Princess Rydia called over to her chief of staff.

"Princess Babygrrl and her pesky race of ingrown toenails have no doubt broken the truce with that stink bomb attack on Earth in order to disrupt the Led Zeppelin reunion. I order a full out assault. Assemble the Transvestites and bring me Babygrrl's pussy, wet or dry!"

Princess Rydia proposed a strategy, "Well send the fleet to these coordinates and have them jump to the left."

"The left?" asked one of her advisers.

"Yes. And than a step to the right…"

"That will confuse them for sure. Excellent strategy," responded the adviser.

While within a few short light years away...

"Princess Babygrrl, our spies have picked up a message that Princess Rydia is planning an assault. What shall we do?"

Princess Babygrrl, busy getting her one p.m. pussy suck had this to say.

"Send a message to Princess Rydia that I wish to have a sexual duel with her to decide our people's fates. Now leave me my people…no not you…keep the orgasms coming sweetypie."

Elsewhere, outside the Burger Brothel, a sexy female was running for her life. She ran into the nearby mall, headed straight up to the ladies lingerie section and right into the third dressing room on the left. As soon as she burst in she saw her best girlfriend in the middle of changing bras. Completely surprised, the two girls hugged.

"Charlie!" Ms.Read exclaimed.

"Oh Ms.Read. It was terrible. I was having lunch with Susan and some crazy Dutch girl or guy burst in with a gun. I thought only such things happened on Cartoon Network. I was so scared. My hearts beating like crazy."

"Oh don't worry Charlie. Just rest your head on my shoulders. You are my best friend after all," Ms.Read said as Charlie put her mouth on one of Ms.Read's exposed nipples.

Charlie suddenly felt faint and looked up at her girlfriend. "I think I drank too much water also. I may need mouth to mouuuutttthhhh…"

"CHARLIE!" screamed Ms.Read as her girlfriend slowly collapsed on the floor. She blew air into her best friends lungs and pushed on her heart, trying to bring her best friend back.

Charlie whispered the word "Tongue" and Ms.Read frantically French kissed Charlie.

"Don't die!" Ms.Read screamed as Charlie moved her hands ever so slightly.

Charlie whispered with closed eyes, "So cold. My hands are so cold. Need to feel warmth."

Ms.Read, thinking quickly that body heat is the answer, took off Charlie's clothes as well as her own and got on top of her friend. Charlie's hands found Ms.Read's pussy. To hold back her tears, Ms.Read continued to french kiss her girlfriend to save her from dying. The meshing of pussies drew a few little sparks.

After sometime, Charlie's eyes opened. "You've brought me back from the dead."

Ms.Read looked at her girlfriend. "I was so frightened. I knew that if I didn't do something fast, even if it meant having some intimate relations, I'd lose you."

The two girlfriends looked at each other as Charlie began to speak. "Look. I may be a girl and all but can't I give you more than any guy could? I mean aren't we best friends?"

Ms.Read blushed. "Of course Charlie, but you are a girl. A guy can do so many more things to me that you can't. I met this guy named Charlie. Hey! You both have the same name! I think you'd like him. He's performing at the Opera tomorrow. Are you going?"

Before Charlie could answer, a cloud of musty odor went through the mall and her face took on a sour look. "What is that fuckin' smell?"

At about the same time, a passing symbiotic meteorite family, having spent some good quality family time on the twirling ride located in Jupiter's eye, decided to take a big catapult slingshot ride around the Sun. However, a somewhat mischievous meteor child, made of some banned substance, decided to take a left turn at Mars which resulted in some crash, bang, boom, and ugh. Instead of bouncing back, he followed some fumes and landed on the planet Earth. Smashing straight through some building, unknown amounts of radioactivity poured out of him.

The building, in case you didn't guess it, was "Sex Doll Consignment Shop" and all the Sex dolls sprang back to life. Only now, they all seemed to be sex starved horny zombies.

Leaving the destroyed building, the undead found some guy named Jimmy and he got fucked before screaming out. The girls got him off/off him and he too became a sex starved horny zombie.

Jimmy's mom, who witnessed the whole thing shouted out, "I want a divorce you cheating son of mine!"

The two police officers from Shendude's pad saw the zombie army of nude chics and a guy and decided to start shooting at the guy. The girls held the police down as Jimmy gave each guy half a blowjob. The cops turned into zombies like Jimmy. Before midnight, the whole town had turned pretty much into zombies, save those glued to Ben 10 on Cartoon Network. The sex-starved horny zombies moved in on the Opera building.

Back at the Burger Brothel, Shendude had been blinded by hot spicy cum in his eyes. MJL is on the prowl and Darkbee is preparing to fuck a giant pussy with Detective Carney inside.

Carney with little room discovers his hand is touching some object and decides to push it out of Lola's mighty pussy lips.

Darkbee watched as several hamburgers came out of Lola's large pussy.

"Oh my God!" Darkbee screamed, "You have an ass in front of your body!"

"I do not!" shouted Lola back as she got up and slapped Darkbee across his two meter plus sized cock.

Carney threw another burger out the opening pussy lips and hit Darkbee in the face.

"Quit shitting on me!" Darkbee said as he ran out of the room in freak-out mode.

MJL, about to blow Shendude away with his gun for no reason other than it just seemed like a cool idea at that moment was caught unaware as Darkbee fell into him. The two sworn enemies reached for their weapons but neither fired. Darkbee felt a lump in his throat, as did MJL. The two lowered their weapons slowly. Darkbee pulled out a frozen urine dildo and MJL popped a pill that enlarged his mouth nearly two feet wide. Darkbee inserted the Dildo into MJL as MJL deep throated Darkbee's big cock.

Meanwhile, blind Shendude fell upon the burger conveyor belt and got burned. He reached over to the fountain drink machine and couldn't find the breasts. Suddenly he felt several breasts hit him in the head, saying things like "Stab him with your nipple!" "Titanic Titties don't fail me now!"

About 50 feet away, Carney was flung out of the pussy lips and somehow lived to tell the tale. Lola told Carney to lie down and Carney knew that if she got on top of him it would be his doom. Lola took Carney's wallet out and was pleased. Donning her colorful hat, she grabbed Carney's cock and got him off in a few seconds. Lola placed Carney's cum inside a wooden dildo. Lola began to speak, not knowing that it wasn't Shendude, but really Carney. "Shendude you are a very good man so from now on, I will use my voodoo power to guide your cock. Now be gone my pussy juice covered friend and I predict a great event will happen to your life…tonight…at the Opera."

Leaving the Burger Brothel, Carney saw his secretary getting her pussy licked by a guy with the greatest mouth he's ever seen in his life. Pretty strange thought Carney that the guy's cheeks seemed to be moving in odd directions.

Carney saw Shendude getting hit by the tits and called over to his friend, "Thanks dude. I almost got killed back there," Carney told his blind buddy.

"Carney is that you? I can't see because of this hot spicy cum."

Carney watched as the tits flew out of the Burger Brothel looking for their owners.

"Dude! You smell like Pussy!" Shendude said, still blinded by the spicy cum sauce.

"Dames! Some guys got it!" Carney responded and he and his buddy headed outside.

By then it was early evening and Carney saw a street full of sex-starved zombies. He rushed with his buddy to the mall, getting there just before it closed. They noticed that besides the place smelling pretty bad, the mall was fairly empty. However, they did bump into Ms.Read and female Charlie.

"Detective it is you?" Ms.Read asked. "Did you find my boyfriend Charlie? What can you tell me?"

Detective Carney remembered the conversation at the Burger Brothel and knew it was his job to tell his client the truth.

Before getting a chance to speak, several of the sex-starved zombies broke in through the main entrance. The lead one is held a double fretted guitar.

Chapter 5

As Princesses Babygrrl and Rydia sent thousands to their death attacking each other's planet, two imperial battle ships landed over Wembley stadium in England. The two Princesses had decided to settle their differences on a neutral field and have no-holds barred duel to the death.

Somewhere near mid-field, the Princesses faced off. Before attacking, they checked their opponents out.

Princess Rydia spoke first. "Nice shoes you got their Babygrrl. Where did you get them?"

"I kidnapped Sarah Jessica Parker and made her take me to the best shops," Princess Babygrrl said as she showed her shoes off.

"Well I got mine from Sarah Jessica also, right after the filming of the "Sex in the City" movie," Princess Rydia responded.

This fact caught Princess Babygrrl by surprise. "I didn't know they finished filming yet?"

Princess Rydia smiled. "We've had seven "Sex in the City" films. We brought up the whole cast and filmed it on condition that we do not let those Earthlings view it."

Princess Rydia easily blocked a hex blast. She threw back a counter spell of her own and Princess Babygrrl deflected it with ease.

"I always pictured you differently Rydia," Babygrrl said with a sly grin.

"How so dear Princess?"

"You know, a person with a long sheet of toilet paper stuck to their foot and a finger up their nose?"

"You thought that of me?" Princess Rydia said as her hands had an energy mass building up in them.

"Oh no. It's just that English chap walking in the bleachers" Babygrrl responded as she blew off the distraction.

Princess Babygrrl sent a crimson blast towards Rydia who blocked it effortlessly. Princess Rydia sent back a powerful energy bolt that Babygrrl blocked with ease.

The two Princesses realized that their battle with magic was rather pointless.

Princess Rydia said, "Let us duel as our ancestors have."

"Yes," responded Princess Babygrrl as she drew out her pocket rocket, which extended into a vibrating sword.

Cat like shrills filled the air as the two girls attacked and counter attacked each other. Neither girl was able to land a blow on the. Suddenly, Princess Babygrrl saw an opening and swung an outstretched finger towards Princess Rydia's pussy.

"Now I will finish you." Princess Babygrrl said as her expression slowly changed from savage berserker to that of lust. Princess Rydia also began lowering her deadly blade as she looked at her opponent and gently touched her hand, asking for her to continue with the finger probe.

The two girls locked lips, as their weapons were gone. They ravaged each other as lovers often do. Because they are highly sexual beings, describing in detail is way beyond the comprehension of us mere mortals. Similar to hearing the voice of God.

After a long time they laid upon the stadium's grounds and cuddled with one another as they continued to gently caress each other tenderly.

Princess Rydia saw some familiar faces appear. "Mom. Dad. I am sorry but I love Princess Babygrrl. I know she's our enemy but I can't help myself."

Riff-Raff looked down at the girls as Magenta nudged him in the back.

"All right woman. I'll tell." Riff Raff said.

Magenta hit him again and Riff-Raff stopped twirling his thumb. "He does that when he's horny."

"Rydia…you and Babygrrl…" Riff-Raff said as he looked back. Magenta gave him her stare.

"Well you are both sisters." Riff-Raff admitted as he backed up.

Magenta stepped forward. "You are both sisters. Babygrrl please forgive my sometimes brainless brother/husband."

Babygrrl had a shocked look on her face. "I think I always knew it in my heart that Rydia was my sister."

Rydia also has a shocked look on her face. "Wait we are not only sisters…but we are also twins."

Babygrrl looks her sister in the eyes. "We are twin sisters. This is the happiest day of my life."

The two girls locked lips once more as their happy parents look on.

Magenta gave Riff-Raff a nudge.

"I am so sorry Babygrrl that I left you outside a porn shop one day. It was a moment of weakness. Once I got out of the porn shop I spent minutes looking for you and you were gone. I forgot how small you were but now look at you," he touched her breasts, "and how you have filled out. "

"You are forgiven Dad. Growing up as an orphan I pretty much had to suck and fuck my way up to the top anyways. But I do have one question." Babygrrl asked, "What is our obsession with that Earth woman Ms.Read?"

"Yeah Dad. She's just an Earthling." Princess Rydia sat up as well.

Magenta stepped forward this time. "I will let you in on this part. Along time ago back on Earth, way before our former master, Frank N'Furter got obsessed with Eddie and his Monster man, life was wonderful in the castle. On one particular evening I had sex with both your Dad and Frank N'Furter and having a rather large pussy, as you know you've tasted, I felt both men finish inside me at the exact same time. A daughter was born – Ms.Read, your three quarter sister and the master explained that he didn't want anything to do with her so he sent her off to stay on Earth. We always thought about taking her back with us but too much time passed."

Both sisters felt tears of joy, as they suddenly realized the situation.

"Oh no MJL may cause her harm."

"Also Darkbee. We must stop them"

Riff-Raff dropped two Opera tickets as the happy sisters sped off hand in hand.

"Don't worry girls. We'll stop the war," Riff-Raff said as he waved good-bye.

"Really?" Magenta asked,

" Naw…they didn't like me anyways. No one likes me!" Riff-Raff screamed.

Magenta hit her I-Zune as a familiar beat broke out. Riff-Raff watched as she made a jump to the left…

…and the rest you pretty much can figure out.

Inside the mall, Ms.Read, Carney, Charlie and blind Shendude were being pursued by sex-starved zombies.

"What are we going to do? We're trapped" Ms.Read screamed.

"If only I had a cell phone handy I'd know how to get out of this." Shendude responded as a cell phone was placed in his hand. He felt the number key and dialed General Xoxo.

General Xoxo answered. "Shendude my good friend, that sex doll you sent me has come to life and has been chasing me around my space ship. She's got me washing dishes now. Ah shit she's coming…bye!"

Charlie came up with an idea. "We could all have sex and make grunting sounds. The sex-starved zombies will think we are one of them."

Carney tried to digest this thought, as did Shendude.

Soon Charlie and Ms.Read were naked on top of each other, banging their pussies together. Ms.Read looked over at Carney, asking him to hurry.

Shendude hit the ground as his pants were pulled down. Carney banged him in the butt and everyone was making deep grunting sounds.

The Jimmy Page lead sex-starved zombie unit arrived first. He busted out a few chords of the "Immigrant Song" as he lead his undead zombie brigade elsewhere.

"It worked" Ms.Read said as she got up. But Carney continued penetrating Shendude's butt while watching a big screen TV featuring some news story about the Minnesota Vikings complaining they caught some ass itching disease.

Carney pulled out as Ms.Read looked at his cock as it did various tricks. Ms.Read seemed fascinated by it. "Mind if I?" Ms.Read asked.

Charlie had tears in her eyes as she watched her girlfriend suck another man's cock. She found herself torn between telling Ms.Read the truth of her love as girlfriends and that she dressed up as Ms.Read's boyfriend as well. "Why can't Ms.Read just try and be a lesbian?" she thought.

Charlie left at that moment, taking Shendude with her as Ms.Read sucked the most acrobatic cock she had ever tried to suck.

Meanwhile, Carney was paying no attention to how or what his cock was doing. Something in the back of his detective trained brain remembered something that may have given him a clue, the three and a three quarter cup mug of coffee. "That's got to be it!" he thought gleefully.