The Choices of Evelyn Ch. 04-06

Imprisoned by the gaze, Evelyn felt her fingers undo the buttons of her blouse. She didn't want to, did she? But did she not want to? The soft cotton slid off her shoulders, exposing pale skin. Without letting go of her eyes, the black woman, Zelda, reached for Evelyn's left breast.

"Such excited little nipples," she whispered, denting the tip with a red painted fingernail. Evelyn shivered, forever lost in the gaze. Someone wanted her; she needed someone wanting her. The fingertip felt cool against her hot skin, causing goosebumps to rise. Then Zelda's hand went up and started tracing the breast's curve from the delicate collarbone to the pink nipple. She hardly touched the skin itself.

"Such a sweet gentle slope; such nice swollen areolas," she said, lowering her gaze and palming the flesh. She cupped the breast as if weighing it. "Is that your heartbeat I feel, Evelyn?" Their faces were very close now, the woman's breath caressing her skin. Zelda answered her own question and smiled. "Yes, I feel it. How amazing; and how fast it beats – like a little bird's." She looked up again, her face almost touching the girl's. But Evelyn had closed her eyes – feeling a blush heating her face. The woman found her lips in an open-mouthed kiss that lasted for minutes. She pulled Evelyn's topless body into hers and only let go when they both needed air.

"Oh God," Evelyn gasped, opening her eyes.

"Oh yes," Zelda agreed, smiling. "Tell me about Evelyn," she then said, after their breathing had slowed to normal. Her right hand still fondled the girl's breast, making the nipple slip and slide through her dark fingers. Her other hand disappeared under the riot of copper hair, fingertips massaging the skull. Evelyn looked up to the taller woman, her lashes fluttering. Then she shrugged.

"What's to say about Evelyn?" she asked, her voice a hoarse whisper. "I... I shouldn't even be here. I'm just a boring single girl, trying to make a living and have some fun." She shrugged again. "I guess I'm not very successful at both." The woman stared at her for seconds. Then she shook her head.

"No," she said, breathing the word. "That won't do. Tell me about Evelyn." She held the girl's green eyes until Evelyn's lashes fluttered and her throat jumped, swallowing.

"Uhm, wellll...," she said, stretching the word to find time. "Evelyn is a 25-year-old college dropout looking 18, who happens to fall for women. I live alone and have a curious mixture of Moroccan-French and Irish in my DNA." The blow across her face came from nowhere, making her head snap. The woman ignored her surprised yelp as she calmly restated her question – never raising her voice.

"I asked you to tell me about Evelyn." The girl looked stunned. Tears popped from her eyes; it was the shock more than the pain. Nobody after her father ever treated her like this. The solid earth shook under her feet. A dark spot bloomed on her cheek where the woman had struck her. She should feel anger, but she didn't, no indignation either – just shock, and fear. She stood frozen, allowing new tears to streak her cheeks; she didn't protest, she didn't run.

"Say it, Evelyn," the woman said, touching the bruise. "You know you have to say it." Evelyn swallowed twice.

She remembered stumbling in from the snowstorm. She'd driven around the Club's block twice, berating herself; reminding herself of what she'd sworn; telling herself to be strong. But the modest neon sign seemed to mock her.

"Be weak for once," it whispered. "Go in. You earned it." The bar had been empty but for the blonde female barkeep polishing glasses. Evelyn ordered a hot mug of spiced cocoa, hugging it in a dark corner of the room. She yet again wondered why she was back here, feeling relieved that the bar was empty – no acquaintances, thank God no ex-lovers. Staring without seeing, she sipped the cocoa without tasting.

"Hi," a voice said. At first, it didn't penetrate the invisible wall around her. "You seem quite alone, honey." She looked up, seeing a big black woman in a tight suit, one red-tipped hand resting on her hip – a dark smile lifting her over-generous lips while her eyebrows frowned.

"I'm used to it," Evelyn said. She didn't remember seeing the woman before at the club. There weren't many black members. She wore a business suit, dark, with a pin stripe. Her deep voice had a southern twang, her stature was imposing, her dark eyes... dangerous. Why did she think 'dangerous?'

"Are you new in here, honey?" the woman asked, walking closer on clicking heels. Evelyn guffawed. New, she thought, giving the word a bitter taste.

"What's it to you?" she asked, looking away. The woman's mouth twitched with annoyance at the hostile response.

"I'm Zelda, honey, just another guest here, like you. No need to bite my head off. What's your name?" Evelyn hesitated. Here she was in the wee hours of the night in this dark, almost abandoned bar, hugging her hurt. The last thing she needed was a prying woman asking questions. Then she shrugged.

"I'm Evelyn," she said. The woman stared for a moment.

"Lovely name, nice and classic," she then said. "I love classic names." Evelyn shrugged again.

"Suit yourself."

The woman grinned, sitting down at Evelyn's table without asking. She sipped from a very round glass that held some amber drink, maybe brandy. She peered over the rim of her glass to Evelyn.

"Am I bothering you?" she then asked.

"I was happy alone."

"I see. You don't look happy, though. Has someone been hurting you lately?" Evelyn's eyes flashed in the woman's direction. Her mouth worked, but no sound came from it. Then she looked away.

"What is it to you?" she growled. "Are you a shrink or something?"

"Oh God, no!" the woman exclaimed with a laugh. Evelyn allowed a silent spell to stretch. Then the woman went on. "I have been thinking," she said. "It's a thing I do, once in a while. I hope you don't mind." Sarcasm? Evelyn looked up.

"You see," the woman said. "When you add 1 to another 1, you get 2, most of the time." She chuckled and sipped. "At least I do. And that is how I came to think you got hurt, betrayed maybe, by someone or something, sometime recently." Silence. The woman chuckled, a rich, dark sound. "Your mouth must be as good as new, honey. Unless you save it for other activities." Evelyn's lashes fluttered at the sudden rudeness. She looked away. The woman chuckled again, letting the drink swirl in the round belly of her glass. The metal of her rings made the crystal chime. Then she shrugged.

"I am having a drink after a hard day's work," she said. "You want something stronger too?" A moment passed. Evelyn resisted, but she felt the wall of indifference melt away under the penetrating gaze of the woman. Here was someone to talk to, someone listening. But: no.

"I don't do that!" she said, wanting her voice to sound like a challenge, but it was mostly a whine. The woman shrugged. Her shoulders were wide and strong under her jacket.

"Okay," she said. "No drink then. But I hope you stay for a bit."

"I don't mean the drink!" Evelyn said. The woman raised her eyebrows. "If you think I'll let you fuck me, you're wrong!" Evelyn spit out. The woman gasped.

"Why would I think that, honey?" she asked. "You look sweet, but why would I want to... fuck you?" She made the rude word sound as if she used it for a first time. Evelyn felt a hot blush rise from her throat.

"They all want to fuck me," she murmured. "Women like you. All the women in here." Zelda crossed her heavy thighs and arranged her skirt.

"Now would they?" she said. "Oh my. I never thought they were like that? They... fuck around, these proper ladies in here? I thought they were quite a stuck-up bunch; hardly believed they might fuck at all." Evelyn felt her face relax with the woman's chuckle, but she held on to her scowl.

"You know better," she said after a short silence. "They are players, all of them. They are hypocrites fucking around in the dark; drunk cheaters and liars all of them. But I won't play anymore. I won't!" Evelyn's eyes zoned in on the woman's, blazing with venom, she hoped. "And I bet you're like them! I bet you throw away your girls afterwards, like they all do! Leave me alone."

The woman sat silent, seemingly stunned by the outburst. Then she rose from her chair and took a few steps toward Evelyn, making her heels puncture the silence.

"Evelyn," she said, keeping her voice soft like velvet. "You don't know me, honey. We never met, but you already condemn me." Evelyn pushed back her chair and rose too, stepping away from the imposing woman. She scowled, trying to keep cool, but she trembled. That was when the woman told her to undo the buttons of her blouse for the first time. She'd taken another step and reached out for her, but Evelyn twisted her body to avoid contact.

"Don't touch me!"

"You can trust me, baby," the woman whispered, her voice pure silk, her eyes shining. "I can see how confused you are, not wanting to be here. Yet... here you are." She smiled to soften her remark. Then she took another step closer, looming over the petit redhead. "I know this isn't you, honey," she went on, reaching for a copper-colored curl. "And you know it too. What happened, sweetie? Who hurt you? You can tell me." After all these weeks of loneliness, Evelyn felt the last remains of the pitiful wall around her crumble. A tear ran down her cheek.

"They betray me," she said, her voice choking her words. "Every one of them betrays me and laughs behind my back. All they want is to use me, then dump me." Everything came out after that, like a hot, gushing geyser. The manipulations of Olivia, the betrayal of Carlotta, the dismissal of Leila, the utter disappointment, the pain, the guilt. She'd fallen into the embrace of the woman. They'd kissed and hugged, and finally Evelyn had melted into a heap of despair.

That was when the woman asked again, and Evelyn's fingers obeyed. She'd bared her chest; it still heaved with the echoes of her tearful, exhausting catharsis. She'd shivered from the woman's touch, feeling Zelda's questions peeling layer after layer off her soul. And then, the hand struck her. Her cheek glowed from the impact. A remnant of pride struggled its way to the surface.

"I...," she whispered, "I guess you're way out of line." She turned to run, but the strong woman grabbed her arm and forced her around. Pulling the girl close, her dark face almost touched hers, blocking her view.

"Tell me," she hissed, never allowing Evelyn's eyes to escape. "Tell me who you really are, girl." The woman scared her. Ah, no, that would be too easy. She was big and black, her hair slicked back, her ample body wrapped in a sleek power suit. She looked forbidding, towering over her on spiked heels. It would be easy to say she'd bullied her into giving in, being felt up, kissed... But it wasn't quite like that, was it? The woman was the storm and the port, wasn't she? A place to run from and run to. It was all so confusing. And, at the same time, it disarmed her. Even her perfume was overwhelming, spiced with the earthy heat of her body.

"I... I don't know," Evelyn whispered, wincing as she expected another blow that didn't come. "You see," she went on, "it's so confusing. There's an Evelyn I need to be... I need to, you see? I have my business, my friends..."

"No," the woman said. "You're too many Evelyns." She reached for the girl's throat; its pulse throbbed against the palm of the slowly closing hand – dark, red-nailed fingers around pale skin. Evelyn jerked her head away, but the hand held on, as did the woman's gaze; a dark, bottomless stare checking her panicked eyes. Evelyn's ribbed windpipe massaged the palm of the tightening hand as she tried to swallow. It just squeezed harder.

"Tell me of your secrets, Evelyn," the voice whispered. "The dark and scary ones. There must be so many." Her world darkened. Her heart raced as sweat poured off her limbs. Evelyn's fingers clawed in vain at the deadly embrace.

"Show me the true Evelyn," the voice murmured, more distant now as the hand closed tighter. Evelyn's half naked body turned limp, dangling from the woman's claw. She gagged soundlessly as a thunder of blood raged in her ears. Her green irises floated up into her skull, leaving two white, vacant orbs staring out. Her mouth worked, her throat gurgled as her body went into spasms.

There was blackness and it didn't scare her. Why would it? It felt... familiar, warm, throbbing with a pulse. It was a blackness she'd known all her life, wasn't it? Lurking, never to be looked at; a dark, seducing hole to be avoided.

And now she sank into it, shaking, sobbing.

When Evelyn's eyes at last opened, she raised her head from the cool floor, gasping for air. Coughing, she milled her arms around as she got up to sit, dry heaving and gagging. Zelda wrapped an arm around her, touching the girl's brow with hers.

"Welcome back, Evelyn," she whispered. "My secretive, sweet Evelyn girl. You are so beautiful when you're honest." Evelyn looked back at her, wide-eyed and exhausted. Her shoulders started shaking and she cried out hoarsely. Pushing her face into the woman's chest, she sobbed muffled sobs that drenched the thin fabric of the expensive blouse. Her face was a mess when she looked up again, trying to talk through hysterical heaves.

"Sssssh," Zelda said, stroking her hair. "Shhhh, honey, later." She rocked Evelyn in her embrace, kissing the salty tears off her face. It took the girl long minutes to calm down enough for talking.

"How... how did you know?" she asked haltingly.

"Know what, honey?" the woman answered, smiling.

"That I would come... come so hard from what you... did to me? Choking me? That I get off on that? I never knew. How could you know?" The woman chuckled, making her fat pillow lips crawl as she rocked Evelyn in her arms. The girl curled up against her as they sat on the floor. Defeated she was, or was it delivered?

"Evelyn," the dark woman said, caressing her bare arms and shoulders. "There is no secret, no magic. You told me yourself what you need, who you really are... You, yourself did... I saw it in your eyes. There is so much in your beautiful eyes... secrets, yearnings... Ah, you desire to be in control – you have your precious business, your reputation... But dark and forbidden rituals intrigue you. They distract you, seduce you. And when life finally exhausts you, you want to hand over control. So many girls do, especially girls growing up like you – alone, despised, violated and feeling so guilty about it; that you disappointed people, letting them down. You need someone to take that away, so you can let go of the guilt and the pretense – so you can live." The dark woman chuckled, her big, soft body radiating consolation, safety.

"I know you, lil' Evelyn," she went on. "Ah, you try to be so many Evelyns, and each one of them is special. But this one, honey, this hot, soft, heartbroken little one I hold right now... Come, sweet thing; open my suit and lick my gushing cunt. You made it weep, now it needs your consolation." Evelyn hesitated. The world swam around her. The woman, Zelda, grabbed her hands, pulling them to her blouse. Smiling she said: "Do it, Evelyn. You know you need to be my sweet obeying slut."

No... no, no, no! A simple enough little word, two letters. Brains make choices, don't they? Bodies follow. Brain says no... no, no, no... Evelyn undid the buttons, opening the cream silk that stretched over the woman's generous breasts. They fell out, round and dark, purple-tipped. She put her pale face between them, smelling the musky perfume, hearing a heartbeat, the soft, soft flesh whispering to the crazy roller coaster in her head. Slow down, it said, slow down girl, slow... Her lips found a nipple, sucking it into erection. With trembling fingers, she opened the zipper that ran the whole length of the tight skirt. She let her lips travel down the torso to a black triangle of sheer lace, covering a slick, bare mound. She put it aside. Her tongue spread the cunt lips, extracting a growl. The woman folded her hands over Evelyn's head to pull her into the moist, heavily scented cradle of her lap. Climax came soon; juices gushed into the girl's mouth, making her chin shine.

After that, Zelda carried Evelyn to one of the private backrooms, where they played each other's bodies like instruments.

"I was right, you're a slut," Zelda said when her breath allowed her to shape words again. "Admit it. It is who you are, Evelyn. It's the right thing, it is what you need. Stop hurting yourself; stop resisting." The cooling sweat sent a shiver through Evelyn's body. The woman's hand parted her hair to uncover her face. Evelyn screwed up her eyes to look beyond the dark gleaming hills of Zelda's breasts. They were gently sagging sideways, opening a path to the unwavering gaze. Evelyn's drooling mouth rested on spent cunt lips, swollen from intense sucking. The woman grabbed a fistful of red hair and pulled Evelyn towards her, drawing a moan from the girl's throat.

"This is you, Evelyn," she said, forcing her lips into a smile. "You exist to pleasure me, and so many more women like me. You need strong women, women who know you. You want them to take away your guilt and bring you peace. Admit it."

Evelyn's mind was in turmoil. There was truth in the woman's words, but it was an inconvenient truth, an impossible truth. Why choose an impossible truth when there are so many easy lies? Lies to keep your friends, lies to keep your secrets, lies to make you drag your resisting body to work... Besides, if you look hard enough into your lies, you'll find truth in them. You'll learn to convince yourself into believing your lies. You've done it so often before.

"Admit it," the woman's dark eyes said. Why couldn't they leave her alone? The fist that twisted her hair caused the skin on her head to hurt. It also seemed to pull her thoughts out of her brain, leaving a kind, sweet emptiness; a soothing, numbing void.

Brains make choices, don't they? Do they? She slipped out her tongue to lick a nipple she was dragged close to. It was purple, shining.

"Yes," she sighed into the soft flesh. "You're right. Take me. Please do." Her lips closed around the nub, sucking it in.

***

"Close your gorgeous eyes," the syrupy voice said. It wasn't Zelda's, Zelda had left. It was the voice of another large, intimidating woman Zelda made her meet in the Club's back room; a white woman. She was huge and pale, dressed in tight, creaking leather, her black hair severely cut around a long face.

"She's Lilith, a friend. You can trust her like you trust me," she remembered Zelda saying, "Now, undress for her." Trust me, she'd said. Did she trust Zelda? Was trust even involved? Words, words... Standing in front of them, she'd obeyed and stripped.

"She's cute," the pale woman had said with a sugary voice, when Evelyn stood naked in front of them. "Sweet skin, nice titties, lovely tight cunt – and the hair..." A large hand had tugged at her red, curly tresses. She remembered the two women commenting as if she wasn't there. As if she was a doll. It should have enraged her, of course it should, and maybe it did. But it also made her feel aroused. Always so fucking aroused.

"I'll leave you with her," Zelda had told Evelyn. "Promise to be good." The words sent a wave of fresh panic into the girl's mind. She'd raised her hand in a weak protest – too weak, too late. Zelda had stepped up, holding her bare shoulders, face close.

"I know you'll be good, honey," she whispered. "This is what you want, so what else could you be but good? Don't let me down." She'd stepped back after tapping Evelyn's cheek with a red-nailed finger. Then she'd turned to the pale giantess again, chuckling. "Don't forget to tell me all about it!" she'd exclaimed, as she turned around and left, her big ass cheeks churning.