The Coffee Shop Pt. 04

"What makes you think I would be even remotely interested in something like that?" I asked her.

"Your sense of justice and responsibility are very strong, Paul. Once day, even though you cannot see it now, you will serve on the Council of Coins," Mary said with an air of self assurance. "I have observed you closely for a long time. I know how seriously you take your gift and how you feel about misuse of the gift. Mark my words. One day you will sit on the Council of Coins. Furthermore, you will most likely lead it."

"In your dreams," I snapped sarcastically. "Are we about done here? I'd like to get home before dawn."

"Patience, please. We are nearly finished. Once this interview is over you will be free to go. Both of you," Mary replied ignoring the sarcasm in my voice.

"Good," I said as I felt relief wash over me. I could see the light at the end of the tunnel.

"There's just one little thing before you go, though," Mary spoke after a brief pause. "We would like you to explain, as best you can, what it was that you did during your mental battle with The Panel, and also your mental battle with Mr. Black and his associates. We have seen things that we do not understand and we hope that you will be able to explain them."

"Ahso that's the catch," I said with a sigh. The light at the end of the tunnel had just turned into the headlight of an onrushing train.

"It seems a most reasonable request, Mr. Walton," Mary said calmly.

"Mr. Black made that request of me as well. I was unable to grant his request. As I told him, so I tell you. I cannot explain how I do what it is that I do. I just do it. You might as well ask some to describe to you the exact process required to walk, or to breath. I certainly can not do that," I answered softly.

"I see. So you still refuse to provide us with this information?" Mary asked softly, with a hint of a threat in her voice.

"I don't want to fight you, Mary. Any of you," I replied softly. "Please don't force this issue. Mr. Black and his associates forced me to take steps that I deeply regret. I have no desire to repeat myself."

"What do you mean, Paul?" Mary asked softly.

"Have you bothered to check the minds of Mr. Black and his associates?" I asked Mary. "I don't think you'll like what you'll find. Go ahead. Scan them,. I insist. Once you do, you may want to rescind your offer." I glared at Mary. She nodded her head as she slowly stood up. Mary walked over to Mr. Green, who was still standing next to the exit door. Mr. Green shied away from her hand as she placed it near his forehead.

"Let Mary scan your mind, Mr. Green," I called out to him.

"If you say so, sir," Mr. Green agreed reluctantly. He stopped dodging Mary's hand. She placed her right palm on Mr. Green's forehead and closed her eyes. The two of them stood motionless for a couple of minutes as she examined his mind. She lowered her right hand and opened her eyes. She blinked a couple of times and then looked over at me. She stared at me for a moment or two and then walked back to the table where the rest of the Council of Coins were seated.

She took her seat and then addressed me. "Mr. Walton, I must consult with the other council members. Please wait." With that Mary stood up and gestured for the other council members to hold hands and form a chain once again.

I sat in my chair waiting impatiently, with my mental shield set on a hair trigger. I didn't trust this so called 'Council of Coins' not to attack me, Mary's assurances notwithstanding. All I wanted to was to leave. However, I didn't want to have to fight the council either. When they had discovered what I had done to Mr. Black and his friends, I was sure they would not want me as part of their little group.

"A most interesting, and unexpected development, Mr. Walton," a man seated next to Mary called out to me.

"Don't you get it?" I called out to him. "Don't you understand what I've done?" I was flabbergasted at his calm acceptance of what he had seen in Mr. Green's mind.

"Forgive me, Mr. Walton, but I don't understand why you are so upset. Would you care to explain?" The unnamed man responded.

"I've branded these four men with my power. I've implanted commands in their minds that cannot be changed, altered, removed or withdrawn. Do you understand now?" I exclaimed in exasperation.

"HmmI don't think so," the man responded placidly. "I admit the commands you implanted are deep, in fact deeper than I've ever seen before, but they can be removed."

"Oh yeah? Try it!" I challenged him. "Why don't you try a full chain of all your minds and try to remove the commands from Mr. Green's mind?" I glared at the man with anger and frustration. I was tired and still trying to recover from the shock of the evening's events. I was not thinking clearly, or I would never have made such a suggestion.

The man looked at me and then nodded his head. "As you wish, Mr. Walton." He looked about at the other members of the Council. As one they got up and approached Mr. Green.

"I don't want them to do this, sir!" Mr. Green yelped at me fearfully. "Please don't let them do this to me, sir. I'llI'll be good. I promise. I'll do anything you want, anytime you want, sir. Please, sir, please? Please don't let them do this to me!"

"Stand where you are and let them into your mind, Mr. Green. Nothing will happen. You'll be just fine. Now close your eyes and relax," I said to Mr. Green soothingly. I had to put a lot of effort into calming Mr. Green with my voice. His fear was genuine.

"Yes, sir. If you say so, sir," Mr. Green replied somewhat more calmly as he let his eyes close.

The Council approached Mr. Green. The unnamed man placed his right hand on Mr. Green's forehead. Seconds later the council joined hands once again to form a mental chain. I waited as patiently as I could. A minute or so the council broke the chain as they let go of their linked hands. Wordlessly the council members returned to their chairs. A couple of them, Mary among them, glanced briefly in my direction. Their expressions were unreadable.

"It seems you are correct, Paul," Mary said after a few moments of silence. "Even the combined power of the council cannot alter or remove the controls that you have implanted into Mr. Green's mind. Yet aside from that his mind seems perfectly normal and his powers, which you somehow depleted, are returning. This is remarkable. I do not think that any of us here have ever seen anything quiet like this. It is most impressive. Your powers have grown in new and unexpected ways. You are indeed gifted."

I glared back at Mary, ignoring her words. "You still don't understand!" I yelled at her. "I crossed the line! I lost control! You and your God damn test pushed me over the line and I hope you fucking happy about it!!!" I screamed out at her. The guilt and horror of what I had done to these four men overwhelmed me. My throat squeezed shut and I couldn't speak another word. I closed my eyes as the pain of what I had done, and how I had abused these men washed through me. I curled up in my chair as I tried to fight of the pain, guilt and remorse that tumbled down upon me. The worst part was that I knew, deep in my heart, that I would do the exact same thing again if I were pushed to it. I would unchain the demon within me, regardless of the consequences. Only next time it would be easier.

I felt a strong firm hand placed on my left shoulder. A second hand was placed on my right shoulder. Slowly I was pulled up onto my feet. I cracked my eyes open to see Andy standing in front of me. He gazed at me with kind understanding on his face. He didn't flinch or look away. He simply looked at me, with kindness and love.

"I can't understand what you are feeling, or what you did to those men, Paul," Andy replied after a few moments of gazing deep into my eyes. "I do know what type of man you are, though. I have seen your kindness and compassion, countless times. I do know that I am proud of you."

"Proud of me?" I asked in a shaky voice. "Proud of me for giving in to my anger and hate? Proud of me for losing control? How can you be proud of me, Andy? How can you love me? How, in the name of all that is decent in the world, can you even stand to look at me?"

"I'm proud of you, because you didn't give up the fight. You fought with all you had and you hung in there until you won," Andy answered softly. "You could have just given in and given up, but you didn't. Despite the cost to yourself, you fought on, and you won."

Andy looked at me for a few seconds longer and then he seemed to come to some type of decision. Slowly Andy released his grip on me and stepped back a pace or two. Andy took a deep breath and snapped to attention. He saluted me. "Maintiens le Droit!" he barked out at me. I looked up at him and a lump came to my throat. With rubbery knees I stood as tall and straight as I could. I looked Andy square in the eyes (well as near as I could considering he was looking straight ahead with his eyes locked on some far point on the wall). Slowly I returned his salute, still unclear as to what it was that he was trying to tell me.

Andy relaxed and held me by my shoulders, as he looked into my eyes once more. "You only did what you had to do, Paul. Don't beat yourself up. Let go of your guilt and self loathing. These men knew the risks when they agreed to abduct you. You have nothing to feel guilty about or to feel shame over. You did what you had to, because they gave you no other choice, other than to die. You chose to defend yourself. You chose to live. You maintained the right, and I am proud of you. Paul, you acted with the true spirit of the RCMP. You protected life. Your life. And you did it without taking another life. You could have killed these men, or had them kill themselves. But you didn't do that. You did what was right. Remember that. And remember too, that I still love you. I'll always love you, no matter what."

"If it was so right, why does it feel so wrong, Andy?" I cried out to him as I struggled to make sense of his words. "Why does it hurt so bad?"

"Because dipping into the dark side of your soul is always painful, Paul. It is what stops us from running wild." Andy answered softly. I looked deep into his eyes and I could see the pain of the many battles he'd fought, lingering in there. His words of wisdom and compassion helped me to see past the hurt, the pain, the guilt and the remorse. Finally I understood that sometimes we have to do things that we later regret, but still we do them. A silence descended on the room as I stood there holding Andy. It would take time, but with his help I would learn to forgive myself. I would conquer the pain. I would learn and grow from it. Silently, I thanked God once again for bringing Andy into my life.

"Now that you have learned this lesson, Paul, you and Constable Anderson are free to go," Mary declared shattering the silence.

"Just like that?" I asked, surprised that the sudden turn of events. "You don't want to know more about what I did?" I broke away from Andy's embrace and turned to face the Council.

"In time, but not right now. When you serve on the council, we will come to know your mind and you will come to know ours. Then we will learn all that we need to know. But for now, we will wait, and we will watch. It is better this way," Mary declared. There was a finality in the tone of her voice that suggested further debate was not wise.

"In a pig's eye!" I muttered under my breath. With that, the exit door opened. I looked at Andy. Slowly we walked towards the door We head just crossed the threshold when Mr. Black called out to me. "Mr. Walton, what weekend should we start the house boy schedule?"

I had almost forgotten about that. I couldn't face seeing these men for a while, though. "A month from this weekend," I answered. "In the meantime would you be kind enough to escort us out of this building, after showing us a place where we can get Andy cleaned up?"

"Yes, sir! Right away, sir!" Mr. Black replied as he fairly bounded over to where Andy I were standing. "Right this way, sir, please!" Mr. Black insisted as he lead the way down the corridor. In short order we were directed to a room with a sink, soap and some towels. It didn't take long to get Andy's uniform shirt cleaned, as well as the front of his uniform pants. The fake blood didn't leave a stain. Ten minutes later, Mr. Black lead us to an elevator. It was a short ride to the top floor. I thought that strange, but I didn't say anything, since the top floor was labeled 'G'. Mr. Black lead us through a few more doors and corridors as he shepherded us on our way. Eventually we encountered a door that opened out in a back alley. As I had suspected 'G' referred to 'ground'. Mr. Black escorted us all the way to the front of the alleyway. He waved at us briefly before he headed back down the alleyway. We turned right out of the alley and into the night.

"Let's grab a taxi and go home, Texas," Andy said to me as we walked down the street in the cool night air. We were walking slightly apart and without touching each other. Even though it was late at night and dark out, we were still in public. Old habits die hard. We reached the street corner and turned right again, looking for a public pay phone. As luck would have it, we found one almost immediately. It was to the right of us. It was in front of the building immediately to our right. This was the same building that we had just emerged from. You would never have guessed from the plain almost drab exterior that this building housed an extensive underground facility. This was a store front I knew well. All too well. It was the Coffee Shop. I had come full circle. My first encounter with Mary had been here, and here I was again.

I looked at Andy briefly and then shrugged my shoulders. "What the hell? I could sure use a cup of coffee right now. We can call the cab from inside and enjoy our coffee while we wait."

"Yeah. Why the hell not? We've sure as hell earned it," Andy agreed with a lopsided grin.

The cab arrived fifteen minutes later. We took the cab to my apartment. When we were safely in my apartment and had our hands wrapped about a hot cup of herbal tea, we talked about the events of the evening. We did more than just talk though. I cried a river of tears. I sobbing unashamedly as I described to Andy, as best I could, how I had felt as I lived through that awful moment when I thought he had been killed before my eyes. I didn't leave anything out. I even told him of the emptiness and coldness of my spirit when I battled Mr. Black and his associates.

Andy, bless that big RCMP heart of his, held me close all the while, offering me support, kisses and tender embraces whenever it seemed that I needed them. He did his best to understand, as I babbled on into the wee hours of the morning. I knew that he truly understood, when he told me about his own loss. It was something that I had never even suspected. It seemed that the Constable who trained him, was shot and killed several months after Andy's training period as rookie Constable was over. Andy and this Constable Smith had spent six months together as Andy learned the rules of the street. In that time, they had become close friends, very close friends. When Constable Smith was killed, Andy told me that he felt like he had lost his older brother or maybe his father. So it seemed that he had a pretty good idea of the pain I had just gone through this evening. I'll never forget what he said next, though.

"When you let someone in to your heart, Paul, when you let them get close to you, there is always the risk that someday you will lose them," Andy muttered softly to me as we sat there curled on the sofa together. "Pain is an intrinsic part of life and of love. If you never feel the pain, you'll never feel the joy."

I lifted my red rimed eyes at him, and looked into that beautiful face of the man whom I had come to love with a depth and scope that I had never imagined possible. "Then let's feel the joy now, while we have the chance, dear heart," I said looking into those soft doe brown eyes of his. "For now, please hold me in your arms, and let me fall asleep there. Safe in your arms, at least for this night."

Andy stood up and put actions to words. He lifted me up and held me in his arms as he lead the way to my bedroom. Moments later we arrived at my queen sized bed. Andy unlaced his arms from me and wordlessly began to remove his clothing. I followed suit. There wasn't anything erotic or sexual in the manner in which we undressed. We were both tired, bone tired. We simply and efficiently stripped off our clothes, letting them fall into heaps at our feet. With only our briefs on, we turned down the covers and climbed into bed. Andy paused only long enough to flip the bed sheets over our nearly nude bodies, before he snaked his arms about my body once more.

"I love you, Texas," he cooed as he drew my body next to his. "For now, and for always."

"Ditto, dear heart," I said. A huge yawn cut off any further words. I wanted to say more, but I could not keep my eyes open. I gave up and closed them. Andy kissed me. A soft lingering kiss full on my lips that spoke more of his love for me than any words possibly could have. Curled up beside Andy, safe in the warm embrace of his arms I found forgiveness, acceptance, peace and calm. In Andy's loving embrace, I let sleep wash over me. I would think about tomorrow, tomorrow. For now, for right now, I was safe and secure in Andy's embrace, and that was all that mattered.

THE END

(Paul Walton will return in "The Coffee Shop V".)