The Country Cop

"Okay, let's look at how you operate here." I opened his record and glanced at my notes. It tells me here that you haven't had a burglary in three years. I find that hard to believe."

"It's not that hard to believe when you know the people of this town. They all look after each other, if someone's sick there are people to help out with food and housework and things like that. If someone is having a hard time financially there will be people to help out with eggs and milk and groceries until they are back on their feet. If someone wants a lawnmower because his has broken down, he doesn't go to his neighbour and steal his, he knocks on the front door and asks for a lend and it is freely given. There is no expectation of repayment, it just happens. So why would you want to steal from your neighbour when all you have to do is ask and it is given."

"The last time we had a burglary it was the son of a family that had just moved into town. He was on drugs and needed money to buy them, so he stole some tools from his neighbour and tried to sell them. The person to whom he tried to sell them recognised them and called me and I went and had a word with him. He tried it again a week or so later so I had to arrest him. While he was waiting to go to trial the people here paid him a visit and discussed openly what would happen if he did it again. He never did and now he's a really nice young man, and he doesn't do drugs any more."

"Fine." I made notes in my pad. "I notice that you haven't had any major traffic accidents for many years. How do you explain that?"

"The kids here learn to drive at an early age and they learn to drive well."

"Something I heard concerns your methods of testing Learner Drivers before you issue a licence. Some students get an easy test while others are failed several times before you issue the licence. Can you explain this discrepancy?"

"I've seen these kids grow up and I've seen them when they have been learning to drive and I know even before they sit the test how good they are. If I don't see the need to conduct a full examination that is my call based on my knowledge of the driver."

"I even heard that one young man got no test at all, how do you explain that?"

"You're talking about Phil Benson. Phil had to learn young and he was allowed to drive before he was of age because the family needed him to be able to drive to school. You see, his parents had been having a hard time of it. They were orchardists and over a period of several years factors combined so that they had virtually no farm income, but the had to keep going for the sake of the kids, there were four of them and Phil was the oldest, so a lot fell on his shoulders."

"Phil had been driving farm tractors since he was knee high to a grasshopper and when he was twelve his father was given a clapped out old bomb of a car by a neighbour. Phil stripped it down and rebuilt it, and it went. So he built a track around the farm, virtually a rally track, you know, in and out of the trees, up and down hills and creek crossings, all the fun things. He practised by driving around that track at every opportunity until he could almost do it blind folded."

"I was out at the farm, dropping off some stuff that a friend had given me, when I saw Phil belting around the track, so I went over to watch him. Boy could that kid drive, he wrung the neck off that car, his car control was that good that he would have won rallies if he'd been old enough to enter them. I turned a blind eye when he began to drive his brother and two sisters in to school. I watched him and decided that he was a mature and sensible driver, so when he arrived at the station on his seventeenth birthday I had no hesitation in issuing his licence."

"His brother on the other hand tried five times before I gave him his. Not to put too fine a point on it, the first time he fronted for his test he was an idiot. He frightened the living daylights out of me, so I told him to go away and learn to drive before coming back. It took time and several rejections before he was considered competent. I did however give him a warning that if I ever saw him driving stupidly I would ground him and keep an eye on him and if I ever caught him driving while unlicensed he would go to gaol. He got the message and started to listen to his brother, he is now a competent and safe, but not brilliant driver."

"What I'm getting from all of this is that you are using the community to do your work for you."

"Don't tell them that, but essentially that's the only way you can operate in a country town. If you go by the book and administer the letter of the Law you'll get absolutely nowhere."

"That confirms what I'd observed in the short time that I've been here." Chilvers looked more closely at the man opposite him. "But there is one nasty fly in the ointment." I took Suzie Chambers' statement from my folder. "I have here a statement from a Suzie Chambers who alleges that you used your position as the only policeman here to coerce her into providing you with sexual favours. What do you say to that?"

"Do you mind?" He held his hand out for the statement, I gave it to him and he read it. "This is about what I would have expected from her. Let me tell you the real story."

***

"I first came across Suzie Martin, as she was then, when she was a sixteen year old schoolgirl. I was giving a lecture on Road Safety to the high school kids and she was one of them. She developed a crush on me and began to follow me around and I found that at every turn there she was. For obvious reasons I couldn't allow this to continue, I was married at the time, so I talked to her parents about it and they promised to talk to her. It stopped for a while, but after my wife left me I found that it was because Suzie was going around telling everyone that we were lovers and when Julie, my wife, confronted her with her allegations she gave her places, times and dates of where she alleged we had made love. It was all a fabrication but the first I knew of it was the note Julie left when she moved out. I have since found out that Suzie was sending Julie letters containing graphic details of our alleged affair."

"I had hoped that all of this would stop when Suzie married Jim Chambers, and it did for a while. But about two years ago it all started again. She would follow me, when I went shopping for groceries, there she was, when I went for a jog in the evening, there she was. I threatened to take out a restraining order and things slowed down. Then Jim came to me for advice. She was making life a misery for him, continually telling him that he was useless in bed and that I was so much better, the inference being that we were lovers, but Jim knew her better than she realised. So we came to an arrangement, whenever she got too much for him he would go through the motions of getting shit-faced and I would 'arrest him'."

"I would take him home with me and he'd sleep in the spare room and I'd drop him home in the morning. She'd give him the rounds of the kitchen and regale him with fanciful stories about how she and I had fucked each other to a standstill and that I was the best fuck she had ever had. He'd let her rant and rave and then he'd tell her that if I was so brilliant then maybe she should leave and move in with me. She of course wasn't able to do that because of the threat of a restraining order."

"My life has changed for the better in recent times, you see old Bill Simpson was pretty crook about twelve months ago and his daughter Mary needed some help. So I went and offered to help out when I could, and to keep an eye on Bill when he went to the pub with his mates. What they didn't realise was that I made a deal with Cliff at the pub, and he sends me the bill for the drinks that Bill has had. I mean to talk to Cliff about that, I don't think he can count all that well, I'm sure Bill gets through more than I'm paying for. Anyhow, one thing has led to another and Mary and I are planning to marry as soon as my divorce is final, that will be in about a month."

***

"So you see, I have a reason to stay here, here is my life and I can't transfer away from here, who would look after Bill if Mary and I aren't around? By the way," he glanced at his watch, "I anticipated this complaint from Suzie and waiting in the next room are Jim and Mary, here to corroborate my story." He got up and opened the door. They came in, and Mary had a questioning look on her face. He held out his arms for her and she came into them, standing on her toes and kissing him. "It's okay." He told her in a voice not much more than a whisper and she smiled that beautiful smile of hers.

"When you've quite finished, I'd like to say something." I looked from one to the other of them. "Firstly, I don't need your supporting evidence." Mary and Jim stood up to leave. "No, don't go, what I have to say concerns both of you and the whole community. When I came here it was to confirm what I'd heard on the grapevine and been told by policemen working in the surrounding districts. They couldn't understand how a community like this could have so little crime and have spoken to some of the citizens from here. They were told that there was no obvious explanation, everything just happened."

"So," I looked at them again. "What I came here for, as well as your Performance Appraisal, which you'll be pleased to know is very positive, was to offer you a promotion. At first it was on the basis that you would have to move to the city, but, on giving it some thought, I've decided to do this a different way. My original intention was to recommend your promotion to a Training Role at the Police Academy where you could pass on your knowledge and experience so that we can get a police force better suited to country policing."

Mary looked at him waiting for his reaction to this. "I'm sorry, but I can't accept it. I'll resign if you force me to leave."

"Hear me out. What I now propose, and I'm authorized to do this, will be for you to lecture on a part-time basis. You can stay here and come to the Academy as required, and I haven't worked out yet whether it would be on the basis of one day a week or a block of five days a month, whatever, we in the force need someone like you who has so much understanding of how best a policeman can operate in a small community."

"Can I think about it? I need to discuss it with those who are important in my life. Mary and I will talk it over tonight and hopefully have an answer for you tomorrow."

"Very well then, I'll call by in the morning. Good-bye Jim, Mary, I can see why he's so desperate to stay here." As I left Jim said good-bye and left them to follow me to the hotel.

Mary came into his arms and hugged him. "Frank, Darling, whatever you decide will be fine with me." Her lips tasted so fine that he just didn't want to stop kissing her.

"I won't leave you or Bill in the lurch. I think that I'll go ahead with something that I've been thinking about for some time." He reached into his top drawer and took a sheet of paper from it, it was his resignation. He handed it to Mary to read. "I want to be with you and Bill and it's hard enough while I'm here full time let alone if I have to go into the city which ever way they decide to work it. With my Superannuation I'll have enough to pay off what's owing on your property and to make some improvement necessary for us to make a return to profitable farming."

"Oh Darling, this is the most wonderful thing for you to want to do but I can't ask you to forgo your career, the job that you're so passionate about, to help Dad and me."

"I'm not doing it just for you and Bill, I'm doing it for me. This business with Suzie Chambers was the final straw, I just don't think that I can put you through all of that."

"Forget about that silly little girl. I have a feeling that it will be resolved and soon." She kissed him again.

The phone shattered the moment. "Morton Police, Sergeant Chilvers speaking."

"Cut the crap Chilly, it's Cliff, can you get over here straight away."

"Sure thing, what's the problem?"

"I'll tell you about it when you get here."

"Wait here." He told Mary, "There's something happening at the pub." He ran from the station and down the road to the hotel. Mary followed him.

As he pushed open the hotel door there was a huge cheer from the crowded bar. Cliff held up his hands for silence. "Ladies and gentlemen."

"Where?" There was laughter, the mood was upbeat.

"Quiet! The reason that we are here is because we have just heard that Chilly is being offered a promotion and, while he hasn't made a decision yet, we, Jim and I, have decided that we as a community should show our appreciation for the years of exemplary. . ."

"Where did you learn that word?"

"Service and to try to influence him to stay here with us." It hadn't taken long for the word to spread and people were coming from all over the place. Cliff's offer of free beer for the first hour might have had something to do with it.

"Nah, let the bastard go! Just kidding." One of the young men who almost started the brawl on Saturday held up his hand to show that he didn't mean it.

"Like I said, we are here to influence his decision, not so much for him we don't give a toss if he wants to leave us or not, but for Bill and Mary who have come to depend on the mug."

"Did Mary put you up to this?"

"No I didn't." Mary walked up to stand by Cliff. "I've done my best to keep him here, even offered to marry him and let me tell you, there's a ninety-nine point nine chance of him staying. If you want to make that a hundred percent you'd better buy him a beer before he changes his mind!" A foaming pint was passed from hand to hand until it reached Sergeant Chilvers.

"I can't drink this, I'm on duty."

"In never stopped you before." More laughter.

I stood up. "People. I have to admit that I'm the one trying to entice Chilly away from here, but before you lynch me, let me tell you that I've just about changed my mind. If you want me to reverse my decision you'd better buy me a beer too." One appeared as if by magic. "People, can I have your attention for just a minute more. I came here with the intention, not to entice Chilly away from you permanently, merely to borrow him from time to time so that we, in the Police Force can train our new recruits that want a country posting in the finer points of country policing. I firmly believe that he's the best there is!" A loud cheer erupted from the crowd. "The one reason that he gave for even considering a move was," I was going out on a limb here identifying Suzie but decided that this was how it was done here. "A certain young lady had made allegations against him that were as untrue as they were damaging to his reputation. As a Senior Police Officer I should by rights charge this young lady with creating a public mischief, but instead I have decided to turn a blind eye while her husband gives her a swift kick up the arse, Jim?" Another cheer erupted as Jim grabbed Suzie and unconvincingly kicked her. Then he led her from the hotel.

A voice from the crowd yelled; "Slip her a bit Jim so's she won't keep pestering us for it." Jim gave him a good natured finger as they left.

The party kicked on in earnest and it was a while before I managed to talk to Chilly and Mary. "I'm not pressuring you in any way but I would still like you to consider it, but I think I may have found a better solution. How would it be if I were to send a Sergeant here and you train him for say, three months, show him the ropes, get him used to your methods, and then I'll let you resign, but on one condition."

"What's that?" He asked me.

"I want an invite to the wedding." Mary threw her arms around my neck and kissed me.

"Talk about a loser, he's not even married to her and she's looking at someone else!"

"Shut up Bill, he's going to be your son-in-law soon." Cliff said. "Who the hell do you think has been paying for the beer you drink for the last year or so?"

"You? Why did you do it?" Mary asked.

"Do you think that I was going to stand by and see the woman I love and her father, who I also love, kicked off their farm because he was fond of the odd drop of falling down liquid or several?"

"Ah, this getting too mushy for me, come on Mary, take me home."

"I'm afraid I can't allow that without breath testing Mary, I think she might have had a little too much to drink tonight." Chilvers took a balloon his pocket, why he should carry a balloon around was beyond me. "Miss, would you blow into this breathalyser unit until I tell you to stop." She took a deep breath and blew, the balloon was half full of air when he told her to stop. He slowly released the air with the mouth of the balloon under his nose. "Just as I thought, I'm sorry Miss you are going to have to come with me. Cliff, have you got a room for Bill?"

'Sure thing Chilly. Now you two behave yourselves."

"No way!" They answered simultaneously.

I knocked, actually I tapped, knocking would have hurt my head too much, on the police house door and it was opened by a very smug looking Mary. "Come in, we're just having breakfast, would you like coffee?"

"Only if you don't add milk or sugar, I don't think I could stand the sound of stirring."

"That bad huh?" Chilvers walked up behind Mary and put his arms around her, she leaned back against him and made this purring sound. I could see through the haze that they were glad that their love was now out in the open and they didn't have to sneak around behind everyone's back.

"Have you made a decision?" I asked as the hot liquid worked its magic on my churning stomach.

"Yes we have. You can send in my replacement and I'll teach him everything I know, and I'll even convince the locals not to give him too hard a time. At the end of three months he should be well and truly settled in and I can retire in peace. Then, if the department agrees, I'll work one day a week as a Consultant Trainer, teaching recruits at the Academy how to survive in the bush. The rest of my time will be spent with family, now that I'll have one. Deal?"

"Deal." I shook his hand.