The Curse of Saint Valentine

"Our last guests have arrived," he said. "As I was explaining just now: A sufficient degree of refined decadence makes any setting fashionable."

A half dozen or so people evenly split between men and women were in the midst of dinner already. Agnes and Brigid sat next to each other while Ailbe and Kennan sat across from them. Ailbe had to help Kennan into his seat and the woman next to him looked concerned and even scooted away an inch. The waiters were pouring wine; Brigid still had a mild hangover from the previous day but didn't stop them from filling her glass, and the smell of roasted lamb made her mouth water. She'd eaten nothing all day.

"...did you know that?" Agnes was saying. Brigid blinked.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention?"

"I said that on Valentine's Day they used to whip women. The Romans did, I mean. It wasn't called Valentine's Day back then, but anyway, it's when they did the whipping."

"What had they done?"

"Oh, it wasn't a punishment. It was supposed to make them more fertile for the spring. It sounds like fun. Inus told me about it."

"I imagine. Speaking of which," Brigid raised her voice a little so that Inus could hear her: "I love what you've done with the place."

Inus swallowed his wine. "Some things are worth doing right. You realize why we're here?"

"The company?" She gestured with her glass to the piles of skulls.

"These are the Catacombs of San Valentino, where the saint's body was first laid to rest after his untimely beheading at the Via Flaminia. Most of him isn't here anymore, but even so, a fine setting for a special occasion."

"Which reminds me," Brigid said, slicing through tender lamb meat with a very sharp knife and selecting the choicest bits to pop into her mouth. "You promised us the saint would be in attendance. Everyone else remembers hearing that?"

The guests all murmured assent. Ailbe tensed; Kennan looked even more ill. Inus only shrugged.

"Well, I didn't promise I'd produce all of him..."

He retrieved a sandalwood box carved with roses and birds and inlaid with glass, and inside, resting on velvet, was a fragment of yellowed bone. He passed it to Brigid, who held it with the tips of her fingers. "Is it real?" she said.

"It had better be for what I paid for it. It's supposed to be in a church in Prague, but they switched it for a fake."

"How do you know you don't have the fake?" Brigid said.

"Ah, there's the rub," said Inus. "But I trust the people I do business with. And now we can say that Saint Valentine himself attended our orgy, even if there wasn't enough of him left to get in on the action?"

Laughter all around. Agnes peered at it. "Which bit of him is it?"

"Part of the foot, as near as I can tell. I asked if we could have something nearer the crotch but I don't think they took me seriously."

Brigid was examining the reliquary. It didn't seem to be locked, so she opened the lid and, over Inus' objections, picked up the bit of bone. It was not as light as she'd expected. The chatter of the diners and the clink of dishes ceased as everyone watched her, wondering what she might do.

She looked at Ailbe; he nodded. And so Brigid brought the relic to her lips and, very gently, kissed the bones of St. Valentine. Then she passed it across the table and Ailbe did the same, and finally so did Kennan, and Brigid noticed that as soon as he did he stopped shaking.

When he was finished Kennan put the bone back in the rosewood box and gave it Inus. Agnes pouted. "I wanted to kiss it too," she said. The man sitting on her left whispered something in her ear and she threw a napkin at him.

Inus watched all of them with an unreadable expression. "I trust there was a reason for that?" he said.

"Yes," was all Brigid said.

"I look forward to hearing about it. But now I think I should release everyone to get better acquainted with one another?"

Agnes stood up immediately and grabbed Brigid by the wrist, pulling her away even as she was in the midst of a bite of juicy lamb. "Hey—?" Brigid said.

"Dinner can wait, let's explore," said Agnes, pulling Brigid into an alcove lit by just enough reflected light to make out the macabrely comical audience of bones nearby.

"I'm not sure how much more of this place I really want to see," she said.

"I didn't mean explore the tomb, silly," Agnes said, putting Brigid's hand on her breasts. Testing, Brigid squeezed and felt the warm flesh through the silky fabric. Agnes groaned a little, so Brigid squeezed again, and then she pushed Agnes against the wall and cupped her in both hands, rolling her palms around. Agnes gasped. "Oh!" she said. "Do that again..."

From around the corner Brigid heard laughter, voices, and certain amorous noises. She paused. "Wait here a second," she said and stuck her head out. Scanning the crypt, she spotted Ailbe; he was sitting with Inus, talking and looking relaxed. He even smiled once. She looked left and right for Kennan and finally found him talking to two women in another alcove. He looked animated and his color was normal and he was no longer shaking. Brigid chewed her nails, lost in thought.

"Is everything okay?" Agnes said.

"You know...I think it is."

Brigid turned back. Agnes had her back pressed to the wall and had pulled down the straps of her dress to reveal the pink corselet underneath. She puckered her lips and said, "Kiss me."

Instead Brigid clapped her hand over Agnes' mouth, forced her head back and licked the side of her neck. Agnes squealed. Brigid bit her on the collarbone. The taste of succulent lamb was still in her mouth and it created the brief, hallucinogenic impression that she was gnawing the other woman's flesh. She pushed it away.

They pressed against each other in the dark, fabric sliding against fabric and hot skin touching here and there. Brigid's lips glided over Agnes' soft, perfumed skin and earth beneath them shifted as they leaned on and against each other's curves. They kissed and it was all moving tongues and hot breath and fluttery feelings in their chests.

Brigid pressed Agnes' wrists against the wall, holding her there. "Don't move," she said, slithering down the front of her and kissing the spot where the tops of her stockings rolled around her legs. Agnes squirmed and Brigid held her wrists tighter. "I said don't move." She nibbled the girl's plump legs and slipped her tongue into the seam where her thighs met her hips. There were plenty of other noises coming from the next room now, including lots of giggles and moans, but Brigid ignored them all and concentrated instead on the pleasing animal scent of Agnes' wriggling form.

"Now I want you to lock those pretty little lips up tight for a few seconds," she said. "Ah, ah: I'm serious. If you be a good girl and don't make any noise you'll get a treat, but you have to be absolutely, positively, completely quiet until I count to...seven.

"Are you ready?" Agnes' head bounced up and down. Brigid cupped her hand around the girl's crotch. "Not a peep now," she said, and she began to rub.

"One..."

Through the gauzy barrier of her panties Agnes was warm and dribbling wet. She felt like a hot little animal under the pressure of Brigid's palm. Someone around the corner cried out in surprise.

"Two..."

Brigid pulled Agnes' undergarments to the side and examined the little pink slit underneath. Pursing her lips, she blew on it and the girl's body jittered, but she didn't say anything. Nearby a woman was laughing under her breath.

"Three..."

She put one finger against Agnes and pressed for a second. The girl seemed to be holding her breath. A drop of wetness shone on the tip of Brigid's nail, so she licked it off. It tasted rich and human.

"Four..."

Now she traced the entire length of the girl's tiny, tight opening. Delicate flesh quivered and Brigid's pulse raced in her ears but Agnes, though a squirming mess, still hadn't broken. Brigid kissed her there, once. Echoing around the inside of the crypt was a voice she didn't know: "Oh, your hands are cold!"

And then another: "Give them a chance to warm up..."

"Five..."

She licked and tickled and tasted and Agnes grabbed the sides of Brigid's head, tangling her fingers in Brigid's hair, and she seemed to be shaking all over with the effort of keeping her voice pent-up inside her but, to Brigid's surprise, she still hadn't let out a peep.

"Six..."

The taste and the smell and the feel of wetness on her tongue and mouth made Brigid hungry. The chamber behind them was now filled with a symphony of growls and moans and cries. A breathless voice was repeating: "Oh yes...oh yes...ohhh, yes..."

"Seven," Brigid said, with one last lick. "All good girls go to—"

"Where?" The voice was right behind her. Brigid looked up and made a face at Inus.

"None of your business," she said. He touched her hair but she pushed his hand away.

"Don't be like that," he said. "I thought we got along so well last night?"

"You'd be surprised how much people can change. And how quickly." Brigid stood up, brushing off her dress.

"I'm still your host..." Inus said. Brigid chewed her nails for a second and then shrugged again.

"I suppose that's true. And you did help us...where is Ailbe?"

"Enjoying himself. You have been too, by the look of it. ...is something wrong with her?"

Brigid saw that Agnes was still squirming and red-faced with tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Oh, I didn't realize—Agnes, you can make noise now."

"Ohhhhhhhhhh yeah!" Agnes said, kicking her feet and pounding her palms on the crypt wall. A few skulls rattled on the stones. "That was SO hot. Oh God, I've got goose bumps!" She grabbed Brigid with one hand and Inus with the other. "Come on, let's have more fun!"

"I'm not in the mood to share," said Brigid. The sounds in the larger room had changed; the cries sounded wilder and more frenzied.

"Technically I'm the one sharing with you," Inus said. He was unbuttoning his fly. "But I do pride myself on my generosity."

Agnes dropped to her knees, reached in and pulled out Inus' cock, practically shoving the entire thing into her mouth in one go and making a little "Mmph!" noise. Inus grabbed a handful of her hair and started to work his hips back and forth. Brigid was peering around the corner again. The larger room was filled with huge, strange shadows all over the walls, making a mass of tangled limbs. The noise was frightening.

"I guess there's nothing to be done..." she said, and turned back. She settled on the cool stones behind Agnes and slid her arms around, grabbing a double handful of the girl's breasts again and fondling them, feeling the hot flesh sliding against her fingers while Agnes bobbed up and down on Inus' cock, lips making a wet suction that, however briefly, blocked some of the racket from the rest of the party. Brigid kissed across the breadth of Agnes naked back, her teeth grazing the shoulder bones. Craning her head back she looked up at the collection of eyeless voyeurs grinning down at them. She winked.

Hours of hot, sweaty, naked, unseemly secrets passed in the hallowed corners of the tomb. Inus eventually passed out with his head pillowed by a bundle of his own clothes while Brigid cradled Agnes' naked body against hers and made soothing sounds. The younger woman had no head for wine and she'd drunk herself into a stupor. The larger tomb was still noisy, but the sound was subdued now, an unidentifiable wet sound, like tearing fabric. Something smelled.

"What's that?" Agnes said.

"Nothing, dear."

"You were going to tell me about kissing the bones..." Agnes murmured.

Brigid sat up a little. "Oh that? It was an apology. Part of the family superstition, you see: the curse."

Agnes' head lolled. "What curse?"

"Bad things always happen to our family on Valentine's Day. Particularly every seven years, like this one. Ailbe thought this would be our one chance to get so close to a holy relic of St. Valentine that we could actually pick it up and hold it and maybe undo it, but...I don't think it worked."

"I don't feel so good..."

"Poor lamb. Just rest."

"What's so bad that happens on Valentine's Day?" Agnes said.

"Not much, I guess. Our mother murdered our father on this day, though"

Agnes choked. "Oh. Oh my—"

"God? Yes, God had something to do with it. When Mom realized what she'd done, she killed herself too. But the whole thing wasn't really her fault; she just lost control. It happens to all of us sooner or later."

Brigid felt hot all over and her skin itched. Agnes seemed to be trying to move away but Brigid wrapped her limbs tighter around the girl.

"Ailbe killed someone once too: our youngest brother," she said. "He would have been 21 this year. But nobody blames Ailbe. It wasn't really his fault either. I think he wishes someone would kill him one of these years. Do you think I ought to?"

"I...I think I'd better check on everyone else. Please let me go...".

"You don't want to see what's happening in there," Brigid said. "It's awful, really. Kennan and Ailbe made a real mess of it while we were in here. Boys will be boys. Hey, do you want to know a secret?" She licked Agnes' ear and then whispered into it: "I didn't really mean it when I kissed the saint's bones. The truth is, I like the curse a little. It's fun."

Agnes' heart was beating like a little trapped bird. Brigid could smell her sweat. The girl whimpered. "What's going to happen?" she said.

Brigid smiled. "Don't worry. You won't feel a thing."

Agnes had less than a second to scream, but it was enough to wake Inus. He sat up, rubbing his temples. "What the hell is that noise?" he said.

Brigid turned away from Agnes, wiping her mouth. "Oh good, you're up." She slinked over to him on all fours and, to stop him from getting up, sat on his lap, wrapping her bare legs around him and squeezing. He tried to blink away the grogginess and alcohol haze.

"What happened to you?" he said. "Are you...hurt?"

"I'm fine. I'm fucking fantastic. Now, do you wanted to hear the rest of the story about our family? It's an old story. When St. Valentine was beheaded? One of our ancestors was there to see it, and he mocked the Christian priest on the chopping block. All good fun in those days, you know, just part of the crowd, but Valentine must not have appreciated it. After they cut his head off, the head spoke, and it put a curse on that man and every one of his descendants. That's why we came to kiss his feet and ask for forgiveness. Do you want to know what the curse was?"

Something was dripping nearby, and there was a sound like a dog growling in its sleep as it dreamed. Inus seemed to be frozen. Brigid whispered in his ear:

"That every seven years, we would become wolves."

Inus swallowed.

"Now isn't that a silly story?" Brigid stretched and yawned, showing her teeth.

"I'm hungry again. It sounds like Kennan and Ailbe were pretty greedy in there, but that's all right." She kissed him once with bloody lips. "I just want you all to myself."

***

Brigid felt sick. She wasn't alone: Ailbe had been in the bathroom for half an hour making retching sounds. He'd eaten too much.

Brigid knocked on the door. "You need help in there?"

"Let him be," said Kennan, but Brigid went in anyway. The smell was staggering. The toilet bowl was filled with a red mess. Ailbe was wiping his mouth on one of the hotel's monogrammed towels.

Brigid put a hand on his arm and he pushed it away. "Don't do that," she said. She slid her arms around him in a hug. He squirmed for a few seconds but she didn't let go and, gradually, he relaxed into it. He sniffled a couple times on her shoulder. "It's not your fault," she said. "Remember what Mom used to say: Everyone loses it sometimes. You have bad years. It's the way it is."

"It's my fault there were so many people around."

"Yeah. But you were trying to help." She wiped a spot off his cheek, then one off of her shoulder where he'd lain. "It's that stupid saint's fault anyway."

"Maybe he didn't realize what he was doing either..." Ailbe said.

He started to follow her but after a second had to rush back to the toilet bowel. She sighed and shut the door.

Kennan sat by the window, drinking black coffee and working on his laptop. "He's right. We shouldn't have been there in the first place," he said. Brigid closed his screen when she passed.

"It was a good idea even if it didn't work."

"It was a terrible idea," Kennan said. "But we all we went along with it so there's nothing else to say."

Brigid saw that he was gathering his bags. "Do you really have to go?" Brigid said.

"I have an early flight. And I don't want to be here when they find what's in that crypt."

"I don't think we have to worry about that. The people Inus bribed probably don't want to have to answer any questions. I have a feeling the whole mess is just going to disappear under a pile of missing person's reports."

"Even so. Anyway, you're mad at me, so that means my work here is done."

"I'm not that mad..."

For a second he looked as if he didn't know what to say, and then he surprised her by handing her a box wrapped in red paper. "Here: For your birthday. And to say thank you for the card."

Brigid turned the box over in her hand, speechless for a moment. "Oh Kennan...did you get me a Valentine's Day present?"

"Let's not call it that."

"Aren't you sweet? Oh, you can't leave now. Look, why don't you put off San Luis and come with me to New Zealand for a few days? Extended vacation."

"I really can't."

"Sure you can. Come on, we're all family, why don't we ever see each other?"

"Brigid, stop."

"I don't want to stop, I want to spend time with my brothers like normal people."

"We're not normal people."

"But we can still be a family." She dragged him back toward the couch and tried to grab the suitcase out of his hand. "You can't leave until I've opened my present, right? So I'm just not going to open it until you agree to stay."

"Brigid..."

"And then I'll fly out to see Maura and the twins can spend a week with their Aunt Brigid and I'll spoil them rotten and everything will be—"

"Maura doesn't want to see you. None of us want to see you, Brigid." Ailbe emerged from the bathroom. Brigid saw Kennan flinch, but Ailbe kept talking.

"Kennan doesn't want to spend time with you when he doesn't have to, and neither do I, and none of us want to spend time with each other either, and if Mom was still alive she wouldn't ever want to see any of us either."

Brigid was speechless. She felt like she'd been punched in the stomach.

"And it's not because we don't love you," Ailbe said. "Of course we do. But we all just want to forget about this, and we can't do that when we see each other, and that's why we don't ever see each other." He sighed. "That's the truth."

First Brigid said nothing. Then she slapped hi. When she wound up to do it again Kennan stopped her and, a second later, she fell into Ailbe's chest and started to cry.

Kennan touched her on the shoulder once, then shook Ailbe's hand, and then left the two of them alone in the suite, taking his bags. After a while the crying stopped and they sat on the couch, leaning on one another. Sniffling, Brigid said, "It's a shame, but I really think this whole thing has ruined Rome for me."

Ailbe nudged her. "What did Kennan give you?"

"Oh! I almost forgot." She picked up the box. It seemed heavy for its size. She tore the red paper off and fumbled with the lid. When she finally got it open she blinked for a few seconds, and then she laughed.

"Oh my. Look at that. He really is sweet, isn't he? In his way?" She held it out to Ailbe. "See? Just like the card."

Ailbe's breath caught in his throat. "Oh!" he said.

"It's a heart."