The First Ninety Days Ch. 16

The two of them were not ashamed to be part of the entertainment. Octapella had whipped up a fifteen-minute set, and Caitlyn would perform a duet with Meredith that the two had used on several previous occasions. As they saw it, this party was as much for their friends' benefit—perhaps more so—than their own.

The two of them arrived somewhat early, certain that things would be going frantically wrong, and were pleasantly surprised to find that nothing could be further from the case. Christa and Meredith were there, the former coordinating things with her usual efficiency, both surprised to see them there. "We called around ten-ish, but you didn't answer," Meredith said. "So we just came and did as best we could."

"Ten," Caitlyn said. When she glanced at Jon, he knew she was thinking the same thing he was.

"We were, umm..." said Jon. "Occupied."

"Naturally," said Meredith. "But so occupied that you couldn't hear the phone ring?"

"Well, actually, we'd just about worn ourselves out by that point," Caitlyn said. "We were, umm... Exploring new options."

"Oh?" said Christa, curious. "Did that, umm, other possibility finally get worked out?"

"It did," Caitlyn said, beaming. Jon found himself smiling too. He still had his reservations, but he had to admit it was thrilling while it lasted.

"What other possibility?" Meredith said.

"Well... I wanted him to dominate me," Caitlyn said. Jon felt his eyebrows make the customary climb: he hadn't thought she'd say it this publicly.

"What?" Meredith said. "How come I never heard about this?"

"I thought I told you," Christa said, startled.

Jon, grinning, left them to take a circuit around the room. Everything seemed to be coming together as they'd planned: the configuration of tables, the food, the flowers, just about everything. Of course, he might not recognize an error if he saw it; while he'd been somewhat involved, most of the details were in Caitlyn's head, or Meredith's, or Christa's. Feeling confident everything was in good hands, he went outside to begin moving the harp into position.

Eventually, guests began to arrive, some quite early, and the four of them withdrew to get their party clothes on. Caitlyn had spent the entire time chatting with the other girls, and seemed surprised (if pleased) that Jon had at least gone through the trouble of deploying the harp. "Sorry, I got a little distracted."

"Did you have a nice talk," Jon asked, smiling.

"Yeah, we, umm. We talked about a lot of things."

He saw her blush, and his smile widened. "Trading ideas?"

"Umm," she said, blushing even further. "Maybe."

They got dressed, wearing (by choice) the same thing they'd worn to their actual wedding almost three months ago. Caitlyn, looking at her husband, admired how the tuxedo brought out his height and the breadth of his shoulder; Jon, admiring his wife, noted how the dress highlighted her figure, the richness of her hair, the pale color of her eyes. Both thought to themselves,I must be the luckiest person alive.

As they drove back, Caitlyn finally broached the topic of what they'd done that morning. "So, um... How was it for you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well... You were saying that you were worried," she said. "You were saying that... You exerting power over me wasn't something you liked the idea of."

"Yeah," said Jon. "Caitlyn, power begs use. I don't... I mean, now I know I can hold you down and have my way with you in bed. What about when I start wanting to do thatoutside of bed?"

She reached to the steering wheel and placed her hand on his. "Jon. What did we do today in bed that I didn't want you to do?"

"Well... Nothing, really."

"Exactly. I wanted it, and you knew I wanted it. After that, we just had fun. And itwas fun, wasn't it?"

He thought back to his off-hand comment about holiness and how she'd almost broken character. "Yeah, it was... It was kind of fun." And then: "I was surprised at how hard you came."

"Yeah, I... I don't think I've ever come that hard in my life. But, don't you see? It'sbecause I was so turned on."

He gave her a roll of his eyes without taking them from the road.

"And... Jon, I trust you. I know you'd never push me to do something I wouldn't want to. And that'swhy I can enjoy that kind of play. Because I know that, no matter what, you still have my best interests at heart."

"Ihave pushed you to do something you wouldn't want to," he said. "Remember?"

She remembered. "Well, first off: that's why we ought to have a safe word. Obviously we didn't have time to set one up today, but we will. Second off: Jon, youdidn't push me into anything. You told me you wanted to try something, and I decided to let you."

"You said you wouldn't like it."

"I said Imight not like it," she corrected him.Okay, so I was 95% sure of that. But I love you enough to have tried it anyway. "Heck,you said you might not like it, Jon. That's why wetried it. In the end, we both didn't like it, and that was that. If it hadn't been for the other issues we were facing, we would've just shrugged and laughed it off."

"Are you sure? I thought you said you thought it was... Wrong."

She realized she probably hadn't told him the whole story. "Jon, I thought it was wrongfor us. It didn't hurt, and it wasn't uncomfortable, but I didn't... It didn't feel bad, but it didn't feelgood either. And don't think there's any way we could... Make it feel good."

He nodded. "At which point it isn't something we're really sharing, it's just... One way. And I don't like that any more than you do," he added before she could say anything.

"And, I mean, that doesn't say anything about anybody else. Maybe others can do... Sodomy... In a loving and Christ-like manner, in a way that strengthens their love. If they can, good for them; it's not my place to complain. It's only my place to say that, unless we can make it into that, unless it's something that strengthens our love instead of detracts from it, then I don't think we should do it."

"And if wecould?" he said. "If it made us stronger?"

She gave him an eye-roll. "Well, I did say, didn't I?" She wondered what such a transformation might entail. Yes, it was dirty. But wasn't that exactly the point?—that they trusted each other enough to indulge in something so sinfully wanton?And if I like feeling his cum inside me in the front, imagine how I'd feel walking around being stretched in theback!

And suddenly she had her angle.

Another thought swam at the periphery of her consciousness, circling; she made a grab at it, but missed.What was it? Something about angles. Angles as in sex? No, that wasn't it... She realized Jon was still looking at her, and forced herself to concentrate.

"In any case," she said, "even if we're playing around with domination, it's still consensual. The whole thing is consensual. That's why we have a safe word."

"But what about therest of life?" he said. "I'm glad you trust me to not hurt you, but the simple fact is that I'm not sure I trustmyself."

She gave him a concerned glance. "What, do you really have that little willpower?"

"It's not about willpower," he said, "it's just the way life works. We get frustrated with each other; you know that. But I think that, if we let ourselves 'play' like this, it will only encourage me to one day force you to do things my way—and not necessarily in bed; in fact, probably outside of it. And I just don't want to step in that particular direction."

That was fair enough, as she was concerned. "Well, then, why can't we have a safe word forthat, too? Some... I dunno. We'll set up something where, if we invoke it, we have to drop whatever we're doing and whatever we're feeling and compromise. If I think you're turning into my parents."

"Or ifI think you're turning into your parents."

"Exactly. Since, God only knows, that's what we're both scared of."

He smiled. "Let's do it. Let's find something and have it be our safe word. Let's make sure we can always step back out of the moment and take a good look around."

"Because that way, we can tie each other up to our heart's content," she said, beaming.

He gave her another ostentatious eye-roll, then stopped the car in the parking space and leaned over to kiss her.

Back at the room they'd hired, Meredith and Brandon were adding their own little touch to the proceedings. "You know how you're supposed to tink the wineglasses when you want the bride and groom to kiss?" Brandon said. "Well, the hotel staff said to please not, because that makes the wineglasses break. Shoddy glassware, I guess; we didn't have any problems atours. But, there it was. And by coincidence, we were looking around in a shop and saw that they were selling these..." He held up what he was setting copies of at each table: a little silver ribbon, with bow-tied ribbons in the wedding colors Caitlyn had chosen. "So, we thought..."

Jon glanced at Caitlyn, and she saw that her thoughts were mirrored in his head. "Save us one of these," he said.

Brandon smiled. "Souvenir?"

"No, we're going touse it," Jon said, grinning. He turned to Caitlyn. "What do you think we should call it? The Compromise Bell?"

Distantly, she saw Brandon look both amused and impressed at the same time, but her thoughts were full of that circling idea, which had suddenly snapped into full focus. "No, that's not it at all. It's not about compromise. It's about angle."

Both Jon and Brandon were looking at her. "What do you mean?"

"I mean... Look, Jon, look at what we were talking about in the car. I want you to tie me up to the bed, you want to do my ass."

Brandon guffawed. "Jeez, and here Meredith and I were thinking you two would be even more plain-vanilla than we are!"

"We could have arguments about this. Wedid have arguments about this. But now, instead of fighting some more, we're looking for ways to compromise."

"Yeah, exactly, so," said Jon. "The Compromise Bell."

"Yes, but... That's the wrong angle," she said. "Look, in any argument, you can look at it one way, which is, I have to dowhat?? She wants me to tie her up? He wants me to let me put his thingwhere? Or, you can look at it another way, which is, How can I further please my partner? What can I, out of love for my partner, do to make them even happier?"

Jon nodded. "You can be stingy or you can be giving."

"And it's all about the angle," Caitlyn said. "They're flip sides of the same coin. Clouds and silver lining. Instead of being grudging and refusing, you're looking for ways to let me be submissive to you while still keeping that behavior out-of-bounds for normal life. And instead of asking why you want to have anal sex with me, I'm looking for a way to take pleasure in it too. Because I don't want this to be something that pushes us apart. I don't want it to be something we fight over. And neither do you."

Jon nodded. "Instead of trying to get our own way, we're trying to find a way to give theother person their way. To want what they want."

Brandon summed it up for them: "Anything that pushes people apart can also draw them together."

"And sothat's what I think the bell should be for," Caitlyn said. "The Unity Bell. Not just to remind us to compromise, but to remind us to look at the situation from different angles until we can turn it into something we agree on. Because there'salways something we agree on. Let's always start there."

Brandon turned to look across the room. "Honey?" he called to Meredith. "Do we have any extras of these back home?"

As more and more guests began to arrive, the Stanfords found themselves drawn, both together and separately, into varying conversations. Many of Jon's relatives were present, with only one or two cousins absent due to educational commitments out of state, and all of Caitlyn's family was here. Many of their friends were here as well; they took particular pleasure in seeing Zach and Christa still talking to Pastor Pendleton and his wife long after the Stanfords had wandered off, and in seeing Stephanie Leyton playing with Laurelyn Chambers. The most pressing issue, though, was to introduce their parents to each other, because, despite the year-and-three-quarters their children had been together, they had never met.

Jon and Caitlyn had discussed, with a certain amount of trepidation, what they might do if things went sour. Glenn and Regina Stanford had certainly heard their share of horror stories from Jon (and a few from Caitlyn as well), and Linda and Sam Delaney had taken it upon themselves to vilify anything Jon was related to or involved in. While both sets of parents knew that peace had been declared and cooperation would be ideal, old habits die hard. And, indeed, the first few minutes were somewhat uncomfortable. Nobody had any idea what to say. But after a while, once politeness had been established, the walls began to come down.

"Is that Caitlyn's harp?" Mr. Stanford said.

"Yes, that is," Mr. Delaney said.

"We've never heard her play before," Mrs. Stanford said. "Though Jon vouches for her skill."

"She is indeed very good," said Mrs. Delaney.

"She's very talented all around," Mrs. Stanford said. "You've raised a daughter you can be proud of."

"Thank you," said Mrs. Delaney. "Heaven knows we tried."

"You should be proud of your son," Mr. Delaney said. "It, um. It couldn't have been easy, putting up with what he's experienced since he started dating our daughter. But he has persevered."

"Well, the same could be said for Caitlyn," said Mrs. Stanford. "We've never seen her exhibit anything but patience and kindness, no matter what the circumstances she was under."

"Well, that's 'cause I only show my annoyance toJon," Caitlyn said, now beginning to blush at the praise.

"Look, you guys just keep complimenting each other," Jon said, smiling. "We'll keep circulating. And I think one or both of us is supposed to start making music soon."

"Thanks for the praise, but you'll change your mind after you actually hear me playing," Caitlyn said, laughing.

Of course, that wasn't true; she did okay. (Actually, to judge by the clapping, she did quite well.) But Caitlyn attributed that more to the environs: to working with Meredith, who was an excellent musician; to being here in this place, surrounded by the people she loved; to being happier, more at peace with herself, than she'd ever been in her life. And then Jon got up with Octapella and ran their set, and that worked too; obviously, it was a different kind of music, but still well-received.

Finally, one of the hotel staff asked that the guests be seated for dinner, and Meredith (who had been asked to do so) stood to open the toasting. She had been somewhat embarrassed to be chosen for this, and her statement was short and sweet.

"Someone once told me that, if your marriage is merely formalizing what everyone knew already, you're in good shape. I'm happy to say that, in the case of Jon and Caitlyn Stanford, that's the absolute truth.

"The first time I saw them being together was, actually, at my own wedding the summer before last; they'd driven down to Mount Hill together, and had rarely parted company throughout the night. Once school began again, my friends and I were able to see them together a little more frequently, and we were able to confirm what we thought we'd seen even though it was only their first date: that the two of them were deeply in love, and—even more than that—ready tobe in love together. We all agreed that, if these two played their cards right, and didn't mess things up, they'd eventually find themselves married too. The love between them was that strong, and that obvious.

"Well, here we are," said Meredith, smiling.

"Unfortunately, a marriage is not all joy and laughter, though it certainly has its share of those. It also requires patience, love, selflessness... All the higher virtues. And Jon and Caitlyn have already undergone their own share of difficulties in the first ninety days of their union. But they are still here, stronger and—at a glance—more in love than ever. They have grown not only in love, but in wisdom. And, were we able to return here after ninety years, I have no doubt that we would find them loyal and in love still.

"To Jon and Caitlyn Stanford." Meredith raised her glass. "May your years be happy and fruitful. May the best of your past be the worst of your future."

There was a general chorus of agreement, and a clinking of glasses; and then, seemingly organic out of the process, the sound of someone tinkling one of the "smooch bells" (as Zach had called them), a sentiment which was immediately echoed by just about everyone in the room. Jon looked at Caitlyn and saw her blushing, felt his own face burning as well.How can this be? We've seen a lot more of each other, and done a lot more to each other, than just this.

Of course, that wasn't in public.

But she rolled her eyes and leaned towards him, and he kissed her long and deep, and the crowd went wild.

Even after they pulled apart, one bell went on ringing. And Jon looked out and saw Meredith hurrying over to Laurelyn Chambers, currently in the care of her grandparents and swinging a bell with happy abandon. There was laughter, and Reverend Pendleton intoned, "And a child shall lead them!"

Then, after more toasts and more smooching and more food, the DJ kicked her gear into motion, and announced the first dance of the married couple.

Jon smiled at his wife. "Shall we?"

Caitlyn giggled at her husband. "I thought our first dance as a married couple was in your bed, ninety days ago."

Jon rolled his eyes. "Maybe, but we've changed since then, and learned, and grown. Maybe we said the vows three months ago, but in some ways it is a new start."

Caitlyn thought about that, and then nodded. "At the very least, it's the beginning of 'happily ever after.' "

"Yeah."

"Though it's not going to be that easy," Caitlyn said. "We've had a taste of that. 'Happily ever after' isn't perfect. You have to learn to be more loving. I have to learn to be more self-protective. There will be fights and conflicts and times when we need to use the Unity Bell."

"I know," said Jon. "But there's no one on earth I'd rather be at one with than you."

Caitlyn smiled at her husband—a great, beaming smile of love. "I feel the same way."

Jon smiled at his wife. "Shall we?"

"And, presenting..." said the DJ into her mike. "The happy couple, Jonathan and Caitlyn Stanford!"

Jon gave her his arm, and Caitlyn took it. And together, they walked onto the floor, and into their ever after.