The Honeymoon Ch. 05

"We are so lucky," she said.

"I know," he said. "How many people get to be here? How many people get to see this?"

"Well... that too," she said. "But I meant that... That we had found each other. Think of all the people who go through life without... without ever knowing real love, or getting to be happy. Think of the people who go to thankless jobs in chilly office buildings and then come home to scream at their kids. Think of the people who have to join gangs to stay alive, whose lives are cut short in a hail of bullets, who fuck women but never love them. Think of all the things... we don't have to go through." She turned to him, put her arms around him, buried her face in his chest. "Because we have each other."

She felt his warm breath in his hair, the strength of his muscles around her. He was her fortress. She remembered what Kerri had said about the idea of marrying someone else.Who else could I have married? And how could I have been happy? Everything about him is perfect for me.

"Remember what we were talking about with Kerri and Winston," he said. "About how people show affection to each other?""Yeah."

"Well, I just noticed something. They don't say 'I love you' very often. And neither do we."

She looked up at him. "Well, we don't need to. Iknowyou love me, and you know I love you. We don't have to say it."

"I know," he said, "but I just wanted to say it anyway." He gazed down at her. "I love you." His eyes were solemn, and she realized suddenly just how much she meant it.

She gazed into his eyes, letting the same solemnity pass in her own voice. "I love you."

She felt a shiver pass through her. They had traded the rings a week ago, been in the church, heard the organ thunder as they walked down the aisle--almost exactly a week ago,she realized,it must be nearly three o'clock by now.And yet it was now--this moment, here, now, on this windswept mountain a mile closer to the eyes of God--that she felt they had truly become one.

When, finally, they relinquished each other, she noticed that his eyes were on her breasts. And when she looked down and saw her nipples pointing through, she understood why. She met his eyes and they laughed.

"It's probably the cold," she said.

"Well, that and pent-up frustration, maybe," he said. "I mean, we didn't last night."

"True." For all the sweet noises coming from the Kollaths' bedroom, her nerves hadn't been assuaged. "Well... We have some time. And there's no one else up here." She smiled.

To her surprise, he shook his head. "No. It... Not in this place. You'd freeze, and the car isn't big enough, and..." He grimaced with the effort of trying to put his thoughts into words. "It's not enough for you. I don't wanna... I don't wanna waste that moment on a tawdry shag up here."

She leaned up to kiss him.

"Though, maybe... on the hood of a car one day," he said, grinning.

She rolled his eyes and led him back to the driver's seat.

It took a couple hours to get back down to sea level, interrupted in part by more photo opportunities--the views down to the ground, and once the road itself. Clearly, no one had been along to maintain the road in some time; either that or the crew had been drunk: the double yellow line at the center was veering around like crazy, and in some cases broken and reshuffled, as though someone had chopped it up and tossed it around. It made an appealing composition (and was funny as hell besides). "Only out here," said Patrick. "On the mainland you'd be sued if you did this, but here, where everything's so laid-back..."

They found a beach to romp on, with Amanda protesting at first that they hadn't brought swim suits. Patrick just smiled at her and said, "So?" and she decided he had a point. But Patrick wanted to relax a little after the hours of hard driving he'd put in, so he reclined his chair back and stretched out a little. And Amanda, thankful they hadn't brought the top back down yet after their descent from the mountain, leaned over and unzipped him. She knew that if anyone came by, they'd see her, but she decided she didn't care; besides, there didn't seem to be anyone around. (Why? Shouldn't the beaches be full of tourists, or at least locals? She didn't know; and after a moment, she decided not to question their magic luck.) She was still new at this, but it didn't take long before he was coming, his seed going down her throat. It was a tricky angle, but she locked eyes with him the entire time, intensely conscious of his body (she could feel nothing else but his hands on her hair, the tension in his legs, that warm shaft in her mouth) but focused on his face, on the love in his eyes, the pleasure in his mouth, and knew that, once again, they were one.

Back in the suite, they found that the remains of breakfast were still out on the table, suggesting that Kerri and Winston had gone straight back to their room after being left alone. Laughing, they started stacking the dishes for return to the room-service people, and the clatter brought their friends out. Winston was wearing shorts, Kerri one of his button-downs, and both of them had returned to their disgustingly chipper selves.

"Did you guys have fun at... wherever you went?" Kerri asked.

"We just wandered around," said Patrick with a shrug. "It was good to have some time alone." He smiled. "And you two?"

"We-elll..." said Kerri, grinning.

Winston wasn't so reticent. "You were right," he chortled, "there weretonsof things we didn't know about each other. Like, I found that if you tickle her in--"

"Winnie!" Kerri exclaimed, giving him a slap on the arm. To Amanda's surprise, she had gone bright red.

"I guess you guys had fun, then," Amanda said, not bothering to hide a smile. "And got some of your problems worked out?"

"Well, some of them," Kerri said. "I mean, it's hard to just change direction entirely after years, you know? But we found out wecanchange direction, and we weren't sure about that at all, so... Win!" She grinned.

"Well, good, 'cuz, you realize that our flight home leaves tomorrow," Patrick said.

Kerri and Winston gaped at him. So did Amanda.Wait, seriously?! It's been a week already? We got married on... Oh, right, Friday. A week ago today. So that means that...

"Aww, man!" Kerri said. "Party-pooper. God, I feel like we wasted this entire honeymoon."

"I don't," said Amanda.

"Seriously?" said Kerri. "I mean... Jeez. Isn't it supposed to be like this wonderland snuggle fest where you're just drunk on love and life and sex and, and everything's perfect? Instead, we kept having all these problems."

"Yes," Amanda said, "and that's why I don't feel like we wasted it. Kerri, think for a minute. The problems you had with Winston, and the problems Patrick and I had: they would've happened eventually. No matter what. Right?"

"Oh,Isee where you're going with this," said Winston, smiling.

"So I'm glad they happened now," Amanda said. "Now, when we had plenty of time to focus on them and to really get things right. I learned what it's like to be married to Patrick, andhowto be married to Patrick. And I'm glad I got to do that here, where there was nothing else we had to focus on. Imagine if I had to do this after we all got home and were working 8 hours a day! We'dstillbe sexless!"

"Which would suck," said Winston.

"Itwouldsuck," Amanda agreed. "So I'm glad that we had this chance to get our marriage off on the right foot. I mean, isn't that basically what the honeymoon's for?"

Kerri looked at her husband. "How come she's givingusadvice? What happened to the girl who needed so much help a week ago?"

Winston grinned. "Well, what goes around comes around, or so they say. Clearly, the kindness we did her has come back to us."

"And that begs another question, too," Kerri said. "What are we gonna do with our remaining... eighteen hours here?"

"You mean, besides eat and sleep?" said Winston. "It's 5 PM, you know."

"Whatdopeople do on the one-week anniversary of their wedding?" Kerri asked. "Amanda?"

"W-what?" said Amanda. "Me?"

"Well, you seem to have all theotheranswers," Kerri said with an ingenious giggle. "I thought you might be able to help here too."

"I... Not with this," Amanda said. "I know that for the one-year anniversary you're supposed to take that bit of cake down and eat it, but it hasn't been a year and we don't have it here anyway."

"Well, I've got something," said Winston. "We haven't gotten to spend a lot of time all together this week--mostly it's been pairs of everyone just going off to do whatever. Why don't we all hang out as a gang tonight, for once. It'll be fun."

"But no glasses of water this time," Kerri cautioned, waggling her finger like a scolding mother. "Unless you want me to respond in kind."

"Ooh," said Winston, "wet T-shirt contest?"

"Ha, she'd win," said Kerri and Amanda, at the same time. They glanced at each other with astonished looks before dropping into giggles.

Patrick gave both of them a mock glower. "What if we got a picnic dinner and ate out on the beach?"

"Do theymakepicnic dinners?" said Winston.

"...Well, one way to find out!" Patrick said. "We're gonna go down to the front desk, ladies. Try not to start a wet T-shirt contest without us."

"Are you kidding?" Kerri exclaimed. "If we waited 'til you got back..."

"Winston would beat all of us," Amanda said.

Winston looked down at himself. Patrick looked at Winston's chest. Then they traded eyerolls and disappeared, one after another, out into the hall. Amanda took the opportunity to lean in and whisper something in Kerri's ear. She had an idea, something she wanted to surprise Patrick with. When Kerri heard it, she squealed and practically jumped up and down in her excitement--evidently she thought it was a good idea--and promised to help her get it done.

Patrick had a hunch that the two of them were up to something--Amanda had always been fairly good about keeping secrets, but Kerri wore her heart on her sleeve, and she kept leaning over to giggle in Amanda's ear--but he wasn't entirely sure what. Maybe Amanda had said something really really funny. Or maybe Kerri just had sand in some inappropriate place.

The beach was basically as crowded as it ever got, despite it being the hour of the evening meal, and keeping sand out of his food was more tricky than he'd expected, but it was fun to be here: out under this azure sky, the endless waves like the breath of a parent, the sun on its proud parade towards the horizon, already beginning to streak the sky with banners of red. Here in this pleasant place, with the laughter of friends in his ear, with some of his favorite people in the world.

Still, it didn't surprise him when Amanda fabricated some excuse to go back up to the room--something about it being that time of the month--and Kerri managed to go with her. What did surprise him was how long it was before Kerri returned (alone, of course) and beckoned him to return. "She says she's okay, but she wants you to come up."

"Uh oh," said Patrick, playing the role of the clueless husband. "Is she all right? Should I get medical help?"

"No, it's nothing like that, she just wants her big strong man up there with her," said Kerri. How she managed to say this with a straight face, Patrick would never know. But Patrick, dutiful to the last, went upstairs to help out his "distressed" wife, wondering all the while what he'd find. Opening the front door yielded no answers: there was nothing in the living room but a folded piece of paper with an arrow pointing at their bedroom door.

Behind it was his bride.

The lace and pearl beading were turned out perfectly, completely untouched (or so it seemed) by their week-long respite in the closet. The dress was perfect white, except for touches of pale pink here and there. They had found her a bouquet somewhere, sprays of dewdrop white with pink roses tucked between, somehow the perfect color. Her hair was up in the same upswept elegant knot she had worn a week ago; she had even put on her veil, a film of gauze across her face.

She was beautiful--the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. He was suddenly aware of his clothes, so shabby by comparison (sandals, an olive T-shirt, well-worn shorts). And kindled in him was a sense of unworthiness: how could he possibly measure up to this vision of loveliness? This was the woman he had married, in all her glory and splendor; he had agreed to be tender to her, and provide her with succor, and be her shelter and her strength for all the years to come. In this moment he could not say that he would succeed. The task was just too great. And yet he must try, for to fail her would be the greatest regret of his life.

All this flashed through his head in a kaleidoscopic instant, during which time Amanda Elizabeth Greer blinked once.

"Hi," she said in a shy voice.

"Hi," he said.

"We... I hope you're not offended," she said.

"Shocked, more like," he said.

"I just... Do you remember where we were a week ago?" she said.

"At the reception." He thought back into that whirlwind day. "...Eating, probably. Or maybe having our first dance."

She nodded. "And do you remember what happened... After? When we had our, err,otherfirst dance?"

Of course he did. It had been a difficult night--patches of terror and exhilaration, tangled. Some of it had been worse than his nightmares. Some of it had exceeded his dreams. "I could hardly forget."

"Well, I'd like to." She gave a self-deprecating huff. "I wasn't ready, and I didn't know what to do, and I made it... Terrible."

His compassion aroused, he said, "I wouldn't call itthatbad."

"I would," she said.

There was no answer he could make to that.

"And so... I thought the best gift I could give you... Would be to do it again," she said. "And do it right this time. And... Make a real, true start to our marriage."

"Baby, you don't have to do this for me," he said. "Everything that we've done... Well, I mean, it doesn't matter, does it? I married you. It doesn't matter what happens between us. Even if sex is miserable, I promised to love you forever. And I meant it." His hand caressed her cheek, cradling her. "And I mean it still. There's no choice in the matter. I love you."

She reached up to hold his hand against her. "It's not just for you," she said. "Ineed to... All the things I thought were true turned out to be wrong, and you had to wait through it. You had to sit and be patient while I got myself turned around, and I don't... I can't be okay with that. You're my husband. There's nothing more important in the world than that. Whatever needs to be done to please you... There's no choice in the matter."

He said nothing, his eyes steady on hers.

"What I want," she said, "is to be perfect for you."

"Well," he said, "you already are." And, gently, he drew her up to him and kissed her mouth.

For a long time they stood there, kissing silently in the slanting sunlight--lip on lip, breath on breath, tongue on tongue. Though he was so much taller than her, she had never felt that he might hurt her, or even that he could. In his arms, in his presence, she was safe; there was nothing that could harm her while he stood near.

Finally he eased away to look at her: clear brown eyes, flawless pale skin, a button nose, the single dimple that appeared when she smiled. "I dreamed of this day for... It seems like forever."

"Well, you don't have to dream of it any longer," she said. She put her arms around him, let her body melt against his. "Tonight, all of it is yours. From now on I belong to you--totally and completely."

"Totally and completely," he said. "Everything?"

"Everything."

There was a mischievous gleam in his eye. "Even anal?"

She struggled to maintain a straight face. "It would please me to please you," she said, while thinking privately to herself that he would never, there was no way. He wouldn't bethatcrazy. ...Would he? And a part of her was curious too. She couldn't say whether she wouldlikeit, if they tried it--if they dared--but if he was there, it would be fun--and wasn't that all that mattered?

Still, there was dignity to uphold. "Nonetheless, it might be wise to keep things simple. After all, we're just starting out... and I have a lot to learn."

"That's true," he said, considering his wife. "It might be smarter to start out simple." Was she really planning to role-play things out to that level?--to pretend that it really was their first night together? But then he realized that, to her, it probably wasn't that far of a reach. For all the confidence she had gained over the last week, for all that she'd learned, the whole business of lovemaking was still new to her. Anal sexwasout of the question, that much was clear; and there were a lot of other things he'd have to ease her into. She might be playing the role of the nervous young virgin... but the place where playing ended and reality began wasn't that far away. The act was false. The underlying nerves were not.

"Besides," he said, to give her nervous-virgin act another boost, "we've got enough to explore already."

"We do?" she said.

"All of each other? I'd say that's a fair amount."

She gave a tentative smile. "I guess. You know you'll have to walk me through a lot of it."

"I can hardly wait," he said. Which was, of course, the unbridled truth.

Kissing her again, he led her back towards the bed. "First, though, we gotta figure out how to unhook you from this astonishing work of art," he said. "It's too beautiful to ruin."

"And too expensive," she grumped. "Even if I'm only gonna wear it once in my life, the last thing I wanna do is ruin it."

"Then what say we slip you into something more comfortable?"

She gave him a smirk. "What, like, nothing?"

"Well, the thought had crossed my mind," he said, managing to look at least a little guilty.

"It's gonna take more than that to convince me, honey," she said. The smirk was full on by now. "You're gonna have to give me more."

So he kissed her--what else could he do? Kissed her well, and thoroughly, leaning into her, drawing her up to him, and then beginning to kiss his way around her jaw, down her neck, around her ears. At the same time he attempted to liberate her from her wedding dress. This was harder than anything he had ever had to do in the Marines, because the dress seemed to be attached to her with superglue and a forest of interweaving straps. He fumbled for several minutes, sensing her growing amusement, before giving up. "Who designed this contraption?!"

She gave him a sly smile and reached up behind her with one hand. Suddenly the straps lost all tension and sagged away. "That's to keep unruly husbands from trying anything during the reception." The entire bodice of the dress was loose now, held up only by the stiffness of the material itself, liable (it seemed) to fall off at a touch. The front of the bodice cupped her breasts, and it seemed she might pop out if she breathed too deeply. It was funny to find that so tantalizing: after all, he had seen her naked already, and more.

"What else am I going to find," he said, averting his gaze before he started drooling, "a chastity belt?"

The smirk. "Maybe. I don't just give myself to anyone, you know. You have to earn it."

"Hmm. Well, if that's my fate..." he said, and got back to work.

He had always loved her ears--they were unblemished and perfectly dainty. He bent to them now, nibbling, caressing, stroking with his tongue. She loved for him to play with her earring hole; he had no idea why, but what point was there in questioning it? He gave it time and attention, knowing he had to play this out in the grand manner, knowing that she was teasing him. She wanted him to pretend it was their very first time? He could do that.