The Huge Member

And that's how the fight started."

I got a lot of laughs, but the biggest thing for me was the kick I got from standing up in front of everyone and performing. I liked it so much that I started doing it almost every open mike night. It got to the point where Bobby would say something like:

"I see that Wally Meyers is here tonight. Got anything you would like to share with us Wally?"

I always did. I didn't write or make up my own jokes, but I did search them out and then used the ones I really liked. It wasn't always good. Some times a joke I liked enough to tell was a real stinker as far as the crowd was concerned. The crowd let me know when they didn't like a joke, but all that did was make me more determined to make sure that I had them rolling in the aisles the next time.

So from my point of view life was good. Right up to the night when Julie changed everything.

++++++++++++++++++++++

It started at the dinner table. We had just finished eating the meal and were starting on dessert -- strawberry shortcake if it matters -- when Julie said the seven words that usually cause as man's asshole to tighten up as he gets ready to hear something that he knows he isn't going to like.

"Honey, you know I love you right?"

The correct response to that is to get up and run from the room, but the correct response isn't an acceptable response so I said what was expected of me.

"Of course I do Julie. You should know that by now. What brings up the question?"

"I don't believe I've ever mentioned Jake Holder to you. No reason to really. He is just a guy who works in my office. Anyway, Jake is pretty much the office Casanova. He has dated all the single girls in the office and even a couple of the married ones. The thing is, according to the girls he has gone out with, he has an extremely large member. Gail said she measured it and it is eleven inches long."

"And we are talking about Jake's huge member at our dinner table because?"

She was silent for a couple of seconds and then she said, "The thing is that it's my turn."

"Your turn to what?"

"To go out with Jake. He wants me to have dinner with him Friday."

I just stared at her. After several seconds I said, "Having dinner with him is a euphemism for fucking him right?"

She looked away and didn't answer.

"So let me get this straight. You are telling me about this because you intend to do it or you are bringing it up to see if I will give you permission? Which is it Julie?"

She wouldn't look at me as she said, "It won't hurt us Wally. It would only be the one time and it would only be sex. There wouldn't be any love or affection involved. I love you and I would never leave you for anyone else. I would just be satisfying my curiosity."

"And what curiosity would that be?"

"I've never had a really big one."

"I can't believe this."

"I swear it won't hurt us Wally. It never did any of the other times."

"Other times? You have been cheating on me?"

"I mean before we got married. Every time we broke up it was so I could satisfy my curiosity and once I'd satisfied it I always came back to you."

"All those fake arguments were just so you could satisfy a curiosity? Just for the hell of it why don't you tell me about them?"

"Why? They are all in the past."

"You satisfied your curiosity and now I want to satisfy mine."

"I don't want to go there Wally."

"So what you are saying is that it is okay for you to satisfy your curiosity, but not okay for me to satisfy mine?"

"It isn't that Wally. I'm just not all that proud of what I did."

"And what you did was?"

"I just wanted to try other guys Wally. I didn't want to get married and settle down and then wonder what others might have been like. I decided to satisfy my curiosity while I was still single. But I always came back to you Wally. I was always yours."

"I guess it didn't work."

"What didn't work?"

"Getting all your curiosity out of the way before getting married."

"I don't understand."

"Sure you do Julie. Here you are, married seven years, and wanting to fuck this Jake guy because you are curious. You never did answer my question."

"What question?"

"I asked if you brought it up at the dinner table to ask my permission or if you were telling me what you intended to do."

She didn't answer me.

"Come on Julie; not a hard question. Are you asking or telling?"

She still wouldn't look at me as she said, "I might have led him to believe I would have dinner with him."

"That wasn't so hard now, was it?"

I got up to leave the table and she asked, "Where are you going?"

"To the bedroom. I need to move my things into one of the spare bedrooms. I'll stay there until I can find an apartment."

"No Wally, no!"

"Yes Julie, yes. I told you before we got married that I had a zero tolerance policy where other men were concerned. I even said that under my policy flirting wasn't allowed. You have gone way beyond flirting Julie. Making a dinner date with the office Romeo because -- how did you put it -- it was your turn to have his huge cock was way, way over the line."

"But I didn't make a dinner date with him. I just led him to believe that I might be able to. I wasn't going to do anything without talking to you first."

"Bullshit Julie. If you led him to believe it that tells me that you want to do it and if you want to do it sooner or later you will. If not at Friday night's so called dinner then at some other time. And just where in the hell did you get the idea that you could bring this up to me and I would say, "Oh sure Julie; just go ahead and have a good time." What the hell did I ever do to give you that low of an opinion of me?"

"I don't have a low opinion of you Wally. I just thought th..."

"No you didn't Julie. If you had given it any thought at all you would have known better. If you had given it any thought you wouldn't have brought it up and would have gone ahead and cheated on me behind my back. Well look on the bright side Julie. I'm out of your life as of now so you are free to go ahead and have your turn with the man with the big member."

I walked away and left her there, went upstairs and moved into one of the spare bedrooms.

++++++++++++++++

It took me two days to find an apartment that I liked and for those two days I avoided Julie and her attempts to get me to sit down and talk with her. The night I moved my stuff out of the house Julie cried and begged me not to leave. She grabbed my arm and held on to it and tried to pull me back into the house until I shrugged her off and left.

The next morning I hit the bank and cleaned out all of our accounts. We lived in a no fault state so Julie would get half of everything in a divorce, but there wasn't going to be a divorce at least not one initiated by me. We each had our own credit cards so I didn't have to do anything there. I'd taken myself away from Julie and that is all that I was going to do.

I moved into my new apartment and into a self inflicted exile. I was in too rotten a mood to have anything to do with anybody so all I did was go to work and then go home to watch TV or read books I'd gotten from the library.

Julie called me at work two or three times a day, but I never took the calls. I told Marsha, my secretary, to just tell Julie I wasn't going to take her calls and to stop calling. Marsha smiled at me and said:

"If I did that I wouldn't be able to tease her."

"Tease her?"

"Last time she called I told her that when you and I were at lunch I'd try to get you to call her. Yesterday the last call I got from her was around four and I told her that you and I would be stopping for drinks after work and if there was an opening in the conversation I'd mention to you that she was anxious to talk with you."

"Why would you do something like that?"

"To prepare her for when you and I get together."

"We are going to get together?"

"We will if I can make it happen."

"What am I missing here?"

"I've wanted you since the day I came to work for you, but you were married and I'm not a home wrecker so I just put you down on the list of things I wanted, but could never have. Suddenly you and the wife are on the outs so I'm thinking I might just have a chance after all."

"You are serious?"

"You bet."

Before we could go any farther the phone rang and Marsha answered it.

"It's Barton. He wants to see you in his office."

As I walked away from her desk I was thinking that I just might give her the chance she wanted.

Besides calling me at work Julie called my cell several times a day, but as with the calls to the office I never took any of them.

We had a security guard on the front desk and he was a good friend of mine. Danny had gone into the Army right out of high school and had lost a foot to an IED in Iraq. He was having trouble finding work and I had gotten him the security guard job. I told him about my split with Julie and that she might attempt to come up to my office and that I didn't want to see her. He told me that she wouldn't get by him and I knew that he meant it.

Three times she tried to get past Danny, but wasn't able to do it. Danny even went so far as to watch the parking lot and let me know when she was there waiting for me to get off work. Being forewarned I was able to avoid her.

Three weeks later I was having lunch at Mario's with my boss when Julie and a guy came in and took a table up toward the front. I was sitting in the back and she didn't see me. About a minute later two more guys came in and joined Julie. I knew one of them from her company Christmas parties and picnics and when Sam got up to use the bathroom I got up and followed him in. Sam recognized me and said hi and I asked him who the guy was that Julie was sitting with.

"His name is Jake Holder. Why?"

"Just curious. I don't really like the way he is looking at her."

I finished taking my whiz, washed my hands and went back to my table thinking that Julie had hooked up with the guy with the huge cock and satisfied her curiosity. Sam apparently mentioned seeing me in the men's room and Julie looked around and spotted me. Fortunately Barton and I were done and were ready to leave. Julie got up and headed our way and I told Barton I'd see him back at the office and then I got up and headed for the back door.

Julie caught up with me before I could get out of the restaurant and she grabbed my arm as she said:

"Damn it Wally, talk to me. I didn't do anything Wally; honest to God I didn't do anything."

"Maybe you didn't Julie, but then again maybe you did. I don't know. What I do know is that you damned sure wanted to and with me gone there wasn't anything to stop you. Why did you get up from your table to chase me? Isn't Mr. Huge Member going to be pissed at you for getting up and leaving him there?"

"Jesus Wally; we are only here for lunch."

"And it was only going to be dinner the last time we talked except we both know that it wasn't, don't we."

I jerked my arm away from her and took off running knowing that she wouldn't come running after me while wearing high heels.

That was the last time I'd seen her until she had shown up at the strip that night. We had one more drink at the Red Fox and then the guys took me home.

+++++++++++++++++++

The next day at eleven-thirty Marsha came into my office and said, "I think you should take me to lunch and we can talk about what we want to do tomorrow night."

"Tomorrow night?"

"It is Friday and Friday night is party night."

"So?"

"I told you that we would be getting together if I could make it happen and since you haven't made any attempt I decided that it was going to be up to me."

"Have you forgotten that I'm a married man?"

"Who is not living with his wife and who won't take her phone calls or have anything to do with her?"

"I'm sill married and until I'm not I will honor the vows I took at my wedding. A little old fashioned maybe, but that's the way I'm wired."

"You can still take me to lunch and we can talk and get to know each other better so when you are single again we will have a good idea of whether or not we want to take things farther."

It was an enjoyable lunch and I learned enough about Marsha that I would indeed be interested -- very interested -- in seeing her when I started dating again.

I survived the weekend with the help of Ben, Dave and Chuck. We played golf on Saturday and went out bar hopping that night. Sunday I took care of all the housekeeping chores like cleaning the apartment, doing my laundry and grocery shopping.

I took Marsha to lunch again on Monday and was in a pretty good mood when I got home from work. The good mood only lasted until I got out of my car and saw Julie sitting on the front steps of my apartment.

"How in the hell did you find me?"

"I followed you home from work last Thursday. I sit out here in the lot most nights trying to work up the nerve to ring your doorbell."

"You had nerve enough to tell me that you were going to fuck another man and that took a hell of a lot more nerve than ringing a doorbell. Why the hell are you here Julie?"

"I'm here to beg you to come home. My life sucks without you Wally. I need you."

"You need me? What happened to Mr. Huge Member?"

"There was nothing going on with me and Jake."

"So seeing you at lunch with him and seeing you come into the Strip with him were just figments of my imagination?"

"In the first place I wasn't having lunch with Jake. I was having lunch with Sam, Alex, Mary Ellen, Alice and Jake. Mary and Alice just hadn't shown up yet. Secondly I was not out on a date with Jake that night at the Landing Strip. You wouldn't take my phone calls and you were ducking me at work so I asked people that we know to call me whenever they saw you some place. Alma Beeker called me and told me that you were at the Landing Strip and I called Jake and arranged for him to meet me there and then we were going to talk to you. Jake was there to tell you that nothing had happened between us. Honest to God Wally, nothing happened."

"That's not the problem Julie. The problem is that you wanted it to happen. The problem is that you had so low an opinion of me that you even harbored the thought that I'd just smile and tell you to go ahead and have fun. All our time together and you don't know me any better than that?"

"Okay. I'll admit to some fuzzy thinking and yes I wanted to, but not behind your back. I told you that Jake had done most of the single girls and two of the married ones right? Glenda was one of the married ones and one morning during our coffee break Jean asked Glenda how she could cheat on her husband with Jake. Glenda said she didn't cheat. She told her husband about Jake and said she wished that she would have had a chance at trying out a big cock before she got married and settled down. Her husband asked her if she loved him and she told him of course she did and then he told her to go ahead and play with Jake, but make damned sure that she came home to him.

"I thought about that for a couple of days and then I decided that it wouldn't hurt us if I brought up the subject and sounded you out on it. You know damned well that I love you and would never leave you. I know you love me -- at least you did until that night -- and I was going to see if you would let me go and play like Glenda's husband let her. You got up and stormed out before I could make my case."

"And just what was your case?"

"That it would only be sex to satisfy my curiosity. That it wouldn't change how I felt about you. I wasn't going to do it unless you were okay with it."

"That's bullshit Julie. You had already set up a meeting for Friday night."

"No I didn't. I led him to believe that I would, but I told him that it all depended on you. I told him that if you did what Glenda's husband did I would have dinner with him. I did lead him to believe that you would probably go along with it, but I wouldn't commit until I knew for sure."

"You led him to believe I would go along with it?"

"I had hopes Wally. You knew about all I'd done before we got married and you married me anyway. I had hopes that you loved me enough and were secure enough in our love for each other that you might have told me to go ahead and enjoy myself and hurry home."

"And just suppose I did Julie. What would happen then? What if this Jake character and his huge member turned you on so much that you would be willing to throw your marriage into the trash just so you could stay with him?"

"I'd never do that Wally. How could you even think of such a thing?"

"That's one of the problems Julie. I don't know that you would never do such a thing. Neither do you. You say that you have never had a big cock so how do you know how you would react? Another problem is how would things be with us if you did do it. I'd be making love to you never knowing if you were wishing it was Jake or not. Never knowing if you were imaging it being Jake fucking you. Never knowing if you would rather be with Jake instead of there with me. Wondering if I was able to satisfy you after you had tried a big one. Never knowing if you were faking orgasms because my cock just didn't do it for you any more after having Jake's big one in you.

"You can pooh-pooh those things all you want Julie, but the fact of the matter is that you can't know for sure. If any of those things happened it would change the marriage Julie. It would change it in ways we have no idea about. Think about this Julie. I have curiosity also. My secretary has a marvelous looking ass and I've often wondered about what it would be like to tap it. What if I did and she was so damned good that I decided to stick with her rather than come home to you? Or what if I did it and then came home to you. Would you wonder if it was you I was making love to or would you wonder if I was thinking of Marsha?"

"I'd scratch the bitch's eyes out!"

"Whoa up there Julie. You are trying to convince me that fucking Jake would be okay and that it wouldn't hurt us, but me doing the same thing would have you going after Marsha? Got some idea now of how I feel?"

"All of this talk is just wasting time Wally. I haven't done Jake and I'm not going to do Jake. Yes I wanted to, but not at the cost of losing you. Please Wally, come home to me. Please."

"I don't know Julie. I just don't know. You have put the thoughts I'm having in my head and I doubt that they will ever go away"

"What thoughts?"

"Now that you know my position I'm thinking that the next time your curiosity rears its ugly head you won't bring it up. You will just go ahead and do it behind my back and trust that I will never find out. I don't think you want to live a life where I'm constantly watching you and what you do to see if maybe you are doing something you shouldn't be doing."

"I'll just have to make sure that you always know where I am and what I am doing."

"That just works against you Julie. I'll be wondering what you are doing that you are working so hard to hide. What you did Julie was kill my trust in you and you can never get it back. There will always be something that happens that will make me wonder. A simple thing like a flat tire on the way home from work that makes you later then usual. Was it really a flat tire or did you stop at a motel for a quickie with Jake? Or maybe not even a motel, but a quickie on a desk at work after every one else has left the office. Even if you take me out to the car and show me the flat tire in the trunk I'd wonder if you let the air out just to give you cover. That's what life would be like for you Julie."

"I can live with it Wally as long as I'm with you."

"The problem Julie is that I don't know that I can live like that."

"We have to try Wally. Please. We have to try."

"I don't know Julie; it is something that I will have to think on."