- Erotic Horror
- The Island
- Page 3
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A thousand miles to the west, seventeen-year-old Johnny Greenbow awoke with a start. A descendant of a long line of shamans reaching back centuries before the Europeans had arrived on this land, fear and resolve flooded his body simultaneously. Johnny whispered an ancient prayer over and over again until his trembling body became still. His grandfather on his mother's side had been preparing and teaching and training him all his life for this moment, a moment which Johnny had prayed would never come.
She has awoken.
- COMMENTS
JBmanly50about 10 years agoThe suspense was good and the imagery very well done. This is the third story I have read by this author, starting with his most recent and working backwards. If I had started with this story, I doubt that I would have read another, but then I wouldn't have started with a horror story if I wanted to get off.
I plan on reading more because the first two were so captivating that I want to experience the same thrill that this author has engendered in me.
JBManly50
SecondCirclealmost 11 years agoI liked your descriptions and wordplay. This almost seems like an ominous prelude to something more. I think maybe it could have used a few more details to help develop the underlying story about the island and the shaman and all, but it does add a creepy air of mystery to it all.
The buildup around the house may have been distracting or unnecessary to some, but I thought incorporating the house and the eerie sights and misleading sounds within were still enough to build a little suspense to set the tone. I was sorta waiting for Rachel to hurt his junk, and for the sake of realism I'm glad you went that way.
I'm not sure if this will be continued, but if so I'd say your story will play itself out nicely. If not, just feed a few more explanatory details here and there in creative ways with your future projects. Good job. Keep going.
Anonymousalmost 11 years agoSpine tingling. Can't decide if if want more or if it is best left to the individual imagination. Well done.
