The Lamb and the Shepherdess

Euw! You did not just, Doc, I think. Oh yes she did, Molly thinks back. My shoes are on. I get a mirror to check my face, but I don't really want to look at me, though it's not like I can look at Patty now either. Then Molly insists I check my hair. So I do and, other than an unusual pallor to my face, I look fine.

"But, you know Charlotte," my doctor continues, "you might want to find someone to talk to about how often you masturbate."

I stand and I meet her gaze then.

"Excuse me?" I say.

Dr. Patty walks to the counter and starts to flick through the pages of the clipboard.

"Well," she says, "you just reported two sessions. Prior to that, you indicated having a partner also last night and the use of a marital aid. And, I see here that you have a history of compulsive, thrice daily masturbation."

Fucking doctors.

7

I walk through the automatic doors of the Hartford Hospital emergency room reception area and I see Tobia sitting with a clipboard on her lap next to a little girl with half her face swollen, her mom sitting beside her applying an ice pack. I'm doing my knuckle tapping and counting thing and I see that Tobia has realized my presence. She smiles, excuses herself, and then finds her way to me.

"Hi." She says, still smiling and tapping her pen against her clipboard.

"Hi." I respond and then look around to determine whether anyone is listening to our conversation.

"Charlotte, last night was totally amazing."

"Yes, uhm, that was really nice of you to say. Look, yeah, about that."

I pull the marble out of my pocket and show her. Then I look at Toby and whisper:

"Do you happen to recall if last night you inserted this into my, uh, you know, down there?"

Tobia looks at the ball of blue glass, furrows her brow, glances to the most proximal area of the emergency waiting area, returns her gaze to me and says:

"I definitely did not put that in your, noonchie."

I suddenly turn bright red.

"Oh my god, you call it noonchie too?"

"Uh, no. I called it that because that's what, you call it and I thought that was cute."

Tobia smiles. Oh my god. She's adopted my pussy's pet name.

"Okay, so you've never seen this marble, before?"

"No. Never."

"Hmm. Oh my."

"Why?"

"Why?"

"Yes. Why?"

"Uh, silly, because it's like I told you. It was in my, you know."

"Ah ha. Well, maybe you put it there."

"I didn't, put it there."

"How do you know?"

"What the heck do you mean how do I know!?!"

"Well, I'm just saying, you're pretty hot to trot."

"Uh, no, I don't know."

Again, Tobia scans the emergency waiting room around us, turns to face me again and says:

"You, Charlotte Louise Hazelgrove, are one dirty little slut. "

Oh my god, I think as I tuck the marble back into my pocket.

"You, are insatiable."

Oh, my, freaking, god.

"You, are an animal."

I shiver.

"Okay I have to be running along now." I say, stepping away.

"Wait." Says Toby as she suddenly grabs my elbow, "Let's get some dinner tonight. Maybe we can order some take-out?"

With wide eyed fear, I stare at Toby's hand on my elbow. I pull it way. WTF, I didn't sleep with this woman. The Slut did and now I have to deal with the fall out! Molly, I think. Help me Molly!

"Uh, yeah, well, I don't eat take-out. Actually, to be honest, I eat dog food."

"Dog food?"

"Yep, dog food, cat food, fish food and even sometimes, rabbit food. Yes ma'am and I, as you know, am like really OCD, but here's something yu don't know. I have disassociative identity disorder and I have like five alters. You know what alters are, right, personalities you turn into without realizing you've turned into them?"

A blush rises in Tobia's cheeks and she looks away. I take a step back. I feel better.

"Okay so, if you really want to come over, I'll be obsessively preparing a can or two of Purina Cat Chow and a couple Gain's Burgers-"

My back is to the sliding exit and I'm still prattling on.

"But, I can't promise Charlotte will be there because, you know, it might be one of her alters, because you never know when any of us will want to pop out and run the show, I mean, run me, the show. I'm, the show. See you later! Bye!"