To Have Her Cake And Eat It, Too

Note from the author: This is my first attempt at writing a fictional short story in over 15 years. I'm actually working on another one, a much bigger project, but thought it would be a good idea to write a few smaller vignettes and get some honest input and criticism. My writing is rusty, to say the least. There may be some tense issues and missed opportunities for better descriptions, etc, but I do think this story is pretty cute (biased). Please, let me know what you think and what I can do to get better!

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"Elizabeth! Please!! If you don't do this, I'm screwed!"

Steven Duncan had been pleading with me for nearly an hour. Tonight was his brother, Richard's, bachelor party and Steven was his best man. Steven was also my best friend. We'd grown up on the same street together; hung out practically every day from kindergarten through high school.

"The stripper we hired is sick, Liz! And the agency doesn't have any more girls available tonight. I don't have time to call another one so please, please do this one thing for me!" Steve was on his knees, eyes pleading.

"You want me to strip stark naked? You know I could never do that, Stevie. I hate my body! My tits are too big. People won't like them."

At an early age, my breasts began developing at an accelerated pace. It was so fast, I was a C-cup by the time I was a freshman in high school. Now, here it is six years later and they'd practically tripled in size.

"People are going to love your body, Liz! Your tits are fine. Let me fill you in on a secret. Most guys like 'em big!"

I knew Stevie was just saying these things to make me feel good, but he didn't understand the big picture. I am very self-conscious. It's why, in all our years knowing each other, he had never seen me naked. My tits are just far too large for my thin waist and in my opinion, it makes me disproportionate. But that's not the worst of it! You've heard of silver-dollar sized areolas? Well, double that. My gigantic areolas and large nipples easily cover half my breasts.

Steve continued, "No one is going to know it's you, Liz. I have a Mardi Gras mask you can wear. I told you, it's the theme of the party. "

"I know. You said it a thousand times already!" I let out a scream and clenched my fists!

Did he think I was deaf? I simply wasn't giving Stevie an answer, because I had been thinking about it for such a long time. I had to consider this. How couldn't I? Stevie had helped me through so many jams in our history, like when he tutored me for my Calculus final, or the time he helped rush my dad to the hospital and that was only a few months ago. Stevie was genuine, the real deal. He went out of his way to help others, especially me, and I hated being in a position to return the gratitude, only to flake out because of my selfish, self-conscious behavior. I owed him. I also knew how much it meant to him. He would feel terrible if he let the boys down.

I took a deep breath and quietly said, "Go get the mask. I'll do it."

Steve jumped nearly two feet in the air and grabbed my cheeks, squeezing and kissing the pouty lips he'd formed.

"Oh, thank you! Thank you! You just saved my ass!"

"I have one condition," I said. "I know all the guys coming to this bachelor party every bit as well as you do. They better not ever find out it was me doing this! I also know they're going be on their worst behavior. Regardless, I don't want you involved. No trash-mouth! No funny business! And you better not get all pervy on me. I don't want this to ruin our relationship!"

"Oh, you're over-thinking it," he said. "I promise I won't even look at you when I can help it. Eyes off. I know you're just doing a job here. You're totally helping me out of this jam!"

Steve ran out of the living room and appeared not ten seconds later with an orange and purple mask. Brightly-colored feathers popped out above the right eyepiece ad the face of it, was very large! Steve hadn't been exaggerating. No one would recognize the person behind the mask.

"Quick. Get undressed," said Stevie. "We need you in that cake. Rob and Chad will be here any minute with the liquor!"

"Oh my God!" I cried. "Are you serious? Chad's coming?! He's a pig! He's been trying to see my tits since fourth grade!"

"And he won't know it's you... if you hurry!" Then Stevie paused for a moment, waving a finger in the air. "In point of fact... think how empowered you will be!"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, just think about it," said Steve. "You're going to be waving your tits all about, bouncing them around Chad. He'll never know it's you, because of the mask, right? Think about this. He makes inappropriate advances on you every time he sees you. All he ever talks about when you're around is wanting to see you naked, and that joke ran out a long time ago! But now that he finally has a chance to see the goods, he's going to be oblivious to just how special the moment is. He'll have absolutely NO IDEA!"

"Oh, my God, you're right," I said, flirting the thought in my head.

Chad was such a creep! A loser creep! But he's also the type of guy that would love any kind of tits shoved in his face, even big-nippled ones like mine. Hell, Chad's such a pig, he probably pays for the privilege most of the time! I decided I was going to shove my tits in his face and get him all worked up. Then, I'd just leave him hanging. He deserved it for being such an asshole!

"Don't make me have to strip you myself," said Stevie, twirling the mask in front of me.

"OK, OK," I said.

I put my mind on the task at hand. If I was going to do this, I better just do it. I quickly pulled off my pants, followed by the panties. I was clean-shaven and had a fairly flat stomach. At least that was nothing too embarrassing. I unsnapped my blouse and let it drop to the floor. Here was the moment. The first time Stevie, my best friend of over 18 years, was going to see me naked. I brought my hands to the clasps of my bra. It was a giant white one, of the "granny" variety, but it held my tits firmly in place. Mostly, it just ensured coverage of my huge nipples.

"Come on, hurry!" said Mike. He was right. Outside, I heard the faint sound of a car pulling up the drive.

I unsnapped the four clips and yanked the bra away. My boobs came bursting out of the form-fitting sling. "Promise you won't make fun!" I cried, covering my eyes, afraid to witness Stevie's reaction.

"Oh, Liz. They're amazing."

I peeked one eye open. He was staring at my tits, not more than a foot away. My nipples were pointing right at him and their darkened, pink skin raced with goose bumps. Steve's eyes were glued and he didn't move a muscle. It was as if Medusa herself turned him to stone, except for the noticeable growth in his pants, which admittedly, caught me by surprise! He was getting hard just looking at me and I felt myself getting instantly wet.

"Alright, Steve," I said, as I heard the motor cut off outside. "You've seen enough. Give me that mask and get me in that cake!"

"Right in here!" Steve grabbed my arm, brushing up against my right breast. I couldn't tell if it was accidental or on purpose, but it jiggled heavily from the abrupt jarring. Then, they both swung freely as he rushed me into the living room. They must have looked ridiculous bouncing around like that, but Stevie didn't seem to mind. Truth be told, his reaction served to boost my confidence.

The cake was impressive. The bottom half of the cake, if you could call it that, was a large, round wooden support that was hollowed-out on the inside. It was decorated to match the top half, the actual cake itself, which currently set on top of the dining room table. It rested on a flimsy, serrated piece of cardboard, just enough to support its weight, but it would allow someone to burst through the contraption. I quickly hopped into the base and knelt down. My breasts squeezed up against my arms and knees in the awkward position.

"OK," said Steve as he to closed me inside. "After the toast, I will thump the floor with my foot and you jump out! Say whatever comes to mind. Just get as much cake and icing flying as you can!"

He struggled to get the top half of the cake in place, but managed to do so just as Rob and Chad walked in. Close call!

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I spent nearly an hour in that cake. Shortly after Rob and Chad arrived, others began flowing in. I made out Tony and Mark talking. They were two good friends in our circle. They'd come in with a couple of other guys whom I couldn't place. Not by their voices alone, anyway. But then I heard the loud, booming voice of Geoff Nash. He was my boss at the bar! How did he end up here? I didn't realize he had a relationship with the groom or Stevie.

Geoff was chauvinist, worse than Chad. He skirted the line of sexual harassment every day. Once, he tried to enter me in a wet t-shirt competition hosted right there at the bar. Another time, the shoulder strap on my bra broke and he wouldn't let me go home and get another one. I had to work in that tight, pink t-shirt with my boobs bouncing around as I rushed to keep up with the orders. He made me tend bar and that place got busier than I'd ever seen it. Nobody would leave and make room for others!

I forgot about Geoff and got back to listening to the guests. Who else was going to be here? I was at first surprised to hear a female voice appear in the crowd. But I recognized it nearly right away. It was Janice Hoffman. She is a bombshell! She worked in an advertising agency and at the tender, young age of 22, was doing quite well for herself opening new accounts. She was a prodigy, yet I'm sure her fit legs and firm breasts served her well in flirting the sales up. But Janice wasn't just a prodigy. She was also an anomaly. Though supermodel beautiful, she was a full-blown lesbian. She would have absolutely nothing to do with men. She totally broke the lesbian-butch stereotype.

It figures Janice would be invited to the bachelor party. Those who know her well treated her more as a man than a lady. And she, too, had been trying to get in my pants ever since the day we met, nearly four years ago. The boys have a no-touching rule. That's what Stevie had said when he first started begging me to do this. But I wonder if Janice will think it's OK to touch me since she's a girl. Does she even have to abide by the no-touching rule?

All these thoughts raced through my head and helped to keep my mind off how cramped it was in the small enclosure. Just as I thought I couldn't take anymore, I heard a clanging of glass and the room quieted down. Steve's voice emerged from the silence. The toast was beginning.

'Deep breath, girl!' I said to myself. 'You can do this.'

I couldn't make out much of Stevie's words, but every few seconds laughter would break out. After several minutes, there was a pause of silence, followed by a loud thump. He'd kicked the floor so hard and it jolted me. My cue.

I bolted upright, smashing through cake and heaps of heavy icing.

"Surprise, Mister Richards!" I belted. "It's your last night of freedom!"

I shook my breasts left and right, slinging bits of cake and icing on the party guests and the walls. A song began booming over the air, a popular dance tune. I looked across the room and saw that Stevie had run to the corner to turn on the entertainment system. I nodded at him and began shaking in time with the music. I noticed he wasn't staring at me like the others. He was being a gentleman, just as he promised. As a said to myself before, Stevie is a stand-up guy.

I hopped out of the cake and my tits wobbled back and forth in the process. I slapped my ass between the heavy beats of the music and began dancing. A crowd formed a circle around me. If I was going to act like an experienced stripper, I better play the part!

"Holy Cow!" I heard Geoff Nash belt out, his voice loud and unmistakable. "You got tits to die for!"

The statement caught me off-guard and I blushed, happy to be behind a mask. I had to admit it was hot watching all these guys stare at my naked body. My tits were swaying, but had a firm bounce to them. The room was well-lit and my nipples were fully exposed. No one seemed turned off by their size. In fact, everyone was just staring! I grabbed the bottom of my right tit and lifted it up, just enough to lick a stray bit of icing that had been clinging to the end of my nipple.

I should mention that my nipples have always been sensitive. Ever since I discovered I could suck my own breasts, it became a daily routine. I just never told anyone about it, much less did it front of anyone. Now, here I was licking my tit in front of a dozen people. Thank heavens for this mask! If anyone knew it was me doing this, I would just die of embarrassment! I gave the nipple a good hard squeeze as I swallowed more of the sweet icing.

Janice emerged in front of me, breaking through the tight crowd. "Oh my, it looks like your other one has some cake and icing on it, too. Please, allow me!"

Before I could respond, Janice reached out and grabbed my left breast with both her hands. She then applied her lips directly to my nipple and began sucking... hard!

I jumped back in surprise, yet couldn't help but feel a warm sensation rush from the nipple, directly to my happy place. I was soaking wet. Janice was so beautiful and more so, she knew exactly how to work a girl. I was in experienced hands! She reached down and brushed against my clit. I don't know if it was her touch or the excitement of being seen buck naked in front of so many men, but I nearly climaxed and struggled to hold it back.

Another hand reached out, grabbing my right breast. I looked down at the hand and followed the appendage to its owner. It was Chad!! That pig! It was just like him to cop a feel uninvited.

'Get a good squeeze in, asshole!' I thought to myself. 'You're never going to know Elizabeth Perry's tits were in your hands!'

I pulled my breasts away from Janice and flung my body closer to Chad. I was going to torment him, no matter what it took. I squeezed my tits together and pushed them closer to his face. 'Yeah, you get a real long look!' I thought to myself. 'It'll be your only opportunity, ever!'

Chad opened his mouth and was just about to make a move for my engorged nipple when Stevie came rushing in, separating us.

"Alright, alright! No touching, people!" yelled Stevie. "We are not going to get my older brother in trouble at this party by doing anything any of us would regret."

The Stevie shoved me away from the crowd, man-handling my boobs and ass in the process. If I hadn't known better, I would have believed Stevie was behaving every bit as tactless as Chad, with his paws all over. But no, Stevie was just panicked. He would never stoop so low for a cheap feel.

After the crowd settled down, Stevie turned to face me and said, "Why don't we slow things down by letting you cut the cake?"

"Uh, OK," I said, deepening my voice as I spoke. I wanted no one to suspect who I was.

Without another word, Stevie handed a cake knife to me, along with some small paper plates. People lined up, enjoying the fact that it took me extra time to cut the cake, as I fumbled with the wreckage that was left of it. I'd really messed it up, bursting through it like I did.

Tony, Mark and Geoff were the first ones in line, standing closest to me, scoping me up and down. Mark leaned to me and said, "I love your body. It's a playground."

I suppose I was to take that as a compliment. Feeling spirited, I let him take an extra moment to gaze upon me before handing him his piece, forcing him to move on. He'd taken particular notice to my nipples, so I bobbed up and down and watched his head follow along. It was quite amusing.

I stayed buck naked the rest of the evening. There were many awkward instances when I witnessed erections pop up, bulges emerging in both tight and loose-fitting pants. I never realized men would react to my body this way. They all seemed to look as if they wanted to bend me over and take me. The longer I stood naked, the wetter I got. I don't think I'd ever been hornier in my life and I ached to get off.

Finally, midnight rolled around and Stevie insisted it was time for everyone to leave.

"Aww, I see," said Tony, pointing to me. "The girl stays here even after we leave!"

"No, it's nothing like that," said Stevie, slamming the door behind him. Tony was the last one out.

"Oh, my god!" I exclaimed, ripping the mask of my head. "I can't stand another minute wearing this!"

I threw the mask at Stevie and walked over to the couch, turned around and plopped down. I stretched my back, working off the cramps that had formed from being stuck in the cake so long. My clit was throbbing and I instinctively reached down to press against it. To smooth it.

"Uh, what are you doing?" asked Stevie.

I realized I was so comfortable being naked by this point, and I was always comfortable around Stevie, that it didn't even dawn on me how inappropriate my action was.

"Oh, I'm sorry," I said, jerking up and lifting my legs, attempting to cover up.

"Please don't do that," said Stevie.

"Do what?" I asked

"Let me see you, please. I've kept my promise tonight and kept my eyes off you as much as possible tonight. But Liz, you are gorgeous. I had no idea."

Stevie's was transfixed on my body and I found myself slowly dropping my legs and opening my arms. 'Fuck it!' I thought to myself, 'Elizabeth, Carpe Diem!'

I blurted out, barely thinking about what I was about to say. "I'll let you look at me, but only if you don't mind if I masturbate in front of you. I am so horny, Stevie. All those men staring at me all night. And Janice, too! It got to me. I need to get off and I can't wait a moment more! I don't care if you watch, but I have to do this!"

Steve said nothing and sat down beside me. He lifted my legs and crossed them over his lap, laying me down on the couch. Then he spread my legs apart and said, "I don't want to ruin our relationship. Well... I mean... I..."

"It's OK, Stevie, I know exactly what you mean."

He continued, "I'd be happy to help you get off, though. What can I do?"

"Please, just look at me. Watch me," I said. I couldn't believe the words coming out of my mouth. "I want to see you get horny watching me. It's OK. It won't hurt our friendship."

"Your body is incredible," said Stevie. "I wish I could see your tits every day. They're huge. And your nipples are amazing. If I'd have known how awesome there are, I would have insisted on seeing them a long time ago. I hope you won't hold that against me!" He laughed.

I was thrilled to see Stevie in such a good mood. I really did save the day for him! But I was also thinking that in all our years together, I'd never seen such a look of contentment on his face. He genuinely loved looking at my body and that made me feel good. So good, that again, without thinking, I blurted out another offer. "Tell ya what! You don't tell a soul I masturbated in front of you and I won't wear a bra for month when I'm around you."

What was I thinking? I'd never gone without a bra since I was 12!

"Oh my God, you mean it?" he asked.

"Just promise no one finds out about this!" I said, rubbing my right hand across my breasts and moving it further down to my legs.

"I swear I won't tell a soul," said Stevie.

The words were barely out of his mouth when I thrust two fingers deep into my wet pussy. I pulled back and began tweaking the clitoris. It didn't take long. I'd been riding the edge of orgasm all night and now was the time for release. I exploded, wave after wave of climax occurred, each stronger than the next.

Stevie looked on, his hard cock noticeable in his jeans. I could feel it occasionally rub against my left leg, which only helped to intensify the orgasms. I must have had seven or eight before finally feeling the tide subside.