Tracey

"Interfere?"

"What if when they found me and I was obviously pregnant and they wanted to know if it was theirs? What if they wanted a DNA test? And before you even ask not one of them was any better than you and only one of them was bigger and he wasn't longer just bigger around. And yes I enjoyed it. It was sex and I like sex and you know that from as much as I give you."

"You don't consider that cheating on me? You don't think you were stabbing me in the back?"

"No I didn't. You knew how much I wanted kids and you lied to me when you told me that you tested fine. As far as you were concerned you would have let me keep trying until we were old and gray. You were going to cheat me out of my kids and so I cheated and got them. When you accepted Louie I knew you loved me too much to kick me out so I went for number two and you accepted her so I went for number three and then four.

"I have my four kids now Walter and I'm through looking for sperm donors. I watched you with the kids Walter. You are a natural daddy. It is a role you were born to play and it is too damned bad that fate made it so you couldn't have any. We are blessed Walter. We have each other and we have three great kids and one of the reasons they are great is because of the way you have raised them. They may not have your DNA, but they have everything else of yours. They have your love and affection and guidance. They wouldn't be what they are without you and I know it. I hope you do too. So, will you let number four ride?"

"You aren't going to leave me for him?"

"Of course not you dummy. I love you with all my heart and I will never leave you. My biggest fear has always been that you would leave me. I took one hell of a gamble each time I got one of my babies. I was scared to death you would kick me out."

"I guess as long as I know that you are mine I can rein in my violent streak."

Tracy threw her arms around me and said, "I want you. Now!" and she pulled me up to the bedroom. Tracy reduced me to ruins that night. After the first time she got me up three more times and she was trying for a fourth when I fell asleep on her.

++++++++++++++++++++++

"I don't know about you, but when I'm alone and with nothing to do my mind goes to work wondering about things. Maybe you can give me some answers to these questions.

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Since bread is square why is sandwich meat round?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

"What disease did cured ham actually have?

Why do people pay to go up to the top of tall buildings and the put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

How come we chose from just two people for president and fifty for Miss America?

Once you're in heaven do you get stuck with wearing the clothes you were buried in for all eternity?

Why do you have to put your two cents in, but it's only a penny for your thoughts? Where does that extra penny go?

How is it that we put a man on the moon before we figured out that it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they slept like a baby when babies wake up like every two hours?

And the one that really gets to me...why do doctors call their work practice?"

I drank my beer and listened to the stand up comic and wondered what the draw for this place was for Darnell. Dar finally arrived. I saw him when he walked in and I waved him over to the table. I already had a beer sitting there for him and as he sat down he said:

"What? Again? Why don't you wake up Walt? The solution to the problem is to get rid of the cause."

"I can't Dar; I am hopelessly in love with her. The good news is that this should be the last time."

"What if it isn't?"

"Then she's gone. If it happens again she will have looked me in the eye and flat out lied to me. I know it sounds stupid to someone else, but to me there is a major difference between her cheating and her lying. Yes, cheating is lying in a way because you have to lie to hide it. You have to lie about where you are going; where you have been and what you were doing while you were gone.

"I admit I have wimped out as far as what she did to get the kids, but I'm a good deal to blame for it because after Louie I knew what she was doing and I didn't stop it. But yesterday she looked me in the face and said it was over and that there would be no more."

"Whoa up there bud. What did I miss here?"

I told him about my after dinner conversation with Tracy.

"You promised her that you would let the latest one ride?"

"I didn't promise; I just led her to believe that I would restrain myself this time."

"But you aren't going to right?"

"Right."

"She is going to be pissed at you."

"Tough shit. I bought what she told me and I understand her reasoning and I did abet things by accepting Louie in the beginning, but someone still has to pay for her cuckolding me and it just isn't in me to do anything to Tracy. It might have been different if she got up one morning and said, "I'm ready for number four" and then had waited for her most fertile time and then gone out and hooked up with someone that night and then come home and waited to see if it took or not, but that isn't the way it was. She found someone, stayed with it until she knew she was pregnant and then kept on seeing him.

"Hell Dar; the only reason we found out who the guys were was because she kept screwing them after telling me that she was pregnant. What does it take to find out you're knocked up? Five or six weeks or so right? That means she has been fucking the guy for three or four months and who knows how long it would have gone on if I hadn't stepped in and shut the guy down.

"Tracy said she needed to taper off to keep the guy from coming around and causing problems, but what the fuck does taper off mean? Three months? Six months? A year? I'll never know, but I do know this. She told me she had her four and she was done and if she lied she will be out on her ass. As wimpy as I have been with her over the kids I will not accept her looking me in the face and flat out lying to me."

"How are you ever going to know? If she meant it when she said she had her four kids and it was enough, but she keeps on cheating how are you going to know? The only reason that you know what you do know is because she tells you when she gets knocked up. If she never gets knocked up again how will you know she isn't out getting banged again?"

"I'm just going to have to keep a close eye on her from now on. Do some spot checking on the nights she goes with her friends or stops for drinks after work. Maybe even swing by the house during the day."

"I can show you how to put a recorder on your phone line if you would like."

"Yeah! I guess I would like to do that."

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Three weeks later Dar called me and told me to meet him at the Strip. It was another Wednesday and I would almost swear that it was the same comic who had been there almost every other time I'd met Dar there.

""My wife was screaming at me: "Leave! Get out of this house right now!"

As I was walking out the door she yelled, "I hope you die a slow and painful death."

So I turned around and replied, "Oh, so now you want me to stay."

"Twelve signs that you are an EXTREME REDNECK.

You let your fourteen year old daughter smoke at the table in front of her kids.

You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

You think that a woman out of your league bowls on a different night.

Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by the ceiling fan.

The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.

Some one in your family died right after saying, "Hey guys, watch this."

You think that the last words of the Star Spangled Banner are "Gentlemen, start your engines." You have a full set of bowls and they all say Cool Whip on the side.

Your junior prom offered day care.

One of your kids was born on a pool table.

You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.

You think that Possum is the other white meat."

I didn't see him come in and didn't know he was there until he sat down at the table with me. I waved Maggie over and ordered two more beers as he slid an envelope over to me.

"Are you sure you don't want to just kick her out and be done with it?" he asked.

"Why ask me that now?

"She has met him fourteen out of the last twenty-one days. Does that sound like tapering off to you?"

"No Dar, it doesn't. Not one little bit."

"What are you going to do?"

"Put in that phone tap you talked about and then wait a week or two and see what I can find out. I really don't want to push her out, but my wimpiness has limits. If I take a day off work tomorrow can we do it while she is at work?"

"Can do."

He gave me a list of what to buy and I hit a Radio Shack on the way home and purchased the stuff.

Dar met me at the house at ten and by ten-thirty I had a recording device on the phone line that was voice activated. The recorder was digital and could record up to thirty-nine hours before it would record over itself. I'd purchased two of them so I could pull what I wanted off of the phone device to have it on the other recorder without fear of losing it to being recorded over.

"Good luck bud" Dar said as he left.

Since I had taken the day off I decided to use some of the day to spot check on Tracy. Her job was only part time and started at nine so she could be home to get the kids off to school and she got off at two so she could be home by three-thirty when the kids started coming home. Marion Elise was still too young to go to school, but Tracy was able to take Elsie to work with her.

I was parked down the street when Tracy came out of the building at five after two. She got little Elsie settled in the car and then pulled out of the parking lot. She turned and headed away from our house and I pulled away from the curb and followed her. She drove to the Motel 6 on Parker and pulled up next to an F-250 pick up. Tracy got out of the car, got Elsie out and then followed the man who got out of the truck to room 113. They went into the room and the door closed behind them.

I sat and watched the door to that room until three- forty. Tracy came out with Elsie, got her strapped into the car and then opened her purse and touched up her makeup. Satisfied with what she saw in the mirror she started the car and headed for home. I waited until the man came out and I took a good look at him. He matched the description I'd gotten from Darnell and when he pulled out I saw that his plate numbers were the same numbers that Darnell had put in his report,

I didn't know what to think. Surely Tracy wouldn't be fucking the guy with Elsie in the room would she? If she had fucked the guy had she used the room's shower to clean herself up or was she going to shower when she got home. Or, and it was a disturbing thought, was she going to shower at all? Whenever Tracy and I made love she was always hot and wet and I had always assumed that sex made her juice a lot, but was that wetness really sloppy seconds and why hadn't that thought ever occurred to me before? I know that it was a little late for it, but I was staring to have bad thoughts about where my marriage was headed.

I decided to go on home and if Tracy asked me why I was home early I would tell her that something I ate for lunch had given me an upset stomach. It wouldn't be a lie because there was definitely something that didn't agree with me and it was sitting in the pit of my stomach and sending messages to my brain that said, "You've been played Walter."

I got home and heard the shower running when I walked in and that made me feel a little better. Tracy was surprised to see me when she came down the stairs and I gave her my story.

"I hope you feel better tonight baby because I feel super horny today."

"Why? What happened to light your fire today?"

"You know I get super horny when I'm pregnant."

"Yeah, but I've never understood why."

"I suppose it is a combination of two or three things. My hormones are scrambled by the changes in my body. I feel guilty for cheating on you so I'm trying to make it up to you. Plus I feel the need to reward you for being the man you are and for you putting up with me and my ways. And then there is the biggie of course; I am madly in love with you."

I listened to all that she said and I wanted to believe it. Oh God did I ever want to believe it. That night I did make love to her and she was as hot and as wet as ever. I knew she had showered and cleaned up when she got home from the motel so being hot and wet when she was horny was probably her natural state and I wasn't getting sloppy seconds. The relief I felt over finding that out was enormous.

It was a relief that didn't last long.

+++++++++++++++++++++

It was two days before I was able to get to the recorder on the phone line. After a bunch of junk calls I heard a man's voice.

"Hello?"

"Hi baby; miss me?"

"You know I do."

"Meet me this afternoon?"

"I can do that. Same time and place?"

"For today, but we need to talk about finding some other way of doing it. Elsie is getting too big to keep putting her in the bathroom with coloring books and toys and closing the door on her. She is getting big enough to open the bathroom door and walk in on us."

"We can always use your place."

"No we can't and you know it. That would be the quickest way to get caught. Either Walt or one of the kids coming home early and we would be busted. Same reason you can't call me here. I can call you because there isn't anyone home, but we have no idea who might be here if you were to call me."

"Just leave him and live with me then."

"Don't be silly Boyd. We both know you aren't husband material and you damned sure aren't father material. You haven't shown any interest in any of our kids at all. You can't even be friendly with Elsie when we are together."

"So I don't like rug rats; so what! Leave them with doofus. What the hell Trace; he treats them as his anyway."

"Why would I leave my babies Boyd? Everything we have done was to get me those babies."

"Okay, okay, I give up. This afternoon, same time and place."

"See you there. Bye."

"Our kids" she had said to him. "Our kids" like all of the kids were his. Was that what she meant or was it just a slip of the tongue? Not husband material? Had she been considering him as a husband at one time? There was that voice from the pit of my stomach again.

"You are being played Walt."

Maybe I was, but one thing I knew for sure -- I was going to get some answers.

Three days later Boyd Mattingly was attacked and savagely beaten and left lying behind the dumpster in back of Bud's Bar. Severe damage was done to his genitals and a source at the hospital said he would lose one testicle and quite possibly both.

Tracy came home from work and found me in the kitchen drinking a beer and waiting for her.

"What are you doing home lover? More stomach troubles?"

"Sit down Tracy; we need to talk."

She sat down and asked, "Talk about what baby?"

"About kids and our marriage."

"I thought I already went over that with you."

"Yes you did, but I have learned a few things lately that make me question whether you told me the truth or not. Based on what I've learned I am going to ask you one time for the complete unvarnished truth. If I get it we may -- just may -- be able to put things behind us and move ahead. If I hear one lie or I even think I'm hearing one I'm going to pack and leave. One chance to be straight with me Tracy; that's all you get."

"I don't understand Walt. Be straight about what?"

"Everything since your finding out I couldn't father kids. I'm not telling you any more than that. I'm not going to say anything that you think might give you wiggle room in what you may say. I will say that I now know more than you think I do which is how I'll know if some of what you say is lies. One chance Tracy and I am as serious as death here. One chance to save your marriage. That of course is if you want to save it."

"Of course I want my marriage Walt. I love you and you fucking well know I do."

"Then the straight story Tracy. The truth and nothing but the truth. Go."

She looked at me and I could read it on her face. "What can I tell him? What can I hide? What can I get away with?" I sat there and waited.

"I told you everything Walt. I told you how I found out you were sterile and what I decided to do to get the children that I wanted."

"That's it? That's your story and you're sticking to it?"

"It's the truth Walt. I swear to God it's the truth."

I just looked at her for several moments and then said, "You can't say that I didn't give you a chance Tracy" and I stood up.

"Where are you going?"

"To pack. I told you one lie and I was out of here."

I went down into the basement and got a couple of suitcases and headed for our bedroom to pack. Tracy came in as I was emptying my sock drawer.

"You can't be serious about this Walt. I told you what happened. I told you all of it."

I took the recorder out of my pocket and pushed the play button.

"Hello?"

"Hi baby; miss me?"

Tracy's face sagged as the tape continued to play. I kept packing as it played out. By the time the conversation was over I had both suitcases packed and was getting ready to go to the kitchen and get some garbage bags for the rest of my stuff.

"That doesn't mean anything Walt. I told you I needed to taper with the guy I chose. That's all this was."

"Stop your goddamned lying Tracy! You just listened to the tape. Did you not hear the part where he said "Just leave them with doofus." He knows the kid in your belly is his and not mine. And what about the part where you said "You haven't shown any interest in any of our kids." Our kids? Our kids means more than one. And tapering off? You call seeing him twenty-one times in thirty days tapering?"

Dar had told me fourteen out of the last twenty-one, but that was weeks ago so I guessed at what had happened since.

"All I can say Tracy is run to Boyd. He may not be husband and father material, but he is all you have now because I'm out of here as soon as I get all my stuff gathered up."

"I don't want Boyd Walt. I want you. I love you!"

"No you don't Tracy. What you love is the fact that you had a dumb-shit busting his as to take care of you and your kids while you fucked around on him."

"That's not true Walt. I've done everything I can to show you that I love you. I have never given you any less than my best."

"Except when you are giving it to some one else. Some one like Boyd, Marvin, Bob, Warren and God only knows how many others. I gave you a chance top come clean with me Tracy and you didn't take it even after I warned you what would happen if you lied."

"I couldn't take it Walt. If I told you the truth you would despise me."

"Any other man would have despised you when you gave him his first illegitimate kid let alone three more."

"If I tell you the whole story will you promise not to leave me?"

"No promises Tracy. It will all depend on my believing what you tell me and right now you have put me in a position where I take everything I hear from you with a grain of salt."

She gave me a long look and then said, "It started just like I told you. When I found out you were sterile I knew that you had hidden it from me because you were afraid that I'd leave you for some one who could give me babies. I thought that if you loved me that much you might accept a child that wasn't yours to keep me. I gambled that you would, but if you wouldn't then we would get a divorce and get on with our lives. It was a huge gamble on my part because I love you and didn't want to lose you, but I wanted my babies.