Trailing Home Ch. 09

Selena tried to get Liam to drink some broth, but he had a hard time swallowing, and most of the liquid just dribbled out of his mouth. She felt more and more afraid, as she nursed him through the night. He jerked violently on the pallet, his muscles locked in painful spasms, and helpless tears rolled down Selena's cheeks as she sat with him. His condition worsened over the next three days, and Selena met with the others to try and decide what to do.

"We're gonna have to make a pallet for Liam in the wagon and move on," Hank said gently. "He could be sick for a long time, and we can't stay here indefinitely waitin' for him to get better. As it is, we're running a week or two behind schedule." Everyone murmured their agreement, even Selena. Hank turned to his grandsons. "Can one of you drive Liam's team?"

Before they could answer, Selena spoke up. "No, I'll drive our wagon."

Gerald frowned at her. "Selena, this is rough country. It's not easy maneuvering up and down these hills. You'd better let one of the men drive."

"I know how to handle the team," Selena said stubbornly. She didn't think Liam would like her driving the wagon, but neither would he like having one of the men neglect their own family to help him. "I grew up driving a wagon for my Pa, and I've watched how Liam handles the oxen. If you'll lead the way, Gerald, I'll get our team to follow you. We'll be fine."

Gerald didn't look like he liked it, but he reluctantly agreed. "Alright. We should leave in the morning, then."

They made all the preparations, and by the next morning, they were back on the move. Gerald and Peter lifted Liam onto a pallet in the back of the wagon, and Selena drove their wagon. Everyone was surprised to see that she really did know how to handle the oxen, and they quickly relaxed.

Selena got no such respite during the next few days. Mile after mile, she mumbled fervent prayers for Liam to get better. He huddled on his pallet, jerking and twitching. Sometimes his breathing was labored, and the air made a terrible wheezing sound as he struggled to draw it into his lungs. Selena would choke back tears, feeling helpless and afraid as she remembered her mother's death. Then, his breathing would ease once more, but the spasms continued, giving him no relief.

There were a few brief periods where his eyes rested on her, and he seemed to understand what was going on, but most of the time, he appeared oblivious. Selena felt like she was in hell. Her beloved was nearby, she could see him and touch him, but she couldn't reach him, and she couldn't do a thing to make him better.

She gained a new respect for Liam, for she found that handling the oxen for ten or twelve hours a day was exhausting. Her shoulders were sore and stiff, and her palms were covered in blisters from handling the leather reins. Still, her physical discomforts were of little concern to her when she was so worried about Liam.

Every evening, Selena coaxed fluids down his throat, as she held him in her arms. He could barely swallow, so the best she could do for him was to ply him with rich broth. He lost weight, and he started to take on a gaunt expression as the days passed. His eyes looked dull and listless, and Selena began to despair.

"I'm losing him," she cried, sobbing while Marcia hugged her close. "I can't help him, and I'm losing him right before my eyes."

"Shh, darling. You mustn't think like that. He's strong, Selena. He's strong, and he has a lot to live for. He loves you. You have to have faith that he will fight to get through this."

"I'm trying, but I'm so frightened. I don't want to go on living if he dies," Selena whispered.

"I know. Have faith and pray that the Lord will help him through this."

Selena slept fitfully, when she managed any sleep at all. Although everyone pitched in to help with her chores, Selena didn't feel comfortable letting them do everything for her. She allowed the men to take turns hitching and unhitching the team of oxen, milking the cow and feeding the animals. However, she insisted on gathering her own firewood and cooking and cleaning for herself. She focused most of her attention on nursing Liam, but in a way, the time she spent at the other tasks was a relief because it was the only time she was distracted from her constant worry.

Five days after the onset of his illness, Liam's breathing became so labored that Selena thought he might suffocate. That evening, she held his head and shoulders cradled in her lap and stroked his chest. She could feel his heart racing beneath her palm as he struggled to draw each breath, and her mind was scourged by the cruel claws of fear. Selena's lips moved constantly while she repeated her prayers for Liam to get better. She was certain he wouldn't make it through the night, but his breathing finally eased. Although the wheezing continued, his heart finally calmed, and it seemed as if he were breathing deeper than before.

On the eighth night after Liam's illness had begun, Selena awoke with a start, and she heard Liam whispering in a hoarse croak. Whatever he was trying to say came out more as a garbled slur, but she was overjoyed that he was able to make the effort. Selena stroked his face and kissed his brow.

"I'm here darling. I'm right beside you," she said

He struggled to say something else, and Selena realized he was trying to ask for a drink. She rushed to get him a cup of water, and she helped him drink a few tiny sips. He was able to swallow it better than before, and her heart filled with fresh hope. He looked at her for a long time before he drifted off to sleep once more. Selena noticed that he was still twitching, but it seemed the spasms weren't as severe as they had been. She whispered another prayer and drifted into an exhausted sleep.