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Click here"I'd forgotten about Gerald. Since he transferred to another city, I've had no contact with him." I could almost hear her words before she spoke them. "He's nothing to me. It meant nothing."
Her choice of words found me suddenly shaking with rage as I choked out the words. "Meant nothing? That's funny Doris because I haven't forgotten about Gerald and you - the two of you fucking. You cheating, lying...IT MEANS EVERYTHING TO ME!"
Doris rolled away and looked up at me. Her expression was one of unfathomable fear - and the silence between us seemed to last forever. Then she got up slowly and walked out of the bedroom -- never really turning her back to me. I realized it was time to pack.
*************************************
Doris fought our divorce - unsuccessfully. If you're thinking, "whoa you walk out the door and go straight for a divorce? What's up with that?" Well it didn't happen like that. When I did eventually file, she responded by using every delaying tactic in the book; so I simply stopped the process. While we are not divorced, we no longer live together.
We did try counseling at the behest of our lawyers. That was unsuccessful because when I was asked what were my goals - remaining married wasn't on my list - I simply wanted to be happy. Doris complained about that, she said I needed to take our marriage seriously. I actually laughed when she said that and reminded her that I was not the one who had been repeatedly unfaithful during our marriage.
I suppose we're coexisting in some quasi 'cheaper to keep her' scenario. I continue to pay my share of the mortgage, taxes, etc. - I'm just not there anymore. Doris isn't happy about any of this but there's not a lot she can do. What really ticks her off is that not only have I moved out -- I've moved on.
About three months after I stopped the divorce a colleague of mine found herself in a similar state of marital distress, naturally we commiserated with one another. She's in the middle of a nasty divorce and had been cautioned by her lawyer not to be seen in public with other men; needless to say she is one horny woman. I made a silly joke one day that she took seriously. A couple of days later she summoned me to an unused office down an unfrequented hallway. We've since christened that room: the Office of Collegial Benefits. While I am surprised at my own hypocrisy, I confess that I am only human.
Despite all of this I still love Doris and I know that she loves me. Recently she invited me to dinner during the holidays and I let her seduce me - actually she succeeded repeatedly during the four-day weekend. Lunchtime benefits are all well and fine, but compared to actually making love, there simply is no comparison. Am I a walking, talking catalog of crazy contradictions - my therapist thinks I am.
Last week he asked me if I thought that Doris and I might eventually reconcile; could I see us living as husband and wife again? I'd told him about my recent overnighter and how much I had enjoyed being with Doris so I replied that anything is possible. By now you're probably as confused as I am - so what's the hang up you might ask? Why don't I just move back home, get the two of us involved with some serious counseling and take a run at it?
Well I'll tell you why, I found out that the secrets I'd held in all those years had taken up a lot of emotional space. I was so obsessed with them that I didn't notice all that they pushed aside. When those secrets were freed I was left with a hole that I haven't been able to fill and a space in which Doris no longer fits. While I love my wife, I know now that I don't (and didn't for many years) trust her. And without trust, well...
- COMMENTS
Anonymous5 months agoBut he really never sat down and had her explain. When she stumbled he left the conversation rather than forcing her to continue.
Anonymous11 months agoI can see why this didn’t score s high as the quality of the writing might have indicated. The plot went sideways. The MC never figured out what he wanted. As a result….he did nothing. Yeah..got divorced…but then is banging the slut afterwards? What a maroon…..
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3 ***
Anonymous11 months agoAnon below telling others to “read between the lines”
Pull that cactus out of your ass, you condescending prick :)
Anonymousabout 1 year agoTo anony 12 days ago.
Read between the lines dude, first, she was at it again.
Second, he hit his limit and corrected the error from so long ago, one he made trying to move past it and save the marriage.
But what the story really was about, was that he regained some of his self respect, and more importantly, self determination.
The reason he ended up dropping the divorce, was that her disrespect, her betrayals, and most of all her dishonesty set him free. He didn't have to worry about ANYTHING anymore, because he just no longer gave a fuck about her... and it's all on her. She was no longer worthy, and she was NEVER trustworthy.
There are two sides to a formal marriage... there's the piece of paper, and then there's the relationship itself. Once the relationship was thoroughly destroyed, then all you're left with is a piece of paper, and THAT, he just does not care about.
Try and think just a little deeper than the most superficial elements, would you?
Goose.
Anonymousabout 1 year agoThat was fucking stupid.
If you decide to keep the bitch you can't throw a hissy fit over nothing TEN YEARS LATER and DIVORCE her. Grow some balls.
Anonymousover 1 year agoYOU SIR ARE A VAGINA COVERED IN PINK COTTON CANDY!!!! no wonder your wife stepped out on you!! Sorry Cuz but it's the truth!!!
Chopinesqueover 1 year agoNot only did Doris' husband not get any answers, neither did we readers. I guess they weren't the point of the story; it was about the destruction of trust. Still it's spartan where there might be more. The why of the original affair, the how she turned back to him. Was she really up to her old tricks again?
Anonymousalmost 2 years agoSo true, once the trust has been violated it’s over. I know because my marriage of 37 years is blowing up as we speak
Anonymousalmost 2 years agoThat his wife was all spin after learning she'd been caught is absolutely right on the nose. Nailed it. This is the likely path by cheaters when caught. Especially women. That hubby didn't expect it is telling.
The weakness in the story is that we don't really get any idea why he handled the cheating as he did. It seems he made a covert contract with his wife. Covert in that she wasn't aware of it. He expected that if he gave her the free pass, she would owe him and be a great wife. Covert contracts never pan out for obvious reasons.
Knoxhard
Regguy69about 2 years agoOk, I might be dumb as a box of rocks, but why is it cheaper to keep her? No kids mentioned, both employed, what’s the deal? Dump the cheating bitch and restart your life!
Anonymousover 2 years agoYou have a nice way of crafting words.
Your story heaven and the man endure already did for all those years and then question what's going on it's simply foolish refoolish and really ruined your story.
nixroxover 2 years ago1 star - without TRUST or ETHICS or HONESTY (never mind LOVE) there can be no happy marriage - end of story. With a 50% divorce rate within the first 5 years, that is not working out so well any more. Why don't we just get to the pre-nupt contract and forget all about religious requirements for marriage - they might last longer and actually mean something - especially when there are substantial financial, personal and painful losses involved.
pummel187over 2 years agoOkay listen up all you delusional people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CHEATERS DO NOT LOVE THE PERSON THEY HAVE CHEATED ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! did you all get that?
Anonymousabout 3 years agoAt Least The Writing Style Honestly Reflects The Husband's Character:
Weak, shallow, lacking focus and substance, and having no real goal or purpose.
What difference does it make what he had for breakfast at the diner? Why did all his years of suffering, contemplation, and submission not prepare him mentally and emotionally for this revelation, or his wife repeating her adultery with another man? Why is the focus on Love, instead of her lack of character, ethics, virtue, commitment, and betrayal? Why does the story leave out her eventual confession, regret, remorse, contrition, and acts of penance? Because there were none? How do you reconcile such emotional and spiritual violence she committed against the marriage without a demonstration that she understands her comprehensive failure of character and ethics?
Oh, because she forgot about Gerry; he meant nothing to her; the fucking meant nothing to her. She might as well have forgotten about running her car over a neighbor's pet, or one of their children.
The wife is mentally dysfunctional, a sociopath. But the really sick person is the man who decided to stay in a marriage with such a broken crippled soulless woman. He is her cake. She wants to keep it. She'll be eating her cake as well every time she thinks she can get away with it, again. Why not? It hasn't cost her anything of value yet.
Thanks for the effort.
