Truth & Consequences: The Other Half

I was very upset when I read your letter but after reading it a number of times I can see that, despite your protestations to the contrary, you have not changed one bit. You are still thinking of yourself first and our marriage and me last. Everything you have done for the last year has been for Janet and no one else and your letter is your last act of selfishness.

You have noticed, I'm sure, that it has taken me a month to formulate a response to your letter. I had to do a lot of soul searching and that took time. I was very angry when I first read the letter since I found out things I still didn't know; about what you thought while the affair was going on and how you viewed me. I wrote many versions of this letter; the first dozen were filled with anger and invective. While they were cathartic they were not how I wanted to respond to you after I had a chance to calm down and think about it. Even this letter is not as I would wish it but I didn't want too much time to pass since you deserve to know my decision.

In a few minutes you will be having a visitor at your door. I timed the reading of this letter many times so I could estimate when you would finish. The person at the door will be a representative from my lawyer with the divorce papers. Please look them over and forward them to your lawyer for his approval as well. You will find that I have proposed a 50-50 split of all our assets. Thankfully there are no children to be concerned about, I guess that was one side benefit of our busy careers. I feel that the split I have offered is very fair and it is what you deserve for all the good years we had. If you wish to fight this split please be aware that I am willing to make public the evidence I have of your affair and to name Jeff as well.

As you requested of me, that I not contact you until I had made a decision, I ask now that you do not contact me. All future contact should be through our respective lawyers. I hope that you will respect my wishes.

I am grateful to you for all the wonderful years of our marriage, and I regret that I was somehow deficient as a husband and that deficiency might have led to your infidelity. I hope you find someone to share your life with. You have a lot to offer a man and now that you are aware of how little it takes to get you to stray I'm sure you will be more vigilant in your next relationship.

I also want to tell you that I've been seeing Marge the last two weekends. When we met I found out that she lives in the next town over and has been there since her divorce. We seem to be getting along well but she knows I'm not ready for a serious relationship at this time. It is going to take a while for me to be able to trust another woman the way I trusted you but she seems to think I'm worth it. I don't know if I am but she seems willing to wait for me.

Phil

***

I dropped the letter to the floor and stared off into space. As Phil had said there was a knock at the door almost before the papers had landed. I stood on wooden legs and made my way to the door. The man said my name and I responded in the affirmative. He handed me a sheaf of papers and said I had been served. I closed the door behind me and immediately fell to the floor. I had gambled that my leaving would force Phil to miss me and to finally forgive me for my stupid affair. I had hoped that the letter would make him see how much I was hurting because of this and he would want to end the suffering. I guess he did want to end our suffering he just ended it in a way I would never have predicted. Even with all his anger and hurt and humiliation I truly thought he loved me enough to forgive and forget. I thought he loved me enough to want to save our wonderful marriage. It seems I underestimated the depth of the harm I have done to our marriage and my husband. As I said in my letter, I will always remember our love and I will always wish this had never happened.

End