Underestimating the Risks

This worried me a bit. It was one thing to be okay with my wife screwing another guy on the odd rare occasion with me around, for the sake of her sexual pleasure and my arousal. But was she also turned on a bit, by his somewhat shabby treatment of me? I didn't want this to become a "he's more of a man" kind of relationship.

I didn't want to dwell on this and didn't want to talk to her about it –but these thoughts kept going through my head. "Jimmy" was (more) ripped. Did this also suggest he had a bigger cock? And "Jimmy" was (more) aggressive. Did this mean she liked how without asking he locked me out on the balcony? Was she unconsciously telling me she liked him better in bed? She certainly liked it enough that she went back for seconds with him; and she did push this envelope further by making it a private session.

I decided to not confront her with these thoughts with a plan, instead, of trying to figure out what she was actually thinking with whatever clues came forward whenever we'd talk about the episodes. I wouldn't actively seek out answers; I'd instead be on alert for evidence, if any came forward.

Frankly, nothing obvious did come forward. Jen continued to be attentive to my needs; continued to enjoy sex with me; continued on as normal. We once in a while would mention her episodes during sex play, but she'd quickly return the talk to me and what she wanted to do to me in bed. Really – I had nothing to complain about.

In the few months after this trip it became more and more apparent that my feelings were more a product of some internal jealousy mechanism than anything else. There was no sign that she saw me as a lesser man in any way. She had liked playing the slutty young, oversexed woman and had enjoyed it enough to repeat with the guy, but there were no long term plans and nothing more to read in her actions.

The image of "Jimmy" slowly vanished from my conscience. I no longer would get the flashback image in him on top of Jen while glancing at me. I no longer would think about how they were kissing moments before they parted. Life turned to normal. Jen was her sexy, fun self.

Winter turned to spring which meant a change in clothing for all. Women felt the need to show skin again for the first time in months. That makes a great time to host a party, and several friends of ours decided to do exactly this. Saturday night in May were going to keep us busy.

We were lying in bed one evening, both reading books, when Jen turned to me and asked, "Hon – ever think about having one of our little episodes here ever?"

It took me a few seconds to get her gist. "You mean...?"

"Yes," she nodded, without saying exactly what we were talking about.

So I decided to prod a bit – "Is something wrong? Is there something I'm not doing?" Jen looked at me like I was crazy. "No," she said sternly. "It's not you at all."

Jen paused for bit and then said, "It's just that I've really liked playing the slutty young woman on the make. Not saying I want that all the time – or even every month. Just something I think about every blue moon. We really liked it when we've been away. Maybe it would be as good and safer if we experimented here instead."

She again paused, but clearly wanted to say more. I could tell she was gathering her thoughts. I didn't want to tell her the second time wasn't fully to my liking – there was no sense mentioning this now, after so many months.

Jen figured out what she was going to say and continued, "You always said my wanderings added to our relationship. You said it turned you on to watch me. It turned me on too. I'm not looking to have affairs or see guys behind your back. I would want this to be part of our sex life."

I figured I had to answer back. "I wouldn't want this happening all the time and I wouldn't want you doing this behind my back either. If we're talking about twice a year – or something like that – I'd really have no problem with it, if you were really into it. It was fun watching you get down and dirty with some random guy." (I decided not to add, "but not from the balcony I was stuck out on.")

The conversation again stopped, so I interrupted the silence asking the obvious question, "So how do you want to go about doing this? Shall we go to a bar sometime?"

Jen had her reply ready. "We could do that. I would never want to start something with someone who's a friend of ours. It could ruin the friendship and I don't want this to be a purely physical thing. I want it to be some guy I'd be interested in picking up just based on his physical appearance. I just want to play being your slutty straying wife again – just every once in a while - with no strings attached; no other concerns. It doesn't have to be only on vacation!"

I understood what she was saying, and still felt okay with it, but I just needed to hear that there weren't any problems with us. "Jen – just tell me though – I'm okay with this, but does this have anything to do with not being satisfied with me? Do we have an issue we need to work on here that you're not telling me about? Are you wanting others because I'm not giving you what you need?" I figured this was putting it all on the line.

Jen put my mind at ease, telling me I was crazy. This was only about wanting to play the slut once in a while and keeping things between us spicy. She said if I have any insecurity about this at all she won't do it ever again.

With these assurances, I agreed to go forward. The conversation dropped and we went back to reading our books. I agreed to her having sex again outside our marriage, but I didn't want to push her into it. If it didn't happen for a few weeks or even months I'd have no objection!

But after reading a few pages, she again put her book down and asked, "Hon... what about Mark – Eric's friend? He's single."

I responded without thinking? "Mark? You'd want Mark?"

Jen smiled, "Well would I be mentioning him if I wasn't interested?"

Guess I walked into that one. I now knew her lust was directed at someone in particular. We hadn't seen the guy since New Years' Eve, but clearly he had left an impression on her. Mark wasn't a friend; he was a friend of a friend – and we didn't know him well. Yes – I could admit he was a good-looking guy, with a slim, but athletic body. I found him rather arrogant; certainly confidence wasn't his issue. I was a bit surprised that Jen would go this route and a bit surprised Jen would choose him. But given her last choice, I guess I shouldn't have been so surprised.

"So how do we go about this?" I asked.

Jen gave me a wicked little smile and said, "He'll be at the party Saturday night, and leave it to me to make it happen!"

"OK, I guess," I responded – "How do you know he'd even be interested?"

Jen smirked and then said, "I don't. But I do know he likes putting his hand on my ass!"

I frowned at this. "He's put his hand on your ass and this is the first I'm hearing of it?"

"Oh stop being silly – a lot of guys have gone for a casual pass by grab when the opportunity was there. Girls put up with you men all the time!"

I was hoping she'd see this as an objection, so I asked, "Doesn't that bother you?"

She moved up right beside me, kissed me on the mouth and then replied, "Given I'm telling you I'd like to go to bed with him, obviously it doesn't bother me!" She added a little giggle.

I was starting to get that sinking feeling a bit. I tried to fight it but it just seemed to me Jen was favourably responding to male acts of mild sexual aggression. I don't go around grabbing other women's asses in public; but my wife was turned on by a guy who has grabbed her ass. She was turned on by a guy who locked me out on the balcony. Was I wrong to see the beginning of a pattern? She certainly seemed to want to fuck men who were very different from me. I had a feeling of concern, but couldn't, or wouldn't, put it into words to discuss with her.

In spite of my misgivings, I did want some reassurances. "Tell me seriously now; am I not giving you enough?"

She put her arms around my neck and kissed me – "darling, I love you! This isn't about wanting more; it's really about wanting something different. I'm your wife and I can't play the whore with you alone! By having sex with other men, I get to live out this fantasy – and I do it with you there, and never ever behind your back. I want it for me – and for us too. It makes it better for us." She paused a bit to kiss me some more and then continued, "I do once in a while want to fuck other men; just to be that hot slutty girl you married; but I want you there with me. I want it part of our relationship, and not something I do separately on the side. Does that make sense, even in my own slutty way?"

How, after a speech like that, and after having already granted it all to her, could I now do anything but nod? Again, it was quite possible my fears were of my own making. But I was cognizant of the fact that this had morphed from a one-time occurrence spontaneous occurrence when we were high, to a need she felt to occasionally fuck other men. It would no longer be spontaneous – the need was already there. And it was now directed toward one particular guy – one I didn't particularly like (but didn't want to now criticize, without looking stupid.)

I was no beginning to feel amorous and we started to make out. She was clearly already hot for it. We kissed while I let my fingers do a little walking on her body. I decided to ask her about her feelings about Mark – so I asked her in a rather leading way – "So - how long have you been hot for Mark?" The question made her wetter. "I've always thought he was attractive," she replied. As I went in for another kiss and asked, "But how long have you wanted to fuck him?" The questioning was really getting her hot, "I guess the first time I explicitly thought of it at Carrie and Josh's party – the week after I was with Jimmy. Mark reminds me a bit of Jimmy."

That was kind of funny. In my mind Mark did seem a little bit like Jimmy too – that bit of aggression I saw in each of them, maybe.

She continued on: "He tried putting a few moves on me. I didn't encourage him, but I didn't get offended either. He was a bit persistent and I guess I was a bit flattered. But it wasn't until after that that I actually thought about what it would be like to bed him. I'm not at all interested in him except when I'm into my slutty whore role. He fits my type – tallish, good looking, nice bod, sexy eyes – I like his butt too."

Jen had clearly been thinking about him. Given this information, I guess it is much better for us to be open and honest about this stuff than have her lusting after him behind my back. Given her libido I'd be fearful that she'd be tempted. I certainly didn't tell her this though.

It sounded like Mark was going to get to fuck my wife and there wasn't really a way for me to stop it unless I wanted to make myself look like a fool.

We had sex and made no mention of Mark that night. While trying to fall asleep I tried to rationalize the situation. We were adults, I said to myself. That first time was fun. There was something erotic about the second time. She's doing this within the bounds of our marriage and not behind my back All was good, and I had to stop being such a jealous bugger!

I didn't hear the name Mark again until after dinner on Saturday. "So are you ready for the party – and the after-party with Mark?" This was the first indication that she planned on this to happen. "I'm going to wear my fave jeans!"

I knew the ones she meant – super tight, low rise, with a rip in the right knee. Every guy would be checking her ass out that night. There was no doubt Jen knew how to make those jeans work. A tight t-shirt and those jeans along with her blonde hair were all she needed to hook up with about any guy available on the market. Lipstick would seal the deal.

I decided to test her a bit and asked her how she knew Mark would be interested in having me watch him fuck her. She responded without much thought, "well I'm pretty sure he wants to fuck me. I have no idea how he feels about being watched though! Guess I will have to make him an enticing offer he can't refuse! Jen was the kind of girl who could make that kind of offer, but I wondered how she could do that discreetly while at a party.

The minutes ticking until the party ticked away as if they were hours. I seemed to be watching the clock all the time. When I wasn't watching the clock I was chiding myself for getting worked up about this. After all, what exactly is wrong about her wanting to fuck another guy – it's not like I'm the only guy on the planet! Also – isn't it mature of me to allow her the freedom here? Sex is great; but it shouldn't be treated as a sacred ritual. I certainly went through a number of girls in college. Why should this be different? I felt I needed to get back on the program and have some fun with this. I should be looking forward to this added spice.

So with that mindset, I did what I could to put my ill thoughts aside and focused my attentions on my hot wife decked out in her girl-on-the-make jeans and baby white tee that didn't quite cover her belly button. Her platform high heel shoes added to the girl-needing-sex look.

Before we left for the party, I was able to spend time groping her ass and kissing her neck. I wasn't allowed to kiss her on the mouth for fear of messing up her lipstick. Tonight Jen was on the prowl to fuck another man while I watched.

We arrived at the party, and it was straightforward that Jen had her radar on. Mark – her intended target was nowhere to be seen. There were close to 60 people at the party and if Mark was there, he might be difficult to find quickly. Furthermore, Jen couldn't make it obvious to everyone in the room that she planned to fuck another guy. She would have to find a way to be discreet. And she still very much wanted to have fun at the party too.

At first I tried following her in the crowd already there. As expected, guys were checking her out, from front and back. Her jeans really knew how to bite into her ass. Eventually, I lost her in the crowd, stuck in a conversation with some friends.

Over the next hour, I'd see Jen occasionally – just glimpses – always talking with others, sometimes guys; sometimes girls. And then at 10:30 I caught sight of her talking to Mark. I hadn't even seen him arrive. The place was very loud, with conversation battling the music. It was hard to keep my eyes on them, and soon lost sight of them.

Ten minutes later they were dancing – in a group of about 20 other also dancing. I saw him put his hands on her occasionally, but nothing outrageous. I again made a conscious decision to stop watching them and focus on having a good time – after all, this was a party!

And so, it was with just a bit of surprise when Jen came up behind me and put her arm around me. It didn't take long for her to give me a progress report. "Well, I made contact. He's interested all right, as I told you. But wants me to come back to his place instead," she informed me. She paused.

I held back from responding . My gut wanted to firmly say, "No."

She added, "But I told him that's not in the cards tonight. It would have to be our place, and you'd be there too."

"How'd he respond to that?" I asked, happy that Mark wasn't getting to dictate the terms.

She answered, "He said he doesn't like other guys around. I told him that this wasn't for a threesome. You would not be involved. You'd just be there." She added, "I told him I'd make it well worth his while."

I was hoping he would back off. This could be a win for all. He won by being given a chance to fuck Jen. Jen won by his wanting her back at his place – so not an outright rejection. And I would win if she came back home with me alone.

We had now joined the dancing group, and we were slowing dancing, arms around each other, and not in rhythm to the music. She pulled up close to my ear so that I could hear and others couldn't and said, "Just so you know we went upstairs and kissed."

"Just kissed?" I asked.

"Just kissed – and he grabbed my ass – nothing more," she responded. She added, "Just wanted to turn you on a bit."

I wanted her badly right then, but this was one of these occasions where a husband and wife were not on the same page. I wanted to go home and fuck her. She, instead, wanted to go home and fuck Mark. Still, if he was backing off, I was up for some fun.

I thought I'd push the issue – the timing was right – "So, want to head home a little early tonight?"

She smiled, apparently liking the idea, but her sights were still set on Mark – "That sounds like a good idea. I'll go get Mark."

"He agreed to come to our place?" I asked with surprise.

She shook her head no, but said, "No – but he will. I'm pretty sure." With that, she disappeared into the crowd. My hope was simple – he'd refuse, and I'd get to have some fun and get this behind us – which mostly meant getting it behind me.

Ten minutes later, Jen re-emerged, and yes, with Mark in tow. Jen and I said our good-byes and Mark did so separately. We left at the same time. Once outside, she announced that she'd go in Mark's car to get back to our place – explaining that she could give him directions. I hadn't expected that, but I guess I should have, and went straight to my car. I saw them get into his. I started my car and started to drive, having no choice but to drive by his car. He hadn't started it yet. They were kissing. I tried to keep my eyes on the road and kept driving.

Fifteen minutes later I was back in my apartment. I went straight to the window to see if they had arrived yet. I kept the lights in the apartment off, so they couldn't see me in the window. I just really wanted to see what she was up to when she thought I wasn't looking. I realized I was feeling very jealous, but was doing my very best to not act on my jealousy.

I was surprised to not be able to spot his car. They shouldn't be that far behind me – unless they spent a lot of time making out. I tried to mentally prepare myself for the show. I was about to watch Jen fuck Mark – and I was unhappy about this and unhappy that I was reacting this way. I wanted to be a bigger, enlightened person.

Finally his car did show up. But they didn't immediately emerge. I could only guess they were, again, making out. Five minutes – I timed it. Finally, they emerged, embraced, and then made their way to the apartment entrance. They'd be up to our apartment in just a minute. I raced around turning the lights on, to look like I wasn't preoccupied about them – I could only imagine how weird I'd look if they came back to a totally dark apartment. Once done, I went into our living room and sat on the couch. I wasn't sure how this would proceed.

I nervously counted the seconds until they entered the apartment, Mark's arm around her waist. He had a smile on his face more like a smirk. Jen was the first to speak – "So – shall we take this to the bedroom?"

I said nothing and started to get up off the couch – in my head, I was about to play the role of silent observer.

"Hold on!" Mark said firmly. "I agreed to go to bed with you in your bed, knowing he'd be here," he started –"But I didn't agree to have him join us in the bedroom!"

Jen tried to placate him – "He's only going to watch; not partake! It will be just you and I in bed."

I had thought she had settled this point already. I was now realizing it was not. Mark shook his head no. "There are no other guys around when I bed a girl." Jen looked at him, then me, not knowing exactly what to say.

Mark didn't give her much chance to think. He decided to seize the moment and took a hard position. "This is up to you, Jen. If you want me in bed, it will be you and I in your bedroom alone. And given how late it is, I will be spending the night. He can sleep on the couch there, "he added, nodding to me.