Unwelcome

Mary arrived and we stood just in from the foyer and talked with our arms loosely around each other after sharing a brief hug. "How are you doing now Ben?"

"Better."

"I think you are too. I see more light in your eyes, and your smile is quicker."

"You're looking pretty hot."

"I never look hot, but thank you."

I touched her breasts and smiled as I said, "You look so natural that I wanted to see if you were wearing a bra."

"I am."

"I noticed, but it's pretty small."

"It is small," and she raised her blouse and showed me.

"Oh damn Mary, I was right, you are hot."

"You really are doing better," and she lowered her blouse. "Have you had anymore donations for your collection?"

"I haven't, are you volunteering?"

"But I gave you my bra the last time I was here."

"Damn, I was hoping you had forgotten."

"I think you're doing a lot better."

"How about a glass of pre wine, wine."

She laughed and said, "How is that again?"

"Well we'll be going out for wine and dinner, so I thought a glass of wine now before we go out for wine and dinner."

"Who is going to drive us home?"

"Hopefully I will, but we'll see."

We were pelvis to pelvis as she leaned back a little and asked me, "What have you been up to that might explain this wonderful improvement in you?"

"Well look at us right now for example. How can I not love what we're sharing."

"I mean before I got here."

I made sure I kept my part of the pelvic connection going as I said, "Oh that. Well...you remember Sally don't you? I mean from the party?"

"I think so."

"Well she's been coming over every few days and giving me a full massage to help my relax."

"Is that right. Tell me more."

"Well, she would arrive with her massage table and oils, and I'd strip and she'd massage me."

"Oh, you'd strip."

"Well just to my underwear of course."

"Right, of course. And those massages lasted how long?"

"Oh, half an hour or maybe a little more."

"That's very nice of her, and you'd end up totally relaxed."

"Oh very relaxed."

She smiled and kept watching me as she said, "You're lying, you two made love is what really happened."

"I, or rather we did not make love one time. I never even touched her inappropriately."

"You're kidding me."

"For real. Okay, the thought came to me, but like I said, we didn't make love."

"I guess I believe you. Because of Ellie I'm sure."

"No, because of Sally." She laughed again but then I told her, "Seriously Mary, Ellie was on my mind a lot."

"That's more what I expected you to say. But still you considered making love to her."

"I have to plead guilty to that."

"Let's try a glass of your wine."

We got comfortable on the sofa to talk and sip wine. Mary had her bare feet tucked up under her butt and I had one shoeless foot propped up on the coffee table. Then from the front door we heard, "Ben are you decent?"

"Give me a minute Dee," I told her and smiled at Mary as Dee popped into the living room.

"Oh, sorry, we didn't realize you had company."

As Ted appeared I said, "In case you don't remember from the party, this is Mary, one of Ellie's best friends."

"Oh I remember you," Ted said and then added, "I saw the car but assumed it was Jenny."

"Ted," Dee said as she smacked his arm, and said, "You can be such a clod."

"Well I didn't know, how are you Mary."

"Fine Ted, hi Dee."

"Hi. We were just checking to see if Ben was doing okay."

In a way I felt like I had been caught with my hand in the proverbial cookie jar. "We're doing fine. Mary and I were just talking about making love."

Mary smiled, but she quickly and firmly said, "Ben, we were not."

"Oh. Oh, that's right, I was thinking about us making love, but we were talking about where to have dinner."

"Oh my god."

"Don't worry Mary," Dee said, "We're used to Ben, but it's good to see him in good spirits again."

"I think he was drinking even before I got here."

Then a wave of guilt washed over me. I shouldn't have been making jokes when I still missed Ellie so much, but then I could hear Sally's voice telling me to learn to dance in the rain. All of that went through my mind in a flash and then I found myself smiling as I used the old line, "I'm sone stober."

Chapter Fifty Six

The four of us had dinner at Demos', and as our waiter cleared our table, Ted asked me, "Have you been out past those properties that you were looking at?"

Dee gave him a stern look, but I managed a smile and told him, "I really haven't."

"The only reason I asked is I was past the two acre property you were looking at, and it has a sold sign on it."

"That's okay."

"Ted, that was so insensitive of you."

"I'm sorry Ben, and I apologize to you too Mary."

"That's okay. I was wondering about all of that too," and she looked quickly at Dee.

I sat straighter and leaned back as I told a half truth saying, "I've thought about that house that Ellie liked so much. Even if nothing was done to that place, it would be a nice improvement over my condo." As we were talking my eyes drifted past our table and locked onto a retreating figure. "I'll be back," and I tipped my chair over as I almost ran after her, but she made it to the ladies room before I could catch her so I had to stop. Another woman was nearing me on her way to use the facilities, so I asked her, "Miss, excuse me, but a woman named Jenny just went in there. I'm not sure if she's feeling well. Would you call her name and tell her that Ben will wait for her no matter how long she'll be? It's quite important."

She stared at me like I was from outer space, but at last she agreed to help me. Then Ted caught up with me and asked, "Are you okay bro?"

"I'm fine. Go back and apologize to Dee and Mary for me would you? I might be here for several minutes and I'll explain later. Tell them I suddenly felt like I might be sick, but I'm better now."

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine, and tell Mary that I'll take her out past the house we were talking about tomorrow."

"You worry me dude. Okay, I'll go tell them."

"Order another round of drinks."

"Like you need more alcohol." He left me then and I focused on the ladies room door, but from a distance away. I didn't want anybody to think I was trying to grab a peek at some woman's exposed ass or something.

The mistrusting woman appeared and said, "I gave her your message, but I'm not sure she wants you to wait."

"Thank you very much, but I will wait." I hadn't even been certain it was Jenny that I'd seen from behind, but I had to find out, and now I knew I had been right. It also turned out that I didn't have to wait a long time.

As soon as I saw her in the doorway I wanted to run to her, but I waited until she was away from the restroom door and then went to her. She didn't smile, and in fact it looked like she was going to cry. "Jenny honey please talk to me. I've missed you and worried about you so much."

As soon as our arms were around each other she whispered, "Oh Ben," and she held me in a firm embrace.

"Why did you run away honey, I've been so damn worried about you."

Our eyes finally met and I touched the tears on her cheeks. "Please tell me we can talk. Please honey. If I have to, I'll go to my knees and beg you, and embarrass both of us." A thin smile appeared then I asked her, "Can we talk?"

"Ben, I'm with somebody so I can't stay away."

"Tell him that some drunk almost threw up on you or something."

Her smile grew a little and she said, "It's a her, not a him."

"I'm with Ted, Dee and Mary. You know, Ellie's friend from Sparta."

"Oh."

"Honey, don't draw any hasty conclusions. Tomorrow. Call me tomorrow please, and tell me I can see you. Just to talk if nothing else, but...please?"

"I'll call you tomorrow afternoon."

I kissed her, or rather we shared a brief and tender kiss and then I had to watch her walk away. I went into the men's room and threw water on my face, toweled off and made sure my eyes didn't look like I'd been crying before I went back to our table.

As soon as I sat down Mary took my hand and asked me, "Are you okay now Ben?"

"I'm fine now. Even great. I can't explain it, but I'm fine," and to prove it I drained about half of my fresh drink and then smiled.

"Well let's get you home just in case okay?"

"That's a good idea."

Ted drove us home and then they left and I put my arms around Mary and told her, "Sorry about bolting from the table like I did."

"But you're okay."

"I really am."

"You scared us."

"I'm sure, but I didn't have time to explain."

"Oh I can understand that." Then she kissed me and asked, "What's this about looking at a house tomorrow?"

"Oh nothing big, I just thought you might want to see the house that Ted and I were talking about."

"The one that Ellie liked so much, right?"

"Right. She wanted that house, and I wanted the property that Ted said is sold. Now as I look back I don't think spending a ton of money to build on that sight would have been a smart thing to do."

"So you were saved from yourself."

"It would seem so."

We were still in each other's arms as we smiled at each other, and she asked me, "Well since the topic is on the table, what are your thoughts about all of that now?"

"My thoughts are still a little hazy and mixed up, but maybe looking at the house tomorrow will help me think straighter."

"Or make you cry, and just for the record I could understand if that happened."

"You're right, I might, but if you're willing to risk it I am."

"You have a date handsome."

"Mary, you've never said and I've never asked, but are you seeing anybody?"

She smiled and paused before she said, "Let's say starting a couple of weeks ago I'm sort of seeing somebody."

"But no problem with you being here now?"

"Oh no, they even know I'm here and that whole story."

"Interesting."

"Yes it is," and she kissed me again.

We had cast our coats onto the small settee in the foyer as we came in, and now Mary was unbuttoning my shirt as she said, "I clearly remember a moment at your party where you made some very tantalizing but vague promises to me."

My hands went to her blouse then as I said, "I remember that moment too as a matter of fact. Yes we were both being a little hazy, but given a few minutes, I think you and I can fill in those blanks."

"I think so too." We left her blouse and my shirt behind and we went to my bedroom where I finished undressing her.

"Here honey," She said handing her panties to me. "Put these with my bra and hang them where everybody can see them."

"Just be sure to sign them love, and in bold letters so every guest can read them."

"I'll do that."

We shared awhile buried in intense and soul satisfying sex, and then rested and she said, "When you and I were teasing each other at the party I never thought we'd end up in together in bed."

"I didn't either because you were so cautious and...well reserved I guess."

"That was the real me. Something about your loft, your party and you worked on me though."

"Ellie was afraid of the farm and how she said it was changing her so quickly, and that's one reason we were so quick to sell it."

"I can understand that."

"And then you and Pam came to see me. You and Pam. That just about blew me away."

She looked at me and asked "What about me and Pam?"

"You and Pam is like saying oil and water. You two are nothing like each other at all. I could ask her to strip naked and I think she'd do it without hesitation, where you would never have done that."

"Don't look now, but I am naked."

"But she might not care where she was or who was there."

Mary smiled and said, "You're right of course. She is one very sexy woman and she loves anything to do with teasing and sex."

"I got that impression very quickly and so did Ellie. Corey is much the same, but he's more subtle. More like it's his job in life to please Pam."

"Oh, you have that right lover. He's very close to being a cuckold."

"Oh, then that's even more so than I had guessed."

"And Pam is rubbing off on me."

"Oh, so now I'm getting it. Again, very interesting indeed."

"I believe I feel a stirring in your cock."

"It might have something to do with you toying with it."

"It just might."

"Will you make your man a cuckold?"

"That's not me hon."

As we talked I was exploring her as she teased me, and seconds later I was slipping into her again. My stamina was less than impressive the second time, and the intense passion was gone, but we still enjoyed each other. I finally gave up but stayed hard as I lay on her as she smiled up at me and told me, "It seems impossible that your party is what started this. I came to the party pretty prim and reserved, but here I am now on my back and full of your cock."

"And I thought I'd never even see you naked, let alone have you in my bed."

In the morning I took Mary out to the house that Ellie and I had talked about so much, and we leaned against the car on the shoulder of the road. As I looked at the house once again I described the interior to her. "Ben, does this bother you?"

"Yes, but I'm okay. So what do you think of it?"

"I think it's wonderful, but I can't picture what an architect would come up with to make it look like a barn and still be stylish."

"That's the problem I was having too. You know, maybe I'll call him tomorrow. After Ellie died I put that on hold and paid him for what he had done."

"I thought you didn't want this place."

"I told Ellie that to be fair I would see what could be done with the house."

"If nothing else you'd have a very nice place to live in."

"I know, but..."

"But not to live alone in."

"Right."

"Of course your condo is very nice and comfortable."

"Thank you, and it is a good size for me."

"There's still a note of curiosity in your voice though."

I smiled and told her, "While Sally and I talked...before during or after a massage I'm not sure, but she said something that is really sticking with me. So much so that I remember the whole phrase. Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning how to dance in the rain."

"Oh Ben, that is so hard to do, but that is so good, and so true. So thinking about this house is your way of dancing in the rain?"

"I don't know, but maybe. Damn it Mary, Ellie is still in my thoughts a lot and I still miss her very much."

"I know you do Ben, but you are doing so much better."

"I just get hung up on the fact that what happened to her was so unfair and stupid."

"Of course it was. That Ray Masters is a waste of flesh and truly an evil person."

"I want him dead, but at the same time I want him to suffer everyday for the rest of his life."

"You'll get that wish. He was used to power, freedom and money, but now he has none of those things, and now he's reviled by every good member of law enforcement, and he'll be hated by every inmate in whatever prison that he'll end up in. No money, no power, no friends and certainly no freedom. Just a seven by twelve cell, just big enough for three good steps from wall to wall. Not even enough room to pace."

"Good."

In a way it felt good to talk to Mary about that mess. We both suffered from our loss because Ellie was her best friend.

I turned around in the driveway to that house and we went back to my place. Mary looked at her watch and told me, "Ben, it's going to be after four before I get home, so I better get on my way."

She retrieved her little bag and we held each other and shared a kiss, and then talked for a minute at the door. We shared a wave after she backed out of my driveway, and I watched her head for the corner where she would turn left and be on her way. Jenny was already on my mind as I stood there with my door open and the cold January air invading my home. Would Jenny even come, was the question that worried me. If she didn't, it wasn't likely that I'd ever see her again.

Chapter Fifty Seven

Jennie had called and agreed to come over to talk, but by the time the clock passed five my hopes of seeing Jenny were pretty much gone. I'd parked myself in the living room so I could watch the driveway, but I abandoned that post and wandered out to the kitchen, convinced that I wanted a stiff drink. I put the bottle of whisky on the counter and that's when my doorbell chimed. I made a mad dash to the front door, stopped and took a breath and then opened it and nearly cried. "Damn, I didn't think you were going to come Jenny," and I stepped back. She wasn't exactly smiling, but she didn't look sad, so I was hanging onto that minor detail as I closed the door behind her. She turned to face me and we simply stepped into each other's arms and didn't move or say anything for several seconds. My eyes were closed and my hands slowly moved up and down her back as I took in her warmth and enjoyed the sweet feeling of her arms around me.

"I almost drove past, intent on just going home."

I kept my hands on her hips as I looked at her and asked, "But why hon, what did I do to make you run away from me?"

"I haven't been running away from you Ben, I'm running away from us. What we did and so much more."

With my arm around her I steered her toward the living room saying, "We have to talk Jenny. Help me to understand what's going on." She didn't respond as her arms dropped to her side, and we moved to the couch and sat next to each other. I held her hand in mine and pleaded, "Talk to me hon. Tell me everything that is troubling you. Tell me what I can do to keep you in my life, because I'll do almost anything to make that happen."

"Ben, it isn't like I can just tell you something and it will go away."

"Okay, but if nothing else, help me to understand. We had that awesome weekend in Miami and then you were gone, hiding from me, or the world, I don't know."

"Okay damn it, just for starters, let's talk about that awesome weekend in Miami, and I agree, it was that and more. I ran after you all the way down there, and betrayed the confidence and trust that Ellie had in me. She put up with so much crap from me and that's how I repaid her. Talking to her on your phone in the bar that night was the last time I ever talked to her, and that was about me fucking her fiancée while she was dealing with Sparta issues. Oh I felt good about myself after that. I hated myself after that. Another thing. I chased you around your loft at the party and I hung onto you like sticky tape. I couldn't have been closer to you unless I climbed into your superman tights. I forced myself to go talk to others, but my mind and eyes were on you most of the time. You and I pawed and teased each other, and sweet Ellie smiled and didn't make a scene over what I was doing. My god, I even slept with you and we made love that night, and there was Ellie, being tolerant of me. And me? Did I make it a priority to talk to Ellie? Hell no, I couldn't think about anything other than how I could be with you again. Not even to make love necessarily, but be with you and to feel your hands on me or your arms around me."

Jenny wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and said, "Even after she was killed, all I could think about was you and us being together. I just couldn't take it any more. You were in mourning. You suffered the pain of losing the most important person in your life, and what did I do to help you? The same thing I'd been doing all along, plotting a way to be with you and called it being there for you, to help you through your nightmare. I make myself totally sick."

"Jenny, you are beating the hell out of yourself. First of all, I was every bit as guilty about the Miami thing. You know very well how I should have handled that, but I couldn't get you to my room fast enough. Jenny remember, I never got to talk to Ellie about Miami either. I agree that she put up with a lot of crap from both of us, but let's come back to that later. I'm going to tell you what I felt and thought at the Halloween party."