Vacation Planning

"Maybe we shouldn't do this!" I suddenly pleaded, fear starting to build into a panic. I had visions of his hot sticky white stuff spurting into me like it had spurted out onto my wrist. And I wasn't on the pill and my period was still two weeks away and there was no condom on him protecting me which meant I could get pregnant if I did this!

Pregnant by my ownbrother!

"I don't want to do this!" I screeched at him. "Get off of me, Kevin!Get off!"

I began to push at him and shove with my hands and my feet and suddenly he was off the couch and backing away from me. I sat up and drove myself backwards against the couch arm with my feet. I was panting and panicked and ready to run screaming to my bedroom. I thought my heart would stop. I grabbed the Afghan my grandmother had knitted off the back of the couch, clutched it to myself, then wrapped myself up in it.

I had beenfucking my own brother.

For a minute I just sat there, huddled inside the Afghan on the end of the couch, my breath chugging in and out of my lungs. My brother had gathered up his undershorts and t-shirt from the floor and was putting them on. The t-shirt was draped across his right shoulder and he was hopping up and down on his right foot, trying to get into his jockey shorts. His penis had gone completely limp now.

"Kevin?" I said to him unsteadily.

"What?" It came out very gruff and he didn't look up at me.

I could say that I was sorry, I could tell him that I had just freaked out and it wasn't his fault, I could sit there and cry as he put his underpants on and then his t-shirt and then the rest of his clothes and went out of the room and left me sitting there on the couch crying. Then I could watch our relationship turn into absolute shit.

I had to word this very carefully. Boys, Kevin included, react to stressful situations with their sense of pride, not their intelligence. "Kevin?" I said.

"What?" he repeated, even more gruffly this time.

"I want you to go up to Mom and Dad's bedroom, get their box of condoms out of the drawer and bring me one, okay?"

He stopped hopping up and down on his foot. One side of his underwear was halfway up his thigh. He blinked six or seven times, his face all red, his mouth twisted up into a frown.

"What?" he said again.

I repeated what I had just told him. He stared at me, flustered. For a moment, I considered unwrapping myself from the Afghan, letting him see me naked again, but I was afraid that might be too much. I stayed wrapped up.

"Are you serious?" he finally asked.

Don't try to mend their broken sense of pride, don't try to make them feel less guilty, don't give their self-destructive nature the chance to hurt them even more by hurting you . . . simply head them off in a new direction, my mother had once told me.

"If you're gonna fuck me," I told him, a lot more steadily than I felt, "you're gonna use a condom."

He had then gone upstairs and gotten the condom.

* * *

"I liked what we did today," I told him softly.

He was quite a time, but I let him be quiet. He would say it eventually, we both knew that, but it was just harder for him because he was my brother. My older brother who had "copped my cherry" as he put it.

"I'm fine," I assured him. "No bleeding, no soreness, no nothing."

"Cloe!" he moaned, embarrassed, and making me laugh again.

I looked over at the stairs, got up and went over to them and stood there listening. Then I climbed halfway up to make sure Mom and Dad were still in the dining room, still talking, then went went back down again on tiptoe. I went back to the couch were Kevin sat turned around, looking at me in puzzlement. Then I straddled his lap.

"Cloe--" he got out before I put my mouth over his and began to kiss him. I put my arms around his neck and we began to French kiss deeply. His tongue made my tongue work very hard and we both began to moan.

"Quiet," he whispered to me hoarsely.

My heart was playing racehorse again. I took a deep breath and lifted my shirt up to my underarms. My brassiere snapped in the front this time and I let him undo it. The cups fell away. I watched my chest go rapidly up and down, my nipples get hard as he rolled them between his fingertips. The hickey below my left nipple was shockingly purple-black. It was the exact size and shape of Kevin's mouth. There were tooth-marks around the edges. I thought again about what would happen to me if Bobby ever saw this.

Kevin touched the hickey gently. I jumped, although it didn't really hurt. Then he leaned me back and placed his mouth over the oval shape and sucked gently on my skin.

"Kevin?" I pleaded with him. "Don't do that! It'll make it worse."

He took his mouth off the bruise and proceeded to give me an identical one right below my right nipple.

"Kevin!" I squealed quietly at him. "Stop that!"

But his mouth stayed right where it was and he sucked until he finally came away and looked up at me with this huge grin on his face. The bruising had already begun, and if anything, this one would be bigger.

"Kevin!" I whined. "Are youtrying to get me killed? I have a boyfriend, remember?"

"Just be glad you don't have gym class anymore," he said, and I blanched. Gym class had only been over for two days. If any of my friends--or enemies--had seen these things and told Bobby about them. . . it made me shudder violently.

Bending me back and to the side, he put his mouth over my right nipple and began to suck it. I shuddered again, only this time from pleasure. I had to breath through my open mouth and struggle not to moan out loud. I watched the basement stairs through my half-slitted eyelids while he went from one nipple to the other. And all the while the hickey beneath my right nipple just kept getting darker and darker. Fear of Bobby or not, I wasso glad he had given it to me.

Insanity took me over then. One moment I was sitting on his lap, the next I was on the floor between his legs, breathing so heavily that each exhalation came accompanied by a shudder. He tried to keep me from doing what I intended to do, but I wasn't gonna let him. I put my right hand on the bulge of his crotch, traced the outline of his erection, rubbed it along its entire length with my fingertips.

"Cloe, no!" he croaked.

"I want to and I'm going to," I told him in a whisper. "You might as well just let me go ahead and do it, okay?"

Half-watching the basement stairs, and half-watching what I was doing, I lowered his fly--we cringed at the noise it made, it wasso loud!--and spread his jeans apart. I did not unbuckle them at the top because I felt that wouldn't be as sexy as just undoing his fly. I was going on auto-pilot anyway; I had never done this before.

I freed his penis, working it through the flap on his underwear. I released it and it stood straight up in the air, completely erect, eight inches long and about and two inches wide. It was the only penis I had ever seen erect that wasn't in a picture or in a video tape. It was pink and lightly marked with irregular blue veins. The pee-hole was at the very bottom of the head and was already leaking semen. I shivered, just looking at it.

"God, Kevin," I whispered. I wondered if I could go through with this.

When he had made love to me this afternoon, his penis had been safely tucked away inside me, where I didn't have to see it. Here I was with it now, its eight thick inches only eight inches from my mouth. It would spurt its hot sticky white stuff out again, and not into any condom this time.

"Youdon't have to do this," he whispered at me fiercely.

I thought that probably he was not so sure he wanted his little sister's mouth all over his cock. Fucking me and getting a blow job by me, maybe, were two entirely different propositions for him.

"Let's think about this," he further pleaded.

I was thinking about it all right. "Are you gonna come in my mouth?" I asked him in a whisper.

He looked back at the stairs, then at me, then back at the stairs again. "I may not be ablenot to," he hissed, still watching the stairs. "I'm ready to come right now!"

He was. I had the feeling I had only to take him in my hand and stroke him up and down one time and hot sticky white stuff would come spurting out of him like a geyser. The question I had to ask myself--or answer myself, really--was whether I wanted that geyser in my mouth.

The answer was yes.

* * *

Tonight, or early tomorrow morning, when I sneak back down to the basement to be with Kevin again, I have to ask him what the slang term is for copping a girl's rear end.