Valentine's Day Renewal

The weekend passed in a blur, crying, watching television and sort of eating. Monday morning found me in my couch, sore, with a headache and bloodshot eyes with dark bags underneath. I called Mr. Grisham and requested this week off. The good thing is I am always prompt, and never missed work, he said; so he gladly obliged.

*************************************************************************************

The minutes passed and Bradley noticed. Sara doesn't seem as though she had ever been late in her life. Was it because of his behavior? Haunted by Friday night for the entire weekend and now, not given the chance to make it up was really provoking his conscience.

"I wonder if she called to say she wouldn't be here."

He headed upstairs to his father, he should know. He knocked on the door,

"Come in," Bradley pushed through to see his father motion to him while on his phone. He went inside and lingered around the award case.

"Bradley, what's up? How's the work coming?"

"It's good. I was actually wondering if you knew if Sara was going to be out today."

"Shit! I was supposed to tell the secretary to let you know. She called in for the entire week. So unlike her though. I guess her plans for next week are far too great so she needed more time." He joked as he sat back in his chair.

"Next week?"

"Yeah, I guess she would have said it to you had she been here today. Sara has never worked from the 13th to the 20th of February, this to make the third year running. That was her only request when she was getting the job, she was willing to take it without pay, as long as she got those seven days off. That must be one lucky guy!"

He was now laughing heartily, but Bradley wasn't smiling. Every year? She didn't seem too excited like someone with upcoming plans.

"Okay, thanks. I'm going to be out today as well, is that cool?"

"Yeah, you guys have almost two months, take all the time you need," the phone rang and his attention turned. Bradley headed out, now with more questions than answers and went to his car. If I go to her house, she'll probably slam the door in my face, but I have no number for her. Two weeks before she returned! He couldn't understand his fixation with her but it didn't matter. He would take the chance anyways. He turned over the engine and drove back to the apartment parking lot. There was a tenant list on the inside of the elevator. He pressed the button for her floor and the elevator roared to life. He walked down the hall, stopped, turned back then turned back again.

"This is a bad idea. She'll probably report me!" he cursed to himself. "You're already here!" and he commanded his feet forward.

'8A, this is her.' He knocked on the door almost timidly. No answer. Relief and frustration fought for his thoughts. He knocked again. He heard a lock being released, followed by about three more locks. 'Wow, talk about guarded' he thought inwards. The door finally flung open. As soon as her eyes met his it was on its way to being slammed closed. He gently pushed against it with one hand.

"Wait! Please!"

"Leave!"

"If you give me two minutes, please, I won't come back, I promise!"

She stopped pushing against the door, but she didn't let me in.

"What?" she screamed with her body blocking the small gap in the doorway.

"May I come in first?" I knew I was pushing my luck. At this rate I'd lose my seat with the company before starting. Her eyes were dark and red but made no hesitation as they bled poison with her glare. Wearing a camisole there was that scar she'd tried to hide. I drank her in further, even with no bra, her breasts seemed rounded like two globes and her nipples clearly outlined, sweat pants, her hair pulled into a messy ponytail. She reluctantly stepped backwards, barely opening the door. I had to almost squeeze through. She slammed the door and walked toward the couch. I notice a few marks across her back above the line of her blouse, however not as prominent as the one on her chest. I continued to stare; she had quite the curves, a firmly rounded ass, probably no underwear! She sat down with a plop and I slapped myself mentally for letting my mind stray. I walked around not being sure where to start. I analyzed her immaculately kept apartment. Very modern, open concept, probably a good view behind those black-out drapes. It was like walking into a magazine set-up but for a very depressed scene.

"Why are you here?"

I sighed, "I wanted to apologize about Friday," I inched closer to the couch, almost too timid for a man my size. "I was out of line and I felt horribly about it, and when you didn't come to work............"

"Aaaawww, you felt like you were the center of my thoughts and your words cut me so deep I couldn't bear to come to work?" her sarcasm stung more than it probably should.

My jaw clenched, she really couldn't take a damn apology, a favor, anything kind! 'You're here to apologize Bradley. Calm down!'

"No, I just didn't want to wait two weeks to say that I am sorry." He moved to sit on the couch and she drew to the other end. 'What could cause someone to be so timid' he questioned looking at her with concern.

"Don't waste your time staring at me with pity!" she barked.

"It's not pity! Its concern and worry! You're not a woman that wants or need pity, I'm very aware of that!"

She didn't respond, just shrugged.

"Well, my father thinks you have big plans for this weekend like you do every year!" I laughed awkwardly. She scoffed and shook her head in disgust but still said nothing. "It's apparent that that's not the case, do you want to talk about it?"

"Nothing to talk about,"

"Can I ask you a question?"

"If it's unrelated"

"Do you want to go out?"

"No"

"Do you want to stay in?"

"That's why I'm home,"

"Well I could bring food, or cook. We could catch up on the work we have left"

"I don't want to do any work; I'm not in the mood."

"Well that's fine; I'll go out and get something for us!" I was almost out the door hoping she wouldn't continue to decline my offer.

"Bradley," she said walking towards the door.

"I don't want any food, I don't want any dates, I just want to stay home. I've got a lot going on. You can't help me, and needn't try. You are probably very nice but I am anything but, I am bitter and frozen and this is who I am. So don't come back. I'll see you at work" she looked to the floor and opened the door slowly and stepped back.

"I'll be back with lunch in a bit," I moved to push a strand of hair back and she stepped away. I don't know why I did it, but her almost fear of even my hand fell hard on me. I went into the hall and she slowly closed the door and I heard her close her multiple locks. I walked away, thinking about the shell I had seen just now versus the fierce woman whose looks could kill. It was such total opposite it was almost unbelievable.

*************************************************************************************

'Why is he being so persistent? He's going to come back with lunch and want to talk. I won't have a moment's peace if he thinks he needs to pity me. He seems to be one of those who wants to fix everything, like a charity case.'

I lay in the couch and stared mindlessly at the TV while hugging a pillow. Sleep didn't come easily nor did it stay. There was an incessant knocking on my door.

"Sara, I know you are still home. Open up" it wasn't aggressive but it was obvious he wasn't leaving.

"I'll stay out here until your neighbors hear me. Just open the door please. I brought Chinese food for lunch."

Maybe if I let him in, he'll eat in silence like the other night. I shrugged and got up, released all the bolts and turned the handle.

He had a smile on his face although I don't understand why. I stepped back and he let himself in closing the door behind him. He went to the kitchen and I went back to the couch to embrace my pillow. Moments later he approached with a dish and placed in front of me on the coffee table. He left and came back with drinks and a dish for himself. I shifted slowly on the couch and reached for the plate and fork. I could see a smile form on his lips. We ate in silence much to my pleasure but that ended eventually.

"What are you debating in your head?"

"What?"

"Whenever you are stuck you twist your left brow and you bite the right corner of you lip. Then when you figure it out a half smile forms on the left side of your mouth, like an inside joke."

I didn't respond, I just uncurled my lips, not having noticed it before and stared at him.

"Are you in New York alone?"

"Yes"

"What are you doing for Valentine's Day?"

My face fell sour in an instant. I saw the look on his face change as though he saw exactly what nerve he touched. I decided not to bite at him but softly said, "Nothing,"

"What caused the scar on your chest?"

Now he was really pushing. Still trying to stay calm, I replied, "Why do you want to know? What is telling you about me going to do for you?"

"It bothers you, and you try to hide it. You don't hide it now because you know I've seen it but I'd like to about you in general, which includes that. I like you even though you are not necessarily warm towards me," he chuckled softly to imply no insult.

"People want to pity you, or play nice when they know about you. I don't like it, so I don't talk about me,"

"Do I strike you as the person to pity you after all, your bark is as bad as your bite, you can hold your own," now he was in a full on laugh. I smiled barely, not sure if it was more an insult or a compliment. I sighed and looked out toward the heavy drapes blocking the light.

"I was married for three years, back in Arizona, worked a lot, my husband didn't like it, my bedroom became his hotel, my body became his sparring partner, and on the 13th of February he beat me for telling him to leave and the mistress in my bed was the one who looked after me until I was conscious. I moved to a few cities over six months, landed in NYC and decided to stay. The one in my chest is from a broken bottle; the ones in my back are from his rings or counters and cabinets, depending on what I fell against. Do you want to start the pity party now?" he slid closer but I had no further to go on the couch.

"I don't intend to pity you" his thumb grazed my shoulder but I didn't move this time. "Let's play scrabble...........I saw it on your bookshelf on my way to the kitchen."

"I'm not really in the mood," but he was already halfway to the shelf. He really didn't take no for an answer. He set up the board and even with ignoring him, he just continued on as though I'd agreed.

I gave in and we played for the rest of the evening, talking of mindless topics, eating more Chinese food and eventually ordering pizza. We hung around like friends, awkwardly, but I enjoyed it. I haven't had that since Adrian I had just gotten married. He looked at his watch,

"It's getting late, I probably should get going."

"Yeah, I guess it is. Thanks for hanging around."

I got up and headed towards the door and he followed.

"I'm glad you let me," before I could respond he pulled me inwards and hugged me firmly. My body tensed and then relaxed when I inhaled and met his subtle cologne. His chest was broad and firm and his arms were thick and enveloped me. I melted against him for a moment, forgetting my own inhibitions. It'd been a while since I felt a man this way. He pulled loose hair from my face and kissed me on my crown and pulled away.

"Good night."

"Bye"

I closed the door behind him and settled back in the couch and thought a little more about him. His body enthralled me now, and I wanted to feel close to him again. Then the thoughts of my scars came, my past and my eyes filled with tears and it accompanied me to sleep. I slept a little more sound for the first night in a while.

I got up and showered and stare at myself in the mirror. Everything but the scars...............that's the one thing ruining my body, physically. I sighed and pulled a large towel around my chest and began to run a comb through my wet hair. Then there was a knock outside. I ignored it thinking it could be across the hall. It wasn't even 8am yet.

"Sara, its Bradley."

I went towards the door and pulled all the bolts and turned the knob. Bradley looked down at me, wearing jeans and a blue polo shirt that fit and defined his chiseled muscles. I hadn't even realized I was standing in the doorway, in my towel.

"Morning. Can I come in?" he smiled. My embarrassment was probably apparent. I think I mumbled 'good morning' while stepping backwards.

"I know I didn't ask to come by this morning, but I thought you might feel sorry for me if I was already here" he smiled at me as I closed the door. He stood less than a foot from me as I leaned against the door. He closed the space between us with his hands against the door. There was that scent again.

"I like you. I really like you Sara. I don't want to push you or frighten you but I really want to kiss you right now. Can I?"

I wasn't sure what to say. Lord knows I wanted to, but what would come after that?

"Just one kiss. Nothing else, I promise," as though I'd said my thoughts out loud. I nodded my head shyly and he smiled at me warmly. The space closed between us and his gaze never left mine until his eyes closed when his lips brushed mine. Slowly his lips closed against mine and everything stopped. My breathing, my heart, time.............it was the kind of kiss they wrote cheesy books about. I could feel the tip of his tongue against my bottom lip and my mouth slightly parted, beckoning to him. His tongue found mine and heat flushed my body. His hand moved from the door to the base of my neck and his finger stroked my face. His lips finally pulled away but his forehead rested against mine.

"I think you should get dressed,"

"Mmhm," but neither of us moved. His lips closed down again and it felt more intense but somehow still as soft. He backed off and ran his hands through his hair in obvious frustration.

"I'll be right back," I headed towards my bedroom and swung the door behind me. I pulled away my towel and felt a coolness between my legs; something I've had no reason to feel in years. I put on a pair of old jeans and a T-shirt. I went back outside to see him moving around in the kitchen.

"Let's have breakfast," he said while closing a cabinet.

I headed toward the kitchen and we flowed. Cooking and talking, like it was meant to be. The next couple days went by quickly and we shared a few kisses throughout the days. Nights were warmer with him around. I felt sadness each night he left. But reality was drawing near for me.

"I'll see you tomorrow?"

"No, you can't come here tomorrow!" I pulled away from his embrace.

"Why not? Because it's the 13th? That's not a good reason Sara,"

"I'm not ready; I'll see you in a few days. I'll call, I promise." He kissed me deeply and passionately and I fell to his touch.

"I will see you tomorrow," he whispered against my lips. Before I could speak, he'd gone through the door. I went to my couch, my safe haven and began to cry. I had nightmares still, I was moody, and I didn't eat; I didn't want to be with anyone for the next couple days.

I slept restlessly, my eyes confessed. I showered and found my way back to the couch and looked at my phone, 11:30AM. Maybe he decided to respect my wishes after all. I settled against my cushions and browsed the TV channels. A knock woke me from my usual restless sleep. I looked at my phone, 5:30pm. I should have figured. I got up and opened the door.

"Good afternoon," he stepped in and placed a deep kiss against my lips. "How was your day?"

"The same depressing way it's been for years." I closed the door as he set down his briefcase on the floor.

"You went to work today?"

"Nope. I just had some things to deal with so I had it this morning. How about you let me take you to dinner?"

"I don't really feel like going out, maybe another night."

"I've watched you enjoy the darkness of the house this past week. Tonight we go out; anything you want, even if it is burgers and fries. So get dressed."

I went to my room and found a green sleeveless turtleneck blouse and a pair of black trousers and laid them against the bed. I moved into the shower but didn't spend very long. I undid my horrible ponytail and attempted to pull it into a proper looking one. I put on low wedge heels and stepped into the living room. His attention was on the TV.

"Ready,"

He turned to face me and stood slowly. His eyes sparkle and I felt my face flush.

"Beautiful," he took two strides and closed the gap between us, "Just beautiful!" He held me in a firm embrace and kissed my crown, what I've now accepted as his habit.

"Let's get going," he nudged me. True to his word I was allowed to choose and we went to my favorite pizzeria. We ate and laughed and for the first time in three years, I forgot what day it was and all the things associated with it. We talked all the way home just like we had all week. I poured us both some wine and he cuddled me as I sat on the couch with him. We relaxed into the night watching TV. We were aware of nothing but each other. It was the perfect evening. He pulled me closer and kissed my ear and neck. I turned to face him and found his lips, but he didn't accept me.

"It's probably a lot for you right now, but I'm so in love with you Sara. The way you glare at me with raw fury and the way you look at me like friend you hold dear. I love your wit, and cunningness, your beauty and class. Sara, I love you and I needed you to know." His lips took mine before I had to me to react or respond. It was clear he did not desire a response, at least not now. His kiss deepened and his pull strengthened. In a fluid move, I found myself straddling him, now pressing against steel. He moaned against my mouth as his hands roamed over my back and down my hips. I found myself wondering how he would feel inside me. I leaned forward seeking more from him, my nipples hardened as my chest pressed against his. His hand caressed my outer thigh upwards until it met my copious ass and I was compelled to grind my hip against him when he squeezed like it was a stress ball. His hand wandered along my waist and under the hem of my blouse and his thumbs grazed against my stomach as it went higher.

"We don't have to," he mumbled against my lips.

I didn't respond but kissed him harder and pull him closer from the base of his neck with my fingers tussling with his hair.

He stood and I wrapped my legs and arms around him more firmly. He found my bedroom and switched on the lights.

"No! Turn them off, please," I almost sounded like a child begging. His lips pressed against mine.

"Stop hiding from me Sara, I love all of you, I want all of you. Please let me have you, entirely," he waited for no response but locked our lips again and placed me down on the bed gently.

He understood my want, probably my need and continued to pull my blouse higher, as our kiss deepened. I groaned at having to pull away from him to be relieved of my top. He stared down at me; I suddenly became very aware of the other marks from more unfortunate encounters and my hand moved to cover my mid section. But his eyes emitted lust, love and intensity as he pulled my hands above my head and rejoined our lips. He moved along my neck, "Are you sure you want this?"

I kissed the line of his ear, "Bradley I need you!" I whispered and bit his ear lobe. He groaned against my neck and started kissing me with more aggression, as though he'd truly been waiting on my permission. His kisses softened as he covered the swell of my left breast while undoing my bra. He kissed the length of the scar and around it. He tossed my bra to the side and his right hand cupped my breast as he flicked his tongue against my now taught nipples. He danced around my areola then nibbled at me gently as he continued to massage my breast. His left hand found my inner thigh and trailed so closely to my core, I couldn't help but squirm beneath him, groaning in my throat, the only way I could inform him that I needed more of him. He pulled his hands away slowly then switched to apply the same pleasurable assault to my right breast. But this time his right hand found the waistband of my pants and started to undo the belt and zip. He slowly moved away from my breast and started kissing along the center of my stomach and his other hand went to assist in removing my pants. He looked down at me and I felt like a spread in magazine that all men wanted. He drank me in as he ran his hand from my knee to my inner thigh, stopping short of the edge of my lace underwear. He resumed kissing above my navel and then trailed downwards. His hands tugged my underwear down as I slightly lifted my hips to assist. He pulled away to remove them. I felt vulnerable but I felt good. I expected him to remove his now tented jeans and take me; instead he ran his hands along the inside of my thigh as his lips followed suit. I could feel my juices running from my slit as he got close to my now very swollen lips. Never had a man put his lips so close to my pussy. Anticipation riled in me with the thought of what I would be lucky enough to experience. He slid backwards as he spread my legs just a bit wider. He kissed the last space between my lips and my inner thigh. I am certain I was about to cum right then, feeling his warm breath on my slippery lips. I moaned and my mind drifted but I was awakened with a rush of pleasure as he flashed his tongue against my pussy lips in a quick movement. My body went rigid for a moment and his stare bore down on me as he realized that he had me. He smiled an almost evil grin had I not known better, and slipped his tongue into my wet slit and parted my folds. I was now assaulting the covers and arching my back. I wanted to scream but my mouth failed me. He ran his tongue upwards stopping short of my now pulsing clit. His tongue slipped over my lips and then into my pussy. Then in a sudden move his mouth clamped over my clit and it was over for me.